The Loss of Faith

amd1953 — Fri, 05 Jun 2026 10:08:39 GMT

We put so much faith into our relationships in the hope that they will work out and happiness will prevail. We trust without question that the other half of the relationship will work as hard as we do to make it all work. It's not a game to see who emerges the winner. We don't use people like that if we value our own sanity. At least, we shouldn't. I made the mistake of trusting a lot of people in my time, only to discover that it was just a game to be played out and the winner takes all. I made the mistake of thinking that a marriage/relationship was based on mutual trust and making decisions together so that the relationship was always on a solid foundation and moved forward. Silly me! These are lessons that inform and punish at the same time. Kowing what I know now how fickle and insincere some people are, I would never have put myself through the experience that I did a few decades ago. I would have stayed on my own and made the best of what I had and what I could do for myself. Love and romance? I don't even know what they mean any more. They are just words in the dictionary without meaning. When I was younger, I hated the thought of going through life without someone to love and be loved in return. All empty dreams now as the memories fade into dust. Every day pushes those memories further away from me, as if they never really happened. Perhaps better to acknowledge that I was never intended to find love. Probably not the kind of sentiments from a rapidly ageing old man. However, I am human. That is one thing at least that I have going for me.

amd1953

Re: The Loss of Faith

Croix — Fri, 05 Jun 2026 11:22:08 GMT

Dear Amd1953~

Ive read your other post Disenchanted where you decided to live with the things that please you but express unhappiness that so much costs too much, not for good reason, but just so a segment of society can profiteer.

Frankly as one gets older the warning attached to just about everything, while mainly correct, mean less and less. I hope you enjoy these choices and live well.

Here you have talked about the fact that not all partnerships have worked out, and you have suffered greatly as a result. It's been so bad you have lost faith in people - quite understandable.

While I'm not advocating you take any particular action I would like to disagree with you - at least in part. My idea of a partnership is pretty much the same as I imagine yours to be. Wanting life long association, with love and caring, looking after the other person first and being there for them in good and hard times - someone you can trust and share fun and intimacy.

Some might say my expectations are not realistic. All I can say is that in my early 20's I found my soulmate and we lived a loving relationship until she prematurely passed away with multiple health issues. She was all the things I've described above.

At 50 I remarried and have one again been incredibly fortunate having had nearly 30 years of love, we are still together and I expect will remain so.

The only rule we have is that we never say anything, no matter how angry, that cannot be taken back. For example we never threaten divorce. We also do not in anger try to hurt the other, so if my partner was overweight (she is not in fact) I'd never say she was fat.

The world is a mix, you have been unlucky, however you may meet others whom you can respect and admire, neither of us has a crystal ball

Croix

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The Loss of Faith

Re: The Loss of Faith