https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/relationship-and-family-issues/depression-loss-of-sex-and-pregnant/m-p/358816#M24005 <P>Hi, first time poster here.</P> <P>I feel like im going to explode, any help would be greatly appreciated. </P> <P>Me and my partner love each other very much but were stuck in a badly timed crappy situaion right now which i fear is going to tear us apart if it doesnt get resolved. I have BPD and am terrible at regulating and articulating my emotions, im also 9 months pregnant due any moment now. My partner lost his dad a year ago and is very depressed. The main problem is we haven't had sex in months, which i totally understand why he isn't feeling it, him and his dad were very close. My raging hormones won't let me ignore these intense feelings no matter how hard i try to distract myself, i feel so shit about feeling this way, i just want to be there to comfort him and help him through but its been going on for so long now i feel like my body is going to be ruined after the birth so i feel like theres a time limit also. He just distracts with weed, games and scrolling through facebook. All the time. Whenever i try to talk to him about how the lack of affection in our relationship is affecting me it both comes out wrong and upsets him. So i feel i can't talk to him anymore, i just pretend im fine to create a happy atmosphere for our family but im about to break. Its all building up inside brewing some real negative feelings within me. I love him so i don't want these feelings, but as much as i try they won't leave me alone. It keeps me up at night, iv given him so many help options to try but he wont reach out. I need him more than ever, its been a terrible pregnancy with many complications and i don't want to bring our baby into this mess. The constant rejection and body changes has left me with no self-esteem and very frustrated, often thinking about doing very stupid things. Im so worried i will have no self control when the babys born and drink myself stupid, im already having these thoughts and i feel so guilty for even having them. I just want to make him happy.</P> <P>Please be gentle, im very embarrassed about this. </P> Tue, 09 Jan 2018 05:06:09 GMT Sorrowfly 2018-01-09T05:06:09Z https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/relationship-and-family-issues/depression-loss-of-sex-and-pregnant/m-p/358816#M24005 <P>Hi, first time poster here.</P> <P>I feel like im going to explode, any help would be greatly appreciated. </P> <P>Me and my partner love each other very much but were stuck in a badly timed crappy situaion right now which i fear is going to tear us apart if it doesnt get resolved. I have BPD and am terrible at regulating and articulating my emotions, im also 9 months pregnant due any moment now. My partner lost his dad a year ago and is very depressed. The main problem is we haven't had sex in months, which i totally understand why he isn't feeling it, him and his dad were very close. My raging hormones won't let me ignore these intense feelings no matter how hard i try to distract myself, i feel so shit about feeling this way, i just want to be there to comfort him and help him through but its been going on for so long now i feel like my body is going to be ruined after the birth so i feel like theres a time limit also. He just distracts with weed, games and scrolling through facebook. All the time. Whenever i try to talk to him about how the lack of affection in our relationship is affecting me it both comes out wrong and upsets him. So i feel i can't talk to him anymore, i just pretend im fine to create a happy atmosphere for our family but im about to break. Its all building up inside brewing some real negative feelings within me. I love him so i don't want these feelings, but as much as i try they won't leave me alone. It keeps me up at night, iv given him so many help options to try but he wont reach out. I need him more than ever, its been a terrible pregnancy with many complications and i don't want to bring our baby into this mess. The constant rejection and body changes has left me with no self-esteem and very frustrated, often thinking about doing very stupid things. Im so worried i will have no self control when the babys born and drink myself stupid, im already having these thoughts and i feel so guilty for even having them. I just want to make him happy.</P> <P>Please be gentle, im very embarrassed about this. </P> Tue, 09 Jan 2018 05:06:09 GMT https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/relationship-and-family-issues/depression-loss-of-sex-and-pregnant/m-p/358816#M24005 Sorrowfly 2018-01-09T05:06:09Z https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/relationship-and-family-issues/depression-loss-of-sex-and-pregnant/m-p/358817#M24006 <P>So understandable.. i had to comment just to let you know you arent crazy and the effects of feeling rejected and unwanted are so very real. </P> <P>My partner did this to me while i was pregnant.. it broke me. It made me feel sad anxious and unattractive. I tried so very hard an got no where. Until i gave up and had my baby. Then i put all my concentration into the baby and felt happy again from the distraction. Funny thing was once i dropped to my pre pregnancy weight and started wearing my old tight clothes he was all over me, pressuring me for sex whenever he could get to me. </P> <P>It made me feel even worse though, because it made me realise he really just didnt want me when i was pregnant and now maybe because others might come after me he started again. I broke up with him after it. He destroyed my confidence. </P> <P>In saying this (i know i got off topic a bit i get carried away with old feelings) my partner didnt suffer the loss like yous so im really not sure how long you are suppose to put up with that... <span class="lia-unicode-emoji" title=":confused_face:">😕</span></P> Tue, 09 Jan 2018 06:53:39 GMT https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/relationship-and-family-issues/depression-loss-of-sex-and-pregnant/m-p/358817#M24006 Michelle2000 2018-01-09T06:53:39Z