topic How do you avoid questions if you feel overwhelmed by them? in Staying well

How do you avoid questions if you feel overwhelmed by them?

ypla — Sat, 17 Apr 2021 12:29:12 GMT

Hi,

It's me again, with my social anxiety questions.

This time I'm coming from the opposite end of the spectrum. The other day at work, this person started asking me personal questions at work even though I knew him from uni and I felt like I answered his questions before. Anyways, he started gunning me down with question after question. I wasn't asking him back and I could feel social anxiety as I rubbed my hands together and felt tense.

Other times people ask me what I did over the weekend, the same people that asked me if I had plans for the weekend. With my flipping mind, I change plans very quickly and don't know how to answer if I didn't do over the weekend. I'd rather avoid these questions than making awkward conversations but sometimes people catch me off guard. I avoid having lunch with these people and go for a walk during my lunch break but that's not the case all the time.

Did you have a similar situation? Did you feel anxious? And how do you avoid these situations?

How do you avoid questions if you feel overwhelmed by them?

white knight — Sat, 17 Apr 2021 22:47:07 GMT

I've felt similar experiences.

The best remedy is turning the table. Answer "not much" then say- "what did you do, anything exciting"?

Do that often enough and you'll become an expert at deflecting attention.

Also, there's nothing wrong with being alone at lunchtime. It proves you're not a sheep like the others.

TonyWK

How do you avoid questions if you feel overwhelmed by them?

quirkywords — Sat, 17 Apr 2021 23:56:08 GMT

ypla

Thanks for your post.

I do like asking questions and sometimes like Tony says I am deflecting a question from myself.

I wonder if some of those people asking you questions are doing that so you don’t ask them questions. I hope that isn’t too confusing.

I have a friend who constantly asks others questions so she does not have to answer any.

I feel uncomfortable when people ask me questions I don’t want to answer.

Have you tried asking a question first or would that be too hard?

Thanks for this interesting topic

How do you avoid questions if you feel overwhelmed by them?

CalmCat — Sun, 18 Apr 2021 01:05:12 GMT

Hi ypla,

Thanks for the great question!

I agree with white knight, bring the power back to yourself and ask the person a question. This will help you deflect their chit chat!

I feel anxious to in these situations, as I don't understand where the questioner is coming from. Give yourself the power!

Let us know your thoughts.

Regards,

How do you avoid questions if you feel overwhelmed by them?

romantic_thi3f — Tue, 20 Apr 2021 00:36:59 GMT

Hi ypla,

Such a good question - thank you for asking us a question about how you don't like being asked questions 😉

In all seriousness, I had the same question a couple of days ago about my Easter and weekend - my Easter was filled with relationship issues and tears, and my weekend was filled with more tears. (I'm going through a depressive episode at the moment).

For the most part, people are not interested in that - so I have learned a few different ways to deflect - oh not too much, just enjoyed the weather, did some pottering, caught up on cleaning.. My laundry basket is full but they don't need to know that 🙂

It's also alright to let people know you don't like to be asked these questions (very awkward convo but it is a long-term boundary) and to have you own inner boundaries - you don't owe anyone any explanations and can chop and change your plans anytime.