topic faceing home in Relationship and family issues

faceing home

kanga_brumby — Thu, 28 Sep 2017 17:56:43 GMT

The story so far I met my missus in80s lost contact then found her again by chance. I was living alone the rest of my family all over the state rarely talking to me r talking to or with me I was always left out last to find out any news only may be seeing them at Christmas had 2 great kids both disabled my health started failing in 2000 to the point where I am in a old age home surrounded by people with dementia there is talk of sending me back home I cannot walk far arthritis both knees no wheel chair my kids to young to care for me family who don’t care a banana I wish to go home but now to scared to because I will be alone I hate being alone loneliness is everything it’s cracked up to be there isn’t much worse i cannot move into a boarding house because either the owner/ manager or residents rip you off plus there full of junkies and drunks I am scared of loneliness I have been there before about 15 years in a flat by myself I am not a loner it’s the nights no one to talk to argue make up with.
This Rant was brought to you by Kanga

faceing home

geoff — Thu, 28 Sep 2017 18:32:32 GMT

hi Kanga, moving back home was your dream, rather than being in an old age home, to get away from all those people who never paid any attention to what you've said, denying you what you wanted and truly hating it so much.
Now you are at home get yourself a cat, probably better than a dog because you won't be able to walk with it, log into facebook, although some people don't like it, but why not, start talking to them on Skype, get the council cleaner to come every week, get meals on wheels, I know someone who has this and he happily talks with them all the time.
Learn a course online, whatever you want that would entail hours of work.
Order your groceries online someone will deliver them, your friend Paul will come along and mention other things and I hope others also do the same. Geoff.

faceing home

kanga_brumby — Thu, 28 Sep 2017 20:15:00 GMT

Geoff I have Skype I am on Facebook It is still the night the loneliness in here I get avoided yatta yatta Ido need out fear of being alone I am a people person I crave contact with people animals when pets need us me is a dogie person I still need to be able at night to see or know someone is close

faceing home

kanga_brumby — Thu, 28 Sep 2017 20:18:12 GMT

I do have Skype no one contacts me i try no reply I face book no joy there I prefer face to face contact

faceing home

geoff — Thu, 28 Sep 2017 20:20:39 GMT

Thanks Kanga, maybe get a dog that doesn't need any exercise, unless you have a backyard. Geoff.

faceing home

CMF — Thu, 28 Sep 2017 21:21:06 GMT

Hey Kanga,

i really like Geoff's suggestions of meals on wheels and someone cleaning because they do provide company/contact during the day. The lady who cleaned my dads house would sit and have a cuppa with him, he alwYs mDe sure he had her favourite biscuits. The nights are hard, I know. I play games on my iPad or hope there is a good movie to pass the time. I think you ,entioned once you've had issues with your local council but I think they have services where someone visits during the day and can spend time or take you out. Pretty sure my dad was offered that.

youve mentioned 2 children, I thought you had more? Sorry to hear they are both disabled. Are they the 2 with learning difficulties/autism? Where are they at the moment.

wish I could help more. You know we are here in the cafe for a chat at night.

cmf x

faceing home

White_Rose — Thu, 28 Sep 2017 21:49:21 GMT

Hello Kanga

It's sad when you are about to get what you have wanted for some time to wonder if it's really what you want. It seems to me that most of this situation is related to living where you do. I do some volunteering with people who have dementia in some form or other and who are at different stages of this illness. These people have daytime respite care from about 9:00am to 2:30 pm. They picked up from home and return the same way. They are able to talk to each other and generally socialise. I know it's not night-time but it does provide a social opportunity.

I also visit people in their homes and stay for one to two hours. Again day-time I know but if the person wants to go somewhere for a short time I can get a car from the organisation to go out. It may be that other organisations can arrange for evening visits.

You may find you would prefer to live in an aged care facility. In this case you can choose a place you would like. Some of the stories you have written sound horrendous and no doubt put you off returning to a similar place. Once home you can be an active partner looking for a suitable residence which is the only successful way of meeting your needs.

I hesitate to suggest organisations to discuss this matter as I don't know you very well. Perhaps you can talk to some of the church-based services. Other organisations also have these services. Perhaps you can spend some of your computer time researching other places to live.

Of course household services are available but I think you know about these.

So may I suggest you get on the computer and start designing the assistance you would like. In the various options from different organisations you may a combination that suits you. With NDIS you can get services from several organisations at the same time, just choose what you want. Because of the changes in the way the money pool is used organisations are very keen to be your provider so you have control over what happens.

Good luck with the research.

Mary

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Ggrand — Thu, 28 Sep 2017 22:41:49 GMT

Hi Kangaroo.

I really am sorry you are struggling at the moment. You are one awesome person.

Don't know if I can be of any help but this is what I'm doing . I have been on my own now for 4 long years.

I can relate to the part of nighttime loneliness so well. I can go days at a time without even sighting anyone I live in a really small town and in the last back street where not even cars go by through the day..

First couple of years cried myself to sleep. What I do now is i bought this mobile phone and I joined Facebook. I wasn't interested in that so I searched youtube on this phone

I searched full length movies. There is hundreds of them dating back to when tv first came out..I can pick n choose what I feel like watching.

I must admit that the last 2 months or so I have been watching and listening to motivational videos and meditation videos as suggested by these wonderful people here on bb. To try and heal my broken mind.

Also you can put apps on your phone or computer where you can play scrabble, checkers, chess etc. with anyone from around the world which also has a chat line so you can also talk while playing. ( I haven't done this for a while as too much has been happening in my life atm).

Books are another thing there are thousands of to read free. I am not a reader so this for me didn't work but if you like reading this will be good also.

I used to look at the night for all the hours in it but in actual fact it's around 6 hours to get through and if sleep comes to me quick enough well the morning arrives..

Not sure if i am of any help Kanga but I thought I would just let you know what I try to do.

Some nights yeah nothing works for me, but other nights do .

Karen.

faceing home

kanga_brumby — Sat, 30 Sep 2017 10:36:00 GMT

Still cannot shake this feeling of dread trying to climb stairs to my home afraid of falling. Now panicking over the hole deal yet I need it to get out of where I am devil and deep blue sea I still want freedom

i of mobility with out this assessment I wont get it ever. Being locked up in here is killing me spiritually and and mentally I am loosing my facilities because I am not using them in here I cannot pass on to the next generation what they need to know.to survive in this world.

Kanga

faceing home

kanga_brumby — Fri, 06 Oct 2017 02:08:45 GMT

Well that's torn it a hole new hole. On Monday Morning I have to go home to show the person me home stairs and all me with a gammy leg still.

faceing home

Elizabeth CP — Fri, 06 Oct 2017 04:07:43 GMT

Hi Kanga,

I worked as an OT. One of my roles was to take client's home from hospital to see how they managed. Often like you they were worried embarrassed about the state of the house. (one person had been in hospital for 9 mths with no family or friends to clear up for her so the place was dirty & messy but I expected that. I know the person was injured & unable to tidy up first. My colleagues also had the same non-judgemental attitude. The other issue you mentioned was fear of not coping at home. My role was to look at the problems & barriers to the person managing at home & then work out what could be put in place to help them. This home visit is not like an exam with a pass or fail it is a chance for the two of you to work together to come up with solutions to any problems. This may be in the form of equipment to enable you to be as safe & independent as possible or perhaps recommending services to help while you are learning to manage. Those home visits were an enjoyable part of my job as I often left knowing the person was happy & more confident with the plans we made. One highlight was meeting with a previous client who had lived at home successfully for several years after my visit before having further health issues & hospital treatment. On the subsequent home visit he proudly showed me the equipment & home modifications I'd ordered demonstrating how he had followed my advice & used the equipment to cope successfully with his problems.
I hope the person who goes home with you is really nice & competent & is able to provide you with advice, or recommendations for any equipment , services or minor changes to your home to enable you to live at home successfully.Good luck.

faceing home

kanga_brumby — Fri, 06 Oct 2017 04:38:48 GMT

I am not worried about the state of the house its the physical pain of walking. climbing stairs into the house having to show what I can do currently where I will need help thats what scares me

faceing home

CMF — Fri, 06 Oct 2017 06:26:06 GMT

Kanga,

hopefully the person will be understanding and will have in their mind that the point is to get you back into your home and finding solutions to enable that to happen.

faceing home

kanga_brumby — Fri, 06 Oct 2017 08:00:48 GMT

What could happen is after all this I could get the heave ho out the door and into a different area all together. Like Mildura, Woodonga, or please not Orbost not Orbost I would prefer the moon to Orbost. There is nothing in Orbost. I know where I would like to be well the area and it's own little coffee shop. If I had my way I know where I will set up my first little gathering in a public place in Melbourne. I will be the ninja None shall see me enter none shall see me go I will be hiding on there eyelashes. I have done it before can do it again Easy if you know the metered.

faceing home

Elizabeth CP — Fri, 06 Oct 2017 10:57:47 GMT

The person taking you home should understand your limitations & make allowances. Just make sure you let them know how you are going & be clear about any difficulties you are having. Good luck.