topic Should I change my name? in Relationship and family issues

Should I change my name?

UnknownFurby — Fri, 28 Sep 2018 07:51:17 GMT

I have my father last name but for a while I have felt disconnected from here, I live with my mother and only see him on special occasions , i am trying to reconnect with him by asking him to save up patrol money and come over and visit at lease once a month. I decided to give him 2 months to respond.So if he doesn't resond in 2 months i wanted to change my last name to my mother's, do you think this sound silly or anything??

Should I change my name?

Summer Rose — Fri, 28 Sep 2018 09:10:33 GMT

Hi UnknownFurby

Welcome to the bb forum and thank you for posing your question.

Your post is brief and I'm only guessing but this is what it tells me. Your mum and dad have recently separated. Your dad lacks the financial resources to come and visit you. You are really hurt by your father's absence from your life. You want to see more of your father. You are proposing to change your name because you are hurt or perhaps you want to hurt dad's feelings too. Have I got that right?

I wouldn't rush to change your name. It's a big step and while it might temporarily give you some kind of satisfaction, it won't solve the problem.

I think your idea of asking dad to save up petrol money is a good one. But I'm wondering how far dad has to travel to visit you and where he would stay while visiting? I ask this because maybe you could ask mum (or another family member) to help you go to visit him? Maybe you could spend the summer holidays and other school breaks at dad's place to give you a chance to build your relationship?

I'm also wondering how mum and dad now get along? I ask this because your dad's reluctance to visit may somehow be tied up in how he feels about mum and not solely be about money. If you talk to mum about how hurt you are maybe she could have a think about ways she could help the situation.

I know I've asked a lot of questions but there is no pressure to respond. I'm here if you want to keep talking.

Kind thoughts to you

Should I change my name?

geoff — Sat, 29 Sep 2018 18:37:13 GMT

Hello UnknownFurby, I agree with Summer Rose I wouldn't be rushing into this at the moment because what this means is that all your utilities, drivers license, insurance policies and anything else will need to also be changed, that's a lot of work and may cost you money.

Is it possible for the two of you to meet halfway, that maybe a suitable option.

Best wishes.

Geoff.