topic Put-down and Judgemental Language by Jehovah's Witnesses in Relationship and family issues

Put-down and Judgemental Language by Jehovah's Witnesses

IreneM — Sat, 17 Nov 2018 09:57:12 GMT

Hi everyone I am fairly new and this is my first personal post.

I have been a Jehovah's Witness (JW) for quite a few years. I ever since I was a kid was raised in a spiritual family who had a love of God and the Bible. I always had an appreciation for what the bible ways even though I may not always understand it and I love the principles and tips that it contains.

In recent times, since I received my transplanted kidney and, at one stage, lost 70% of my hair. This has made all of the other Jehovah's Witnesses (JWs) in my congregation frown upon me, talk down to me, and judge me, telling me to stop my medical treatment. They just don't seem to have any love, unlike some of the other churches that I grew up in.

I was just wondering, regardless of whether you are religious or have a love of spiritual things, have you ever experienced hurt from JWs, not so much when they come to your door, but in passing, on the street or elsewhere.

Do they boss you around? or Do they talk down to you? anything similar?

Put-down and Judgemental Language by Jehovah's Witnesses

quirkywords — Sat, 17 Nov 2018 10:43:15 GMT

IreneM

Thnaks for your thoughtful post.

i think when people have strong beliefs not matter what their religion is and someone goes against those beliefs people can get quite annoyed and angry.

I don’t think Jehovah witness are alone in this by having very strong views.

some religions do not beleve in transplants and transfusions.

it must be hard for you when the people you are hoping to support you are critical of you.

The main thing is you concentrate on getting better and avoid negative people.

Quirky

Put-down and Judgemental Language by Jehovah's Witnesses

Croix — Sat, 17 Nov 2018 13:52:00 GMT

Dear IreneM~

As a person who grew up in a very religious environment I remember clearly my parents discuss the shortcomings of others for such simple matters as not turning up to church regularly. As far as I remember there really was no effort to see why that might have been. Sadly it seems a part of human nature to be quick to judge.

I am sure as someone coming from your background you would have thought deeply about your alternatives and taken what seemed the most appropriate.

While others might not agree with your actions that should not prevent sympathy and support, and if that is not forthcoming perhaps that says more about them than anything else.

I think Quirky is quite right in suggesting that you need to concentrate on your health and try to avoid such negativity.

Croix

Put-down and Judgemental Language by Jehovah's Witnesses

therising — Sat, 17 Nov 2018 19:58:45 GMT

Hi IreneM

What a blessing, to have received such a gift (the kidney). Life is truly a precious thing.

Personally, I haven't had much experience in regard to interacting with people of the JW faith. I must say, your current experience sounds very challenging indeed. It sounds like the true challenge could be in your conflict of thoughts: 'People should support each other and show love toward each other' vs 'People do not support me and show love toward me (to a degree)'. Do not let this conflict lead you to choose the idea that you do not deserve both support and love. Of course, you do.

I was raised Catholic and although I have shifted away from the faith and more toward general spiritualism, I still value some of the teachings I received in my earlier years - the ones that promote love and support. For a community, religious or not, to support the semi-rejection or full rejection of one of its members in a time of need, this judgement remains questionable (I do not believe this is something Jesus would endorse in any way).

On more of a medical note, much research has been done over recent years in regard to healing. Experts say that healing takes place much faster and more successfully when we are surrounded by people who help promote it with positivity, laughter, love, guidance and support. When the mind, body and spirit are fed the things they truly need, they grow strong (promoting our overall well-being).

You mention the other churches you grew up in. Wondering if you feel drawn to revisit one of them, in order to find the love and support you desire at this time. If this is a consideration, perhaps you could sit in prayer whilst asking for guidance. As a member of the Christian faith, perhaps you could consider asking, within prayer 'What practice is most Christ-like, in order to feel closer to Christ and his teachings of love and support?'

IreneM, I pray for your healing and I pray that enlightening soulful guidance is sent your way, to illuminate the path ahead.

Take care

Put-down and Judgemental Language by Jehovah's Witnesses

IreneM — Sat, 17 Nov 2018 21:25:28 GMT

I agree with you that everyone is entitled to their own views and that everyone should respect everyone else's views and accept that.

But when it comes to putting their beliefs into practice Jehovah's Witnesses don't seem to have any love.

I have decided as you say to move on - I was just interested if anyone else has had similar experiences.

Put-down and Judgemental Language by Jehovah's Witnesses

IreneM — Sat, 17 Nov 2018 21:40:00 GMT

That's True Croix,

Everyone talks about each other. Jehovah's Witnesses seem to have lots of negative views and gossip behind my back which I know is false.

I'm a strong believer that actions speak louder than words and with JWs that is extremely obvious. Their actions mean that they don't have love towards those related to them in the faith.

Yes, as you will see in my story next month, I have moved on and am now a key figure in the Kidney Community. These people are going to be my new family by the looks of things, since JWs don't want anything to do with me anymore.

Put-down and Judgemental Language by Jehovah's Witnesses

IreneM — Sat, 17 Nov 2018 22:03:05 GMT

the rising

It's nice to hear from someone with spiritual interests. I don't think it matters which religion or faith you are in - as long as you have a personal relationship with your Creator (Heavenly Father - Jehovah), and receive support to keep you going in critical times that are hard to deal with. Your point on love and consideration towards me vs all talk and no do is a very good one. But no it is not one of conflict but it has forced me to choose who I associate with so that I can be accepted for who I am (which JWs do not do).

Thank you for your encouragement regarding the gift of life from Jehovah God via my deceased donor in WA. I was extremely fortunate to get a really good match. Jehovah God, our Heavenly Father values this so much - which leads to many religions believing in Jesus who paved the way for the gift of life. We will be fortunate enough to one day not worry about these things and live in the New Earth as the bible says.

IreneM

Put-down and Judgemental Language by Jehovah's Witnesses

blondguy — Sun, 25 Nov 2018 12:43:40 GMT

Hello IreneM

I echo the blessing that 'therising' mentioned above re your kidney! I am very happy for your wellness. I was brought up COE and non practicing. I do understand that the JW are not pro medical procedures...blood transfusions etc and thats okay as its their way (respectfully)

Can I mention that I have a dedicated elderly JW that knocks on my door every few weeks.....and even though I dont agree with his views I always make sure he has a drink of cold water and a quick chat after he climbs my steep driveway....and I often see him back to his car as he has difficulty walking

He has tried to lecture me on Armageddon yet after 3 decades of depression/anxiety I have zero interest in hearing about the subject. He has a sound respect for what I do here as a volunteer with Beyond Blue and we have a mutual respect for eachother even though we agree to disagree 🙂

You mentioned "This has made all of the other Jehovah's Witnesses (JWs) in my congregation frown upon me, talk down to me, and judge me, telling me to stop my medical treatment"

With all respect to your faith IreneM...I found this sad as a spiritual person. Its only my humble point of view if thats okay. You have had a great gift with your kidney transplant

My kind thoughts for you and your well being 🙂

Paul

Put-down and Judgemental Language by Jehovah's Witnesses

IreneM — Sun, 13 Jan 2019 07:49:04 GMT

Big thanks Paul.

I agree with you totally. They are very dedicated with the work of preaching the good news; but I find that that is about all that they do, which is good.

But their actions and attitudes seem to be more judgemental than loving and as a spiritual person I have to totally agree. I find this difficult too! So I just live my own quiet humble spiritual life now. Just a Christian woman who believes in and makes every effort to do what the bible says without any religious groups or churches to clash with, and a personal relationship with my Father, God and Friend.

That's all that matters in the end.

Irene.

Put-down and Judgemental Language by Jehovah's Witnesses

Croix — Sun, 13 Jan 2019 12:42:23 GMT

Dear IreneM~

I'm glad you came back and talked again, you sound a lot more settled and self-reliant now. As you rightly say it is you conduct, you have found a spiritual place, and by the sound of it you are at peace with it and no longer hear the unkind cries of others.

I hope you transplant is working well and trouble free. I also hope for their stakes those that gave you such a hard time come to see their error in doing so.

Croix

Put-down and Judgemental Language by Jehovah's Witnesses

IreneM — Thu, 28 Feb 2019 05:30:52 GMT

Thanks Croix

I didn't post this in a state of distress, I was just curious as to whether others were also hurt by religious people.

On your point of the local JWs seeing the error of their ways. I have my doubts. It will take them a very long time. This week I had a few people call in and see me. I was extremely open and blunt about how everyone is treating me, and why I have left them and it's unlikely that anything will make me go back, unless they do start to see their errors.

But I like to think that it is their loss not mine. I have several new families now, this forum being one of them. So the loss of JWs is nothing. Whenever I go to the shops or anything like that and if they are around I get this awful look from them. Which is why I still get distressed at times. My only way of coping is to move on as if they do not exist.

Irene.

Put-down and Judgemental Language by Jehovah's Witnesses

Croix — Thu, 28 Feb 2019 12:03:13 GMT

Dear IreneM~

Thank you for coming back and letting us know how you are getting on.

I think you may be right that those that were cruel are not going to change or realize they are not even living up to their own precepts - however maybe in time one or too will see what they have done.

I also think you were right not to mince words and set out what had been done plainly. If nothing else it can help reinforce your own perception of your own strength -and who knows, it might do some good with those you talk to when they reflect back at some time in the future.

I like the fact you have new families and if one of them is right here that is great - and encouraging for us too.

May I mention that sometimes we do get new members who have been in situations similar in some ways to yours, leaving or being in dispute with particular religious groups. They might benefit from your counsel.

Croix

Put-down and Judgemental Language by Jehovah's Witnesses

IreneM — Sat, 02 Mar 2019 04:49:56 GMT

Thanks Croix,

That is how I started off on these forums. I started off by encouraging others before I plucked up the courage to start to talk about any of my own issues. It was being offered Member of the Month that encouraged me to put up this post.

When you experience a problem sometimes it is good to come here and find out if others have had similar experiences. That was the theory behind this post.

Kind Regards

Irene.

Put-down and Judgemental Language by Jehovah's Witnesses

blondguy — Sat, 02 Mar 2019 11:32:03 GMT

Hi IreneM

Croix is spot on

There are many people on the forums that would benefit from your counsel

my kind thoughts and appreciation

Paul

Put-down and Judgemental Language by Jehovah's Witnesses

Schmuppy — Fri, 05 Apr 2019 13:05:10 GMT

Hi IreneM,

I found your post on Google during an (admittedly out of frustration) search for "Jehovah's Witnesses are depressing"... After reading your post, I felt the urge to join and leave you a reply.

While I'm not a JW, I have been in Bible Studies with them for quite some time new, and have been to a few of their Kingdom Hall Meetings. And I just wanted to say you are definitely not alone in your experience.

From my experience, they seem very friendly when you talk to them on the street, but after going to their meetings they come across as judgemental and their idea of love seems very superficial.

You might also find it helpful to do some outside research on the group if you haven't already. (Sorry I'm not sure if links are allowed, so I'll just write the names) There's a great website called JWfacts, as well as some great Youtube channels (Living The Second Chance, Witness For Jesus, and Simon & Maria are just a few that come to mind), or just search for "ex jw" and you'll be sure to find a lot of info that I hope you'll find helpful.

I'm so proud of you for having the courage to leave! 🙂
Continue following Jesus and the Bible and I believe you can't go wrong. ^_^

Put-down and Judgemental Language by Jehovah's Witnesses

IreneM — Sun, 07 Apr 2019 01:17:54 GMT

True Schmuppy

I found the bible studies helpful and I agree with what they believe. But do they practice it, outside the preaching work? I think not.

That is why I don't associate with them much anymore. Think it was wrong to change the name from Bible Students to JW. Because being a good student of the Bible and practicing it is what it should be about - not all of this other judgement and finding fault with everyone.

Things are much better now. My husband and I are both in agreement now, he feels hurt by what is taught at the meetings, and I feel hurt by the people's judgement. We don't attend meetings anymore, until we move on, and if we do it will just be in our home. I am a bit concerned about him because he bottles up his hurt and doesn't express it. But if I can't do anything about it I can't worry about it. My old principle only worry about what you CAN do something about - yourself.

There are many out there who consider themselves to be JWs but are not active, just attend the memorial of Jesus' death every year - so we will just join them. That is no reason to degrade our heavenly father and creator though, after all he was the one who sent Jesus in the first place to be a model for us to follow closely (1 Peter 2:21, John 13:15). We plan to go to a different memorial this year. Strangely enough April is the anniversary of when I made a dedication in my heart with God to leave JWs locally at least. Nothing has changed, they still don't care much.

I don't worry about all of those sites as many of them can be apostates, people who are against not only JW but also the bible. So we need to be careful of false prophets, etc. Jesus said that our prayers should be private. But regardless of whether people are JWs or whatever else they believe everyone will have a chance when the kingdom comes. That is the hope that the bible provides.

Irene.

Put-down and Judgemental Language by Jehovah's Witnesses

blondguy — Sun, 07 Apr 2019 12:45:17 GMT

Hi Irene

I just read your post above which has provided me with greater clarity and thankyou!

The elderly gentleman that comes to my door (that I posted about above) from the JWs is a kind and gentle soul yet he always zero's in on Armageddon...and thats okay as he believes in his faith

Since there is no such thing as a dumb question......how do I reply to him when he starts to discuss the 'end of the world'? I always get stuck when he starts on this subject

Just seeking some advice Irene

my kindest always

Paul

Put-down and Judgemental Language by Jehovah's Witnesses

geoff — Sun, 07 Apr 2019 18:56:14 GMT

Hello Irene, I found this on the rules of Jehovah Witnesses, which prevents them from enjoying any holidays (even birthdays), dating without chaperones, and even receiving life-saving blood transfusions, knocking on doors early on weekend mornings to ask if they can share the good news of the gospel'.

I was also raised as a COE but now an atheist and sorry to those who do have any religion, I mean no harm.

I used to have JWs knock on my door, told them who I was, so then they started to talk me into becoming a JW, they don't knock any more, however, one of the chaps was the owner of a car panel repair shop, a guy who I absolutely thought was terrific in how he could repair my vehicle when the back of it was totally crushed, but I was shocked.

I respect what religion people believe in, both my sons were raised as Catholics, non practising, that doesn't worry me, but I can't understand why a person who desperately needs a blood transfusion is forbidden to save their life.

The young couple who lived opposite me were JW and when I didn't know, I got no response back from them when I wished them a happy Xmas.

Paul if I can answer your question ask them 'how many birthdays will they have'.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

Put-down and Judgemental Language by Jehovah's Witnesses

IreneM — Fri, 12 Apr 2019 01:34:27 GMT

HI Paul

"End of this world." hhmmn - Interesting description as most JWs refer to it as the Last Days, which we are theoretically living in now. The idea is that the governments of the current earth will be taken over by God's Kingdom or Government, headed up by Jesus (Daniel 2:44). Armageddon in simple terms is the war between the current governments and Jesus and his government which is set up in heaven waiting for the command to take over.

Without knowing your spiritual beliefs I am not sure what more to say to you, except that the current governments are managed by Satan the Devil. The better world will come when the earth is so bad that it is obvious that nothing will make things better, that is when our Heavenly father will send his son to us again to rescue us from Satan and all of the current rulers. The bible says that "everyone who calls on the name of Jehovah (LORD in some bibles) shall be saved" (Romans 10:13).

Put-down and Judgemental Language by Jehovah's Witnesses

IreneM — Fri, 12 Apr 2019 02:01:18 GMT

HI Geoff,

I can relate to your feelings a lot. You raised several points so one point at a time.

HOLIDAYS, BIRTHDAYS, etc. Think they all enjoy holidays as much as anybody else, what they do not do is celebrate them. If you look up or google the meaning of most of these holidays you will find that they are in worship to other false gods. For example: Halloween is spiritistic which our creator hates. Christmas is all about the worship or Rebirth of the Sun - so worship of the sun (nothing to do with Jesus). Many more I could explain including Easter, which is all about the god of fertility.

Birthdays: the bible says that "the day of our death is more important than the day of being born." With Jesus, the date of his death is in the bible for us to remember and all JWs remember his death on that day based on the Lunar cycle, in line with the Jewish calendar, where each day starts at sunset. Seventh-Day Adventists are more into the Jewish calendar.

My older brother once said something about birthdays and I have to agree with him: "I don't like Birthdays, they make me feel OLD!" I have smiled and always held that principle. I always feel the same, and as someone with a mental health issue, I do not enjoy it when others try to intrude on my life with reminding me of my age, could do without it.

Giving of Gifts: Why should we receive gifts on these commercial holidays. Why not give to each other all year round? The bible says: "It is better to give than it is to receive" (Acts 20:35). We make a practice of giving stuff to others all year round, without getting anything in return. Why should this practice wait until Christmas or Birthdays? I frequently cook up stuff and preserve it to give away whenever I hear of someone in need. I regularly put aside clothing for others and lots more. In my spare time I like to make things to give away.

Just remember this Geoff, either way you will have the hope of the new earth soon. Even if the reasons for everything seems up the creek now, regardless of who tells you either these days or after Jesus is back. If you die you will still be resurrected from the grave and have a chance then, too. Bible promises all those things and more.