topic Re: Psychologists - Expectation vs Reality in Treatments, health professionals and therapies

Psychologists - Expectation vs Reality

Nate_Late — Tue, 28 Mar 2023 01:19:38 GMT

HI, I have been seeing a Psychologist now for 6 visits on my MHCP and i feel like its just not hitting home like I expected. After my 2nd suicide attempt it was time to take all this seriously and get the help but I'm not sure I'm getting it and I'm wondering if my expectations are not in line with reality. he focuses on Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) but it really feels like a life coach session. we haven't spoken about or dealt with why I may turn to self harm or any other "Hard" subject. I mean I kind of expected the cliché questions about my relationship with my parents, or anything about my childhood but nothing even close to that has come up. it all seems really high level and almost a cookie cutter textbook approach. I have mentioned things to him but there hasn't been a course correction at all.

so with my limited experience with Psychologists are my expectations of what a session or the process should be out of touch with reality? or is this just standard?

Re: Psychologists - Expectation vs Reality

james1 — Tue, 28 Mar 2023 03:13:20 GMT

Hello Nate_Late,

Thanks for your question. It's such a valuable one to ask because I think a lot of people have similar issues where they don't feel like they are getting what they want or need from a psychologist, but also don't know if they should be expecting more.

I think a good rule of thumb is to remember that, even though each psychologist has their own particular skill sets and ways of working with us, the psychologist is there for your needs. While there are times when we actually don't know what we need in terms of treatment/therapy, I think the minimum we should expect is that the psychologist should be able to explain why they are doing something.

It sounds like you've already started to challenge the therapy so far but not seen any changes - I think it's well within expectation that you can continue to challenge that directly if you don't think this is helping. Your psychologist might change it up as a result, or give some explanation as to why they think this is best. It'll then be your choice as to whether you want to continue with this person, or see someone else.

I stopped seeing my first psychologist because I didn't like the approach, and never felt confident that they were going to be able to serve my needs. It's possible the approach would've helped eventually, but they never convinced me, so I left and don't regret it.

I hope that gives a little more context for you to consider your own path with this psychologist. Happy to chat more if I've missed the point a bit, or if you have any other questions.

James

Re: Psychologists - Expectation vs Reality

bit-lost — Tue, 28 Mar 2023 09:14:57 GMT

Thank you for sharing and I am hoping I can provide some prompting questions that help. I know how you are feeling and out of the 4 psychologists I have seen, only 2 were actually beneficial and 'clicked' with me. Seeing a new psychologist is scary and to me it almost felt like starting all over again. It was not a fun process...but for me, it paid off. Hoping some of this will help:

- Do you feel like they are missing some important things, that seem significant to you, but is this actually part of a bigger strategy on their part and what they are focussing on/recommending is more beneficial at this point in time?

- Do you feel like what they are going over and the strategies they are giving you are helping to any extent at all?

- Do you feel like they are understanding you? Do you feel like they understand what is important to you?

- Do you click on a moral/beliefs/personality/relatability level?

- Have you given them a fair go? (This is personal, some people may know if they have clicked with someone after 2 sessions and others take 10 sessions to get to a level that actually begins helping them).

Do not be afraid to go to another psychologist but also consider the reasons why you feel like your current psychologist is not helping. Can this be rectified? Can you bring it up with them and give them a chance to take a different approach? Will a different psychologist suit you better? Only you can weigh up these things. I know it is scary and confusing and horrible, but you know your situation best. Always here if you have anything you'd like to add or any further questions about my therapy/psychologist/psychiatrist journey! But on an end note, I would not be the person I am today without therapy and I am so glad I took the plunge and stuck with it!

Re: Psychologists - Expectation vs Reality

Lumpi — Tue, 28 Mar 2023 11:52:00 GMT

Having a similar issue, seen a psychologist 4 times and taken anti depressants but don’t feel it’s the right direction. Been in the auto trade all my life and I can tell when a machine is broken and can fix, I know I’m broken but no idea how/what/where to turn….

Re: Psychologists - Expectation vs Reality

jaz28 — Tue, 28 Mar 2023 20:18:20 GMT

Hi there,

I am sorry this is happening and you feel like you aren't getting the most out of therapy, that must be disappointing! You are very strong, I admire you for that.

Part of our healthcare (and a sad realization) is that we often have to advocate for ourselves. Have you tried asking your psychologist why he has not addressed these issues? Or asking if you can dive a bit deeper into them? His job is to help you discuss the concerns in your life, and get to the bottom of the issue. If you think more information about your history will help, make sure you share this.

However, as James said, sometimes a health professional might not provide you with the best outcome, and that's okay. Different psychologists have different approaches, so it might be worth trying another one and getting a second opinion to see if there is a better treatment approach better for your needs 🙂

Maybe you can go back to your GP and see if they amend your next MHCP to reflect this?

I hope things improve soon,

Jaz xx

Re: Psychologists - Expectation vs Reality

Nate_Late — Wed, 29 Mar 2023 06:05:28 GMT

Hi, Thanks for the reply, i have challenged but not definitely not pushed the point and where I'm at i don't think i currently have it in me. his approach seems fine and i think over time it will probably make me a better man and a well rounded contributing member of society but the timeline seems exhausting right now. after 2 attempts in less than 6 months i don't need a quick fix (it would be nice though) though i think i need at very least support/guidance/tools at a tactical level rather then a long term strategic plan for my well being.

Re: Psychologists - Expectation vs Reality

Nate_Late — Wed, 29 Mar 2023 06:14:49 GMT

damn you for the Prompting questions. thanks for the reply those questions are really thought provoking. i did kind of answer some of this to James but overall the Strategy he applies I'm sure is beneficial and if i was well and looking to better myself I'm sure it would be an uplifting journey. i have discovered some things about myself as we did personality tests etc and has helped me to understand a bit about "me" overall the things he says are great but after essentially 6 sessions i really cant think of any takeaways.

I have a backstory just like so many others, I'm sure maybe there is something in there that contributes to or is the source of some issues, i have no idea. i guess my original expectations were that a Psychologist would help me get that better understanding.

Re: Psychologists - Expectation vs Reality

Nate_Late — Wed, 29 Mar 2023 06:28:05 GMT

Hey, i have raised it however (because this is anonymous) i am bit scared to push the matter any further. i guess my expectation is, as you mentioned to discuss concerns in my life. he doesn't usually ask how i have been in the previous week normally just jumps into what we covered last session and if i did any homework he gave me. That's fine i guess but we are then at 10-15 minutes of sitting there before i get a chance to talk about me and whether or not i tried to check out again this week, bit dramatic i know, but that's just kind of what i think.

i have been back to see my GP and she thinks i should see someone else based on the report she got back from him. she is on holidays so I'm just looking around and ill see someone else off the MHCP until she is back and update it

Re: Psychologists - Expectation vs Reality

Nate_Late — Wed, 29 Mar 2023 06:30:54 GMT

Hi Lumpi, i get it i feel exactly the same. give me something broken or tangible and i can sort it out

Re: Psychologists - Expectation vs Reality

Nate_Late — Wed, 29 Mar 2023 06:39:26 GMT

Hi All, i have just re-read some of my responses, apologies for the negative approach i am having a bit of a "down" time at the moment and not in the best headspace. it is getting harder to keep my happy mask on, i do appreciate the responses and i am overwhelmed with how detailed and helpful they have been so far.

Re: Psychologists - Expectation vs Reality

james1 — Fri, 21 Apr 2023 12:49:07 GMT

Hey Nate_Late,

Sorry I think I must've missed your replies before. I hope I can still catch you here, and please do not feel like you brought a negative approach to us. Perhaps it may be some reassurance to remember that we have experienced similar things and understand when life brings us down. I think you were just being very true to your experience, and I hope you can continue to bring that here where there's no need to have a happy mask.

Some of the thoughts you've described are quite similar to mine. I had, and still have, constant questions and frustrations with how long it takes to 'get over' things. I am annoyed sometimes by the route we take in my sessions, and I often question whether it's even helpful. I suppose I have the benefit of having 7 years experience with my psychologist, that even though I question them at the time, I know I'm better than I was back then. I think I'm naturally inclined to be a 'fixer' and it's frustrating when I can't figure out what to do, and somehow time and patience is meant to help.

Maybe not a super informative post from me, haha. Just wanted to share that I understand at least some of what it's like to be questioning the therapy experience, but also think it actually has been helpful to me over the years despite the confusion.

If you'd like, I'd certainly be interested to hear how you've been in the last few weeks and whether you've had a chance to look at other psychologists?

James

Re: Psychologists - Expectation vs Reality

P12 — Wed, 26 Apr 2023 03:04:13 GMT

I have attended roughly forty meetings with twelve different mental health practitioners over the past seven years. I have not overcome the reasons for my visiting the first practitioner. I believe it is helpful to direct practitioners to the outcome we would like to achieve.

Re: Psychologists - Expectation vs Reality

james1 — Fri, 28 Apr 2023 06:33:04 GMT

Hey P12,

That sounds exhausting to have gone through so many different practitioners, and frustrating to not have overcome the original reasons. It sounds like your advice has a lot of experience behind it. Thanks for the post!

James

Re: Psychologists - Expectation vs Reality

P12 — Sat, 06 May 2023 02:06:11 GMT

I found it helpful to approach my meetings with my practitioners like friendships.

I have tried to make a friend for more than 14 years and visiting practitioners is the most effective outcome I have achieved. Although I have met other people in that time with whom I have established small connections, they are not as strong as I would like.

Of course I would prefer to not need to pay someone to spend meaningful time with me, but I found the payment justifiable. On average I visit one every three months and more than half of my visits have been free (offered by short term government funded programmes or employee assistance programmes). I also found the cost empowered me in my meetings.

The most effective practitioners are those with whom I feel a strong connection. This is based on my analysis and feelings about whether their personality matches mine.

I found it helpful to analyse my practitioners to understand their personality, intellect, and life experiences. This has helped me understand the reasons behind what they are saying. I found it more useful than strictly following content or treatment technqiues. It is also rewarding because it works both ways. I can sense their change of thought and feeling and obtain some compassion, and I am slowly able to direct meetings as I like while receiving pseudo-scientific guidance.

Most feedback I receive is that I am ineffective in communicating and people skills. However I believe I have strong analytical skills, with both the natural and human world.

Re: Psychologists - Expectation vs Reality

james1 — Sun, 14 May 2023 13:23:06 GMT

Hello P12,

It sounds like you've got some really great insight into the value you get from your practitioners! I'm really glad to hear you're able to use that relationship in such a helpful way to grow and find ways to meet your needs. It is so hard to make new friends the older we get, and I'm glad you've found something that works for you right now.

James