topic Re: need someone to talk to but am ok in Staying well

need someone to talk to but am ok

car10001 — Sat, 06 Jan 2024 06:58:33 GMT

hi everyone

am ok just reaching out.

was just wondering how people know and what they experience to know when it may be time to leave job (close that chapter) and move onto another (start the next chapter).

many of you lot know that am at some point wanting to give up hospitality and move onto other things while still capable and be own boss.

sometimes things happen or dont go how you expect and you tell yourself not much longer or something else and to just try and hang on.

will very likely be giving up hospitality as soon as it sells or closes as have other commitments and responsibilities and other work goals and feel after 14 years. nearly 15 that its time to take a break and move on and concentrate on those.

grandparents are needing help and needing to be able to help when needed and have local bingo commitments and want to do other work.

also the boss makes things in her shop and other friends try it and miss out and feel doing your own is only way and that am going to have to spend money that dont really have at moment to buy own kits and gear and supplies.

how do you find friends to share contents with and a place if you dont have your own place just yet without continually booking cabins (still book one maybe every few months but if its every week or fortnight costs add up).

what could you do to find the money.

just trying to hang on until place sells or closes and you keep telling yourself probably wont be much longer and to just hang on.

do feel positive that the other work is going to work out great however could be like a cousin with his shed building business and take a while to pick up.

sometimes you feel a little left out.

what could you do.

when you look up in google clues that a employee is about to leave or is thinking of leaving some sites list getting new certificates and education as one clue.

why would that be a clue when sometimes you can get further education and certificates to benefit your current job or other commitments, because of that you wouldnt think its always a clue.

thanks

Re: need someone to talk to but am ok

smallwolf — Sat, 06 Jan 2024 11:24:57 GMT

hello.

As someone that has changed jobs, moving from computing to something totally different ... it was when I lost passion for the job I had. It was also giving me anxiety attacks (mild?) each day when I started work. The stress levels were high (for me). I was grumpy. There were many other issues. This was happening for many months (perhaps building up over years).

And there is also fear about what to go to ... ? Which can be a different type of anxiety!

I also did more study before making that leap.

It is also not something I would do lightly either.

How are you feeling about your job?

Re: need someone to talk to but am ok

car10001 — Sat, 06 Jan 2024 12:42:05 GMT

what could you do.

when you look up in google clues that a employee is about to leave or is thinking of leaving some sites list getting new certificates and education as one clue.

why would that be a clue when sometimes you can get further education and certificates to benefit your current job or other commitments, because of that you wouldnt think its always a clue.

what could you do to find the money.

will be finishing up and closing that chapter as soon as the shop closes or sells and the owners moved out

Re: need someone to talk to but am ok

car10001 — Sun, 07 Jan 2024 12:45:54 GMT

this may or may not have been asked

what would be a solution to make some friends while working in a industry that works different hours to everyone else until am able to get out and get into a industry with better hours and that you are able to plan ahead and know when you work and not possibly be called in on days off.

how do you find friends to hang around with and friends to travel and see and whatever as am feeling left out.

just want some friends to go and do things with and am 40 in less than 5 years and feeling like its taking forever and is never going to happen.

what can be done to make things happen faster before being so desperate if things havent already headed that way.

what can be done until am out the current job which normally works different hours to everyone else and if the new owner wants to keep old staff or you get close to your 20 years how do you tell either owner you dont plan to stay and thank them for everything.

the food industry doesnt give much of a life and cant wait to get out and onto other things.

can understand why so many gave notice in the food industry in last few years after not being back for long after shutdown and would have done same if it wasnt for everyone.

how does someone survive those last weeks or last months or survive a notice period in work.

also some of you may know by now that am wanting to go onto other things for work.

you may or not know that the owner of the place am working at has it for sale and while it is sad have however accepted that after 14 years of 7 days a week (so far) that its time for them to do it and for some of us to do other things for work while we still can.

just trying to hang on

Re: need someone to talk to but am ok

One_More_Day — Mon, 15 Jan 2024 06:24:46 GMT

Hi Car1001,

The benefit of being old is you see how things turn out and one thing I know now, too late, is sticking to the one job makes your life easier as you get older. The people I see who are content and set up, stayed with the same job all the time, got better at it and now, pretty much can relax. So, stick with hospitality, there are infinite opportunities everywhere. Just do the day in day out, sounds tedious, it is, for everyone, but trust me, like compounding interest, it will pay off in spades in the future, which will come.

Keep it simple, stick with it. When it's hard, know it's hard for everyone, it really is, but each day you stick with it, the easier it becomes. I wish I took my own advice but because I didn't, I now have the wisdom to know, there is more value in staying with things.

OMD.

Re: need someone to talk to but am ok

car10001 — Tue, 16 Jan 2024 11:01:35 GMT

Hi Also am feeling like am a bit behind in work goals all because have done what boomers did with their jobs and stayed in the hospitality job for years and years instead of starting planning sooner. Would that be what you get for ignoring clues that it is time to think about moving on and just pushing through until you can’t stand it anymore or something else happens or both (boomers stayed in jobs for years and ignored clues and just kept going until they couldn’t stand it anymore or something else happens). Am a bit behind in work goals and just want to catch up and even that’s becoming too much to ask some days. How would you catch up on goals and commitments.

how do you survive a notice period or hang on for those last few weeks until sale or closure to finally be able to move on to something else as just want to move on and do something else

Re: need someone to talk to but am ok

WhyBee — Tue, 16 Jan 2024 12:44:08 GMT

I left my career as a software developer working for soul sucking insurance companies. The pay was good, but I didn't feel like it was adding value to my life, it was a means to an end, and it worked for a while until I got very depressed about work to the point I was in tears - which then I knew I had to quit regardless of the money.

Money does not buy happiness - learned through experience. Money is needed to survive, but quality of life, doing something that matters to you is also a part of taking care of yourself and many of us neglect it for the money.

I've since moved into field I love and was my passion. Since then I've workd some pretty stressful times, long hours, but 22 years on I am still in love with my line of work. It aligns with me, my interests and my talents.

I didn't transition right away I worked my normal job honing my skills starting up a side business until I felt that I could be hired full time.

Basically similar story to SmallWolf.

Re: need someone to talk to but am ok

car10001 — Tue, 16 Jan 2024 14:26:45 GMT

how do you hang on those last few weeks until sale or closure or survive notice period

Re: need someone to talk to but am ok

WhyBee — Wed, 17 Jan 2024 02:50:39 GMT

That's just it, you know you have to.. try to change your perception. Perception alters how you think about your situation and you can use this mind hack to let go of a lot of stuff to make it through the difficult period.

You know it will end, you can and will endure and then it will be done. A few weeks is not a lot of time. Make sure you look after yourself too - do things you enjoy, spend time with people that lift you up, take up meditation to help quiet the mind.

Also search for some of the topics you struggle with via Sadhguru : google, you tube - he has a lot of smart and wise ways of tackling perception shifts a lot of very good information in his talks on youtube. You may find some advice in there that helps you deal with things.

With catching up on goals prioritize the ones you will get peace from the most and tackle them. Goals should be reached for but you may not reach them - that is acceptance and everyone has to accept they can't do everything. That will bring peace. It is trying which is important. If you try then you have the chance to succeed, if you do not try for fear of not succeeding you have already failed.

As for meeting friends you can join local social groups - meetup.com has many doing activities you enjoy. Find common interests that you are passionate about.

Re: need someone to talk to but am ok

car10001 — Wed, 17 Jan 2024 05:49:06 GMT

How do you setup a meetup locally if there’s none in your area setup

Re: need someone to talk to but am ok

smallwolf — Thu, 18 Jan 2024 11:46:45 GMT

are you referring the meetup website/platform?

Re: need someone to talk to but am ok

One_More_Day — Mon, 22 Jan 2024 00:31:51 GMT

Good Morning Car1001,

Goal setting and budgeting doesn't make friends, but it puts you in control of your life.

What Beyond Blue, Lifeline etc, need to do to be effective in a real way, is to help us like a life coach helps. They are prohibitively expensive (money does make your world go round, I don't care what anyone says - poverty drives you crazy - it confines you). But goal setting and budgeting frees you, enough to go on and perhaps see a light.

The best thing about feeling stuck is unsticking yourself. The smallest actions make a huge difference.

When work is beyond difficult, depressing, pointless, can you take a break?

Money is a killer of course, living week to week is depressing and even goal setting and budgeting is hard without money. It really annoys me when people say it's not about money. Maybe not when you have it but when you don't, it's limiting.

When there is no one to enjoy life with, yes, it's lonely and you get tired of doing everything on your own, I sit in a cafe or take a bus or ferry somewhere - there are always others around and that can be enough, just to be out and amongst it. I can't give you advise on friends etc as we're similar there. Family is a good place for companions but not always an option.

I think advertising and television, movies, make us feel inadequate - they portray an unrealistic world, not the world as it is because no one would watch.

Pets are great if you can look after one.

Car10001, see if setting goals, one week; six months; one year; five; ten etc - google for guidance - might help clarify perspective on your life.

OMD.

Re: need someone to talk to but am ok

smallwolf — Tue, 23 Jan 2024 08:22:53 GMT

hi Car1001,

I agree with what OMD said in their post.

Even as people replying on a forum, I feel that we can make suggestions. With that said, it's understandable to feel unsure about when is the right time to move on from a job or career path.

Only you can decide what feels right, but some signs it may be time for a change include: no more opportunities for growth, mismatch between your values and the job, feeling unfulfilled or burnt out, or having new priorities pulling you in a different direction.

You might want to consider starting with small steps like researching options, networking, and acquiring any needed training or credentials. Patience and persistence are key. Trust your instincts. If something consistently feels "off" or not right anymore, don't ignore that feeling. Be kind to yourself through this process. At the end of the day... this is a very personal decision that depends on your unique circumstances and goals and only you can determine what feels right for you.

Re: need someone to talk to but am ok

car10001 — Tue, 23 Jan 2024 14:23:27 GMT

how do you meet a girl to hang around with and how do you set up a meet up if you live in a small town and theres none locally (atleast not that interests you) and nearest is in a capital city which could be 2 hours away.

How do you find and make the money for cabin stays and more spending money

Just want the feeling of own place and something permanent to go stay at and to be as well off as your about to be ex boss with somewhere permanent to stay.

Not as well off as sister will hopefully be in 12 months as she’s seeing someone and there’s hers and his income and am single and only 1 income.

Re: need someone to talk to but am ok

car10001 — Thu, 25 Jan 2024 11:48:39 GMT

Also want to ask What are ways to say to boss if you can no longer do certain hours due to other responsibilities and commitments and goals.

Just getting a bit tired of the hospitality work plus for example grandparents are needing more done as they are aging and need to be around as well and want to attend events and can’t because the hospitality industry works when those events are going plus done it 15 years and at a different chapter now and it’s time to close the last one.

now wont make it to australia day breakfast all because of starting earlier and was probably going to have enough time to eat there but not anymore and going earlier will be too early especially with the industry that am working in and the long hours.

how would you make more friends or ask people to join or get more events like that happening regularly in your area.

how would you have a place to be able to have people over without spending on cabins every time.

got a car that needs some work and repairs before planning a longer camping trip and cant afford everything it needs all at once.

how do you have people to go camping with.

how do you hang on just a little longer

need someone to talk to but am ok

car10001 — Sun, 04 Feb 2024 08:56:23 GMT

hi everyone

some of you may know some previous posts about getting out hospitality and move onto other things, the time has finally come but have a few questions because am going to have slightly less money for little while until the part time business is in place.

am planning to do electrical test and tag and minor repairs and also basic handyman and domestic antenna installation/repairs (to start with) but it may take a while for it to pickup.

was wondering how to make money for now until the part time business is in place, reason for asking is because lifestyle is too expensive for just income support but will survive short term.

can think short term of buying a few thrift store items and cleaning them and re selling, how do you get your items to sell fast and get buyers but for a decent amount and make something.

unless something else is found am going to be getting less money and just cant afford to not work.

it is sad but can understand why owners have put it on market, they been doing 7 day weeks for 15 years and its time has come.

reason for staying is because there currently wasn't any other option plus because of the owners and now that it has sold am having to work something out because it has been sold.

just want the problems sorted and to go away and to get money on top of centrelink.

was planning for this to happen in next couple years and to hopefully be out in next few years but it was a bit too soon and unexpected and now trying to work out something for someone with mild disability.

do plan and will be doing part time business but it may take a while and thinking of something for now until plan is in place, how do you work part time business so it doesnt affect income support as in australia you can work part time and do so many hours and earn so much before reduction.

am going through things and looking for someone to talk to.

thanks

Hey car10001, Thank you for posting here and for sharing...

Sophie_M — Mon, 05 Feb 2024 03:37:39 GMT

Hey car10001,

Thank you for posting here and for sharing what you are going through. You are not alone in feeling the increased cost of living pressure. It can have a huge impact on our mental health.

It sounds like you are linked in with Centrelink which is great. If you ever need urgent help, Moneysmart lists some support options for urgent financial support, as well as financial counselling services. There is also a great article here with practical tips on saving money and budgeting.

While we may not be able to offer specific financial advise, we are certainly here for support along the way. It sounds like you are incredibly resourceful and already have a few good ideas to earn some extra money.

Take good care of yourself during this challenging time

Kind regards
Sophie M

Re: need someone to talk to but am ok

smallwolf — Mon, 05 Feb 2024 11:24:54 GMT

Hey car0001,

Is the business shutting down while on sale?

the future sounds a little unknown as well.

I know that you want to get out of the hospitality industry. I wonder if there is something in that space you could do while you are studying? I don't know if that is even possible. And... as Sophie said, there is the cost of living pressure.

Not sure how this will make you feel, I want to commend you for hanging in til the end. I cannot remember your whole story and we can each have different perspectives... it can also be construed as loyalty and that is a rate quality these days. It can be something that is looked favorably upon by employers.

I'm back and listening...

Re: need someone to talk to but am ok

car10001 — Mon, 05 Feb 2024 16:26:06 GMT

How do you catch up on goals when you’re behind and just want to catch up all because you hung on until the end in your hospitality job which costed you time

Re: need someone to talk to but am ok

car10001 — Mon, 05 Feb 2024 17:00:15 GMT

Also how do you get the money to fix some things on your car that you feel more comfortable taking it on trips