topic I need advice please in Relationship and family issues

I need advice please

Katey_A — Mon, 07 Nov 2016 08:15:12 GMT

Hi, I believe I'm living with a narcissist. I more or less have a question because I don't know what else to do..

has anyone here ever reported their partner to the police for mental abuse? If so what was the process and what was the end result? I'm desperate.! I feel so stuck and alone it's petrifying!

I've been wanting to write here for a long time but I've been so worried he would somehow find it.. any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thankyou so much

I need advice please

blondguy — Mon, 07 Nov 2016 09:53:13 GMT

Hi Katey.A

Welcome to the forums and good you for having the strength to post!

Any emotional abuse is identical to physical abuse. There is no difference.

Emotional abuse is against the law as is physical abuse. It can actually be more damaging than physical abuse as the scarring take longer to heal than a bruise.

You dont have to live like this....alone and scared....its not on and there is no excuse for your partner behaving this way. A narcissist will emotionally abuse for the 'control' factor.

There are many supportive people on the forums that can be here for you Katey.

You are entitled as an individual to post on here without being controlled in any way. You do sound scared...can I ask you if you are getting verbal abuse (as well as emotional) ?

You should not be frightened. From your post you are very frightened, Can you get out of the house and have a break anywhere?.....a friend or relative?

Two options, Calling 000 is not a dumb idea....it may wake him up. (which is what he seems to need)

2nd option: Intervention order, yes its a pain but the police will help you process it since you are this scared for your own welfare.

Right now: please try to get out and leave....just say you need to go to the shops....and be as calm as you can be when you leave the house.

Yes Katey, there are many people that have reported their partner to the police for emotional abuse. This is a serious matter, you dont have to endure this pain (as you have described) anymore

We are here for you

my kindest thoughts for you

Paul

I need advice please

Katey_A — Mon, 07 Nov 2016 11:33:24 GMT

Thankyou Paul, it's a big step for me. I've left him over the past 2 years around 7 times, he does so much to get me back and tells me it's always my fault he acts the way he does and I have fell for it every time but this time round I started to research narcissistic personality disorder and he ticks every box, my psychologist says the same thing, . I have lost most my friends, I feel like sometimes he tries to make me think my fam hates me too so I have limited people I can talk to.. I get told on the daily that I'm fat (which I've lost 34 kilos) I'm a size 10/12 but that's fat.. I get called dumb cause of my job, I do every bit of work in the house cause apparently he shouldn't have to do it cause he pays all the bills ( he told me I can't afford to pay it or help) he gets drunk most nights and makes me pick him up past 2 most nights then keeps me up either calling me names.. I want to leave but I've been advised to do it very carefully cause he is so manipulative I'm scared he will sabotage everything I love to get me back.. (which he almost has done in the past) i have rang crime stpppers on him on his drink driving and I feel like the only other thing i can do is go to the police.. I was admitted in hospital last year trying to end my life cause I thought i wasn't worth it. I was wrongly diagnosed with depression (turns out I'm dealing with a narcissist) so the medication they gave me only made me feel sick. .. it's been the craziest 2 years and i don't want to live like this anymore. I'm just scared of the reprocussions if I do go to the cops.

I need advice please

Katey_A — Mon, 07 Nov 2016 12:36:00 GMT

Thankyou Paul. I feel very empowered already by finally speaking up. He is quite verbal aswell. I get told daily that I'm fat (I lost 34 kilos and am a size 10/12) he says when I try to join in on conversations that's it's above my pay grade, I have to be careful when I ask questions Im case it's a dumb question.. for example "how did you sleep" is a dumb question. I have lost a lot of my friends and I'm starting to lose family too. In the last 2 years I've left him around 7 times, he fights so hard for me to come back and then puts it back on me and says he acted that way cause of "my actions". I was admitted into hospital last year for attempted suicide because I felt worthless and I was medicated for depression (which I don't have) he drinks lost night and I end up picking him up from where ever at 2 or later in the morning then I have to put up with more abuse cause he is drunk. If I walk off on him and go to bed he turns all the lights on and stands over me and yells untill he gets sick of it. If I refuse to get him he threatens that he will "go home with a hot girl" .!

he tells me that I can't afford to help with the rent or anything therefor I do absolutely everything in the house. Cook, clean, look after his son,drive him around, i work full time and am a volunteer firefighter. When I get tired which is all the time he says it's cause I'm fat. I know he is a narcissist cause he ticks all the boxes and my psychologist says the same but I've been advised not to leave untill I have a plan cause it's dangerous if i leave without one. He is the king of manipulation and I'm scared he will ruin everything that I have left just cause he can.

On cup day he woke up in a bad mood and told me to not come home all day cause it's I hate you day. I sat in the fire station for 6 hours and cried.

Im at my witts end. I am petrified of the reprocussion of calling the cops.. I just wanted to see what others had experienced by doing it. Thanks again

I need advice please

Apollo_Black — Tue, 08 Nov 2016 04:30:11 GMT

Have you tried ringing these guys?

1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732): 24 hour, National Sexual Assault, Family & Domestic Violence Counselling Line