topic So so lonely 😢 feel unloved💔 in Relationship and family issues

So so lonely 😢 feel unloved💔

Guest_341 — Thu, 21 Sep 2017 13:17:24 GMT

Feeling so incredibly unloved 💔😢

I have a big issue with my self esteem.....I look attractive in the mirror but at the same time I hate what I see. ...am I really ugly or could I possibly be attractive 😔

So sorry for posting about such a minor issue 😔

Love Julie ❤

So so lonely 😢 feel unloved💔

white knight — Thu, 21 Sep 2017 13:50:02 GMT

Hi Mardi, welcome

Nothing is a "minor" issue. In fact as a little boy my large belly was my hangup. As I grew older girls never cared about it, they said my humour over rode it. But I still cant see my shoes. Lol.

Self esteem, low se, is a state of mind that can be improved on. Aging helps but who wants to wait?. Attractiveness is subjective, in the eye of the beholder.

Please google this thread

Topic: the best praise you'll ever get- beyondblue

Youtube maharaji the perfect instrument

I hope it helps. Post anytime

Tony WK

So so lonely 😢 feel unloved💔

Guest_341 — Thu, 21 Sep 2017 20:55:16 GMT

Thank you so much Tony for your reply😊😊😊😊 it means a lot to know I'm supported and welcomed. ...makes me feel a lot better 😊😊

So so lonely 😢 feel unloved💔

Jessicatherese94 — Fri, 22 Sep 2017 08:41:02 GMT

Hi Mardi, if you're going through a hard time it isn't a minor issue and don't apologise for asking for help that's what Beyond Blue is for. I really like to use positive affirmations when I'm feeling down, I literally stand in front of the mirror and say things like "I'm trying" "I'm a good person" "I feel beautiful today" and sometimes it actually makes me feel better. There is so much more in life than being "conventionally attractive". You are beautiful just for existing and being you.

So so lonely 😢 feel unloved💔

Guest_341 — Fri, 22 Sep 2017 10:49:38 GMT

Thank you 😊

So so lonely 😢 feel unloved💔

Guest_1584 — Fri, 22 Sep 2017 12:56:32 GMT

Going through primary school l spent 3 or 4 years looking at me knees in school shorts ,l thought l had fat knees , it was damn near the end of it all.

Then later on at 15 , l was in the bathroom every night for an hour or more, l thought l was growing breasts . l thought l must be the unluckiest kid on the planet, why me.

A skinny boy with fat knees and breasts , doesn't get much worse. You look just fine to me haha.

So so lonely 😢 feel unloved💔

Guest_341 — Sat, 23 Sep 2017 01:08:26 GMT

Thank you so much 😚

So so lonely 😢 feel unloved💔

Mia001 — Sat, 23 Sep 2017 01:38:45 GMT

I don't judge people on how they look. Everyone is perfect just the way they were made. It's the beauty inside that counts.

So so lonely 😢 feel unloved💔

CMF — Sat, 23 Sep 2017 05:47:11 GMT

Hi Julie,

After reading your post i decided to goolge the word 'attractive'. This is what i got;

'having qualities or features which arouse interest.'

We all have different interests and what appeals to one person may not appeal to another. Some people like blue eyes, others like brown. Some like blonde hair, others like brunette. Some like tall, others short etc, so you can see where i am going. The word 'attractive' is a very general word because it means different things to different people. When we think generally of someone being 'attractive' we think of a person who looks like a model but that person could be the nastiest person on this earth. Are they still attractive? Attractiveness is not just based on looks, sure the initial attraction is looks but it goes so much deeper.

As they say, looks will fade but a good heart will keep you beautiful forever.

I'm wondering, are you seeing a counselor re your self esteem issues? It's not uncommon to have low self esteem but you can work on it and feel good about yourself. Exercise helps too, I feel better when i go for a good walk. Sometimes just putting on a nice clothes helps me, even if i have not much planned i put something nice on and i feel better because I Made the effort.

Wishing you all the best.

cmf x

So so lonely 😢 feel unloved💔

CMF — Sat, 23 Sep 2017 05:51:49 GMT

Forgot to add, you are feeling lonely ( i get that) do you have any hobbies or have you thought of joining groups with people of similar interests ie even a book club or walking group? Finding people who like the same things helps us connect and meet people.

cmf

So so lonely 😢 feel unloved💔

Croix — Thu, 28 Sep 2017 06:35:39 GMT

Dear Julie

I've seen you around supporting Michael and others and meant to drop in and say hi, now I'm here I can you need company, and also for some reason don't like what you see in the mirror - which is realy sad. You are one of those that puts there picture here so all of us can see how wrong you are, even your smile is pretty good.

It's a pity with such things as self esteem the words of others - even true ones - can just bounce off without effect. I guess it takes more than words, perhaps repeated experience of being well regarded, perhaps for some counseling or therapy. Depression or anxiety tend to make one feel bad about oneself, it can be a real trap.

CMF has had some good suggestions, interacting with people does help. So I'll mention if you just want to talk and say what you like about books, movies, art, even TV programs you will always be welcome at:

Forums / BB Social Zone / Croix Parler

Similarly if you want to cheer yourself up - or help cheer others go to

Forums / Staying well / Store Your Happy Memories Here:

Where you can read other peoples happy memories and maybe put down one or two of you own for others to enjoy when they are down.

The reason I mention those two threads in particular is firstly I tend to be around them a fair bit and can look out for you and secondly talking about specific topics rather than just generally can sometimes be easier

Either way you will be very welcome

Croix

So so lonely 😢 feel unloved💔

Guest_341 — Thu, 28 Sep 2017 07:06:08 GMT

Hi Croix😊 your words have bought a tear to my eye 😢 knowing that someone actually notices me and that I'm not irrelevant.

Thank you for the comment about my picture, I try to smile most days but it can be hard.

I will have a look at those forums and hopefully see you there 😊

So so lonely 😢 feel unloved💔

white knight — Thu, 28 Sep 2017 07:08:54 GMT

Hi Mardi

How you doing?

Ive read some of your replies and also noticed your attempts to help others which is commendable.

Therapy is a strange word. Most people think its only sitting and talking to another person. I believe its much more. The knowledge I've obtained from this forum in helping others has been amazing. Its self help therapy. Plus the bonus of reaching out to others.

After a few hundred podts if your heart is in becoming a community champion, there is a chance of that happening. Its a great goal to have.

As for your low self esteem I can say that from a male viewpoint a bubbly humour is number one, kindness number 2, etc. Good looks is down the list.

So I hope you are ok. Hang around,you are valued

Tony WK

So so lonely 😢 feel unloved💔

Guest_341 — Thu, 28 Sep 2017 09:32:10 GMT

I have all of those qualities Tony😊

Thank you so much ❤ your reply means a lot 😊😊😊

So so lonely 😢 feel unloved💔

geoff — Thu, 28 Sep 2017 23:44:06 GMT

hello Julie, there is something that everybody who is suffering from some sort of depression feels, that they look in the mirror and who do they see, nobody, it's not you, it's another person, it's literally an image that means nothing, how can this be, well you can see straight through this reflection, it has no meaning, you don't even know who or what you are looking at, a smile means nothing, but a tear, well that's something you can actually see, and it's pulling your face down, so then you must turn away from the mirror, there's no point looking at it.
That's not how you get approval, you judge yourself too harshly, all you need is a smile from somebody else, a smile that doesn't go through but stops so you can soak it in, a blaze of glory, carry that warmth with you, don't push it away, store it in your mind, and then when someone says hello to you, store it as well, build up these affirmations, pick a flower that glows, help a snail across the footpath or pat a dog that's wagging it's tail.
When you can manage any of these then you will know that life does actually love you, that's what you have to do before we can start to love ourselves. Geoff.

So so lonely 😢 feel unloved💔

blondguy — Fri, 29 Sep 2017 10:08:57 GMT

Hey Julie

Great to see you again 🙂 I wish I could use my mobile as well as you use yours...seriously. It just takes me forever using a cell phone posting to Beyond Blue even though I am a tech head lol

Im sorry that you have feeling lonely as that is bad place to be in for sure Julie

There is nothing ugly about you in any way shape or form. You are very attractive not to mention the huge 'spark' you have when you post. You have been doing really well helping others out since we last spoke Julie 🙂 Nice1

Really nice to see you again Julie and thanks heaps too for helping others out too!

Hugs for you (if thats okay of course)

Paul

So so lonely 😢 feel unloved💔

Guest_341 — Fri, 29 Sep 2017 10:57:55 GMT

Oh wow❤❤ what a beautiful reply 😊 your words almost make me feel like.crying happy tears😚 thank you so much for making me feel good about myself. ...and the hugs are okay of course😊😊😊😊

Thank you Paul😊😊😊

So so lonely 😢 feel unloved💔

Guest_341 — Fri, 29 Sep 2017 11:01:30 GMT

Thank you Geoff for your reply😊😊

Reading your reply makes me think about myself and what I see in the mirror and how I think about myself. .. I need to love myself and not forget I matter to this world in some way 😊😔

There have been many tears recently but they have needed to be shed....

Thank you for making me feel welcome 😊😊

So so lonely 😢 feel unloved💔

blondguy — Fri, 29 Sep 2017 11:51:51 GMT

Thankyou Julie for the super kind post! You have just made my day 🙂 (and many others by being a part of what the forums represent too...Good1

I joined the forums in January 2016 after being made redundant from a senior corporate position. I didnt have any expectations as I knew that Facebook was a 'negative' place to be in for me so I signed up here. I have met so many wonderful people on the forums. They have also helped guide me through my clinic depression too.

We are all the equal on the forums Julie. Your posts have the same weight as anyone else or champions for that matter. You are an intelligent and well articulated person and a gem to have on the forums too. You have been helping others out as well 🙂

Tears are vital where recovery is concerned....as you have said. Being a guy (yes...we are slower) it took me 13 years of some serious anxiety to cry my heart out to a counselor on a second visit when having weekly visits for seven months in the 90's. He was a community health worker and had a huge interest in mental health (mine)

You are very much a part of the Beyond Blue forum family Julie

Thankyou for being here 🙂

My kindest as always

Paul

So so lonely 😢 feel unloved💔

Guest_341 — Fri, 29 Sep 2017 12:04:55 GMT

Thank you so much for your sweet and kind comments 😊😊😊if only you knew how much they mean to me😊

I want to reply properly tomorrow as you have so generouslytaken the time to reply to me😊😊

😴 my bed is calling 😄

Good night Paul

Chat tomorrow 😊🌙🌟