https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/relationship-and-family-issues/dating-and-depression/m-p/202185#M14067 <P>Hi Everyone, I'm new to this forum and am hoping for some advice. I've been separated for 5 years now. My husband cheated on me when I was pregnant. I stupidly remained in the marriage however he then left the day after our eldest daughter was diagnosed with autism. He also told his friends he was separating with me before telling me. </P> <P>Since separating I have suffered with depression and low self esteem - no one knows as I'm able to hide it when I'm with friends and family. I've been in a couple of brief relationships since but they usually fizzle out as I think they find me not interesting or unattractive once they get to know me. I'm at the point now where I don't believe I will ever find love because in 44 years no man has ever loved me.</P> <P> I'm absolutely lonely and need advice - has anyone ever met anyone when they are depressed (and in reality hates themselves)? Im back on tinder after not dating for a year and have a date planned for tomorrow but I'm wondering if I should just cancel it until I hopefully one day feel better about myself?</P> <P> thanks you!</P> Wed, 25 Jan 2017 11:26:15 GMT Kobi 2017-01-25T11:26:15Z https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/relationship-and-family-issues/dating-and-depression/m-p/202185#M14067 <P>Hi Everyone, I'm new to this forum and am hoping for some advice. I've been separated for 5 years now. My husband cheated on me when I was pregnant. I stupidly remained in the marriage however he then left the day after our eldest daughter was diagnosed with autism. He also told his friends he was separating with me before telling me. </P> <P>Since separating I have suffered with depression and low self esteem - no one knows as I'm able to hide it when I'm with friends and family. I've been in a couple of brief relationships since but they usually fizzle out as I think they find me not interesting or unattractive once they get to know me. I'm at the point now where I don't believe I will ever find love because in 44 years no man has ever loved me.</P> <P> I'm absolutely lonely and need advice - has anyone ever met anyone when they are depressed (and in reality hates themselves)? Im back on tinder after not dating for a year and have a date planned for tomorrow but I'm wondering if I should just cancel it until I hopefully one day feel better about myself?</P> <P> thanks you!</P> Wed, 25 Jan 2017 11:26:15 GMT https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/relationship-and-family-issues/dating-and-depression/m-p/202185#M14067 Kobi 2017-01-25T11:26:15Z https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/relationship-and-family-issues/dating-and-depression/m-p/202186#M14068 hello Kobi, don't cancel your date because you never know that he might just be the one for you.<BR /> Spouses or partners who cheat are not worth keeping in the marriage/r/ship, it will happen again without <G class="gr_ gr_20 gr-alert gr_gramm gr_run_anim Punctuation only-del replaceWithoutSep" id="20" data-gr-id="20"><G class="gr_ gr_19 gr-alert gr_gramm gr_run_anim Grammar only-ins doubleReplace replaceWithoutSep" id="19" data-gr-id="19">doubt</G>,</G> because their eyes are always wandering, so they will make contact without your knowledge and the love will dwindle away.<BR /> It's easy to hide your depression but after awhile you will only become too exhausted and sick of trying to conceal it, and eventually there will a small incident that will show someone that something is wrong and then the questions will start, asking you what is wrong.<BR /> When you meet a chap you could easily fall straight in love which will put you on cloud 9, that would be terrific for you, so your depression will be put on hold, and once you both get to know each other then you can raise the topic of how you have been feeling, and if this does happen then I would just raise the topic slowly, so that your fear of him leaving you won't happen.<BR /> Don't think too far ahead at the moment, take it day by day and let the r/ship develop so that your <G class="gr_ gr_18 gr-alert gr_spell gr_run_anim ContextualSpelling multiReplace" id="18" data-gr-id="18">self esteem</G> will be able to grow.<BR /> Remember there is always someone for everybody, but don't be disheartened, because this only means that it's another hurdle for you to overcome.<BR /> Good luck and it would be great to hear back from you. Geoff. x<BR /> <BR /> Wed, 25 Jan 2017 18:40:45 GMT https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/relationship-and-family-issues/dating-and-depression/m-p/202186#M14068 geoff 2017-01-25T18:40:45Z