topic Alone at 70 in Staying well

Alone at 70

Alikiwi — Fri, 27 Jun 2025 00:32:04 GMT

As you can guess I'm 70, but oddly find myself totally alone with no one to talk to. I've lived most of my adult life in NSW, but I have no family in this state by a bizarre twist of fate. Closest I have is a nephew in Melbourne and a daughter in Tassie who I very rarely hear from. I've also had 5 failed marriages, last one of 10 years ending last year after I packed her off back to the USA. Short version is she stayed in bed 23 hours every day doing nothing, got addicted to painkillers and even after doctors warned her off it and then proved there was nothing physically wrong with her, the GP still wouldn't force her off it. By that stage she had become abusive. I had 1 friend of 8 years in this small town but she passed away last month totally unexpectedly. The only other close friends are in another town, and any contact has to be done by me.

So, life is frustrating, and I only see people when I go shopping each week. Have a couple of good neighbours but rarely see them as they work and don't seem to be around much on the weekends either. So, there's my lot, and I'm wondering, why bother? Not sure this is the right place to post, so feel free to move it.

Re: Alone at 70

Ggrand — Fri, 27 Jun 2025 00:52:38 GMT

Hello Dear Alikiwi,

A very warm and caring welcome to the forums…

I will be 70 next year…I live away from my children and very rarely see them…since my husband passed away 13 years ago I I felt extremely lonely and worthless….no friends in this tiny village I live in…so I isolated myself from everyone not going out at all….before retiring age came I was told I had to volunteer x amount of hours per week to receive my job seeker benefits….which I did around 10? Years ago…

It was hard at first but I had to do it, so I stuck with it….retirement age came and went and I’m still volunteering at a well known charity shop…because it gets me out for a day and I made some nice friends….maybe volunteering yourself will help you in finding some friends…maybe if you have a men’s shed close by, volunteering their would be another option for you…also if you are passionate about any hobbies, you could ring your local council to find out if their is a group that you could attend if it’s close to you…

Loneliness is something I still struggle with at times, but thankfully not as bad as it used to be, when I just stayed home…

My kindest thoughts Dear Alikiwi…

Grandy..

Re: Alone at 70

Alikiwi — Fri, 27 Jun 2025 01:40:43 GMT

Thanks Grandy for your reply.

Actually I joined a bush walking club last year, and I do a walk about every 6 weeks, which go for 4 - 6 hours. Although 6 hours is too much I must admit, hence I skipped the last part of that one which would have added another hour. Being in the Blue Mountains those walks get extremely steep at times.

I'm just extra frustrated following yesterdays regular rental inspection as after 6 years in this house, and now on the third agent (same real estate), this one made a few complaints including cobwebs on one window I missed! What frustrates me, is the house is the tidiest it's been in 6 years, as I've cleaned up the ex's junk and sorted so much and never before had a single complaint! I've previously painted the ceiling in kitchen, dining room and lounge, and so far spent $700 adding insulation to the ceiling as it's cold in winter, dropping to 9C (inside) despite what I've done and running a wood burner 24/7 at the moment. We've had -8C here this winter, hence me feeling extra frustrated. Unfortunately that's not helping my blood pressure, but I dare say it'll settle down.

Hopefully just venting will help..

Re: Alone at 70

Ggrand — Fri, 27 Jun 2025 05:26:16 GMT

Hello Dear Alikiwi,

Well done on those bush walks…I doubt I would even last an hour….I know the blue mountains very well…I can’t give you my location but I’m a couple of hundred kilometres from them and I have also had extreme cold weather plummeting into the minus degrees nighty….Unfortunately I don’t have a wood heater and being aware of electricity costs, I’m really cold most days…not wanting to put my a/c or heater on due to how expensive they are to run…😢…I sit outside in the sun most days to warm up…following it around my house…😂😂..

I am lucky in that I own my own home…very small, bit dilapidated, in need of repairs etc…but very grateful it’s mine….you’re doing very well being able to paint a ceiling…I am to scared to climb a ladder…the first step is high enough for me…

Not sure if you know about aged care and the services available to us….I remember those 3/6 monthly inspections long ago when we were renting…so pleased that doesn’t happen to me anymore because I would definitely not pass them with my mh the way it has been and is…anyway, if you ring aged care and talk to them about there house cleaning service, before your next inspection maybe get them out to clean your home for you….Not sure if it works like lawn maintenance where I get enough vouchers for 9 grass cuttings….maybe they give you the same for house cleaning? It’s free and you use the vouchers only when you want to…maybe worth for you to talk to them..

Dear Alikiwi, please talk here anytime you’re feeling lonely or you just want to chat…we are all here for you, when we can be….

My kindest always Alikiwi…

Grandy..

Re: Alone at 70

Alikiwi — Fri, 27 Jun 2025 07:15:34 GMT

Hi Grady,

Actually cleaning isn't really a problem, if I remember! But shutting the bathroom door and a bedroom (that I don't use) to keep heat in the rest of the house tends to not remind me things need doing. Today it only got to 16C inside with the wood burner going 24/7. I also cut all my own firewood and in the past I've built my own 2 story house (also designed it myself) but a couple of divorces killed all that. However I'll keep the aged services in mind for the next inspection. Going to be lazy tonight and buy chinese take away for a change.

Re: Alone at 70

Alikiwi — Fri, 09 Jan 2026 12:25:10 GMT

I really do wonder what's the point. Short answer is, I have to feed the cat, otherwise I wouldn't bother. 2nd xmas totally on my own, frankly I hate xmas. As for aged service help, sure they said yes, but the paperwork says low priority, so in 4 months nothing has happened there.

3 months ago I was 1 and a half hour into a walk with the club when the arthritis in my shoulders became unbearable and I had to turn around and walk out. I can only do short walks now, preferable not longer than that, which I do on my own.

I am lumbered with my ex's junk, and do you think I can sell any? No, not a one. I've thrown out some small junk and given away some more useful things, but it's daunting. The house being 32C these last 2 days isn't helping either, over the last 2 years I've put insulation in the ceilings but that's only half done.

I'd love to step off this planet, but not while my cat is alive. She literally is my sanity these days.

Re: Alone at 70

randomxx — Fri, 09 Jan 2026 14:04:46 GMT

Hiya Alikiwi and grandy.

Sorry to hear mate things aren't feeling too nice lately. l'm about 10younger but l worry to lately bc there's a lot of loneliness and where l am isn't helping.

l guess you'd say l'm lucky to still at least have this place as back up after l got rid of my house 18mths ago, it's just a country block and v small cabin/wkender, in a very tiny town with only a pub. l've just held onto, it's been rented out all these yrs, never stayed here myself before now. When l got rid of my house l took off caravaning 12mths and now l've just come back to here for now.

lt's only been 5wks back but the idea was l'd stay here until l figured out a plan. Either build on this or sell if l could and try to find something better and more populated. Didn't make anything on the house so now there's only this place and so it's also a bit of a trial run coming back to it, if l liked it l could build a cheap house and live for free here. lt is a lovely block and spot but yeah it's also a tiny town and v lonely here. 50k to the main town,2 other tiny ones 20k.

Dk if there any nice single girls about as yet wouldn't be many if any though but a partner would really help if she like it here.

l was divorce 12yrs ago, been someone else last 7yrs but now that hasn't worked out.

Funny but not sorry but 2 brothers married Americans and they both also ended very badly too so your not alone so to speak.

Might be same for you and grandy to maybe but so far for me round here people all seem to be partnered up and just doing their own things within their properties/homes , if you see them at all, hardly see anyone out on the streets or anything. So in a way l'd love to just plonk here save and build a small house it'd solve everything but in the other ways it might well be signing life away to just this if l did and that'd be it.

Anyone walk the streets where you are , been thinking l should get out for some walks about , never know, hardly see anyone else though anyway so l dunno if it'd help much. l mainly go up to my main town for the day, get stuff and do thing or go to the beach.

Hang in anyway guys.

Re: Alone at 70

Alikiwi — Sat, 10 Jan 2026 09:07:37 GMT

Hi Randomxx

Sounds like a similar story. What gets me is never have a birthday or Xmas cards from my kids, yet before their mother left I always made sure they remembered hers. I always sent my parents cards back in NZ, up until they died. Don't know the answer probably as there isn't one.

Beach sounds nice, but 50 kms to go shopping, not so much. Country would be great except the isolation would be worse. Thanks for replying.

Re: Alone at 70

Alikiwi — Sun, 08 Feb 2026 08:03:32 GMT

6 years living here, had 1 visitor the entire time, apart from trades people. This is just the crappiest life ever. Only the cat keeps me going.

Re: Alone at 70

randomxx — Sun, 08 Feb 2026 08:54:00 GMT

Hi there op. Sorry to see things haven't improved.

ls it a tiny town where you are or ? If so do you think bigger towns and more population help? What do you think to Grandy if you happen to drop in or anyone else to for that matter ?

And do you think there are any other solutions where you'd feel would work better or help or ?

l ask for my own interest to on that bc this one where l'm still at is only of about 300 but no shops , just a pub that'll probably close down to soon l'm guessing.

To top it off l'm on 1/2 a hect and it's down a little side street, very pretty spot and block but any neighbours and other streets are through trees and over 100-200mtrs away. l've always loved a private home but in this situation for the first time in my life l think it's becoming a bit of a curse bc unless l go down and out the gate and walk up into streets and town, pretty well see no one. Or driving in and out your just through and out.

What's your situation there ?

l do have a brother 20k away and we're pretty good mates but his gf's just moved in so they're doing their own thing mostly now. My daughters just moved down closer to the city so she's 150k away now

Weirdly though, l grew up in Melb and always remember cities, l guess are better but they can be damn lonely places to sometimes.

l actually came in tonight to write a bit in my own thread about it and yours popped up.

Had one thought for you , what about applying public housing ? And if the town is tiny like here, you could look at somewhere bigger. Doubt there be the sort of RE stressors you get there either. Read here in Vic it can be a few mths to 2yrs wait depending on your situation but could be well worth it for you.

Take care both

Re: Alone at 70

Alikiwi — Sun, 08 Feb 2026 10:16:05 GMT

Thanks for the reply. Town of about 2000 so shops, 2 pubs (I don't usually bother with them) and chemist. Don't see moving as helping, I'm not a socialite and having moved more than 35 times, I'm seriously over that. Not sure what you're trying to say re Grandy? My bushwalking had to be curtailed, 1 and a half hours in on one and my shoulders were agony due to arthritis. I've done several on my own that don't exceed 2 hours total. On my own again.

Aged services rate me as low priority, so no help there. Don't know about public housing guess I could check into it. 1 and 1/3rd acres with a hand mower is a killer, waiting on ride on to be repaired, for SIX months! So utterly over it all.

Re: Alone at 70

randomxx — Mon, 09 Feb 2026 02:53:41 GMT

Hi again op.

Grandy ah, was just wondering her view on things to as it seems we're all in v similar situations. See she volunteered, couldn't be into that myself.

l'm on half a hect to here, funny, mowed this with my push mower to when l got back this yr. Moved a lot eh, same but not as many l'm so needing whatever l do next either here or wherever to be my last.

l do kayak , only hobby really apart from working on property and renos before. This one, l've had to come back to just 3mths ago when l lost on a bad deal in my old house , it only has a small cabin on it and l'm actually staying in a van atm, cabin needs work again now first so just trying to make up my mind about wth l wanna or even can do and just testing things here for a bit first.

lt's been painfully lonely here though and pretty sure l won't be staying. 50km drives to the man town to which is ok just for now but a few yrs of it and that'd be getting on my nerves.

This place isn't worth much even if l can sell it so l'll prob have to rent if l do wanna go somewhere else.

Been thinking about public housing myself too.

Re: Alone at 70

randomxx — Mon, 09 Feb 2026 08:49:07 GMT

Forgot to ask op, how do you find living on small acreage , does it help like you enjoy it, being out there and messing about or just the space, or not?

My ex w and l had small acreage lifestyle places, mind you, 12yrs ago now but l was thinking so ok l have to come over to this place now , might be nice , l could do stuff with it and enjoy some space again.

l do love roaming about on it and down out the front gate, lovely trees, drive, but l also really feel the loneliness on it by myself to it really seems to exaggerate it.

Re: Alone at 70

Alikiwi — Mon, 09 Feb 2026 08:59:31 GMT

Well you could do it up and improve the value, then sell it later if you wanted to, or make it decent to live in and again later you could sell it. I've built a 2 storey house myself and did the plans as well but a divorce destroyed that and never had the money to do another. Tried even to get onto mens helpline, but 45 minutes of waiting just is beyond my patience these days. Guess they're over worked as well.

Re: Alone at 70

randomxx — Tue, 10 Feb 2026 03:54:09 GMT

Sadly, mensline's had the gong these days, it helped me a lot when my marriage broke up back when. But these days, even if you do get through it's pathetic. They literally waste 5mins 1st of all squeezing your details out of you, very very mechanical and then, if you do wade through all that bs you'll get some woman saying ok, you've got 20mins, l hung up on the rude b.

Couldn't believe it l emailed to complain. Told them how they'd ruined what was a once great service, also of how rude the woman was and also asked why is there even a woman on there it's a mensline, especially such a rude one whom also has such little respect or sensitivity toward men.

Anyway, yeah. Have thought of something like that but the sort of thing l'd like to build and all l could afford anyway , would be great for me encase l had to or decided to stay, but not such a great reseller so from that angle, so ldk. Could use up what savings l do have for very little or no return , " if " l even could sell it later. So , don't wanna gamble on that one at this stage.

l built the cabin myself though and that was quite liveable where as now it needs some work to be back to that but l am tossing and might at least do that which could help the price and get it sold, so thinking about that.

Re: Alone at 70

Alikiwi — Tue, 10 Feb 2026 21:27:13 GMT

Funny you mention mens help line. I don't mind women answering, and I spent 2 days between beyond and lifeline to get referred to mensline and all that b/s to get a bloke who asked how could he hellp, AFTER I'd written all the details while waiting. If I knew the answer I wouldn't be there! The whole system is useless. No bloomin help at all. Can't wait to step off this miserable planet. Utterly over it all, oh and dating sites are full of scams trying to get money you don't have. Even if I did I wouldn't give any to a stranger. Internet has just created more evil in my opinion.

Re: Alone at 70

randomxx — Wed, 11 Feb 2026 03:31:18 GMT

Ah, so you wouldn't mind women, fair enough. Back when oh man 12yrs ago maybe, yeah it was only men on Mensline and at the time that's what l needed. You'd just call they'd answer and talk, it was v good and they were bloody helpful too.

The only one l find these days myself , so helpful and the way it still works to, is Lifeline. l even tried Beyond Blue a few mths ago and sorry BB but this guy spent 5mins trying to squeeze my details out of me 1st, it was ridiculous, l said to him so what, someone calls up suicidal and your gonna give them the 3rd degree for 5mins first - and l left the building in disgust.

Date sites man, wouldn't give up actually, try another one though. l've only just joined pof Aus and it's not bad. They seem to really go the scam on the Aus one l've only had a few, but l've talked to a few women and looked through a lot, most are real, plenty round your age bracket to.

Anywayyyy, l'm sorry about the way your feeling , never know what's round the next bend though that can change everything, chin up.