topic 24. And using cocaine daily. in Staying well

24. And using cocaine daily.

Ashamed H — Tue, 15 Oct 2019 17:15:36 GMT

Hi I’m not too sure where to start here. I was mainly looking for a 24 hour text/helpline but I couldn’t find any running at 3am.

a brief run down of my situation, I have been using cocaine recreationally during the weekends on and of for 2/3 years and didn’t feel dependent or like I couldn’t control my use.

but the last 6 months has seen my use get to the point that I’m $15k in debt to some less than pleasant people. The last 2 months I’ve been using a gram a day minimum and ince I start I can’t stop until I either have no money or run out of cocaine.

I feel so ashamed every time I take it and I don’t think I even feel any “buzz” or pleasure from taking the drug anymore it’s purely become a bad habit, well addiction.

so far I have kept it hidden from my family and have only reached out to a few close friends but even then I feel like a burden. I want to stop. But it has such a grip on me now that it is all I care about.

my two questions I have are they’re any cocaine anonymous classes in Brisbane,

and should I tell my parents I need help.

I haven’t told my parents due to my mothers brother dying from cocaine over dose.

and I know that would break her.

please anyone that can assist even if it’s a coffee and chat. I’m almost at the point where I’m close to the edge.

I’m a 24 year old professional. ive got a fantastic just in finance and I’ve already been given final warnings due fo being too much of a mess - and unless I change or find help soon I can only see it with me loosing everything, job, family, car friends.

somebody please I just need some guidance - and hard truth.

thank you

24. And using cocaine daily.

blondguy — Tue, 15 Oct 2019 18:10:04 GMT

Hi H

Welcome and good on you for having the strength to reach out to the forums...We are a support forum that can be here for you as addiction is very common...however.... your well being is paramount the quickest way to obtain the best possible outcome would be to call our friends at....

Lifeline : 24/7 on 13 11 14 (There are wonderful caring people here that can help....always non judgemental)

Family Drug Helpline - 1300 660 068 available 24/7

Kids Helpline 24/7 on 1800 55 1800 and have super understanding people that can help point you in the right direction in QLD...I know you arent a kid H...you are a young professional.....Our friends here are excellent with helping young adults

I am sad for you and your mum with the loss of her brother..

Can I ask if you were a parent.....would you want your son to let you know? (just a thought if thats okay)

Please dont feel ashamed H....You have more strength than you know...especially after reading your post...you are an excellent communicator

The numbers I have provided above will help you in a confidential and non judgemental way....Thats why they take calls 24/7. you have everything to gain and nothing to lose by calling one or all of them :-)....at least you will find some peace with the care they provide not to mention a better focus on the help thats available in your area

I admire your attitude H

If you wish to post back there are many kind people that can be here for you H

my kind thoughts

Paul

24. And using cocaine daily.

sparrowhawk — Tue, 15 Oct 2019 21:32:08 GMT

Hi there. You are very courageous to share your story so openly; thank you.

Paul has given great recommendations which I really agree with. I truly encourage you to seek help as you desire to do.

The shame caused by drug use and drug addiction would be very crippling. I am so sorry you are in such a situation and are feeling so ashamed. Just remember that this addiction does not define you. You are worthwhile and loved; you are so much more than your addiction. Additionally, your concerns regarding protecting your parents, especially your mother, show you to be a caring and compassionate person. The fact that you want to stop is a huge step, but pulling yourself out of an addictive cycle does take effort and support.

24. And using cocaine daily.

Wazowski — Tue, 15 Oct 2019 23:10:31 GMT

Hi Ashamed H,

I would also like to acknowledge your courage in sharing your story so openly and honestly, and reaching out to our community for help. It sounds like your cocaine addiction has been quite crippling, and has started to affect several aspects of your life. I’m sorry that things have gotten so unbearable for you, but I’m really glad to hear that you would like some help. The first, and hardest step to change is acknowledging that there is a problem, and you have done this. Paul recommended some great helplines for you, which I definitely agree can be helpful. There is also the Hader Clinic in Brisbane, which is a mental health and addiction specialist. You can call them on 1300 856 847 for a consultation about the next steps to take. I’m also not sure how helpful this is, but there is a website which provides contact information for Cocaine Anonymous Meetings around the world. There is a number for Australia that may be useful? https://ca.org/meetings/

A very important aspect of recovering from an addiction is to have support. It’s great that you have reached out to some close friends who you trust. Your family may be another source of support for you, however that is a decision only you can make.

I wish you all the best, and please feel free to chat to us about anything else that’s on your mind, or to let us know how you're going with it.

Wazowski

24. And using cocaine daily.

geoff — Wed, 16 Oct 2019 00:42:36 GMT

Hello Ashamed H, we appreciate the courage you have shown and thank you for posting your thread, and as Paul and Sparrowhawk have shown, we do want to help you as much as we can and provide you with all the information that suits you.

Sometimes addiction just happens for no particular reason as it pleases us as to what may happen, it gives us a feeling of satisfaction, however, it gives us the physical inability to stop it and that's where the problem is because we have the expectation that it will provide the cushions we want to fall back onto.

Your doctor will be able to prescribe a medication that can stop the urge to want to use it but it will only work if that's what you want to do.

It's also used for people who want to stop drinking, I can't mention its name, but I have been prescribed it.

Hope you can get back to us.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

24. And using cocaine daily.

Ashamed H — Wed, 16 Oct 2019 14:06:43 GMT

Thank you all for your support, I think the hardest step for me will be making the initial call - I’ve acknowledged I have a problem but I think opening up will be the hardest - I wasn’t aware they had medication to help with the cravings I’ll speak to my GP, I never thought I’d be the person with addiction and honestly it’s been a eye opener, and it’s incredibly sad the stigma addiction has, and I was like that when I was younger. The whole “they got themselves in that mess” - somewhat true but once it’s at the point that I’m at now a daily addiction you don’t want to do it for fun/recreation whatever, it’s like you mind is forcing you to do it. Once I am able to get clean I really hope that the stigma changes and more support provided as a national health issue. Saddest part is the guilt their is no pleasure from my use anymore.

I feel as if I have failed as a man.

24. And using cocaine daily.

Guest_9462 — Wed, 16 Oct 2019 14:44:53 GMT

Hi ashamed H...it's a good thing you wanto get help,cause I've seen and known people in a similar position..now, I would call the Salvation army in your area, they have a detox and good counciling service ..also give FOOTPRINTS in Brisbane a call during the day and ask for a social worker and some support..they also have groups now too...also there's narcotics anonymous groups....the salvos have lots of contacts..I would seek a social worker to help you achieve your goals, and get you into places...hope that helps...

24. And using cocaine daily.

geoff — Wed, 16 Oct 2019 15:35:56 GMT

Hi Ashamed H, you can't say that you've failed, no one could ever say they're perfect, one way or another, we all slip up, whether it's major or only minor, but having an addiction is where we can't initially stop what gives us pleasure whether it's chocolate, alcohol or taking drugs.

I'm pleased you'll be visiting your doctor and you're right, this is something you can't do as a recreational past time unless you are strong enough because many addictions are so powerful.

Can I just say that relapses may occur, that's not losing the battle, in fact, what it does is build up more resistance eventually.

You can contact these places for support including a psychologist your GP recommends

-https://au.reachout.com › tough-times › addiction

-https://www.healthdirect.gov.au › cocaine

-https://www.thecabinsydney.com.au › cocaine-addiction-treatment

-https://www.addictioncenter.com › drugs › cocaine

-https://www.stopcocaine.com.au

I hope these might help you and we are very keen to know how you are going.

Take care.

Geoff.

24. And using cocaine daily.

romantic_thi3f — Thu, 17 Oct 2019 00:53:49 GMT

Hi Ashamed H,

It's good to see you here and I can see that so many people have offered their support already.

I just wanted to share one other resource for you, which is a 24/7 service (which is what you were looking for). They specialise in drug/alcohol counselling and are completely free.

https://www.counsellingonline.org.au/

If you're looking for a phone number to ring - their number list is here -

https://www.counsellingonline.org.au/how-we-can-help/telephone-support

I hope this helps. I understand the phone call or visit to your GP can be the hardest so reaching out online can be an awesome first step.

24. And using cocaine daily.

Guest556 — Thu, 23 Jan 2020 13:19:20 GMT

I’ve found all hotlines to be supportive empathetic and sympathetic but not productive or useful. You won’t find any chat groups or useful “real life “ experiences/ info on the web. All government funded/ screened/ dictatated. Someone needs to start a real life forum, guaranteed free from government departments. Till then it’s friends and family x

24. And using cocaine daily.

Ashamed H — Tue, 17 Mar 2020 05:04:43 GMT

Hi everyone, sorry it’s been so long I have been really trying to focus on staying clean and paying. Back debts to some dodgy people.

firstly thank you all for your support and kind words it really does help - I didn’t get the courage to reach out to a call line or service or my family as I new it’s would break my mothers heart. That’s mainly what gave me the strength to do it for her.

I also have amazing friends that although they dabble noticed my decline and helped me to get back on track. I’m slowly paying off the gangsters I owe and luckily haven’t had any trouble with them yet....

I do still need to find the courage to speak to someone or potentially seek some kind of withdrawal medicine as I still think about it everyday and would have no self control if I was to go to to pub or have a drink.

Since october I think I’ve cut down on my daily habits.

I already feel more refreshed and focused and mentally so much more stable compared to how I was back last yeah almost suicidal.

im not going to fool myself and say I’ll never touch it again because I believe I will on occasion but at least now it’s when I chose within a safe social environment not the drugs choosing me everyday.

hopefully one day I’ll never feel the urge to have it. I don’t want to bring up a child who’s dads a coke head.

honestly you’ve all helped so much thank you all!

Re: 24. And using cocaine daily.

Ashamed H — Sun, 16 Oct 2022 19:15:19 GMT

Well 3 years since I first posted about my initial battle with addiction unfortunately a few personal factors triggered my downward spiral.

long story short I lost my banking job that I’d studied and worked so hard to get. And wound up in jail on remand for 9 months.

I came out of jail determined to stay of drink and drugs and was able too for about 10 months but unfortunately I’ve found myself slipping up again.

I’m in much better headspace than when I first posted on here no more suicidal thoughts. But I’m not sure if it’s because I feel like I have nothing to loose anymore.

I’ve been trying to get back to normal work life routine but it’s hard as all my formal qualifications and experience are in a industry I’ll never be able to work in again so I feel a bit lost.

I feel determined to not let my addiction win as I’ve seen how bad it can get so quick.

I have also been using my time whilst unemployed looking into starting a charity to support people like me to try and save them before they hit rock bottom. I certainly never imagine I’d go from being a relatively financially stable young professional to jail but here we are.

I am feel I have to share my story with people who had a similar situation as I did at the start of my addiction, if I can help even one person with their addiction and that helps them avoid getting into a situation where they loose everything like I did then I will feel like I have finally won my battle with addiction.

Re: 24. And using cocaine daily.

Croix — Mon, 17 Oct 2022 10:16:50 GMT

Dear AH~

(no, Id prefer not to use your full name as it is looking back and I think you are starting to look forward)

Welcome back, it is a pity it is is these circumstances, but you are among friendly folk.

Yes, I'm afraid there is a domino effect, the cocaine, the debt, job loss, for some family loss plus trouble with the law.

You have experienced it all and I'm sure at times see no way to retrieve the sort of person and life you had. However you are drawing from all that ,and combined wiht a caring nature (your talk of your mum shows that) you are trying to avoid places where temptation is high and want to help others.

That's not a bad start.

Incidentally do you have a family of you own? You did mention bringing up a son.

There are an awful lot of people for whom a surprisingly small amout of guidance and encouragement can make all the difference

I think if you can start even a small group that is a great idea, and if it turns into a charity so much the better.

Do you have any ideas on how to start it off?

Croix

Re: 24. And using cocaine daily.

Bob_22 — Mon, 17 Oct 2022 09:52:10 GMT

Hi AH,

Thank you for the update and I'm so sorry to hear about the struggles you're going through. That being said, you sound incredibly resilient and seem to be looking forward as Croix suggested. What a great idea to help others who might have a similar story to you. I know how merciless addiction and incarceration can be, especially when it ruins employment opportunities so I can't imagine what it must be like for you. But please remember you're not alone. I know from my previous work in youth mental health that we had social workers and vocational workers who could help our young people with employment. I'm not sure how it works for over 25's but do you have a GP you could chat to about potentially getting a referral to social and/or employment support worker? Keep us updated and thank you again for sharing your story. It is all too common and very touching when someone like you shows leadership.

Bob