topic Happy Mother's Day 2020 in Staying well

Happy Mother's Day 2020

Doolhof — Fri, 08 May 2020 22:50:46 GMT

I wasn't sure where to post this, as "Mother's Day" could come under many different headings depending on what the day means for the individual.

Corona Virus has added another twist to Mother's Day.

This is an opportunity for people to express their feelings about Mother's Day.

It may be a chance to send a greeting to a Mum who is no longer in your life, a message tot he Universe perhaps.

You might have a fond memory of your Mum you would like to share, or of any female you have a close connection to like a Mother figure.

For some it may be a time of grief and loss, either in relation to your Mum or to children who are no longer with you.

For me, I will be phoning my Mum, going to work and will spend some time thinking of my babies in Heaven.

I will remember fond moments with my Mum and memories of a very special lady "J" who was a gift of love in my life.

I will recall happy moments with other people's children over the years and how precious those times were.

I will be working, so I will try and make Mother's Day special for those I will be working for and with.

For those who celebrate Mother's Day, I wish you a special day. May you be able to embrace and accept this year will be different but it can also be okay.

Kind regards from Dools

Happy Mother's Day 2020

Summer Rose — Fri, 08 May 2020 23:21:08 GMT

Hi Dools

Thanks for your post, a great reminder of our shared humanity. And a much needed reminder of what's really important in life, the people we love.

I'm going to take the opportunity to comment on the vital role my mother played in my life. She taught me to believe in myself, work hard in life and stand on my own two feet.

She pushed me to attend university. She encouraged me to take chances. She supported my choices in life.

I lost her in February this year and my heart still aches but after watching her battle cancer for the past 8 years, I am grateful that she can now rest. I am proud of the way she lived throughout her 81 years on the planet. And I am comforted to know that she did not go on alone, she had the love of her children and granchildren around her to smooth the transition.

To all the mothers, both here and departed, I honour your achievements, accept your mistakes and praise your daily efforts.

Kind thoughts to you

Happy Mother's Day 2020

Doolhof — Sat, 09 May 2020 08:07:21 GMT

Hi Summer Rose,

Your Mum's death may still be very difficult for you. Sounds like she was a loving and caring Mum.

May happy memories be with you.

Kindest regards from Dools

Happy Mother's Day 2020

quirkywords — Sat, 09 May 2020 08:23:05 GMT

My mum died 19 years ago on Mothers day so each year mothers day reminds me of her.

My children contacted me tonight as mothers day is not a big deal in our family.

I feel sorry for the children who don't have mothers and the mothers who don't have children who visit or call or those who have lost children.

It is a joyful day if you ignore the commercial part.

Thinking of all those who are grieving.

hanks Mrs Dools.

Happy Mother's Day 2020

Doolhof — Sat, 09 May 2020 11:14:49 GMT

Hi Quirky,

Hope you have some very special memories of your Mum and you have a nice day tomorrow somehow.

A couple of friends have phoned me tonight, I am very appreciative of that. They know how much I grieve for my children on Mother's Day, and leading up to Sunday as well.

My husband decided to spend the night with mates tonight and is sleeping over, I will see him when I get home from work tomorrow.

He doesn't know how to handle my sadness or doesn't realise how it affects me. So I am alone with my thoughts and trying not to allow them to become too distressing or upsetting.

I will be too busy tomorrow to be able to think about much of anything which will be good!

May you have a joyful day Quirky.

Cheers from Mrs. Dools

Happy Mother's Day 2020

geoff — Sat, 09 May 2020 16:27:02 GMT

Hello Mrs. Dools, Happy Mothers Day to you and all the dear mums for today, your special day of the year, one you can all enjoy together.

My Mum loved Mothers Day, which she deserved to do, unfortunately, she passed away a long time ago, but I always ring my ex and wish her a Happy Mothers Day.

It's your day today and even if this lockdown has been eased, embrace your children with warmth and love which you have taught them how to do.

Have a lovely day.

Geoff.

Happy Mother's Day 2020

White_Rose — Sat, 09 May 2020 19:47:32 GMT

Hello Mrs Dools

Most of my children phoned me yesterday (Saturday) and one came to visit. I felt quite special.

My mom died on Christmas Day 1999. She was in the UK and I was here so no opportunity to say goodbye. It was unexpected. I grieved for months until I felt I had no tears left. The sad part is that I was not close to mom for various reasons which I now understand but did not know as a child. So my childhood left me feeling a bit unwanted. I think all I wanted was for mom to say she loved me but I do not remember her saying that. I often wonder how that has affected my relationships with my children.

Thanks for starting this thread.

Mary

Happy Mother's Day 2020

PhoebeWings — Sat, 09 May 2020 21:25:54 GMT

Hi all,

As said, Mother’s Day will be joyous for some and for others, a painful trigger.

My reunited son, who is my only child... lives in the UK.

Aussie Mothers Day is a hit and miss affair for him - I’m sure he would have forgotten this year, or not paid attention to the date. He’s busy coping with a demanding job during Covid lockdown.

I have a beautiful card that he gave me a couple of years ago ‘To a wonderful Mum’ and a gorgeous candle with English flower fragrance - I was in the UK visiting and staying with him and the little family.

I’ll take it out and put the card up - give it another outing for another Mothers Day!

I just want to extend special love and care to the lovely women here who like me, never got to be a proper Mum.

I have a nice bottle of wine for tonight and I’m going to cook us a yummy dinner. And thank God for the many things that bring comfort and light into our lives, whilst keeping grief from overwhelming us.

🌸🌸🌸

Take Care everyone.

Happy Mother's Day 2020

Doolhof — Sat, 09 May 2020 21:45:31 GMT

Hi Everyone,

Geoff thanks for your kind words. I carry my children in my heart always and remember the dreams and desires I had for them while pregnant. Unfortunately they were taken from me before they had a chance to live in this world.

I can still have dreams of the children they may have become and how we could all be spending this day together.

It is wonderful you have fond memories of your Mum and how very thoughtful to still phone your ex. Bless you Geoff.

Phoebe Wings and Mary thank you for sharing your thoughts, memories, hurts and emotions around Mother's Day. Distance can be very confronting on such a day when we desire to have loved ones with us.

Mary, may you be able to tell yourself that you are lovable, you matter and you are very special!

My Mum too was unable to say those words and said some horrible things. As an adult I now wonder what kind of a childhood my Mum experienced.

The continual pain and hurting others can stop with us! Tell your children how much you love them. If there is need to say sorry, do so. Even if you write them all letters and never post them, the words have been expressed.

With kind regards to you all, hugs form Dools

Happy Mother's Day 2020

geoff — Sat, 09 May 2020 22:55:56 GMT

Hello Dools, thank you for your lovely reply, and yes, I do remember that awful time and please accept my most sincere sympathy, and please can you contact your friends.

Take care.

Geoff.

Happy Mother's Day 2020

ecomama — Sat, 09 May 2020 23:17:54 GMT

Thankyou for starting this thread Dools, I am new here but please let me say that I admire the way you expressed your feelings, the way you extended kindness and love to others here, your relentless spirit and how you will make others feel very special today. You are a gift.

Bless your children and I am very sorry for your losses.

Thankyou, because today is a difficult day for me too. I wish I was working today but tomorrow will come and I thank God for that.

I got up early and had a cry. I have already driven 1 child to work without any mention of mothers day.

I am estranged from my mother and from before Christmas until after mothers day each year can be difficult months since her birthday is in that time too. It took me years to see that pattern happening.

My children may or may not do something for me, usually nothing much happens, but I am ok with that, kind of. IDK.

I am not on social media any more at all, which I believe helps me mostly but today and other special days I long for connection and interaction. I just feel very sad.

Mothers Day when I was a child was an exciting day. My mother was always brutal but beyond that I usually saw my grandmother and she was ALWAYS so happy to see me. My aunties, great aunties and others usually met us altogether for an almost Christmas Day like feast. Most of them have passed now or are estranged.

I think I will text those mothers, any mothers I have numbers for, I may do it for every mother in my contacts list. Nope lol. Just a few. It would annoy me too much.

I might garden a bit or just water my garden. It's lovely how plants respond to being cared for.

xxxxEM

Happy Mother's Day 2020

Summer Rose — Sun, 10 May 2020 01:56:26 GMT

Hi Dools

I'm so sorry to hear about your lost babies. I imagine that kind of loss never really goes away and I know this day must be rough for you. I sit with you in friendship and always wish you well.

Kind thoughts to you

Happy Mother's Day 2020

Doolhof — Sun, 10 May 2020 21:35:17 GMT

Hi EM,

Thank you for your kind words. My day at work was very busy so I didn't have a great deal of time to feel grief and sadness until I came home again.

At work I saw tears in staff members eyes as they clocked in or out and I wondered what was going on in their lives. I tried to offer them a smile. I don't know their stories. I haven't been at work long and the staff are only at the desk fleetingly.

Some visitors wished me a Happy Mother's Day, I accepted their greetings and I was having a happy day in a way helping others to celebrate their Mothers.

I'm wondering if Mother's Day is made harder to live through due to media images of loving happy families, beautiful gifts, smiles and laughter. The T.V. commercials make everything look so perfect and wonderful. Not everyone has that.

I don't know how your day went, I hope it was okay and you believe in yourself and who you are. Not always an easy thing to do when you are feeling sad and forgotten.

My thoughts are with you, cheers from Dools

Happy Mother's Day 2020

Doolhof — Sun, 10 May 2020 21:38:17 GMT

Hi Summer Rose,

Thanks for your kind message and thoughts. The sense of loss and grief does not go away and sometimes it can be triggered by the slightest comment or sight.

I do have fond memories of sharing time with other people's children including my nieces and nephews, so those memories I cherish.

I hope your Sunday was okay for you.

Cheers from Dools

Happy Mother's Day 2020

Doolhof — Sun, 10 May 2020 21:41:35 GMT

Hi Geoff,

Thanks for your caring thoughts. I actually had a couple of friends who phoned me on Saturday night and I enjoyed a talk with them.

A dear friend sent me a lovely message on my phone Sunday. My boss was supportive at work as well as I explained my situation and she told me to take as many breaks as I needed.

I'm trying to focus on the good things in life Geoff! I really appreciate your kindness and thoughtfulness.

Cheers to you from Dools

Happy Mother's Day 2020

Summer Rose — Sun, 10 May 2020 21:47:13 GMT

Hi Dools

My day was overshadowed by sadness and I am really grateful to my husband and adult children who did their best to support me.

They kept me busy and laughing and we paid tribute to mum/grandma by playing her favourite board game and sharing memories.

To be honest, I'm glad the occasion has passed and hoping it will be easier next year.

Kind thoughts to you

Happy Mother's Day 2020

Doolhof — Sun, 10 May 2020 23:50:01 GMT

Hi Summer Rose,

Sounds like you have a wonderful supportive family. It is so special to be able to do things your Mum would have enjoyed.

The grieving process can be rough when loved ones die. Special days like Anniversaries, Christmas, Birthdays and Mother's Day can bring so many emotions to the surface.

I hope you are able to find ways to get through your day today. After a time of grieving, I often feel tired, drained and deflated. Hope you find some peace today.

Cheers from Dools