topic So lonely i feel ill in Relationship and family issues

So lonely i feel ill

Caravan — Sat, 04 Nov 2017 11:35:27 GMT

Just hoping for some help i am in absolute despair. I'm completely lonely, have no family and no friends. My loneliness is literally killing me and i don't know what to do anymore. Although i tried to get out there and do things but nothing works and no one to connect with. I feel like i don't exist and nobody sees me. As a 39 year old male, making friends is becoming impossible. I'm too scared to spend the rest of my life like this...

So lonely i feel ill

Ellie05 — Sat, 04 Nov 2017 12:20:07 GMT

Hi Caravan,

I'm so sorry to hear you are feeling this way. I definitely understand what it feels like to be lonely.

I often wonder if our modern lifestyles are making us sick will how isolating they can be. It used to be that we lived, slept and worked with the same tribe of people everyday. Hunting and gathering would typically be a group effort and the meal would be shared. Nowadays you don't have to interact with a single soul to feed yourself, you can just go down to the supermarket and use the self service checkout.

It's just all to easy to become socially isolated in our world but there are things we can do in order to connect with other people. You mentioned you tried to get out there? What types of things did you do?

Are there any old friends that you can try reconnecting with? I'm not sure where you live but you could try joining a Meetup group or Men's Shed.

So lonely i feel ill

demonblaster — Sat, 04 Nov 2017 12:50:47 GMT

Dahhh just lost post

Hey Caravan welcome & good for you reaching out, you now have two people to chat to & if you're interested you could jump in other threads & be talking to others as well as your thread here & theres a few social threads too

Good idea Ellie re mens shed

Another thing i've always enjoyed is public transporting,even if you dont talk to people which mostly i do you're stil around them & amongst it which can fill voids

Do you have interests sport or hobbies maybe you could join a club or join a card playing group.i know here there's a group plays Euka dunno if you like poker i played that for while was good being round new people as i'd lost my darling partner found myself using distraction to get through grieving. Getting there

There are ways of making contact with people, another is if you contact your community centre you'll probs find more avenues there too. There are also volunteers visit people so you might be eligible too

Hope to hear back from you ☺

So lonely i feel ill

Lifesjustpassingmeby — Sat, 04 Nov 2017 22:10:43 GMT

Unfortunately I dont have any advice but I do know exactly how you feel caravan. It's a horrible feeling. I'm 33 years old I have no friends basically no family. I cry myself to sleep at night. I feel so empty. I've tried many different things to try and meet people but nothing seems to be working. Loneliness is killing me. I'm afraid that I will spend whatever time I have left here alone......

So lonely i feel ill

demonblaster — Sat, 04 Nov 2017 23:40:12 GMT

Life you too have here now as well.

Not face on but real people

That care

☺

So lonely i feel ill

Caravan — Sun, 05 Nov 2017 09:35:27 GMT

Thank you Ellie for your care. You are right the bigger the city gets the more isolating it becomes.

I've tried meetup and still go to some events but nothing works on an ongoing basis. It is just so bloody hard making friends as an adult. I've also tried volunteering but i don't get the emotional fulfilment i need and it doesnt fill the void. Everything is so quite...

Thanks for your advice, i will look into mens' shed as well...Cheers

So lonely i feel ill

Caravan — Sun, 05 Nov 2017 09:40:00 GMT

Hey demonblaster thanks very much mate for your care and advice. I've been trying hard to find social outlets and make friends and i'm just sick and tired of trying. Nothing is working. I feel like time has passed me by and I'm staring to loose my mind!

Sorry to hear about your situation and hope things get better for you.

Thanks mate and i will look into the options you recommended. Cheers!

So lonely i feel ill

Caravan — Sun, 05 Nov 2017 09:45:45 GMT

Hey Life thanks for your message and care. I am going through exactly the same thing and i'm worried it's too late and nothing will change. Very scared of what's to come! I feel so empty, lonely and sad that it's making me sick. I do hope that things get better for you...well for both of us! Cheers and pls continue to reach out for help.

So lonely i feel ill

Ellie05 — Sun, 05 Nov 2017 12:35:08 GMT

You're welcome Caravan - sending you a cyber hug. I'm betting there are a lot of people in our society who feel this way. It it difficult to make friends as an adult but not impossible. What is it you do for work? Do you ever get an opportunity to socialise or network with colleagues or others in the industry? Another good thing to do (if you haven't already) is to talk to your GP. They can refer you to a counsellor who in the very least can act as someone to talk through your worries with. I find this very helpful.

Life - welcome to the thread. Loneliness is a horrible feeling - I do hope we can provide a bit of understanding and support. Have you ever sought at counselling about this? Keep us updated on how you go.

So lonely i feel ill

demonblaster — Sun, 05 Nov 2017 21:36:46 GMT

Your welcome Caravan ☺

Good on you

Ya know as much as i get your sick of trying im wondering what do you think fair enogh hav a break for a bit but then persevere. Worth to keep at id imagine cause the alternatives not good aye

Thx for coming back & you have us here here's so its a start 😊

Take good care

So lonely i feel ill

Guest_1584 — Wed, 08 Nov 2017 10:08:22 GMT

Yeah , l'd say there's always been isolated people but this modern age has to be building it 10 fold surely. All too easy to stay home and on the pc isn't it.Lotta losing the ability to socialize normally in all that too l think.

Surprised to at someone , oligopolies can't remember who said it, but of how lonely and isolating big cities can be too.l spent a lotta yrs on my own growing up and walking the streets alone or hopping trains for something to do and even then it amazed me that l could often just be so alone.

l moved t country areas when l left later on and l'm pretty isolated in the town l'm in now again, yrs and yrs later, nother story . But wierd how l often think l miss the city yet l'd probably be far more alone down there, dunno. Smaller towns are friendly l must admit compared , sometimes that can actually be the problem but then , maybe not eh.

l'm sorry your in the sitch Caravan , just wondering , seems your probably footloose and fancy free , do ya like the city , could try a change of pace and maybe a regional town.

Anyway all the best and l hope things pick up.

So lonely i feel ill

demonblaster — Wed, 08 Nov 2017 23:35:24 GMT

Hey Random agree with what you said & also though forums & internet can be company for many that are lonely too, lot of people arent comfy out amongxt people.

Yeah very hard thing loneliness, im not usually although have lot of love & friends have been esp lost beautiful partner nearly 3yrs ago it hits hard going through grieving.

All these people 6.8 billion and so many lonely bods. Crazy isnt it.

Take care ☺

So lonely i feel ill

Lifesjustpassingmeby — Fri, 10 Nov 2017 06:57:17 GMT

Thanks Caravan. I also hope your situation changes for the better. Very scary feeling. The thought of me spending the rest of my life so alone empty so quiet worries me so much. I'm holding on to the tiniest amout of hope for a life partner! The man of my dreams just walk into my life and take all my loneliness away lol

Im trying not to give up anyway..... Hoping for the best for you 😀😀

So lonely i feel ill

Lifesjustpassingmeby — Fri, 10 Nov 2017 06:59:22 GMT

Thank you demonblaster 🙂 Sometimes being so lonley it actually feels as if I'm the only person in the world....

So lonely i feel ill

Lifesjustpassingmeby — Fri, 10 Nov 2017 07:01:18 GMT

Hi Ellie and thanks for the welcome ☺ I have tried counselling joined groups volunteer work etc no luck yet sadly 😢

So lonely i feel ill

Guest_1584 — Fri, 10 Nov 2017 11:27:04 GMT

Thanks dm and l'm sorry about things with you , and life's , caravan and everyone else.

you remind me of myself in a way life's , sorta what l need more than anything when l'm ready . l was married then later an incredible thing with someone new but it hasn't worked out .

l wonder now if l'll be lucky enough to ever have it again but it's the partner l miss.

l know a few people here , both married though , got a bro and sis also 20mins awya,get a few invites but l just don't have the interest mostly, l'm more a relationship person than friends person , for some strange reasons friends in RL just don't cut it for me. think l enjoy internet friends more, less intrusive.

So lonely i feel ill

Lifesjustpassingmeby — Fri, 10 Nov 2017 20:37:24 GMT

Hey Random. Sorry that your also in this situation. Like you a relationship is what I want most. I'd like friends but having someone to share the rest of my life with is what I really want. I was also married together he left 4 years ago now and I've been so alone ever since. I'm sure I'm going to spend whatever times left on my own. It's a daily worry 😢

So lonely i feel ill

Lifesjustpassingmeby — Fri, 10 Nov 2017 20:46:13 GMT

My ex had put me through alot of hell. I developed severe depression and anxiety spent alot of time recovering and getting life back on track and have been ready for a special someone for a while now but I'm fearing that it just won't happen. I've tried many ways to meet friends and tried the horrible online dating thing which I will never do again. I won't give Up hope life is full of surprises. I hope your lucky enough to find someone special again Random 😊

So lonely i feel ill

Guest_1584 — Fri, 10 Nov 2017 22:19:15 GMT

hey life, and god l hear ya. we separated 5yrs now, divorced 3, can't believe l made it through the first 2yrs. l tried the online thing too later about 3yr mark, made me puke, got away from it then later just accidentally met gf in the divorce forum l was in and we got together..

lt was all instant, just a crazy beautiful instant thing , l felt like ex wife did me a favor. but there was lots of complications and nearly 2yrs, no can work out sadly, everything feels hopeless now, like l had this incredible thing handed to me by the gods, a 2nd chance in life, but now it's lost. l dunno.

lt's good that you've allowed yourself this time life, so many out there aren't ready and it comes along but they're still too messed up.You've done the right thing for yourself don't worry and now when it comes a long hopefully everything is in it's right place for you eh.

the loneliness is a killer though isn't it , but l'm a weird mix, friends, l dunno, l like a little bit of casual contact but if they're around to much or start inviting too much, l feel like my world's messed with , no that l have much of a workd right now, you'd think l'd be grateful , but l dunno , just don't like too much of it.

But l do love the partner life , call me codependent haha, l don't care, it's just what l like . Still , as J was just saying in my thread , you just never know what's around the corner though life, hey. l dunno if l believe the thing where stuff happens for a reason , but yaknow , maybe if we're lucky one thing might lead to another for us eh.

all the best , hang in there , and to everyone else too.

So lonely i feel ill

Lifesjustpassingmeby — Thu, 16 Nov 2017 13:16:17 GMT

I'm sorry that didn't work out for you. I hope you get another chance at love. Everyone deserves happiness.