topic Still having IL issues. in Relationship and family issues

Still having IL issues.

pipsy — Tue, 06 Oct 2015 06:32:13 GMT

My name is Pipsy. Most of you writing will no doubt remember me. My biggest problem is dealing with an insensitive husband. His parents treated me appallingly last year, to the point where I ceased all contact. He never supported me over them, is unable to. I've accepted that. The fact that he still sees them regularly makes me feel taunted. I can't talk to him about this as he simply doesn't understand. If my parents (both deceased) had treated him as bad, I'd have walked away. Whenever he contacts them (2 or 3 times a week), I feel very hurt. I do have other interests, I have a voluntary job, so I'm not home as much. I arranged to meet him for lunch the other day after work. First he agreed, 2 hours later, he reneged, saying he'd 'forgotten' he was visiting them. I've decided no more lunch dates. He says he wants to continue meeting, I feel, no dice. He seems to want to meet when it's convenient for him. I only ask once a week. If he can't even manage that, no deal. Am I cutting off my nose to spite my face. We've been married 25 years, how we managed that is a miracle. This is going to sound dreadful, but I wish they would disappear. In-laws, who needs them?

Still having IL issues.

geoff — Fri, 09 Oct 2015 01:58:18 GMT

dear Pipsy, hello how are you, and nice to be able to talk with you, although the rules forbid us to talk like we used to on a daily basis.

Yes I remember all the trials and tribulations with your husband and his parents who still dominate all of his time with, and we know that the time he was meant to go out for lunch with you, his visit to someone else was probably with his parents.

It just seems to be impossible to have any contact nor communication with him while his parents still have control over him, and I suspect even when they have gone, his skills in wanting to talk to you would be restricted, it's all about mummy and daddy.

Take pride in the work you do as I'm sure it would help so many people in the great effort you want to do, as well as helping the church. L Geoff. x

Still having IL issues.

MisterM — Fri, 09 Oct 2015 02:04:52 GMT

In laws aka Outlaws.

Still having IL issues.

pipsy — Fri, 09 Oct 2015 02:22:17 GMT

Hello, thanks for replying. I was basically 'venting' the other day. I have sort of gotten to the point where it doesn't really hurt. The other day was just another in a long list of putting me second. I thought I'd be working Monday, however I'm not. Hubby has asked if I'll join him for lunch instead. I was going to say no, then I thought, what's the use. He doesn't 'feel' like I do. He'd be disappointed, but it wouldn't affect him. I probably will go, although I did say, if I had a chance to work, I would (here's hoping). If I stay home, I've lost a chance to spend some time with him. Cutting off my nose to spite my face. His company is better than no company, I suppose.

MisterM's right, in-laws aka outlaws.