topic Feeling pretty confused in Relationship and family issues

Feeling pretty confused

Rjade — Sat, 03 Nov 2018 10:32:43 GMT

Hi everyone.

I decided to post on this forum because there isn’t really anyone that I can talk to that know me personally and I feel as though speaking to those who don’t know me will help me to get some things off my chest without being ignored.

Two months ago, I got engaged to a man that I love and can see myself having a future with. I’m only 21 and we’ve only been together for just over a year, but a big part of me wants our relationship to work and that’s why I said yes. However, there have been a few doubts that have been creeping up on me recently and I wanted to know if anyone has advice for me as to how I should deal with this situation.

His mother kicked us out nearly a year ago and I truly despise this woman for everything that she has done to us. I haven’t spoken to her since, and vow to keep it this way, but my partner does and acts as if nothing ever happened. As a retaliation, he decides that he wants nothing to do with my family, even though they have always been warm and welcoming to him. I really don’t want to end our relationship but his family don’t like me and that puts a huge amount of stress on me when I realise that our families can never really have a normal family life. I don’t know whether I should end it and just move on, or whether we can reach some sort of compromise.

I suffer badly from depression and anxiety and this relationship certainly increases the negative emotions I experience. I’m on medication to treat my mental illnesses, but our situation is very stressful and uncertain and makes me feel a whole lot worse.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? Sometimes I feel as though being with someone else would solve all of my problems, but I do still love him and I’m feeling really conflicted. I guess I just need advice on whether or not I should stay put, or if I’m better off moving on with somebody else, or even just taking some time out for me.

Thanks heaps.

Feeling pretty confused

jess334 — Sun, 04 Nov 2018 08:12:23 GMT

Hi Rjade,

Welcome to the forum and thanks for posting. It's a great place to chat to different people.

I have been in a similar situation. I was in love with a man and I actually moved to England to be with him. Unfortunately, even though we loved each other, it was really difficult to be in a relationship with him. There were a lot of issues and in the end I realised that I didn't want to deal with those issues for the rest of my life. He refused to work towards resolving them. Leaving him was really hard, but the love I felt did fade and we both recovered.

Now I have a partner who would do anything to support me (including putting up with my huge crazy family). He also accepts me 100% the way I am. There is no way I would accept anything less in a relationship now.

There is no down side to taking some time for yourself to work out what you want. You deserve to be happy and comfortable.

I hope my experience has helped you a bit. Please feel free to keep posting if you have the time.

Jess

Feeling pretty confused

Rjade — Fri, 09 Nov 2018 04:21:31 GMT

Hi Jess.

Thank you for replying to my post and sharing your experience with me, much appreciated.

I don’t feel so alone anymore and I think some time out for myself will help to put things in perspective. I do also believe that if this relationship wasn’t to work out that it wouldn’t be my fault and that I don’t have to feel guilty about moving on.

Thanks again for your support 🙂