topic Family therapy in Relationship and family issues

Family therapy

Sunny3 — Sun, 18 Sep 2016 07:47:11 GMT

My parents want my whole family to go to therapy due to conflicts among us which are not getting resolved. I have agreed to go however I want to take my partner with me as I am very anxious talking to people I don't know and talking about my feelings (In the past for sessions with a psychologist for just me they have attended and it made me feel at ease). My parents have refused to let them come and their only reason was 'we do not have a problem with them' and so they do not need to be there. I have explained the reason why I want them there and asked them if its because it would make them uncomfortable but they said it wasn't and that it is because we are not married yet they are not considered family and therefore cannot come. My parents have also said that they are there to support me, however as the issues are mainly related to me not feeling their support/respect for my feelings I would like my partner to attend). I am an living at home as I am in second year of TAFE and my partner (of 2 years) and I take turns sleeping at each others house so we basically live together. I'm not sure what to do as I really don't want to go without my partner's support but also feel guilty as parents are saying if I don't come without them then i don't want to sort out the problems.

Family therapy

geoff — Sun, 18 Sep 2016 18:25:52 GMT

hello Sunny, your parents must want to rectify whatever problems that have been ocurring within the family unit, but if you and your partner have been together for 2 years, then I can't see any problem at all, especially if these issues are related back to you, the only concern is whether or not they don't accept your partner and that's why they have said this.
You must be of age where you can decide what to do without your parents permission, but even though you want your partner to be there with you, are these problems just because your parents don't want you to go out with your partner, remember they can say what they want to, but the final decision comes back to you and who you date, so are your parents the problem.
You can go to counselling (with your partner) by yourself, if that's what is needed.
Hope to get a reply back. Geoff.

Family therapy

TheSteve — Sun, 18 Sep 2016 22:28:30 GMT

Hi Sunny,

Thanks for sharing. I think Geoff is right and support this view - you are an adult and you can make your own call on this. Perhaps meeting your parents half-way could be a strategy - agree to go to the first one or two sessions alone, and if it is not working or if you are being marginalized, then you bring your partner.

There is likely a way to satisfy both your needs here, think about it and play it accordingly. Do so with the understanding that ultimately you are in control. All the best.

Steve

Family therapy

Sunny3 — Tue, 20 Sep 2016 14:19:52 GMT

Thank you for your replies, I spoke to my parents again and we have come to an agreement to try the first session with my partner and then see if I am comfortable going by myself after that.

Family therapy

geoff — Tue, 20 Sep 2016 18:22:11 GMT

hi Sunny, that sounds good, and perhaps you could ask your counsellor that you feel more comfortable talking when your partner is with you, this will then get back to your parents who may allow it to continue and then suggest to your parents that that's how your counsellor feels as well. Geoff.

Family therapy

Sunny3 — Wed, 05 Oct 2016 07:36:55 GMT

that's a good idea, thank you for your advice!

Family therapy

TheSteve — Thu, 06 Oct 2016 00:26:47 GMT

How's it going Sunny? Just checking in, hope you are well.

Steve