https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/relationship-and-family-issues/always-trying-to-kick-my-boyfriend-out/m-p/447191#M34183 <P>Hi Amberrc,</P> <P>I used to do this a lot with my current partner (and probably with ones before him but I never took too much notice). I have depression and anxiety which seem to take turns in terms of ‘flare ups’.</P> <P>I can completely relate to ‘trying’ to find something wrong with your partner. My issue was that I used to feel very insecure and I would look for reasons to crack it with my partner even though I knew there was nothing to be concerned or upset about.</P> <P><SPAN style="font-size: inherit; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">I spoke extensively to my psychologist about it and realised that I would first feel depressed or unsettled, and then I would go looking for reasons to justify why I felt this way - leading me to look through phones, Facebook etc and pick fights with my partner. I would then blame my partner for why I felt so crap even though it really had nothing to do with him. I also had the belief that if I found a reason to break up with him first then it protected my feelings in some way.</SPAN></P> <P>Talking to a psychologist really helped me, as well as being completely honest with my partner about how I’m feeling and why I think I do certain things. I even told him I went through his phone etc. because I knew it was wrong and I wanted him to know I was trying my best to work on it.</P> <P>Don’t be afraid to express yourself to your partner and talk through why you feel a certain way, even if it seems completely irrational. It’s great that you’re aware of yourself though, I was in denial for a few months in the beginning. Sorry this is such a long winded response but hopefully you find bits of it helpful!</P> Wed, 26 Jun 2019 14:13:42 GMT Indirose 2019-06-26T14:13:42Z https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/relationship-and-family-issues/always-trying-to-kick-my-boyfriend-out/m-p/447190#M34182 I have a pattern in relationships of always trying to break up with my partner even when I don't really want to. my current boyfriend is patient with me even when I try and kick him out once a week. I think this stems from my fear of abandonment but I don't know how to stop it. I'm always trying to find something he has done wrong. I have been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, bipolar and borderline personality disorder. Wed, 26 Jun 2019 13:05:35 GMT https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/relationship-and-family-issues/always-trying-to-kick-my-boyfriend-out/m-p/447190#M34182 amberrc 2019-06-26T13:05:35Z https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/relationship-and-family-issues/always-trying-to-kick-my-boyfriend-out/m-p/447191#M34183 <P>Hi Amberrc,</P> <P>I used to do this a lot with my current partner (and probably with ones before him but I never took too much notice). I have depression and anxiety which seem to take turns in terms of ‘flare ups’.</P> <P>I can completely relate to ‘trying’ to find something wrong with your partner. My issue was that I used to feel very insecure and I would look for reasons to crack it with my partner even though I knew there was nothing to be concerned or upset about.</P> <P><SPAN style="font-size: inherit; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">I spoke extensively to my psychologist about it and realised that I would first feel depressed or unsettled, and then I would go looking for reasons to justify why I felt this way - leading me to look through phones, Facebook etc and pick fights with my partner. I would then blame my partner for why I felt so crap even though it really had nothing to do with him. I also had the belief that if I found a reason to break up with him first then it protected my feelings in some way.</SPAN></P> <P>Talking to a psychologist really helped me, as well as being completely honest with my partner about how I’m feeling and why I think I do certain things. I even told him I went through his phone etc. because I knew it was wrong and I wanted him to know I was trying my best to work on it.</P> <P>Don’t be afraid to express yourself to your partner and talk through why you feel a certain way, even if it seems completely irrational. It’s great that you’re aware of yourself though, I was in denial for a few months in the beginning. Sorry this is such a long winded response but hopefully you find bits of it helpful!</P> Wed, 26 Jun 2019 14:13:42 GMT https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/relationship-and-family-issues/always-trying-to-kick-my-boyfriend-out/m-p/447191#M34183 Indirose 2019-06-26T14:13:42Z