topic Re: Paranoia and schizoaffective in Staying well

Paranoia and schizoaffective

Mark07a — Thu, 18 Jun 2026 09:34:30 GMT

Hi all

I go through periods with my mental health, anxious, depressive, high (elevated) and then when everything becomes overwhelming i get paranoid and sometimes delusions.

Im finding this paranoid period particuarly difficult. I think because im also anxious, depressed, isolated, very very unhappy in a job thats oppresive and unsupportive in many ways even though my boss knows my struggles she has been bullying me for a while.

My parents are the closest people to me and they just totally disregard all my mental health struggles. They just act like i dont have anything wrong with me. And then they get angry and sometimes emotionally and verbally abusive.

What i do to stay well.

Exercise. Pray. Read religious text. Eat well. Minimise caffeine. Try and sleep well.

Do you have any other tips?

I think what makes things harder is i have no friends or social support and havent for years even though i really want to connect. I find it really difficult, tiring, draining to socialise most of the time.

I have tried though, i volunteer reguarly, ive joined social groups, been to internet meetups, joined dating sites. Ive even been to some mental health support groups.

Im just afraid things are going to get even harder.

Thanks for reading.

Thx beyond blue for being here.

Re: Paranoia and schizoaffective

white knight — Fri, 19 Jun 2026 02:35:30 GMT

Hi, welcome

I've had only a couple of paranoid episodes which is a worse version of intrusive thoughts imo. Intrusive thoughts... I was told by my therapist at the time - "separate them, consider if they are realistic or not, if they arent real them remove them from your mind by distraction". So I did and it worked after a period of practice. The key to it is to think or do something else, even a walk around the block. One day when I took a sickie from work, I had a fear my boss would drive by and see me sitting on my porch so I began gardening gardening. Our senses focus on other objects and distract us.

Timing of motivation. If you put a lot of effort into motivating yourself when you are depressed it can be wasted energy. It's important not to expect too much of yourself in that zone. Wait until you are improving.

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/depression/depression-and-the-timing-of-motivation/td-p/149708

People in your life. Other people are unlikely to imagine what your mental health struggles are like, this is because they cant see the illness (unlike a broken leg) nor any restrictions (like limping). So please try to not be hard on them for that. That's why we exist here, because its one of the few places the mentally ill can go to get support. It is a shame but thats reality. Hold onto the love you get from your parents and have zero expectations of them understanding.

Factors that dont help with depression.

Financial struggles
Wrong career
Wrong workplace
Toxic people even in families
Transport issues
Injury or physical disabilities etc

Some of those above can be rectified. eg Finance, sometimes its better to go bankrupt and endure 3 years of toil then you are released from debt to start again. At times its better to remove people in your life that are toxic then put up with their expectations. Finding another job can work wonders.

I hope this helped. Keep going and whittle away at your issues. Reply anytime for clarification here or a new post.

TonyWK

Re: Paranoia and schizoaffective

Mark07a — Fri, 19 Jun 2026 06:39:11 GMT

Really good advice i think about motivating yourself when depressed and trying to do too much can be wasted energy. Never thought of it that way before.

When i feel paranoid i cant walk around the block because the paranoia can include strangers.

I prefer to isolate, i know its not healthy but it helps me with grounding myself.

I will have to work on not expecting my parents to understand what im going through.

Thanks for your reply Tony

I hope you are going well.

How are you with things atm?

Re: Paranoia and schizoaffective

white knight — Sat, 20 Jun 2026 03:54:13 GMT

Hi Mark,

Thankyou for asking. I'm good. I'm 70yo and recently became a grandad for the first time so I'm on cloud 9. I was a late diagnosis in 2009 with bipolar, dysthymia (a constant low mood depression) and under the autism spectrum high functioning. Prior to 2009 anxiety peaked in 1987 so embarked upon eliminating that and a false diagnosis of ADHD. With lots of struggles with other people including some toxic family members I found my boundaries and began to remove people from my life that were not understanding (but were also combative). That resulted in a smaller family but genuinely caring people. Those cut off included my mother and sister, both dramatic, manipulative and stressful people to be around. I later found that my mother likely had Borderline Personality Disorder and passed it onto my sister. So I had to overcome guilt for removing people and gain confidence with firmness to stand by my plans for a restful old age. It's not easy but I'm totally convinced I began caring for my own well being was overdue.

I'm a inventor and builder by hobby, mainly in the past, now I just want to ride my trike I built. So suggestions like Mens Shed and other suitable clubs are not my thing. Sensitivity is so high that as soon as an old grumpy guy told me what to do that would end my presence. So the last 20 years has been getting to know myself, accepting myself and live life hassle free.

I once had a large jigsaw on a huge table in a spare room. If I was upset I'd go in there and do my regimental 20 pieces, usually by the time I'd done them my mind had shifted away from my problem or at least I'd see it in a different perspective.

I cant judge the extent of your paranoia as I'm not a professional medical person but it seems higher than mine back in the day. Having said that, there is nothing wrong with isolation. Mental health care is personal, no cure fits all etc. There should be no guilt doing what pleases you and makes you safer.

Relationships with parents can improve once we accept that their non acceptance is normal and has little to do with their love. I often say "if you were an astronaut and walked on the moon, returned and spoke about it to a group, how many could relate to the actual experience? None, because it is too far left field. So if mental struggles. Same with the reason to move out and left in another location. Your relationship with parents will likely improve. Have you considered it?

"100 brown cows in a paddock gather together... they moo to the only black cow at the far corner and laugh, she's different. Black cow moos back saying you are all copies, I'm my own cow......" (TonyWK)

TonyWK

Re: Paranoia and schizoaffective

Mark07a — Sat, 20 Jun 2026 09:05:41 GMT

Hey Tony

Thats a late diagnosis, ive seen that quite alot, people being diagnosed at a later than usual age. Can i ask why it took so long to get that diagnosis? And are you confident its the right one and if so why?

Being an inventor and builder.. wow youre fortunate to have those skills as im sure they help you when things are difficult. How do you cope with being in a constant low mood?

Ive always suspected that my mother has bpd, and im pretty sure over the years i too now have it but ive never been diagnosed with it.

Im sensitive too and can really relate to you when you said the man telling you what to do ended your experience at mens shed.

Thanks for sharing, Tony.

I usually find hearing other peoples struggles helps me so thx again for taking the time to reply.

Mark

Re: Paranoia and schizoaffective

white knight — Mon, 22 Jun 2026 02:29:11 GMT

No problem, I enjoy sharing as brainstorming is an effective learning tool.

My previous partner knew there was something wrong. Although I'd had one suicide attempt in 1996 with my 1st wife, I'd continued on with suicidal thoughts and uncontrolled emotions. She gave me a book to read (I'd only read 2-3 books in my life and it made sense years later due to autism, lack of focus) called ADHD in adults. So in 2003 at 46yo I found a psych specialising in ADHD and sure enough that was his diagnosis. But it wasnt the right one. 6 years of taking 12 different medications to find the right one I got a second opinion with the help of my wife now of 15 years- his interview had a second psych listening in during his lunch break. At the end of the interview- diagnosis - bipolar2, dysthymia, depression, and a little anxiety. Anxiety I had largely eliminated.

The mania we thought was from ADHD was in fact from bipolar swings from mania to depression. The dysthymia was from childhood and event when my brother was nearly drowned in a backyard above ground pool when I threw him over the side onto the ground when he had a diabetic fit. I was in shock and didnt speak for 3 months, not a word. The depression ran in the family. Anxiety no doubt from a bpd mother with unreachable expectations. He told me his diagnosis and asked his friend and he nodded, two expert opinions at once. But the proof was in the meds and a few tried then settled on one and have been 80% since. An increase and a decrease in dosage told me it is as good as it will ever get.

At 26yo I realised I was a negative thinker. I attended a motivation lecture and in 30 minutes it changed my life, largely why constant low mood doesnt effect me much.

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/30-minutes-can-change-your-life/td-p/154525

After decades of turmoil with my mother a friend told me to google- queen witch hermit waif. I realised my mother was all 4 characters. But some are not all 4. 80% of BPD are women. https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/narcissism/td-p/334484

More on sensitivity- https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/sensitive-beyond-reasonable/td-p/165991

This one allows us to remove responsibility for being sensitive- https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/sensitive-beyond-reasonable/td-p/165991

My definition of abuse- "When a person feels intense scrutiny with expectations beyond what they feel is reasonable, domination they feel isnt required, verbal,, physical or emotional actions or control they find intolerable... then they are being abused." Notice the abuser is not mentioned? It isnt about them, its about what your tolerance is and what is reasonable.

Questions? Reply more.

TonyWK

Re: Paranoia and schizoaffective

Mark07a — Wed, 24 Jun 2026 07:18:33 GMT

Sounds like you are satisfied with your diagnosis and have made improvements with your mental health too such as overcoming your low moods.

I have been disagnosed with schizoaffective disorder and ocd, anxiety and depression.

I just dont know what wrong with me and why I cant seem to personally develop.

I feel like ive been stagnant since i left school.

I don't know why I can't seem to make improvements.

Why i feel so dull, empty and boring as a person.

I have nothing on my mind and nothing in my heart a lot of the time im like a shell of a person.

I just got off the phone to my parents and something so little such as them doing all the talking, they always do all the talking and hardly ever show interest or concern in me which really irritates me especially since they will have a go at me when i fail to meet their expectations which i always do.

I dont even know where to start with everythjng in my life that is bothering me.

Im just letting out steam i think?

I dont really have anyone i can talk to so being on these forums is good.

Thanks for listening and sharing.

Re: Paranoia and schizoaffective

white knight — Wed, 24 Jun 2026 12:24:33 GMT

Its very common that people talk about themselves. But its sad that they dont take an interest in you. Every phone call with my daughter includes "how are you". But better to let that slide imo.

So what helps character building and reputation? 1. Expertise in at least one area. 2. Interests that keep you occupied or a passion you cant stay away from. 3. A character that others find funny or interesting. 4. Voluntary work you find fulfilling. 5. Part of a team

The unfortunate thing is that others including me cant help you find such direction, it comes from you.

Some school leavers dont know what career they want. I had one objective to be a pilot in the RAAF no plan B. After my service I went from job to job with zero satisfaction. Eventually I started my own company in private investigations and excelled. The most suitable career. I retired 13 years ago (mental health reasons) at 57yo and, lost part of my character! But I had my inventiveness, poetry, building etc to fill my days and keep the black dog at bay. Im a little eccentric so without my abilities I'd be as lost as you.

So, think deeply, is their anything you can do thats an interest or unique?

TonyWK

Re: Paranoia and schizoaffective

Mark07a — Sat, 27 Jun 2026 09:45:41 GMT

Ive been making an effort but obviously not a good enough effort.

I do volunteer at a few different places on my days off.

I have a real hard time connecting with people though.

What am I good at? What's interesting or unique about me?

Nothing jumps out at me, I'd have to give it more thought.

I like nature, biology and animals. But I dont know how I turn those interests into a way to connect.

Thx Tony

Hope you are having a nice Saturday

Re: Paranoia and schizoaffective

white knight — Sat, 27 Jun 2026 12:34:00 GMT

Yeh, its been a good day. Thanks

Owning animals is a personal decision but if its feasible theres nothing like a loyal dog.

Got a friend that volunteers for RSPCA. But in reality they just clean compounds, besides you do enough volunteer work.

I'd highly recommend camping. Better still if you're into motorcycles, many ride then camp. I have a friend that camps every weekend, has two teenagers, married so haven't known him long enough to know why he goes alone, but he posts his campsite video every weekend. Campfire, steak, swag, heaven.

I'll suggest watching videos from "Prem Rawat Maharaji". He has many. My favourites are- Sunset, All is well, the perfect instrument.

Google- beyondblue maharaji- he helped me for 25 years

In fact its now 41 years lol!

He's not sprouting religion but is religious. So its good relaxing listening. His effect on me has been profound.

How are you with motivation Mark?

TonyWK

Re: Paranoia and schizoaffective

Mark07a — Mon, 29 Jun 2026 10:20:01 GMT

Is he like a Hindu philosopher or something?

Im thinking of starting some kind of meditation because my mental health has been really bad and just feels like its getting worse, iam so frustrated and annoyed with everything.

I love animals and if my living situation permitted I'd go out and buy a dog, bird or cat tomorrow in no particular order. Probably not a bird because I dont like the idea of keeping one caged when im not home. I think a cat would be best.

I love animals and they do wonders for your health.

My motivation sucks.

I use to go to the gym about 5 times a week. Ive only been about 6 times in the last 2 months which is pretty bad for me.

I find my motivation to do just about anything is not very good, everything is an effort.

I really need some good friends or friend but its hard to make a mean I ngful connection.

Re: Paranoia and schizoaffective

white knight — Mon, 29 Jun 2026 13:01:42 GMT

The formula to seek friends never changes- things in common, sports, hobbies, interests. If humans meet a person without one common interest it rarely develops into anything meaningful.

I had a female friend that liked mountain trekking. She joined the Melbourne hiking club (this was 35 years ago) and made strong friendships. It suited as she liked overnight camping, bird watching and campfires. Thats an example.

Maharaji is Indian. He first became famous at 9yo. A town leader died, during the procession in the street, lots of crying, he climbed a fence and preached to them telling them to cellibrate his death. At 13yo he was on TV. He now is about 80yo and flies a Lear jet around the world. He is all about the development of your inner self. In fact ive used his videos during my relaxation periods. Theyre ideal

TonyWK