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    <title>topic When Her Family Lies Too in Relationship and family issues</title>
    <link>https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/relationship-and-family-issues/when-her-family-lies-too/m-p/142268#M10278</link>
    <description>&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px;"&gt; &lt;/SPAN&gt;
&lt;P style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"&gt;&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px;"&gt;Hi there LMG&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px;"&gt; &lt;/SPAN&gt;
&lt;P style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"&gt;&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px;"&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px;"&gt; &lt;/SPAN&gt;
&lt;P style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"&gt;&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px;"&gt;This situation is a tough one for you.&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px;"&gt; &lt;/SPAN&gt;
&lt;P style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"&gt;&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px;"&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px;"&gt; &lt;/SPAN&gt;
&lt;P style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"&gt;&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px;"&gt;&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-size: 16px;"&gt;But I think the biggest underlying stressor that you have at the moment is how to arrange things in the very near future (ie:&lt;/SPAN&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-size: 16px;"&gt;very near meaning hopefully as of tomorrow and beyond) for appropriate access to your daughters.&lt;/SPAN&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-size: 16px;"&gt;This is the most paramount thing that I can see.&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px;"&gt; &lt;/SPAN&gt;
&lt;P style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"&gt;&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px;"&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px;"&gt; &lt;/SPAN&gt;
&lt;P style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"&gt;&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px;"&gt;I think the fact that your separated wife is with another bloke, yes, that would be bloody tough to come to terms with, but this seems to be the situation and she (and he) are the only ones who are going to change anything in that regard.&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px;"&gt; &lt;/SPAN&gt;
&lt;P style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"&gt;&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px;"&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px;"&gt; &lt;/SPAN&gt;
&lt;P style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"&gt;&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px;"&gt;&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-size: 16px;"&gt;With regard to the ‘out-laws’, I would be doing all in my power to cut off ties with them and the term blood is thicker than water IS true for most families – but it’s not always the case, and I’ve got living proof of a blood relative that screws that terminology over, BIG time – but that’s not overly relevant in this context.&lt;/SPAN&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-size: 16px;"&gt;In fact he’s not overly relevant in any context -&lt;/SPAN&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-size: 16px;"&gt;oh Neil, very catty!&lt;/SPAN&gt;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-size: 16px;"&gt;Sorry, I’ve digressed.&lt;/SPAN&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-size: 16px;"&gt;Now, where were we?&lt;/SPAN&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-size: 16px;"&gt;Oh yeah … I’m back now.&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px;"&gt; &lt;/SPAN&gt;
&lt;P style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"&gt;&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px;"&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px;"&gt; &lt;/SPAN&gt;
&lt;P style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"&gt;&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px;"&gt;&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-size: 16px;"&gt;Cut them out of your contacts and your life – cause from what you’ve mentioned, they’re going to stick strong to “their” daughter and for you to continue down the path you’re going is only going to further separate whatever relationship you originally had with them.&lt;/SPAN&gt;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-size: 16px;"&gt;Leave them to find out on their own – and that’s IF they do, and if they don’t, then they don’t.&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px;"&gt; &lt;/SPAN&gt;
&lt;P style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"&gt;&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px;"&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px;"&gt; &lt;/SPAN&gt;
&lt;P style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"&gt;&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px;"&gt;&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-size: 16px;"&gt;As I mentioned earlier, the massively important thing here is:&lt;/SPAN&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-size: 16px;"&gt;I’d be doing everything and more to have as much contact with your girls – and finding out options that are available to you to seek this out.&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px;"&gt; &lt;/SPAN&gt;
&lt;P style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"&gt;&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px;"&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px;"&gt; &lt;/SPAN&gt;
&lt;P style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"&gt;&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px;"&gt;Kind regards&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px;"&gt; &lt;/SPAN&gt;
&lt;P style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"&gt;&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px;"&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px;"&gt; &lt;/SPAN&gt;
&lt;P style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"&gt;&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px;"&gt;Neil&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px;"&gt; &lt;/SPAN&gt;</description>
    <pubDate>Wed, 27 May 2015 22:21:24 GMT</pubDate>
    <dc:creator>Neil_1</dc:creator>
    <dc:date>2015-05-27T22:21:24Z</dc:date>
    <item>
      <title>When Her Family Lies Too</title>
      <link>https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/relationship-and-family-issues/when-her-family-lies-too/m-p/142264#M10274</link>
      <description>&lt;P&gt;Im finding my seperated wifes family lying. I know that blood is thicker than water, but they could atleast admit it and just say we stand by her no matter what she has done.&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P&gt;It really has hurt me cause I have put them first in a lot of situations in our married life.&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P&gt;I have asked them to prove me wrong with the information that she started an affair whilst married to me, but they say the social media accounts where I get this information from were hacked???&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P&gt;They say the police are investigating, but I havent heard anything since.....&lt;/P&gt;</description>
      <pubDate>Wed, 27 May 2015 00:28:41 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/relationship-and-family-issues/when-her-family-lies-too/m-p/142264#M10274</guid>
      <dc:creator>wanted_a_simple_life</dc:creator>
      <dc:date>2015-05-27T00:28:41Z</dc:date>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>When Her Family Lies Too</title>
      <link>https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/relationship-and-family-issues/when-her-family-lies-too/m-p/142265#M10275</link>
      <description>&lt;P&gt;hi lovemygirls,&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P&gt;I'm at a loss to think how we can help you here. It does not seem clear to me that you are suffering any form of mental illness or such.&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P&gt;Good luck but perhaps a mediator is your answer.&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P&gt;Tony WK&lt;/P&gt;</description>
      <pubDate>Wed, 27 May 2015 10:17:00 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/relationship-and-family-issues/when-her-family-lies-too/m-p/142265#M10275</guid>
      <dc:creator>white knight</dc:creator>
      <dc:date>2015-05-27T10:17:00Z</dc:date>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>When Her Family Lies Too</title>
      <link>https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/relationship-and-family-issues/when-her-family-lies-too/m-p/142266#M10276</link>
      <description>Why would police investigate a claim of an extramarital affair? &amp;nbsp;Is it tied up to a crime?&lt;BR /&gt;
&lt;BR /&gt;
If the entirety of the issue is "she might have had an affair", then I don't know what your interest is in investigating it. &amp;nbsp;If your interest is in getting back together with her (and she wants to get back together with you as well), then surely it just boils down to "Ask her; and you either trust what she says, or you don't". &amp;nbsp;If you're not going to get back together, why does it matter at all who she is or was romantically involved with? &amp;nbsp;What's it going to affect?</description>
      <pubDate>Wed, 27 May 2015 15:21:54 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/relationship-and-family-issues/when-her-family-lies-too/m-p/142266#M10276</guid>
      <dc:creator>Vegetarian Marshmallow</dc:creator>
      <dc:date>2015-05-27T15:21:54Z</dc:date>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>When Her Family Lies Too</title>
      <link>https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/relationship-and-family-issues/when-her-family-lies-too/m-p/142267#M10277</link>
      <description>I think the case hear is LMG is angry and hurt with thus situation. As harsh as it sounds, but I went through similar, is once you start to let go of the anger, you can begin to move on with your life and you do have to move on. You cannot change anything and the okd adage of time will heal becomes a reality with this.&amp;nbsp;</description>
      <pubDate>Wed, 27 May 2015 15:47:03 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/relationship-and-family-issues/when-her-family-lies-too/m-p/142267#M10277</guid>
      <dc:creator>Indra</dc:creator>
      <dc:date>2015-05-27T15:47:03Z</dc:date>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>When Her Family Lies Too</title>
      <link>https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/relationship-and-family-issues/when-her-family-lies-too/m-p/142268#M10278</link>
      <description>&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px;"&gt; &lt;/SPAN&gt;
&lt;P style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"&gt;&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px;"&gt;Hi there LMG&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px;"&gt; &lt;/SPAN&gt;
&lt;P style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"&gt;&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px;"&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px;"&gt; &lt;/SPAN&gt;
&lt;P style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"&gt;&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px;"&gt;This situation is a tough one for you.&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px;"&gt; &lt;/SPAN&gt;
&lt;P style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"&gt;&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px;"&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px;"&gt; &lt;/SPAN&gt;
&lt;P style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"&gt;&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px;"&gt;&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-size: 16px;"&gt;But I think the biggest underlying stressor that you have at the moment is how to arrange things in the very near future (ie:&lt;/SPAN&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-size: 16px;"&gt;very near meaning hopefully as of tomorrow and beyond) for appropriate access to your daughters.&lt;/SPAN&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-size: 16px;"&gt;This is the most paramount thing that I can see.&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px;"&gt; &lt;/SPAN&gt;
&lt;P style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"&gt;&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px;"&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px;"&gt; &lt;/SPAN&gt;
&lt;P style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"&gt;&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px;"&gt;I think the fact that your separated wife is with another bloke, yes, that would be bloody tough to come to terms with, but this seems to be the situation and she (and he) are the only ones who are going to change anything in that regard.&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px;"&gt; &lt;/SPAN&gt;
&lt;P style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"&gt;&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px;"&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px;"&gt; &lt;/SPAN&gt;
&lt;P style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"&gt;&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px;"&gt;&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-size: 16px;"&gt;With regard to the ‘out-laws’, I would be doing all in my power to cut off ties with them and the term blood is thicker than water IS true for most families – but it’s not always the case, and I’ve got living proof of a blood relative that screws that terminology over, BIG time – but that’s not overly relevant in this context.&lt;/SPAN&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-size: 16px;"&gt;In fact he’s not overly relevant in any context -&lt;/SPAN&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-size: 16px;"&gt;oh Neil, very catty!&lt;/SPAN&gt;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-size: 16px;"&gt;Sorry, I’ve digressed.&lt;/SPAN&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-size: 16px;"&gt;Now, where were we?&lt;/SPAN&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-size: 16px;"&gt;Oh yeah … I’m back now.&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px;"&gt; &lt;/SPAN&gt;
&lt;P style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"&gt;&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px;"&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px;"&gt; &lt;/SPAN&gt;
&lt;P style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"&gt;&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px;"&gt;&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-size: 16px;"&gt;Cut them out of your contacts and your life – cause from what you’ve mentioned, they’re going to stick strong to “their” daughter and for you to continue down the path you’re going is only going to further separate whatever relationship you originally had with them.&lt;/SPAN&gt;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-size: 16px;"&gt;Leave them to find out on their own – and that’s IF they do, and if they don’t, then they don’t.&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px;"&gt; &lt;/SPAN&gt;
&lt;P style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"&gt;&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px;"&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px;"&gt; &lt;/SPAN&gt;
&lt;P style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"&gt;&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px;"&gt;&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-size: 16px;"&gt;As I mentioned earlier, the massively important thing here is:&lt;/SPAN&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-size: 16px;"&gt;I’d be doing everything and more to have as much contact with your girls – and finding out options that are available to you to seek this out.&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px;"&gt; &lt;/SPAN&gt;
&lt;P style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"&gt;&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px;"&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px;"&gt; &lt;/SPAN&gt;
&lt;P style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"&gt;&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px;"&gt;Kind regards&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px;"&gt; &lt;/SPAN&gt;
&lt;P style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"&gt;&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px;"&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px;"&gt; &lt;/SPAN&gt;
&lt;P style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"&gt;&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px;"&gt;Neil&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;SPAN style="color: #000000; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px;"&gt; &lt;/SPAN&gt;</description>
      <pubDate>Wed, 27 May 2015 22:21:24 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/relationship-and-family-issues/when-her-family-lies-too/m-p/142268#M10278</guid>
      <dc:creator>Neil_1</dc:creator>
      <dc:date>2015-05-27T22:21:24Z</dc:date>
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