topic New here and breakup problem in Relationship and family issues

New here and breakup problem

Cantthinkstraightsteve — Thu, 02 Apr 2020 09:02:38 GMT

Hey....

My gf left 4 days ago....she says it was family reasons...but I suspect otherwise due to the fight we had.
2 years ago I left a boring relationship with three beautiful daughters...and met her 6 months later...since then
Its been an awesome journey...we moved in together 6 months later...man I'm finding it hard to write thithose 5 children moved in....I couldn't of been a more modeled bf and role model..for her children...I can't go on...I'm devistated

New here and breakup problem

white knight — Thu, 02 Apr 2020 10:04:52 GMT

Hi, welcome

Im sorry to hear this news. I’ve been there and it isn’t pleasant.

Grieving for a lost love is little different than grieving for the death of a family member. Both need time and time can’t be rushed, it is a process that we all endure.

However every negative can have a silver lining. During this period it is a good idea to remind yourself of those aspects of the relationship that wasn’t in harmony. At the same time fill your spare time With activities like hobbies, camping or craft.

Above all else care for yourself, allow your emotions to flow and remember that down the track a few short weeks you’ll recover and move forward.

Google

beyondblue topic the best praise you’ll ever get

TonyWK

New here and breakup problem

Katyonthehamsterwheel — Thu, 02 Apr 2020 14:56:25 GMT

Hey Steve,

Worst feeling buddy. I'm feeling for you. 4 days you're still in the thick of it. I agree with Tony to let your emotions out and be really gentle with yourself right now. Try to do some nice things to take your mind of it - exercise, garden, watch some old favourite movies. If you want to chat, I'm happy to listen.

Katy

New here and breakup problem

Cantthinkstraightsteve — Fri, 03 Apr 2020 12:04:19 GMT

We're still talking and she says she loves me...but I still find that I'm doing all the work to establish a stable relationship

New here and breakup problem

white knight — Fri, 03 Apr 2020 12:18:32 GMT

As my one time counseling visit found- “action speaks louder than words”.

All very nice to hear “I love you” but effort is a separate and more important development,

TonyWK

New here and breakup problem

Cantthinkstraightsteve — Sat, 04 Apr 2020 05:00:55 GMT

Thanks Katy

I would like to chat....I'm struggling a bit today.....although she moved out nearly a week ago...I patched things up before she left and we were still partners....but since then she rarely answers text messages and have to ring her when she says she'll ring...so today I told her I was moving on and that it was over...I know full well she didn't want the relationship anymore.....my heart has broken again.....this stuff didn't normally effect me...but it's floored me

New here and breakup problem

Betternow — Sat, 04 Apr 2020 05:11:55 GMT

It’s tough Steve, I know.

You we’re brave today when you told her you were moving on. Many people wouldn’t have the guts to do that. If she is the right one for you, she won’t go away. If she doesn’t come running back to you, it’s for the best but that doesn’t make it easy in the meantime.

There is no cure for the heartache blues except time ( a long time). It’s important ( and I’m sure you realise this), to stay healthy, get plenty of exercise, go easy on the booze and try and stay as connected to people (like here) as much as possible. Good luck Steve.

New here and breakup problem

Cantthinkstraightsteve — Sat, 04 Apr 2020 05:40:15 GMT

Thanks better now

I know I've done the right decision....but it hurts.....

New here and breakup problem

Katyonthehamsterwheel — Sat, 04 Apr 2020 06:19:58 GMT

Hi Steve

Sorry you're hurting 😞 I do agree with what Tony and betternow have said - you can't be the only one making the effort, so it sounds like you've made the right choice here. Give yourself permission to feel your feelings, but see if you can do some nice things for yourself as well. Always people to chat to here. Take care

New here and breakup problem

Cantthinkstraightsteve — Sun, 05 Apr 2020 05:56:03 GMT

Day 2......trying to be positive...exercised....watched a bit of telly......the pain is unbearable....can't snap out of it....I'm trying to be busy...but it's not working....I can't do this...I'm losing the fight...don't what to do

New here and breakup problem

daphnejanee — Mon, 06 Apr 2020 00:37:40 GMT

Morning Steve,

Hope you're feeling better this morning. What have you got planned for today?

Regards,

daphnejanee

New here and breakup problem

Cantthinkstraightsteve — Mon, 06 Apr 2020 08:59:16 GMT

I've been trying to stay busy...went to the docs got some sleeping tablets..had a sleep(train driver...silly hours) got up got some shopping done...walked 7km did weights and made a potato bake for meals for the rest of the week...if I rest my mind wonders....how are you travelling daphnejanee

New here and breakup problem

daphnejanee — Mon, 06 Apr 2020 09:21:46 GMT

Good to hear you are keeping yourself occupied. I think finding small tasks to do throughout the day when you're at home is a good way to distract yourself. My mind wanders like crazy too if I sit down and do nothing. I'm travelling okay today. Was sad when I got out of bed this morning, but tried to focus on my tasks for the day. I had an online uni class this morning and it was good to talk to others to take my mind off things for a few hours.

New here and breakup problem

Katyonthehamsterwheel — Mon, 06 Apr 2020 09:54:37 GMT

Hi Steve (hi there daphnejanee)

So sorry Steve, I replied to you this morning but the moderation machine seems to have eaten my post. I'm glad you went to the dr's, sleep is good for you at the moment. It also sounds like you've had a productive day, which would be helpful. I'm a bit jealous that you have potato bake to eat - yummo!

I hope you're feeling a bit better at least. But early days, so go gentle on yourself. Train driver hey? I'm going to guess you're an essential worker then. Take care mate. Apologies again for my vanishing reply. Katy

New here and breakup problem

Cantthinkstraightsteve — Mon, 06 Apr 2020 10:33:34 GMT

I'm still struggling a lot...but hopefully I'll get there...being stuck in an empty house where once was kids running and my girl...I'm on medication at the moment and it doesn't seem to be kicking in yet...only get relief when I take 2 sleeping tablets....I will get there...I just don't know when

New here and breakup problem

Cantthinkstraightsteve — Mon, 06 Apr 2020 10:42:22 GMT

Yes very essential....I forgot to salt and pepper my potato bake...but hey it still taste alright...I'm still waiting for a text from her I think that's wishful thinking...but I still hold hope....maybe that's why it still hurts...idk my mind is winning atm..and I feel helpless...I talked to my co-driver last night...he has just lost his 22 year old son to suicide...and it helped for a bit....I still can't believe we broke up over her fb addiction...I don't understand..I think maybe I've lost the plot cause it sees to me that she chose fb over me...it's a bitter pill to swallow

New here and breakup problem

Katyonthehamsterwheel — Tue, 07 Apr 2020 04:32:46 GMT

Hey Steve

I still haven't made sense of a lot of things related to my break up earlier this year. I think sometimes we don't get answers and we have to make do and move on. Nothing wrong with holding onto hope either, as long as it doesn't stop you moving forward, and also thinking about what you want. Hope you managed some sleep. Let us know how today's looking for you. Super nice weather here today, and I've been for a bike ride 🙂

Katy

New here and breakup problem

Cantthinkstraightsteve — Tue, 07 Apr 2020 07:20:28 GMT

We talked today....it's a start...via text and phone....not holding my breathe...but one day at a time...says she's missing me...atm I'll take it

New here and breakup problem

daphnejanee — Tue, 07 Apr 2020 07:35:37 GMT

Oh Steve, I know the feeling... My ex reached out to me last night. He texted me, we stayed up til 5am chatting about how things went wrong for us and why my expectations were different to his. I know he's missing me and I'm missing him, but he's stuck between wanting to give me the space I asked for and wanting me to take him back straight away. I told him it's too early for me to think about that. The heart needs time alone to heal.

I hope your interaction with her has got you feeling a bit better today and calms your mind a bit. Like you said, one day at a time 🙂

New here and breakup problem

daphnejanee — Tue, 07 Apr 2020 07:36:03 GMT

Oh Steve, I know the feeling... My ex reached out to me last night.
I hope your interaction with her has got you feeling a bit better today and calms your mind a bit. Like you said, one day at a time 🙂