topic I think I'm getting there... in Staying well

I think I'm getting there...

LPS85 — Sat, 28 Feb 2015 15:04:16 GMT

First time on here.

I've been fighting since I was 15. I think I'm getting there now.

15 years. I know it sounds like a long time but it has been a very gradual process, getting better and stronger as the years added up. Plus I don't feel nearly thirty!!!!

what was the thing that helped most in getting me out of the darkness? Actually wanting help and being determined to do what I had to do. Medication AND therapy! Not one or the other. What helped was finding a psychologist I felt understood and was invested in helping me.

you wouldn't think to look at me now, I have a very good job and just got a promotion, I'm educated, building my own house, I have friends and family that I love and who love me.

but it wasn't always that way and I don't think it will ever truly be over. I just made a choice...and I chose to do the hard work.

What you think is so powerful, it doesn't have to be real though, you can choose to entertain a thought. I didn't realise this for a long time, then I took me even longer to actually gain control over them. They still creep in.

I thought getting on here and sharing would help me and maybe, by chance help someone else

im happy to talk more about my experience. My lowest times. How I got through them. Like the rain app!! It's just an app for that plays the sound of rain, it still helps me when my mind won't stop.

I think I'm getting there...

Beltane — Sun, 01 Mar 2015 11:05:45 GMT

How amazing that you've beaten it and are "getting there". I too have spent a long time fighting mine (bipolar, and anxiety) and have beaten the worst of mine too.

i used to be so bad i lived in my home, never going anywhere, having panic attacks even just going food shopping. My only social outlet was playing world of warcraft, and i could only hold down a part time job which stressed me out. I never had enough money, and had no friends or social life to speak of. I was extremely depressed and spent all my spare time sleeping.

i dunno why but it took me years to accept that i needed help. I guess i knew deep down that my illness was really severe, and i knew it would take a lot to beat it. I just knew. and i was scared of that. As a community champion here i often remind our members that depression warps the mind- it makes us say really unhealthy things to ourselves, and believe unhealthy thoughts.

Anywho 3 years ago life got to a point where i knew it was time to get help. I got onto medication and therapy. I also made lifestyle changes- as the anxiety got better it got easier to get new hobbies, to start making friends, to basically start leaving my home. I went to support groups, and read therapy books. My very first "therapy step" was to go the shops and buy milk- thats how bad my anxiety was.

So its 3 years later, i'm 27, and i feel like my real life is a whole new world. I have a wonderful career and still want to do more study to go further. For the first time in my life i'm able to hold down a full-time job and have a successful long term relationship which is healthy and happy.

I have so many fun hobbies that involve other people, i happily attend social events and live a normal healthy life.

Just the other week i attended a meetup group, i hadn't met any of the people there previously, i'd never been to the location before. It was something that 3 years ago i never could have dreamed in my wildest dreams.

I was slightly nervous (just a little butterfly in the tummy). But i made 2 wonderful friends there who have since become important in my life. I remember sitting there in that group of people and being SO SO grateful i'd made the decision to get help, to accept medication and therapy (and i really threw myself into the therapy). Because now i can make friends, i can go to concerts and fun events, i can have a meaningful job, and most important i can have a meaningful life.

Hope to see you share your tips with others here at beyondblue

I think I'm getting there...

LPS85 — Mon, 02 Mar 2015 12:14:10 GMT

Thank you Beltane,

your story tells me and hopefully others that there is a wonderful life to live once you take the first step. It is inspiring to hear how rich your life is and i understand how hard you have worked to get it.

I think I'm getting there...

JessF — Tue, 03 Mar 2015 04:57:38 GMT

Hello LPS, I love the sound of rain! I hadn't thought about apps, I have a collection of Australian sound CDs I picked up cheaply years ago. There's thunderstorm, surf at sunrise, camping by a creek, so relaxing and they go for about an hour each. I need to listen to something in bed at night, otherwise my mind races or wanders. Lately I use podcasts or audio books.