topic Seperation in Relationship and family issues

Seperation

Lachy21savage — Tue, 26 Dec 2017 11:39:01 GMT

So there's a person in my life who I just get super upset when I can't be around them. They live far away and are kind of like a father figure in a way. I get this feeling of hollowness and deep sadness the days after I leave their presence. recently it has gotten worse as I felt kind of physically sick e.g. Loss of appetite. I don't know whether this is just an intense love (not relationship/ sexual but a companionship way) and I that I cannot deal with the fact that I can't be around them. Has anybody had a similar experience?

Seperation

demonblaster — Tue, 26 Dec 2017 12:05:30 GMT

Hi Lachy welcome

It sounds like an intense love as you said, they sound like a good person for you to feel so strongly.

Shame you can't be closer do you see them much & are you in touch between times

Glad you have someone in your life that makes you feel so good
Do you have other people in your life that you're close to

Yeah there's some people I LOVE being around think we meet a lot of eachothers needs which is why we like people I think & vice versa

have a good night

Seperation

mcl0014 — Tue, 26 Dec 2017 12:10:04 GMT

hey there Lachy21savage,

I know what you mean, I understand the feeling, I'm dealing with a similar situation. I have a female family member of mine who I'm extremely close to and I don't get to see her very often because of distance too and other complications. when I'm without her I feel nothing, I feel like there is no point in doing anything, I pine for her because of the connection I share with her, she understands me more than I understand myself and every moment I spend with her is the most amazing time, but when I am then separated from her I feel empty and lost. and to tell you the truth I feel really depressed

I'm reaching out to you and replying to your post is because I wanted you to know your not alone and I understand the feeling, I wish I could give you a solution or some advice to help you deal with the separation but I'm still trying to figure that out myself. I don't deal well with separation, I grieve for the ones I love whether its this particular family member I'm talking about or even my partner when they are away from me and well I'm still trying to work that out too 😕

but in a sense I hope this helped you at least feel a little better in the fact that you aren't alone.

Seperation

Lachy21savage — Tue, 26 Dec 2017 21:54:07 GMT

Thank you soo much!! the relief of knowing you're not alone is so elevating. I just wish this pain would go away and I'd be back to normal. Last time this happened it took about a week for it to go away so hopefully it does soon because it's like torture as I cannot get my mind on anything else. I just reminde myself that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel but when you are depressed it is so hard to see. Thanks again for the reply 🙂

Seperation

Lachy21savage — Tue, 26 Dec 2017 21:56:49 GMT

Thank you!!! And you too! Your understanding really helps 🙂

Seperation

Doolhof — Tue, 26 Dec 2017 22:22:38 GMT

Hi Lachy21savage and mcl0014,

Welcome to you both. I would suggest you have a look at "Separation Anxiety" on Google. Have a bit of a read and consider if anything there makes sense to you. Just remember that looking at "Dr. Google" requires you to understand that not everything you read relates to you 100 per cent.

It is wonderful you have such special people in your lives whom you feel so strongly connected to. Maybe you could consider what it is about them that you admire and see how you can reflect those qualities onto others.

I believe we all have yearnings in our lives for qualities that others provide us with, I also think we need to find ways to accept ourselves and work with what we have, so the separation feelings are not so intense.

All the best with your special friendships and relationships. Have you told these people how much they mean to you? They may be "tickled pink" to know they make such a difference in your life!

Cheers from Dools

Seperation

geoff — Tue, 26 Dec 2017 22:29:08 GMT

hi Lachy21, some good replies from people above me, I just wonder as he is a father figure to you that once you leave your security disappears, someone you can fall back on for advice, someone who you can talk any issue through with. Geoff.

Seperation

Lachy21savage — Wed, 27 Dec 2017 01:34:10 GMT

Thanks for the advice, really appreciated!!

Seperation

Lachy21savage — Wed, 27 Dec 2017 01:36:55 GMT

Ahh its kinda complicated you know, manly relationship and don't normal talk about emotions but it's probably just my insecurities, I do get anxiety about the way people perceive me that's why I fined it hard to. Thank you for the reply

Seperation

Lachy21savage — Wed, 27 Dec 2017 10:34:46 GMT

The more I re-read your reply the more in common our feelings are. I just wish there was some cure to pain and nothingness it is honestly the worst experience of my life.

Seperation

mcl0014 — Wed, 27 Dec 2017 11:28:05 GMT

hey! 🙂

it really is the worst experience... I know 😕 but like you said the one thing that also keeps you going is that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, its hard but we go through certain situations to make us stronger as people, these things we experience shape us and mould us for the future. its difficult at the time, but amongst it all you just have to hold onto that hope, because without the darkness the light wouldn't be able to shine. cliché yes, but its true, and that's the one thing I have learnt through everything.

the pain can be unbearable, I know because I'm dealing with it now, being away from this person I hate it, I just want to feel connected to them all the time.

maybe we do have a lot in common in the way we feel, and just know you can reach out and reply back to me whenever you feel. because talking about it can really help ease the pain too from the separation.

maybe you should try talking to this male figure about how you feel?