topic My Christmas story in Staying well

My Christmas story

white knight — Mon, 08 Dec 2014 23:31:28 GMT

It was in 1994. I was 36yo and my father had recently passed away. I had two daughters6 and 3yo and had been unemployed for 2 years. Xmas was looking bleak, we were poor and I found it impossible to find work. I was good with handyman work though and my mind went into mania mode...I found a way I could give my girls a great xmas.

I designed the perfect cubby house. It had dormer windows, was portable and painted bright colours. Pink with grey and green with cream. Or any colour they ordered. I built one and took it to a town show and kids wouldnt get out of it. Mums had to drag them out. I knew I was onto something.

This idea was my temporary saviour. Because my marriage was on the rocks and I had little idea of my mental illnesses. All I knew was I was going downhill fast.

I withdrew our last dollars to buy more floorboards and advertised in the trading post. Two weeks later I had orders for14 cubbies all to be delivered xmas eve. I frantically began to build and borrow more money to buy more materials. I toiled for 19 hours a day.

Xmas eve arrived and at 4am I woke to a "town" of brightly coloured cubbies on our backyard where my daughters had played for the last few weeks. One by one they were delivered all over the Victorian state towed by my old trusty Ford Zephyr.

19 hours later I had the last cubby on the trailer bound for Melbourne 2 hours away. I was spent, exhausted but I was estatic. My pocket was full of money...around $8000 of which $2000 was to be repaid in materials. I delivered the cubby. The parents of that lucky girl got me to eat santas carrot cake and in front of this couple I burst into tears totally overcome and exhausted.

I drove home and a few kilometres from home I realised I'd forgotten to buy my daughters a xmas gift. All our money had gone into building materials and I was so busy delivering cubbies- I'd forgot. I drove another hour to arrive at a service station at a town named Kalkallo on the outskirts of Melbourne, the only place where gift could be purchased. The only "gifts" were $3 beach balls. And so two were purchased.

I got home at 3am. My wife did have two xmas stockings she filled with nick knacks and we wrapped the balls in xmas paper. Our children woke and they loved their beach balls and stockings.

There has never been a better xmas. Two weeks later we got a new fridge and filled it and the pantry with food.

Two months later I got a job.

I've believed ever since....that you can make your own luck in life.

Merry xmas

Tony WK

My Christmas story

Asche — Tue, 09 Dec 2014 04:51:40 GMT

Wow. That sounds like a fantastic memory!

My Christmas story

geoff — Tue, 09 Dec 2014 23:13:43 GMT

dear Tony, what a lovely letter and really 'a man after my own heart', because before and after my pub days I was also a handyman, doing it in my own self employed business as well as gutting our house.

I loved every minute of it and never ever thought that I wouldn't want to do it ever again, but depression made me, and now I don't want anything to do with it, this was my greatest regret from having depression, it destroyed it all.

Tony are you still keen on your handyman work, because what you did back then was a brilliant effort. Geoff.

My Christmas story

JessF — Wed, 10 Dec 2014 02:09:10 GMT

Tony this is a beautiful story, I got teary reading it. Do you still have pictures of all those cubbies on your lawn? It must have been wonderful to sit and look at all that work, knowing the pleasure that so many kids would be getting from them.

My Christmas story

white knight — Wed, 10 Dec 2014 10:58:09 GMT

Hi Geoff,

Well after the cubbies, my old back injury returned having had to man handle the cubbies too much. So I pondered how to make extra cash. I had an old ride on mower. So set about making a locomotive. It looked like Thomas the tank engine and it still was required to mow the lawns so looked amusing for others to see a loco mowing lawns. I made two open carriages and a red caboose. The caboose had its traditional steps and rear verandah. In all it cost me only $700 plus the mower worth around $1000.

Under the roof was a small gas bottle and compressor under the hood. A water cock handle controlled the whistles found from a steam train shop in NSW. The type kids blew thru like flutes. The loco was of course bright blue.

I made hundreds of dollars a day at shows. That whistle brought the kids from everywhere. It didnt need tracks of course so would ride around ovals. But I had one problem. My then wife, due to the friction between us, refused to take bookings. Also there was a union called the Showmans Guild. To be a member of the guild one had to be a third generation showman or be recommended by a family of showpersons. I was turned away at shows. Eventually I sold the train to a showman for $7000. Being so financially strapped the money was suppose to be a blessing. I returned home that day and told my wife. She said "you could have got a lot more for it than that". Here was a partner that wouldnt take bookings etc Then she blew a smoke ring in my face. After 11 years of abuse it was the final straw.

I left.Mentally there was no other option.

Yes, I still do all handyman work at home. Am building a man cave in the shed now for my future wood working projects, where its warm in the cold winters here in the hills. I tinker with my VW trike.

Jess. Yes, I have several photos of my cubbies. not of the 14 sold that xmas though...was too busy to think of that. I recall my largest I made. It was 2400x2400x1800 high. It was a traditional Victorian shape with fairy curtains and laced verandah.

Cant post them here so we'll let that go. However after leaving my first wife I did then build my own home from a kit. It took 8 months. It was a quaker barn.

At our current house with the help of my wife of 4 years (known her for 29 years now) we built a 6 metre diameter rotunda elevated 3 metres off the ground. It overlooks a golf course. Red sunsets at the moment are amazing. Tony

My Christmas story

geoff — Wed, 10 Dec 2014 14:04:40 GMT

dear Tony, sounds truly magnificant with all you're been through, facing adversity for so long and to have the strength to continue on.

With my ex well most times it had to be done to her standard and that was high, although she was very appreciative of the tasks that I had accomplished, but never any rewards. lol

I probably would still love doing what I used to do, but it was my depression that stopped all of this, zapped it all away after 20 years or more.

Any broken windows from the golf course, which again

My Christmas story

geoff — Wed, 10 Dec 2014 14:10:20 GMT

dear Tony, sorry my trigger happy fingers went into overdrive there.

I used to love playing golf, but because I wouldn't be able to walk around the course now this has stopped me from playing, but then again you have to find the time, maybe after my hip surgery. Geoff.

My Christmas story

Doolhof — Thu, 11 Dec 2014 21:57:07 GMT

Dear Tony,

Thank you so very much for your very touching story. I remember a few Christmases at home with Mum and Dad where they had both made us presents for Christmas.

As children we didn't realise how very poor our parents were. I thought having scones for lunch was a real treat, I didn't realise that was all that Mum could provide us!

One year Dad made us toy cars out of wood and we loved them even though we were three girls. Dad had made them and they were so very special to us.

One year Mum had kept all the match boxes and made furniture for a cardboard box dolls house. We played with that until it all fell apart.

Christmas and Birthdays were very special in our house as were able to have soft drinks and chocolate biscuits!

Thanks for sharing Tony, you have helped me to realise just how much our parents did for us and how much they loved us!

Cheers. From Mrs. Dools

My Christmas story

geoff — Thu, 11 Dec 2014 23:11:51 GMT

dear Mrs, Doolhof, how lovely to see you back, but please Little One take it easy.

I was going to post my Xmas day but after Mrs, Dools lovely reply it's not the right time, but will later on. L Geoff. x

My Christmas story

Neil_1 — Fri, 12 Dec 2014 00:02:47 GMT

Hi Tony

Absolutely awesome story and thank you so much for sharing it with us. What an incredible talent you have – as for me, when hammering a nail in, my nickname is “lightning”; cause I never strike twice in the same place.

Neil

My Christmas story

Doolhof — Sat, 13 Dec 2014 03:50:13 GMT

Hi Geoff,

Any time is the right time to share your story with us all. I am looking forward to reading what you have to share with us.

Tony's story about the cubby houses is excellent. It reminds me about our cubby house at home. Our Dad built one for us when we were kids.

Mum tells the story that someone complained to the local council because Dad had built us the cubby house without going through council. Apparently the councillor just told this person that it was wonderful that our Dad had build us a cubby house and more Dad's should do the same thing.

It was quite large and we had so many excellent days out there in our own little house!

When my husband and I bought our second home and my nieces came around to see the place, my youngest niece was very upset as we had not thought to build a cubby house there!

It is wonderful to recall the happy memories of childhood.

Thanks all for contributing and adding on your stories here.

From Mrs. Dools

My Christmas story

white knight — Wed, 20 Dec 2017 05:02:12 GMT

Well arent those pictures above grand.

Memories of how you can make a bleak xmas, memorable...

Tony WK

My Christmas story

Quercus — Wed, 20 Dec 2017 06:26:16 GMT

Oh Tony!

That story is just as gorgeous to me now as it was to others in 2014. Thank you for sharing it with us.

The best part for me was how you bought the $3 beach balls. I remember my Dad buying my sister and I each a bottle of fanta and sitting in the back of his car sliding on the bench seat sipping it in straws. He didn't need to buy us anything fancy. I remember that one memory (fizzy orange soda. hot sticky leather. Dad's gruff voice) clearer than any of my other childhood memories.

Because it was something my Dad chose (not with any prodding from Mum) to do with us girls to make us happy because he loved us even if he was a blokey bloke and had no idea how to show it.

Thank you Tony.

❤ Nat

My Christmas story

white knight — Wed, 20 Dec 2017 14:00:02 GMT

Hi Nat

Ive noticed you tend to cherish the principle of actions which, I think has strong merit.

Your memory of those fanta drinks, the smell of leather seats, the fact that your dad provided them, all important but often not remembered by some as they grow.

As a child I would wake around 3am xmas morning quiet as a mouse. I'd unwrap my presents ,one year was a racing car set and once I got it going then opened my younger sisters present...yuk! A bride doll...stick the wrapping back on. Open my brothers...great- battling tops! A small very noisy game....stick wrapping back on....wake my 8yo sister. .."hey sis, santa has come, you might get a present "...ok, youve opened it now, you are the blue car and I'm the red car, squeeze that trigger lets race....

Oh Tony! ..."its only a bride doll sis, this is better..."

Ive apologised every xmas since

Tony WK

My Christmas story

Quercus — Thu, 21 Dec 2017 15:09:53 GMT

Hi Tony 😊

Thanks. You always see things from a perspective I haven't considered... I value that.

That is a sweet memory too. More so because of how you apologise. I think some of my strongest memories are bittersweet like that.

Not ones for Croix's happy memories threads but so utterly vivid and important to shape me. Because of like you said... The memory of the thought behind the actions not the actions themselves. Lessons I learnt about being a human being.

Sitting under the tree at my Grandparent's house and one by one we kids chose a gift and gave it to the recipient (not allowed to choose our own). We would read the tag aloud. Opening gifts took ages. It meant we took time and chose meaningful gifts. Not expensive. Not many. But thoughtful. It was about spending time as a family not presents.

How I miss this since Grandma passed away. Christmas is so bittersweet. Lessons from a beautiful soul who made me a better person and a tradition lost for now until Christmas is at my home.

Thanks Tony. You have so many lessons to share. Which Christmas has had the biggest impact on you? The one in your story or another?

❤ Nat

My Christmas story

white knight — Fri, 22 Dec 2017 07:48:11 GMT

Hi Nat

The one at the top of this thread is the most vivid in my memory and I was 34yo then.

But I have to say that since my sister and I broke off with our mother in 2010 we have slowly enjoyed our xmas more and more. Its well documented in some older threads here but my sister and I have our illnesses due to our mothers chronic BPD, her denial, her narcissism. Her need to be the centre of attention even so much so as ruining my first wedding in 1985 and threatening to at my second wedding in 2011 saw drastic and permanent action taken to cut all ties.

Now we are relaxed, calm, loving xmas every year. That's where I got inspiration for threads like "fortress of survival", to show others how they are entitled to a good life full of love and happiness but it might include hard decisions.

Cheers. Tony WK

My Christmas story

white knight — Sat, 23 Dec 2017 03:39:58 GMT

Do you have a Christmas Story?

I'd love to read it.

Ton WK

My Christmas story

CMF — Sat, 23 Dec 2017 08:20:35 GMT

I'm all choked up. Have no words.

Beautiful story of hope and believing.

My Christmas story

Ggrand — Sat, 23 Dec 2017 08:49:03 GMT

Hi Tony,,

The story of your Christmas sounds really wonderful,

Thank you for sharing, Your determination in doing what you set out to do was amazing, you have great skills, Not only can you put pen to paper beautifully but you can also plan and build some amazing things. The train , what great imagination you have for tinkering. I think you had more enjoyment then the youngsters who rode your train..

Kindness only.

GG.

My Christmas story

Bethie — Sat, 23 Dec 2017 09:08:16 GMT

Tony if you or 1 of the experience members are on please check new thread I need help

I've got a really bad feeling on this