topic Re: Seeking environmental silence when mentally ill in Staying well

Seeking environmental silence when mentally ill

white knight — Wed, 28 Dec 2022 00:00:18 GMT

In my 20's (I'm 66yo), I sought to be a hermit. It didnt work out, but it was a reflection of my desperation to leave society. I needed peace. Once I went from Melbourne to the Otway ranges, pitched a tent in the dark and woke up the next morning and my view was of a pine forest with timber workers along with the noise. I lost all hope of silence and tears fell.

Since then I've lived in the country mainly in small towns with the hope of a quiet lifestyle. I've learned however that where ever people are there is noise and holidays bring the dirt motorcycles and that rat-a-tat-tat all day. Most are on towns outskirts but some in the town itself on small blocks. These (often) city people if asked if they would like that noise next to them where they live they dont associate their city block with the same sized country block - odd.

Three years ago we found the balance. A town of about 4000 people. That size town usually has a hospital with after hours treatment, at least one large supermarket, medical services, vet and other services. It also has bylaws prohibiting such recreational vehicles within the town boundary. While building our kit house ourselves we resided in a caravan on the land and realised it was a quiet street not used as a through road for traffic and luckily quiet neighbours. We installed double glazed windows. We stumbled on the best mix.

Quietness is among the major needs of the mentally unwell and if loud and consistent enough will hinder recovery. It also can interrupt meditation periods. So my philosophy is "if you can't beat them... get away from them.

Any ideas on seeking a quiet life?

TonyWK

Re: Seeking environmental silence when mentally ill

Eagle Ray — Fri, 30 Dec 2022 03:59:43 GMT

Hi Tony

I very much relate to your post. I love “If you can’t beat them, get away from them”.

Since a child I’ve been hypersensitive to noise. We’d visit a relative’s farm once a year and other occasional country trips. On returning to the city my whole body would tense in response to traffic, noise, air pollution and the increasing presence of concrete, bitumen, building density etc. It was literally physiological overwhelm and I seemed to be the sensitive one in my family who longed to return to open spaces, greenery and peace and quiet. I really wasn’t going well as a child, so I think my nervous system knew it desperately needed the healing of a quiet life.

There is a practice in Japan called forest bathing - shinrin-yoku. Scientists have studied the effects on humans of being immersed in a forest environment. Literally it has been found to have multiple health benefits, including helping with immunity. It has positive effects on the lungs, heart and blood pressure, as well as mental well being.

I’m glad you’ve managed to find the right balance generally for a peaceful life, even if the dirt bikes etc are about at times. They are driven on the trails around my town too. But I find the ratio of that noise to the amount of peace I get is still vastly different to the city. Right now I can hear the breeze, cicadas and the hum of my fridge. I wouldn’t swap the relative peace I have now for the world and I know it is core to my recovery.

In terms of seeking a quiet life, I think it’s making a conscious decision like you have to find the level of quiet you need. For me, it also involves driving to favourite locations where I can immerse myself in nature, including rocky hills, the river, beaches etc. I’m lucky to live with a few options around me.

By leaving the city I’ve left behind higher paid job opportunities and city-based social activities but I don’t miss those things. I’m looking for just a simple job right now and that’s enough for me. I think valuing the simple things, along with slowing down, is also part of the blessing of a quiet life. A nice cup of tea while watching birds in my garden is the meaning of life to me.

Re: Seeking environmental silence when mentally ill

white knight — Fri, 30 Dec 2022 10:47:54 GMT

Hi Eagle Ray

We're on the same page.

I have a bird feeder and put out canary seed twice a week.

We are also 35 minutes from a quiet beach or two. Heaven

TonyWK

Re: Seeking environmental silence when mentally ill

Guest_1584 — Fri, 30 Dec 2022 12:09:01 GMT

Hi Tony and ER.

Just first up , the forest study ER. You know, boggles the mind at the studies they do now and if it was anyone else bar Japan, l'd laugh it out of the water . Just for the fact that humans and modern living have become so disassociated from nature , that they actually need a study just to tell them how important and incredibly beneficial it is. Just sad isn't it.

Anyway , thanks for the thread Tony , always inspired seeing your experiences . Those bikes would've been maddening. We use to be riding through the bush - horses, with nothing but sounds of hooves the houses breathing, birds and nature but then , boom. Out of no where come 10 screaming dirt bikes.

Peacefulness yeah, you bet. l grew up in Melbourne left 20yrs ago and when l go back now ER summed it up. But it's 20x busier now than when l left and the traffic and trucks l dunno, are humans really meant to live like that , not this one anyway. l find it so overwhelming now when l'm finally back on the why outa there it's a 1hr40 stretch until l begin to feel safe and peace again and l can never wait. There's one turn of that l reach and when l do ahhh, l'm coming home.

l loved loud music grew up on it and for yrs after and l didn't mind hustle and bustle and life around, people but these days l can't deal with it.

My place here is the last house of town with 3000 ac cross the road. Fog and beautiful air roll across from that land and all over my place and the town, no words.

6yrs at this house and l still go out to look from the porch early morning or late at night or any chance l get even for just a few minutes, just to soak it in or walk on the grass or around my new trees.

That's my peace.

Re: Seeking environmental silence when mentally ill

Eagle Ray — Sat, 31 Dec 2022 01:52:01 GMT

Hi Tony and randomx

It’s nice to read both your accounts of a peaceful life.

I’m glad you have the birds and beaches too Tony.

Randomx what you describe with the fog reminds me of something I experience here. Sometimes, often when it’s fairly still, a sea fog will just gently role over the land. It will come in through open windows and doors as this incredibly fresh air that feels as pure as air could possibly be. It’s like a cleansing tonic. There’s a sudden temperature difference and you can feel it on your skin. When you say “no words” I know what you mean.

And I also really get what you’re saying about leaving the city and that feeling of a shift in yourself once you’re a certain distance out of it. It’s like the feeling of being able to breathe easy again and tension and stress felt in the city just falls away. It’s freedom! And it’s so good you get to soak in all the goodness of your home and surroundings.

Re: Seeking environmental silence when mentally ill

white knight — Sat, 31 Dec 2022 05:04:43 GMT

I was only 25yo when I made the transition from a negative to a positive person-

30 minutes can change your life - Beyond Blue Forums - 154525

Soon after I met a neighbour that introduced me to guru Prem Rawat "Maharaji". So I took my favourite video of his to a nearby hill and proceeded to watch the sunset. I remained still for 2 hours on a large rock when a wild bird landed on my shoulder then flew away. Uncontrollable but beautiful tears.

Maharaji: Sunset - YouTube

Then I returned home to read more, an amazing man with the connection I needed.

PREM RAWAT -"When You See A Sunset"- Excerpts from Current Talks: 2003. (wordpaint.com)

I learned there was beauty all around.

TonyWK

Re: Seeking environmental silence when mentally ill

Eagle Ray — Sat, 31 Dec 2022 10:16:57 GMT

That’s beautiful about viewing the sunset Tony.

On the topic of moving from negativity to positivity, I’ve read a bit by the psychologist Rick Hanson on the human tendency towards a negativity bias. He describes how it’s like we have Velcro for the bad experiences and Teflon for the good ones. We tend to a remember a single bad thing that happened during the day even though we may have had several good experiences that day. He describes this as a kind of innate survival response to remember the bad thing as we don’t want it to happen again and to be able to avoid it in the future. But that through things like mindfulness meditation and gratitude we can enhance our positivity and counter negativity bias. I think just being immersed in nature and peaceful places can really help in that process.

Re: Seeking environmental silence when mentally ill

white knight — Sun, 01 Jan 2023 05:18:11 GMT

Velcro and Teflon... love those metaphors. In fact metaphors help clarify what can be confusing to us. I can think of depression that people suffer and struggle to make meaning of it.

Depression...a ship on the high seas - Beyond Blue Forums - 67373

When I swapped negative to positive some 40 years ago now (sheesh), I also had to accept that being depressed wasnt included in the transformation but coming out of depression when I was much better and not motivating myself, was indeed negative.

Depression and the timing of motivation - Beyond Blue Forums - 149708

Focusing on a bad event to prevent further bad events is so interesting.

TonyWK

Re: Seeking environmental silence when mentally ill

Guest_1584 — Sun, 01 Jan 2023 10:56:42 GMT

Hi Tony and Er

Those ocean mists are incredible , so magical l know exactly what your talking about ER . We use to live in a beach house just loved being out on the deck and watching it , feeling it, roll through the town.

And yeah leaving the city, exactly, beautiful freedom again exactly as you describe. Only when l reach that 1hr 30-40 mark and make that turn off do l feel it. With a good run some evenings l sometimes get there even sooner, an hr 10-20. But l'm way too flustered and worn out to rush it by then so l get there when l get there but when l do, ahhhhh.

And sunsets , yeah. They have another so special all their own feel again don't they and l just adore the feeling of the day coming to a close into darkness and peace.

Re: Seeking environmental silence when mentally ill

Eagle Ray — Sun, 01 Jan 2023 12:57:18 GMT

Hi Tony and RX

I can really relate to both of those posts you linked to Tony. I loved the metaphor of the ship. I often feel I’m lost at sea, regain some direction from a rudder and orientation from a map, only to get somewhat lost again. But I do feel less rudderless and mapless than in the past and feel like I’m making the odd sojourn back onto land. In fact, I think I was born on a ship at sea, so the land is pretty alien but I’m trying to get to know it and it’s becoming more familiar.

And the post on the timing of motivation feels very relevant to me right now. I struggle on the fence between knowing when I’m biting off more than I can chew (attempting motivation) or whether at times I really need much more rest and recovery. I try to listen to my body for the answer. I have friends coming to stay tomorrow and I’m in a vulnerable spot at the moment. I wondered if I should ask them not to come or motivate myself to have guests. But they are the kind of friends I can burst into tears in front of and they’d be fine or cook them just a basic meal and they’ll appreciate it. There’s others I know it isn’t possible to be safely vulnerable with. So think it will be all ok.

And RX I love your description of the close into darkness and peace. I have a favourite rocky hill I like to watch the sunset from. Quite often I’ve stayed into nightfall when the stars are coming out. I just love it.

Re: Seeking environmental silence when mentally ill

white knight — Mon, 02 Jan 2023 06:53:32 GMT

I'm enjoying this chat RX and ER.

ER, It took me decades to realise the fact that I have the right and the ability to "go with my own flow". eg

When worrying about other people making decisions like distancing themselves, cutting contact etc- I can make my own decisions on that and also- when I am comfortable doing so
Eliminate obligation to others. Obligation mean responsibility and possibility of missing that obligation leading to guilty and/or conflict. https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/guilt-the-tormentor/td-p/321604
Beware those that have expectations based on their own standards which isnt a flexible attitude. We need flexibility in our lives because our mental health is not stable.
Develop strength to counter forceful attitudes. Eg if Ukraine rolled out the red carpet to Russia that doesnt mean their lives would remain safe. So if we are appeasing all that does is send a signal to the stronger one that you can be dominated.

With your guests you might feel better about their presence once they settle into conversation.

This thread might help you with motivation-

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/motivation-search-and-rescue-it/td-p/38279

"magical"... thats the key words with sunsets etc

TonyWK

Re: Seeking environmental silence when mentally ill

Guest_1584 — Mon, 02 Jan 2023 10:55:05 GMT

Same here Tony and ER

Does anyone love their trees , trees are just so human , and the birds that play in them such characters too.

Another peace of mine are trees, so special, l'm tree hunger from before the term was even invented l think , my whole life.

l've only got 3 or 4 here 2 new ones but the other two l saved and rescued. Poor things were just clumps of nothing untidy ugly no shape. l cut them back and started shaping them and now one of them has long 3mtr limb and winds and curls all over the place and the other is now a beautiful weeping bottle brush 6mtr wide right in front of my porch. The yard and front went from the ugliest duckling in the street to this almost havenish feel now with the porch l built and these two now gorgeous trees.

love feeling tree branches and leaves and watching them , sitting under them , brushing past them, watching all the birds and their antics.

The calm that comes from trees , even in a park or anywhere , sometimes l think they watch over us.

Re: Seeking environmental silence when mentally ill

white knight — Tue, 03 Jan 2023 04:13:51 GMT

Hi RX

Yes, I like trees. I owned a property in central Victoria which backed onto a river where 4 huge redgums were. I reckon they were at least 300 years old. On one there was scrapings and a local told me likely indigenous peoples made them before white man arrived- how cool.

Now with a town block and a house we built ourselves 3 years ago, we planted my favourite tree- 3x crepe myrtle. Love the smooth tan and cream bark and the flowers.

Birds? well have been feeding them for years with our wooden bird feeder. Here in Western Victoria we get sparrows of course and waiting for parrots to come. Black cockatoos fly overhead

TonyWK

Re: Seeking environmental silence when mentally ill

Doolhof — Tue, 03 Jan 2023 06:23:07 GMT

Hi Tony and all reading,

This is a very calming discussion, I am pleased I have found it.

We live in a small town which unfortunately has a very busy highway running through the middle of it, so it is not at all quiet. I have been known to put ear muffs on to sit in the garden and enjoy the view.

I enjoy a walk at sunrise and there is one dirt road and farmers track I can wander along, when I have proceeded far enough, the traffic noise is faint, I then concentrate on the birds and appreciate their song.

Some days when I am craving quiet, I will drive my car to a dirt road somewhere, or to a pine forest, anywhere I can have a couple of hours of non human noise.

Re: Seeking environmental silence when mentally ill

white knight — Tue, 03 Jan 2023 10:11:20 GMT

Hi Dools

Yes, and you also mention your trips on the beach.

Think sometimes a boat in the middle of the ocean would be peaceful but so scary I wouldn't enjoy it!

Man made noise, buildings, roads etc can turn us against civilisation..

TonyWK

Re: Seeking environmental silence when mentally ill

Doolhof — Tue, 03 Jan 2023 20:36:35 GMT

Hi TonyWK and all,

My sister has a kayak she takes on reservoirs and into little creeks and waterways. The peace and tranquillity she has in those places would be amazing.

I was out walking recently and came across a slow flow of water in a narrow creek. It was lovely to just sit there for a while and watch the calmness of the water.

The beach is also a calming place for me.

I have found some dirt roads on my way home from work which seem to have very little traffic . A walk there is quite calming after a busy day at work.

Even Googling places of nature on a stormy day when I don't feel like venturing out is calming.

Wishing everyone some peace and calmness. Regards form Dools

Re: Seeking environmental silence when mentally ill

Eagle Ray — Thu, 05 Jan 2023 01:12:32 GMT

Hi All

Dools I really liked your description of the calm body of water. I too love to stop on a walk at a place like that and just feel the peace. It can be quite transformative. I relate too to googling nature places. I’ve enjoyed doing this for places from all over the world that I may not get to visit but it’s like still getting a feeling of peace and renewal from seeing amazing natural environments, and wildlife from across the world too.

RX I couldn’t agree more that trees are like people. Each one is its own unique character. And what you say about them watching over us really resonates too. I walk in bushland near me where it feels exactly like that. There is like a feeling of ancient wisdom in the trees and a protective, comforting energy.

And thank you again Tony for your helpful insights. I’ve definitely done too much appeasing of others in the past. It’s not good. I’m gradually learning to set my boundaries. I’m finding this disappoints some others who have been used to getting their needs met through me, but I’m learning that taking care of my own well being first is necessary. I think one reason nature and peaceful places mean so much to me is that that they provide a sanctuary from the human world that has often felt intrusive to me. Nature just holds you with an unconditional presence - and that’s in all its moods and seasons. It’s safe and reassuring for me.

Re: Seeking environmental silence when mentally ill

Doolhof — Thu, 05 Jan 2023 10:14:03 GMT

Hi Eagle Ray and All reading,

While out in nature I like to take photos on my phone of the amazing nature around me. I try to find something different and unique. It helps me to "Really see" what is before me.

I also like to look back at those photos during my lunch break at work, especially so on a stressful day. I have a reminder right there of how beautiful and amazing our world can be.

In the past I have borrowed books form the library that contain large photos of nature. Some people have captured amazing images.

Even in a busy city, you can capture glimpses of nature, street trees, plants in people's gardens, looking up at the sky and seeing the clouds, watching birds flittering about the place, visiting a park when possible, even most weeds have flowers, some of those are very pretty.

Re: Seeking environmental silence when mentally ill

white knight — Fri, 06 Jan 2023 01:21:02 GMT

Hi all

Coincidentally we are all describing observations and feelings not involving modern civilisation, the nature world.

Some of you might already know but as a boy raised in the western Subs of Melbourne every xmas we flew to Tassy where I loved milking cows with pop and hay carting. Then return to the concrete jungle and school full of city attitudes. At 23yo working as a warder in a major jail my brother took his own life and I set off on my motorbike in the first of 5 trips over 7 years - to the mountains. On each occasion I believed I would ditch the bike and live in the bush- like a hermit with no intention of connecting with people or shops or anything manmade. If that meant stealing for food or shelter etc so be it.

Obviously I was in severe depression and had no clue I carried mental illness which was diagnosed some 30 years later! After 4-6 days I realised I'd never survive in the bush, I'd likely end up doing what me brother did. So I'd return to the city eventually with a plan, to meet myself half way- a little cabin in the country. By then as a PI, I worked alone in my own business with little human contact.

So I found my compromise. Perhaps thats the answer for many people that have anti civilisation feelings and need some connection to the wonder of nature.

TonyWK

Re: Seeking environmental silence when mentally ill

Guest_1584 — Fri, 06 Jan 2023 02:58:15 GMT

Hi to all and just a quick one here l'll have to come back later.

But yeah the nature thing is a huge one alone isn't it and worthy of a book for sure and it looks like we're all nature adorers here .

l mean it's not my only thing but affection , infancy, sitting in silence, peace and escape within my castle haha, music or movies at the right time , the water l canoe also.

But l do believe nature is the cure for the world and the human condition as we've all become in it, even power.

Nature, is the complete opposite, opposite, to everything the worlds and people, the way most live, the directions the world is pushing people into and it's own directions has all become and are becoming , and all that is only just beginning.

Sadly everything in what the world is doing goes against nature , for people and living and the planet

lt's such a shame and is all so wrong but l suppose all we can do is give ourselves and loved ones what we know we need and at least try to point our own personal worlds in the right direction for us,

Think if l was 15 again l'd be doing a Greta traveling the world attempting to convert and turn it all around.