topic Finally taking a step but I’m scared in Treatments, health professionals and therapies

Finally taking a step but I’m scared

H-c — Wed, 27 Apr 2022 14:32:19 GMT

So long story short I’m going to the gp to talk about my mental health and I’m so scared. In a way a part of me feels relieved that I’m getting help but a big part of me don’t want to go. So many what if’s and so many things that could go wrong. Another thing is there will be someone that’s going to be right there during the appointment so I can’t really say I want to. What if I finally get help and i get told there are a ton of things wrong with me.(I’m not making sense but what I’m trying to say is what if i already know somewhere deep inside me I need help for ONE thing but after talking to the doctor I get told there are multiple things wrong with me?). To be honest I’m split, I don’t wanna go but i know I need to.

What if I feel even more worse after the appointment?

I don’t know what to do.. I’ve already had bad past experience with my previous gp, and I’m really scared it’s going to be a repeat of that whole experience. Them telling me that there’s nothing physically wrong with me and I should just “relax and exercise”

Finally taking a step but I’m scared

geoff — Wed, 27 Apr 2022 15:29:40 GMT

Hello H-c, seeing your doctor can at times be quite daunting and this may still happen if you've been seeing them for a long time, but rather than trying to explain to them what's troubling you, is for you to write down on some paper what does concern you.If you can do this in point form, rather than a letter, it's much easier for them to read the points, whereas in a letter they could get lost with the main reasons why you're there.

Your doctor is to offer solutions in helping you, whether it's by suggesting medication, putting you on a mental health plan and referring you to see a psychologist, it's their job to look after you and to be a solid backstop where you can always contact them.

To relax and exercise may sound to be perfect, unfortunately, for people struggling this may not be possible, only when you start to open up, then this may be possible.

Doctors have an instinct to know how people are feeling and will gage by how you respond to any questions, they are there to help you.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

Finally taking a step but I’m scared

Croix — Wed, 27 Apr 2022 23:30:21 GMT

Dear H-c~

While it good to see you here once more also I'm sorry as it means that things have not improved.

I guess all though your previous posts one thing stands out, that people have not understood how you feel and have basically missed the point, fobbing you off with trivial answers that don't help.When one has suicidal thoughts that simply makes things worse.

At one stage you were going to write a "goodby letter", and that is a pretty fair indication to anyone with any sense that things are bad.

So why not write a note to your doctor? Geoff mentioned doing this and I have done exactly that. The good thing is that you have plenty of time beforehand to get down things as they exactly are, and in the consultation you do not have to explain from scratch by talking -just hand over the note. I found I just had to answer questions where the doctor needed a bit more detail.

I did use point form as otherwise it was too long and muddled.

I was taken seriously and found the whole process a lot easier.

When you write a note put down all the hard, frightening or embarrassing bits. I found that takes a fair bit of courage, but without them all the effort will be wasted and you will be no further forward. The other plus I found is that when I handed the note over was too late to chicken out :{

From your posts in 2020 I'd guess you are well over the age where you can say you want to talk to the doctor privately, again a hard thing to do as it might upset the person with you, but if it allows you to speak more freely it can be worth it. They can always go with you and then sit in the waiting room.

Many people, me included, either find they can't speak clearly in to a doctor, or try to minimize what is wrong. Either way you can end up not giving the right information, and without that any treatment will be based on the wrong thing.

After feeling so bad for too long I was desperate and any effort became worthwhile.

I'd like you to be in the good place I'm at now

What do you think?

Croix

Finally taking a step but I’m scared

Petal22 — Thu, 28 Apr 2022 12:58:35 GMT

Hi H-c,

Just take it one step at a time.

Do you have to have the person who's going with you in the appointment with you? I think that if you can talk more freely with out the person in the room then go in to see the doctor yourself.

Be as honest as you can with your gp so they can help you and get a full understanding of how you are feeling.

Try not to overthink things.

Geoff and Croix have given you great advice to write the doctor a note.

Finally taking a step but I’m scared

geoff — Thu, 28 Apr 2022 14:14:50 GMT

Hello H-c, Croix and Petal have also agreed on writing points down, but can I please suggest, that those very difficult concerns that are troubling you, not to be avoided, simply because by mentioning these items could be the catalyst in helping you get to first base, in other words, these points could be causing most of your problems.

Please take care.

Geoff.

Finally taking a step but I’m scared

Beeee — Fri, 29 Apr 2022 02:56:57 GMT

Hello H-c,

You're taking a big step and I think it's normal to be scared. I myself put off seeing my GP about my mental health for years because I was worried what they were going to say. In the end, nothing turned out as badly as I thought it would. Your GP is there to help and support you. Further, once you begin seeing a psychologist, it's really up to you to guide the sessions and work on what you feel like is affecting you. Perhaps at the start of your first session you could even ask not to put a label on things, but work more generally towards better mental health.

Hoping your appointment goes well.

Beeee

Finally taking a step but I’m scared

H-c — Wed, 04 May 2022 06:37:02 GMT

Update:
I went to the appointment and from the start everything was a mess. What I feared most happened. Now I’m getting referred to a psychologist for a condition related to ocd. From the start someone from the center messed up my account or something and then my go couldn’t find my previous records anymore… now I’m really stressed and I don’t know what to do? I used to go to the same center for my headaches and everything but now it has disappeared apparently. What should I do

Finally taking a step but I’m scared

That Other Guy — Wed, 04 May 2022 07:00:04 GMT

I'm sorry they made some sort of mistake but I am sure they can get to the bottom of it, and have your best interests at heart.

Finally taking a step but I’m scared

Croix — Wed, 04 May 2022 09:02:15 GMT

Dear H-c~

It sounds like you had a pretty grim time of it. There is no excuse for misplacing you records as they give a more complete picture of what has happened in the past, otherwise things have to start again -sigh. This is extra bad becuse you were very worried about going in the first place.

I do know that my own pharmacy keeps computer records of my prescriptions they have filled, do you think you might get some sort of record that way, even if it just the medication details, dates and the prescribing doctor's name? Might be some help to show the current GP and new psych what happened before.

With that tentative diagnosis of an OCD related issue, what do you think about it? is it something that might be on the right track?

Please let us know how you get on

Croix

Finally taking a step but I’m scared

Banksy92 — Wed, 04 May 2022 09:10:40 GMT

Hi H-c

If you're really not happy with the outcome of your appointment or referral, why don't you get a second opinion at another GP clinic? Tell them you want to start fresh and just see what they think without looking at your history. Cant hurt?

Just a thought, hope you're doing okay.

Finally taking a step but I’m scared

H-c — Wed, 04 May 2022 09:45:22 GMT

Hi Banksy92,

that’s the thing it’s not that I’m not happy with the outcome I’m just really annoyed that they lost the history. Now I have to start and explain everything again from my migraines to everything all over again just cause they can’t find my name in their database anymore.

Finally taking a step but I’m scared

H-c — Wed, 04 May 2022 09:49:45 GMT

Hi Croix,
When the gp showed me the symptoms it sounds right I guess I just didn’t want to face the reality of me having to need a psychologist.
i just don’t know what to do or say during the psychologist appointment and all that.

Finally taking a step but I’m scared

smallwolf — Wed, 04 May 2022 12:11:03 GMT

I can imagine this all sounds terrifying for you.

And not knowing how things might go with a psychologist. In this area I hope you will lucky like I have been. The first session will be a intake session and you will be asked questions. And you can only answer these as best you can and that is all you can do. Once you get past that session, what happens is between you and psychologist. A big part of this is building rapport with you. And everything that is said in that space is confidential.

Lastly, rather than just relaxing and doing some exercise, in taking with a psychologist you will hopefully find ways of to relax and other tools and strategies to help deal with whatever challenges we might be facing. And I think that is OK... because you are worth it.

Finally taking a step but I’m scared

geoff — Wed, 04 May 2022 15:37:29 GMT

Hello H-c, this must be disappointing for you being the patient, but perhaps a summary has been put on a computer and if so, then someone should be able to recover it, hope so for your benefit.

Geoff.

Finally taking a step but I’m scared

Croix — Sat, 07 May 2022 13:31:12 GMT

Dear H-c~

If the diagnosis seems on the right track, at least for now, that is a plus as the treatment may well be exactly what is needed.

I can appreciate your self-insight about not wanting to see a psych, however in my case it was as much a feeling "that's not me" as it was apprehension over what I might face in the sessions.

Smallwolf has given you an idea of what may happen and it's not as bad as one might think. I guess you have already done the hardest part by talking frankly with your GP.

We would like to know how you get on.

Croix

Finally taking a step but I’m scared

therising — Sat, 07 May 2022 22:03:04 GMT

Hi H-c

First have to say you're a legend for managing trying to make a difference. It's not always easy to do, step foot on a new path toward a difference. A crystal ball would be helpful, then we'd know exactly what we need to do and not do. Unfortunately, it can be about 'winging it' as we go along.

Internal dialogue can be a little frustrating and soul destroying at times, that's for sure. Might sound strange but I try to keep an eye on where my dialogue's coming from. By the way, and this is relevant, read a brilliant book some time ago by Jamie Catto called 'Insanely gifted - Turn your demons into creative rocket fuel'. The book's basically about identifying which part of you you're channeling at any given time. Your doctor's appointment has suddenly inspired my intolerant sense of self to come to life. Sounds like it was incredibly frustrating and somewhat disappointing. That was poorly managed in my opinion and you should have received their deepest apology for the inconvenience. Hope you did.

I've found, when my sad and desperate sense of self has gone looking sadly and desperately for help and is met with the kind of 'help' that's borderline depressing, it can lead me to feel quite down. When my intolerant sense of self has gone for help, she will not tolerate anything less than helpful. Anything less than helpful is actually angering in some cases.

When you initially posted, I wondered what 2 aspects you were managing at the same time. To be in 2 minds can feel like quite a battle. Perhaps it was the sage in you saying 'This is the right thing to do' vs some other part of you which was dictating 'Things are going to go wrong?'. That 2nd aspect, was it the pessimist or the seer (based on what happened)? Who knows.

I've found my intolerant sense of self is the part that comes to life when boundaries are needed, when no one appears to be stepping up to help, when people's behaviour is highly questionable and so on. If you were to channel this aspect of yourself, what do you think they'd say? Maybe 'Let's not waste too much of my time going over the whole of my history. Let's just focus on what's relevant here'. They might even say, if bold enough, 'Stop wasting my time. There was enough of it wasted in the waiting room'.

I think that over time, from when we're quite young, we're led to suppress our intolerant sense of self. You know that self that may have had tantrums based on what's not fair, the self that used to demand a fair outcome.

Finally taking a step but I’m scared

BK13 — Thu, 19 May 2022 11:45:07 GMT

Hi h-c,

how frustrating that after you got up your courage to go to your appointment, there was a bungle with your record and you had to start from square one. This type of thing is not ok and I hope they can locate your records eventually. I just wanted to check, did you know you can look up 3 years worth of history with Medicare claims online? If you go to your MyGov, then to Medicare (presuming you’ve already got it linked, if not then you will have to complete that step). Then under ‘quick links’ you can look at ‘Claims History’. This will prove to them without a doubt who you saw and what dates. With this info, I truly hope your info is found.

Talking to a mental health professional is daunting, it’s hard to know what to expect and it’s outside of most peoples comfort zones. Please take some comfort in the fact that the first visit is predominantly them asking broad ‘get to know you’ type questions. Where you grew up, how many siblings you have, if you have any pets etc. The psych will also tell you about themselves. Just answer the questions as best you can, and use this meeting to help gauge if you might ‘gel’ with this psych. I feel like if you just approach the session as ‘this is just an intro session, no pressure to commit’ then you will feel more confident and relaxed going in there. We put way too much pressure on ourselves! Cut yourself some slack and know that you’re doing a great thing just having this chat with the psych.

in regards to the other person being in your appointments, perhaps you can contact the practice prior to your appointment, and ask if they could discretely ask for you to come alone into the room, or perhaps at least part of the session the doctor could ask the other party to wait outside?

look forward to hearing how you go. Stay safe.