topic Daughter's worry in Relationship and family issues

Daughter's worry

topsy_ — Mon, 11 Apr 2016 10:15:05 GMT

Tomorrow my husband has a hip replacement = coping okay

My daughter has discovered a lump in her breast. She has 3 children - 11, 2 & 6mths. Her Army husband is away on pre-deployment training before being sent to Afghan in June for 7 months. They have the happiest, most loving family life.

This daughter is my "baby" (youngest of 3). She is an exceptional young woman (33yo).

This is so NOT OK!!!! My heart is breaking.

Please, I don't want to hear anything about thinking positive & then everything will be ok. I don't believe that. People don't die because they weren't positive enough about wanting to live.

Daughter's worry

Guest_5218 — Mon, 11 Apr 2016 10:47:04 GMT

Hi Lyn,

That is scary news indeed. It is natural that we instantly think the worst. However, it’s important to remember that most breast lumps are not cancer. It’s impossible to tell what they are without expert help. Your daughter needs to get herself checked by a professional, her GP in the first instance. And she should do so asap.

Her doctor will tell her what they think is causing the lump and whether there is a need for further investigation. In some cases the lump goes away by itself – many types do. If the doctor is unsure, or if you have a family history of breast problems she may be referred to a specialist. A mammogram, Ultrasound or Aspiration may be ordered to confirm whether it is a matter for concern or not.

Of course this is NOT OK Lyn. But lets hope for the best, as the likelihood is that it is not a major cause for concern. But in the event that it is, then the sooner she has it checked out and treated the better. Early diagnosis of breast cancer is so important. So in the unlikely chance that it is that, then her chances of a full recovery are greatly enhanced by early discovery.

She is going to need you Lyn, and this will be a difficult period for both of you. But just remember, the majority of breast lumps ARE NOT CANCER.

But for today and tomorrow, you need to be there for hubby first. His hip replacement tomorrow is a pretty major operation for someone with his pre existing medical conditions. So just now, he needs to be your immediate concern.

Your daughter knows you are there for her, just make sure she seeks medical advice and proper assessment asap. I'm sure she will also be concerned for her Dad. Be there for each other .........

I'm sorry you are going through all this right now Lyn, its all so unfair. I am thinking of you, your hubby and your daughter.

Sherie xx

Daughter's worry

pipsy — Mon, 11 Apr 2016 11:01:14 GMT

Hi yellownanna. Welcome to the forums. I agree it's absolutely heart wrenching when you hear of one so young with everything to live for. Has your daughter had a biopsy to determine whether she has cancer? If she has, and it has been confirmed, there is no reason not to believe she will recover. There is much that can be done for her survival and hopefully remission. I am not going to tell you to 'be positive', that's like telling someone with depression to 'snap out of it'. What I am going to say is, firstly she will have a biopsy. Whether or not the lump is benign, it will be removed. The biopsy determines the size and whereabouts the lump is. Removing the lump is day surgery, she may have to also undergo radiation/chemo, depending on the surgeons instructions. I had this a couple of years ago, the lump was found to be benign, all I've had to do is have an ultra-sound/mammogram every year for five years. My surgeon opted against the radiation. If, worse case scenario, it is found to be malignant, again, it will be removed, and sent for examination. The surgeon then sees your daughter and explains her options. There are several options he will discuss. I can understand how scared you are, but today there is so much they can do.

Lynda.

Daughter's worry

topsy_ — Mon, 11 Apr 2016 11:23:11 GMT

Thank you Sherie & Lynda,

My daughter has seen her GP & she is booked in for a mammogram on Wednesday morning. Depending on the result they will either send her for a needle biopsy or just wait & see if it goes away on its own.

Thankyou both for your reassuring words. I feel so many different swirling emotions. My daughter is in Adelaide while we are in central NSW. I wish I could be in both places at once, but I do know my place is here with my husband for now. We'll see what later brings.

I really do appreciate your replies. It does help to get the words & fears out.

Thank you again, Lyn.

Daughter's worry

Guest_5218 — Mon, 11 Apr 2016 11:47:29 GMT

Yes, I know it would be really difficult for you. She is a long way away, but she knows you are supporting her from afar. There is nothing more that you could be doing for her just now anyway, even if you were there. She would want you where you are, with your hubby.

Once she has some results from her mammogram, and once hubby is through is hip replacement tomorrow, then you can reassess where you need to be then.

It must be horrible for you, and I truly feel for you. But just know that you are already doing everything you can. The rest will come later. And that may mean helping to celebrate good news! Or in the event that the news is not so good, then it may mean you'll be needed to help take care of the kids while your daughter undergoes further treatment or investigations. Either way, with recent advances in cancer treatment and options these days, the prognosis is really very good.

Try not to worry about something that may never happen. You need to be the strong one. ( - :

Sherie xx

Daughter's worry

topsy_ — Tue, 12 Apr 2016 11:10:20 GMT

Hello all,

My daughters mammogram is tomorrow morning. Fingers crossed.

My husband & I spent 5 hours at the hospital today. Noon till 5'pm. He was gowned up, shaved & ready to go. At 5pm they sent us home. Too busy. This is the second time he's been turned away. Such is the Australian health system.

Daughter's worry

Guest_5218 — Tue, 12 Apr 2016 13:17:53 GMT

Oh no, poor hubby. How disappointing for you both. Have they given you a new date for the operation?

I have my fingers crossed for your daughters mammogram tomorrow also.

Will she have immediate results, or will she need to wait?

Sherie xx

Daughter's worry

pipsy — Tue, 12 Apr 2016 21:00:19 GMT

Hi Sherie. With regards to the mammogram/ultra-sound, yellownana's daughter will now go back to the Dr who will have a look at the x-rays. He may have already examined her, prior to the mammogram. He will then explain the next procedure, which could be to the surgeon, who will again examine the daughter. He will then make the next decision. If there is to be a biopsy, this will be determined by the surgeon. She will then return to the mammogram centre, who will perform the biopsy.

To yellownana. This must have been a terrible blow for you and hubby. There is nothing worse than being 'all dressed up and nowhere to go'. What a shame they got to that point. It's incredible they actually let it go that far. Here's hoping your daughter's results are better.

Lynda.

Unfortunately,

Daughter's worry

pipsy — Tue, 12 Apr 2016 21:06:23 GMT

Hi there to the above post. Please ignore the word unfortunately. It was down further than I thought. I meant to delete before I posted, but just didn't scroll down far enough.

Daughter's worry

Simona — Wed, 13 Apr 2016 05:00:25 GMT

I myself had abnormal results last year and had to have further investigation. It was a very scary time so I'm very understanding of your fear and anxiety in regards to your precious daughter. I had to have an ultrasound and it revealed the small pea sized lump as a cyst in one of my milk ducts. I suffered from mastitis terribly. Going back next week to see if there's been any further changes as advised.

It's a frightening time but knowledge is power. It's the not knowing that makes it so excruciatingly drawn out and scary. Once you know what your up against you can arm yourself to give it your best shot.

Daughter's worry

Guest_5218 — Wed, 13 Apr 2016 06:21:34 GMT

So very true Simona. And I hope your tests next week confirm that there is nothing to worry about as well.

Sherie xx

Daughter's worry

topsy_ — Wed, 13 Apr 2016 09:12:52 GMT

Thank you everyone for your kind words & support. My daughter had been told that at the mammogram place they might also do a biopsy today too.

The technician couldn't find the lump so she got the doctor to came in. The doctor found the lump but said it was nothing to worry about. Phew!!!!

Just to be on the safe side they are going to get a second doctor to read the mammogram before they send the results back to the GP. My daughter sees the GP at 2pm tomorrow.

I'm relieved but I'm still holding my breath a bit until after the GP visit.

Once again, thank you to everyone for your support.

Cheers, Lyn.

Daughter's worry

Guest_5218 — Wed, 13 Apr 2016 10:21:44 GMT

Thats good news Lyn. Most of these lumps are of no concern. But certainly its best to have them checked. Lets hope its all confirmed tomorrow as being no problems.

It is such a worrying time for all. We automatically think the worst dont we? Human nature I guess.

Do you have a new date for hubby's hip replacement? I cant believe they got so close, only to send him home!

Cheers to you to Lyn.

Sherie xx

Daughter's worry

topsy_ — Thu, 14 Apr 2016 09:04:34 GMT

PARTY TIME EVERYONE!!!!!

The results are all clear. Nothing to worry about. PHEW! I think she & I were both so worried. I hope her husband is able to phone tonight.

No rescheduled appointment for my husbands operation. The head theatre nurse rang yesterday to ask if we would travel to the next town if she could get him in there. My best friend lives there so we agreed. Still waiting to hear though. If we don't get in here in town next week, the week after the theatres are all closed for the week. Wouldn't you just know it!

Once again, a very big thank you to everyone for your support. I've really appreciated it.

Cheers Lyn.

Daughter's worry

pipsy — Thu, 14 Apr 2016 09:25:35 GMT

Hi Lyn. A HUGE congratulations to all. Now all you need to hear is hubby's op is going ahead as scheduled.

Again - congratulations.

Lynda.

Daughter's worry

Guest_5218 — Thu, 14 Apr 2016 10:04:13 GMT

Great news indeed Lyn.

As I said the other day, its human nature to think the worst. So its such a relief when everything is okay.

Enjoy the celebrations !!!!!!!!!!

Hope you hear soon about hubby's hip replacement. Let us know, wont you?

Sherie xx