topic Re: Christmas isn’t my favourite time of year in Staying well

Christmas isn’t my favourite time of year

smallwolf — Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:59:48 GMT

I'm not that much of a fan of Christmas. To me, it's fake. And pressure to be cheerful, social, and “festive,” and I often find myself feeling the opposite. And so I’m also trying to look after my mental health a bit more this year, but I’m curious how others cope during this season.

What things do you do at this time of year to take care of your mental health?
Anything that helps you stay grounded, calm, or just get through the holidays?

Thanks in advance to anyone willing to share.

Re: Christmas isn’t my favourite time of year

_Gigi_ — Thu, 04 Dec 2025 14:49:17 GMT

Hi smallwolf,

I used to be a big fan of the holidays, but nowadays I tend to find them a very sad, lonely and stressful time of year. Something that helps me is spending more time with my pets. My cats are happy to have a cuddle, and there's no pressure to put on the "holiday cheer" around them. We are truly lucky to have such lovely animals in our lives.

Re: Christmas isn’t my favourite time of year

melodica — Fri, 05 Dec 2025 07:28:37 GMT

Hello Smallwolf,

I relate strongly to the mix of feelings that come up for you at Christmas. It can be a heavy time for me too. Over the past few years, I have looked for small ways to make the day feel more bearable. Staying connected here helps, and having simple plans for Christmas Day gives me something steady to hold on to.

Have you thought about the community Christmas lunches that local groups run. They can make the day feel less isolating. I have also stepped back from the usual pressure around gifts. It only works if it aligns with your values. I keep it to a few small things for the people closest to me.

For me, the season is more about offering empathy and time to others, because many are carrying far more than they let on.

Re: Christmas isn’t my favourite time of year

smallwolf — Tue, 09 Dec 2025 11:09:38 GMT

hello all,

It's not the lack of connection. Perhaps too much. A lot of it I find fake. Maybe I'm jealous of those who find joy in this time. Me... just another day, except with gifts. And faking happiness.

Re: Christmas isn’t my favourite time of year

moody-_ahhhhh — Tue, 09 Dec 2025 22:40:22 GMT

honestly very valid, Christmas events can be very overstimulating particularly with the pressures u mentioned. do you feel its partially because of the people you spend Christmas with?

In a similar boat where I want to know how people change their self care and remain calm at the end of the year

Re: Christmas isn’t my favourite time of year

PetaP — Wed, 10 Dec 2025 03:38:30 GMT

I feel the same way. As Christmas edges closer, I feel myself becoming panic driven. You know …. Cook more, spend more etc etc. none of which i can afford. The grandkids have soooooo much already, they are impossible to buy for. And gift vouchers? Ha ha. I think you need to splurge out $100 for the kids to be able to buy something they “really want”. ????!! I cannot afford $100 x 6 grand kids.

and the cost of food? Horrendous. Yes, that increases my anxiety definitely.

I am a pensioner - 76. I have a beautiful family, but they are all sooooo busy! They make me feel I feel old and useless and out of touch.

It saddens me too that NONE of my grand children have been raised to learn about the birth of the baby Jesus. But they know alot about Santa and his elf!

Re: Christmas isn’t my favourite time of year

randomxx — Wed, 10 Dec 2025 08:56:40 GMT

Hi there smallwolf , and sorry to hear you won't be enjoying things.

Christmas, l dunno.Not married anymore but ex helped me really start liking it just for the beautiful day we'd have if, ifffff, we just stayed home with our own little family. They were really cool Christamas l miss them as we broke up later on.

What l don't miss though is the dreading for wks before, when we'd go down 2hr drive to her family every 2nd or 3rd. They weren't so bad but once the niceties were done just never did have anything to talk to them about was always a longgg painful day.

My side were a good 3hrs, so 7hrs driving on a Christmas day, you wre done before you even got there and so many of them that l'd often say some silly things bc l'd already be buggered before we even started from the drive. lt was ok there but the drive was mad. same , every 2-3 yrs we'd go mine. Ours at home were the best ever though.

This one, my daughters 3hrs away won't catch her sad to say, we'll prob catch up before or after though.

Prob just be me and l this one. Got a brother 15mins away but he usually goes down to his gf's.

Don't really mind this yr though , been a really stressful few mths, lot of driving to. lf it's hot might even go to the beach.

Hope you and others get through ok.

Re: Christmas isn’t my favourite time of year

smallwolf — Wed, 10 Dec 2025 10:47:01 GMT

Hi PetaP,

You said that it saddens you "that NONE of my grand children have been raised to learn about the birth of the baby Jesus."

I guess my question to you is ... while they may not have been raised that way, do they know about the birth ofi Jesus (from your perspective). I don't know if it would have to be something to talk to your children about (their parents) first or not. It could be something like ... "do you know what I celebrate at Christmas..."

Of course I don't know how old the grandchildren are either.

Just a random thought.

Re: Christmas isn’t my favourite time of year

smallwolf — Wed, 10 Dec 2025 10:55:26 GMT

Hi rx,

Thanks. I've always been like this... though only speaking about it here and now. This year, my family are coming to my place. Wife will be working on Christmas day. I will be assisting at at least 2 Christmas services. A feeling of emptiness. It has been hot here also. Makes me tired. And expectations with parties to attend at this time.

Re: Christmas isn’t my favourite time of year

randomxx — Fri, 12 Dec 2025 13:35:24 GMT

Hi smallwolf.

Sorry to say but that all sounds about the equivalent of a 7hr drive doesn't it , maybe more , so l could well understand.

So weird isn't it l mean religious or not it should be all the opposite of what we somehow end up with , or just another day if we;d rather right. Strange how we seem to end up trapped sometimes.

Hope you get through anyway.

Re: Christmas isn’t my favourite time of year

Guest_88259247 — Wed, 17 Dec 2025 01:32:22 GMT

Hello

I can understand Christmas being a lonely time of year and sometimes overwhelming.

For me it's a sad time of year because my beautiful mum passed away this May and my heart is missing her terribly...but it's also a reminder to love others more and look outside of myself because there are so many things to be grateful for once I look - my eyes as silly as that may sound, but I can see the beauty of nature and Christmas lights everywhere. My strength which helps me work and help others in need.

Please send messages as you wish to. I'm happy to chat and answer questions - being transparent is a blessed way to be.

Hope your day is filled with Peace

Regards, Alisen

Re: Christmas isn’t my favourite time of year

Ggrand — Wed, 17 Dec 2025 03:51:44 GMT

Hello smallwolf and everyone…🤗🌹🩷..

I agree Christmas is so fake, shops, businesses, media etc, use it for their own financial gain…Millions if not billions of dollars are spent each year around Christmas for gifts…probably each family member trying to out do the others with the bigger more expensive gift…The family get togethers are the same…trying to outshine last years nominated host, making big Christmas dinners, too much to eat, so in the end it more likely then not, ends up in the garbage..

Christmas, also is in a way commercialised about it being a time for peace, care and loving your friends and neighbours, forgiving them if they did you wrong and invite them along to the family festivities. …but this should not be just for Christmas, this should be the norm for every single day of our lives…Why, just for this time of year? because if the shops, businesses and media don’t promote this, then their sales drop…

Christmas is a very sad and lonely time for thousands of human being that are down on their luck….living on the streets, under bridges, in cars etc, We should be grateful that we have a roof over our heads, a bed to sleep in and food on the table, even if it’s just a very simple meal….Christmas Day is just another day to try to survive for so many people…

I will be alone again this year for Christmas, I’m counting my blessings, I have a TV, I can watch Christmas movies on, a CD player I can play Christmas music on, the internet so I can do Christmas service online and I can also drop in here for a chat, I have food in my fridge and a phone so when my children have had their Christmas with their families, they can ring me for a chat….if they want to.

smallwolf, we shouldn’t feel pressured into feeling happy and joyful, many do put on a mask, hide their true feeling, pretend to be having a good time and at the same time secretly wishing every second of the that, that the day was finally over…which can be mentally challenging, if our family and friends love and care for us so much, then why should we pretend to be having a good time…they should understand and accept us and our true feelings…

Christmas Day, is only one day, yet it causes so much stress and anxiety to so many people…why? because of expectations from ourselves as well as others…Just be yourself, because your allowed to be…and it’s who you are..

My kindest thoughts, with caring hugs🤗🤗🤗….

Grandy..

Re: Christmas isn’t my favourite time of year

randomxx — Sat, 20 Dec 2025 07:58:25 GMT

Hi to all , and so true Grandy, isn't it mad the way it can effect people.

My family's huge and l rarely see most of them even if l do do a Christmas and go down , that's a rare one of late.

Most yrs at least 1 or 2, will call me and l try to call at least a few myself to. There's so many that l usually mix it up next time and the next, just to get around to most over time. Way over 10 just bro and sis alone.

Had in mind 3 or 4 to call this yr, started the other night, brother first, the oldest, ldk, been trying to reconnect with him bc it's been a long time. Called him a few times this yr but when l called a happy Christmas, he was in a weird mood. Asked some weird things about my ex w too , and my d. Left me feeling v strange and it's stuck with me.

Next night, my oldest sister. She called me earlier in the yr been a long time and l was surprised how well we'd talked soooo, l made an effort.

She said some strange things to, they've also stuck with me since.

Soooo, l've thought now ok, done, no more efforts it's just too weird and l feel like l force it and l do have to or l just wouldn't. Don't even want to but l try. Why, God knows !!!! People only act weird when l do anyway mostly and then most of them are hardly beating the door down to call me .

Sooo, decided enough. No more this yr, tried 2 , got weird for my trouble with bot. both

lt'll be a very weird one over all for me though . Life is in a very strange place for me right now but there's no one to tell or talk to and Christmas is the last thing l feel like.

Ain't it so often the way, bizarre isn't it.

Re: Christmas isn’t my favourite time of year

booga — Tue, 23 Dec 2025 11:55:23 GMT

agreed. i was almost unable to get a doctors appointment for something that needed to be checked because of christmas

Re: Christmas isn’t my favourite time of year

randomxx — Tue, 23 Dec 2025 21:14:46 GMT

Went down to see my daughter and her new place yesterday, just renting that is.

Lovely place and area , she showed me round and we had Christmas Macca's and pressies ha ha. Was so good to see her happy and to just see her for awhile ofc to.

l'm happy now, no more for me this yr thk the Gods.

l'm stayin home tom Chrs' day, might even work ha ha , why not, l don't care. l'm not working now but have taken on just one job l've been doing the last mth or so. l need it finished in the next wk or so so l don't care had a beautiful day with my daughter that's all that matters, lt'll be so damn refreshing just skipping the rest of it this yr, feels great .

Hope everyone else can find the peace to.

Re: Christmas isn’t my favourite time of year

Emotions26 — Wed, 24 Dec 2025 00:31:29 GMT

A great point smallwolf and can relate to much of what others have written

I have had some lovely Christmas Days over my lifetime Random years different company How many? Far less than those where others have spoilt the day. Yes I know that I allowed this. At the time guards down , lacking energy to keep boundaries fortified I think that many know the drift

I have had far more disappointing, wretched, miserable ones sadly

Expectations, competing, Judgement, Eye rolling, exchanging glances,

Rush, rush, rush, rush to eat far too much rich food

Mad panic to get alarming number of presents

Can look like Santa's cave at my extended family place

I love to see the young children who are there happy and I tend to focus my energy and time on them

A great way to avoid those whose company I no longer wish to spend time in

Thank you seems to come very hard to more people than I care to think about.

It actually is not hard to pronounce and does not cost money Oh well Learn not to expect and work hard at not being disappointed Yes another strategy challenge

I also skilfully avoid sitting near to certain people

It is actually, thinking about it as I write, a strategic game of challenge and risk fraught with danger at every turn

I once spent a day having a picnic lunch in a park with a friend who had mental illness and his daughter would not invite him to her house to see his grandson which really hurt me thinking about that

There were four of us and it was so relaxing calming

This year recovering surgery so home alone Yes depression will arrive with tears flowing at some stage

I know that this is a possibility so I pass through the waves somehow and there is always tomorrow

Hope that is not too much Apologies if depressing

I have fatigue as well Just wanted to acknowledge and contribute

Cheers to you all however you spend your day

My belief do what you want, how you want and with or without whom you want

That is me this year

Ems

Re: Christmas isn’t my favourite time of year

randomxx — Wed, 24 Dec 2025 03:17:13 GMT

That 1st paragraph E, ain't that the truth. They pick it when your tired or not firing on all 8 but rather than an understanding smile they prefer a few forks instead, go figure !

Mine l'm lucky though l guess, for so many, there's only a 1 or 2, the rest are mostly pretty good and easy to be around even if it's been 5yrs they're pretty good like that mostly. 5 yrs , 6mths, no matter really. l only do the madness drives now and then bc it's the only way to catch them all in one place one time and then that can be that or it could be 10yrs.

Can't complain mostly though, some nice Christmas to over the yrs to, few crappy ones to but eh whatever .

Re: Christmas isn’t my favourite time of year

melodica — Wed, 24 Dec 2025 03:53:14 GMT

Hello all, first of all, I hope we can all make the best of Christmas, even if it is not the most fantastic time of year. In recent years, I have kept myself busy with choral engagements, allowing myself to feel the emotions associated with the holiday. I also try to remember that it will be over soon.

Re: Christmas isn’t my favourite time of year

Alikiwi — Wed, 24 Dec 2025 22:48:53 GMT

Hi Smallwolf,

I was thinking of making my own post but saw yours. For me, it's just another day, full of disappointment. Not one single card (I send out 4 to family), I hear and see no one. They can all go jump as far as I'm concerned. At least I have my cat, currently sitting on my lap. I would never have guessed at this stage of my life I would be totally alone, but at least it's peaceful.

Hope your day improves, tomorrow isn't far away.

Re: Christmas isn’t my favourite time of year

jj123 — Wed, 24 Dec 2025 22:10:56 GMT

hi small wolf,

im the same. i dont like xmas,its just another day to me.Evenn today a text not even a call from my mum,its so impersonal hey.

I have to exercise every day to lift my spirits and curb some anxiety,so a bit embarrassed to go out on own today, so blared some 80s music and rode exercise bike,feel a bit better...

yes,i feel its fake too.

For you mental health ,maybe feed some birds, go for walk in the great outdoors,i live near beach, sand between toes sun on skin always helps a bit. i purposefully walk on a dog beach sometimes when feel like a hug, some dogs just run up to you and jump on you, you feel loved haha.Animals help.

merry xmas and hope you feel a bit better as the day goes along.