topic Coping Strategies for 8+ week break from therapy in Staying well

Coping Strategies for 8+ week break from therapy

WokingOnIt — Wed, 18 Dec 2019 22:54:56 GMT

Due to logistics, there will be at least 8 weeks in which I won't be able to see my psychologist. The break started almost 2 weeks ago, with our last session for the year, and next one won't be until after February 1st.

The sessions are fortnightly anyway, but still. 14 days always seems like a long time to me, between sessions, so 8 weeks (or more) is really daunting.

Life is really hard at the moment too. Many things going on at once.

I am trying to put strategies in place to help me cope for the 8 weeks, until I can start therapy again.

I would appreciate any input or ideas.

I had quit drinking alcohol, and had been sober for 120 days (go me!!!) but have since started again as am just not coping with life. This is a problem and I need to quit again, which I HOPE I can do by myself in the next week or so, rather than have to wait until therapy starts again.

I am trying to take care of myself physically but food aversion has kicked in full force (am autistic and struggle with eating food anyway, but worse when I am stressed) and I am really struggling to get enough to eat, as everything seems disgusting and I cannot force myself to eat much.

I am really trying to reach out and interact more in my online spaces (hence this thread...) as I don't have any/many people in real life to talk to. When I feel really bad I isolate myself from even online spaces though.

I need to organise a new support worker, but that is too hard for me to do without support (ha, irony) so I am not sure what to do there.

Anyway! Bit rambling, sorry. Ideas welcome. I might come back and add mine as I think of new ones and use this thread as a record of how I'm doing over the eight weeks...

Coping Strategies for 8+ week break from therapy

romantic_thi3f — Thu, 19 Dec 2019 00:15:13 GMT

Hi WokingOnIt,

Thanks for your post - and a kudos to you for thinking ahead about this; I know I personally hate gaps in therapy so planning ahead and putting together some coping strategies is such a good idea.

The biggest thing that comes to mind when reading your post is actually the things that you are working on in therapy, and what you've talked about. For example, maybe your therapist has tried to get you to think about certain things differently, or set some sort of homework (like with alcohol). I know for me it helps to think specifically about my sessions to help personalise my own coping skills. After all, the things that work for me might not work for you, and vice versa.

The other thing that might be worth thinking about are the coping strategies you are using right now. Congratulations on 120 days!! How do you think you made it to 120? and with food aversion, how have you coped with this in the past?

Hope this helps a little - a great idea to use this thread as a record, and also as a way to celebrate your wins!

Congrats again on your 120 days - I have no doubt you can make it to 121!

Coping Strategies for 8+ week break from therapy

ConfusedNanxious — Thu, 19 Dec 2019 00:20:52 GMT

Hi WorkingOnIt,

I have been suffering from anxiety recently, and when I was in the real thick of it early on, I found it hard to get from psychologist appointment to psychologist appointment.

During those times, I felt I needed to find something tangible to do - to keep my mind focused and to subconsciously give my mind and body the push forward. I didn't want to do mediation or anything like that, I wanted to get into some evidence based strategies - like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.

So, I do recommend going on to Mental Health Online. There are self-help courses available that correspond to varying mental health issues like anxiety, depression and addiction. You can elect to do these courses by yourself, or you can get a therapist to help track your progress online via phone, chat or email (although there is generally a four week wait for the therapist assisted option). These courses are supported by evidence based techniques and contain varying modules to go through. So there is something to do each day or week - it's up to you to select the pace you want to go at.

There is also an app called MoodGym which utilises Cognitive Behavioural Therapy practices to help you understand where certain anxious/depressive thoughts come from and how to rewire your thinking about certain things. This website is geared to a more younger (teenager/young adult) demographic, so it will not suit everyone.

And depending on your age, if you are between the ages of 5 and 25 (inclusive) Kids Helpline offers free counselling services over the phone. Each counsellor is tertiary qualified and you can make contact with the same counsellor on a frequent basis should you feel you need it. I have personally used their services, and it is very, very helpful. They also have a webchat option if you find that more comfortable - but they really are so friendly and easy to talk to on the phone.

I too have dealt with food aversion during my anxiety episodes. And my anxiety can often be made worse, knowing that I need to eat in order to continue 'battling' on.

I recommend taking the time to have three small meals each day, but eat whilst occupied so you are not focusing on the actual eating itself. I found watching TV to be a helpful distraction.

And don't worry about the types of food you need to eat, eat anything you feel like. Have smoothies for energy and nutrition, and soups/yoghurts can be good to just get something down into your system.

I am sending you all my good vibes.

- CnA

Coping Strategies for 8+ week break from therapy

WokingOnIt — Mon, 23 Dec 2019 23:30:53 GMT

Hi rt,
Thanks so much for your reply.
That's a good idea to think about what we were working on in therapy before the break. I don't know if I can pinpoint anything really. Although it's been ten months I feel like we were still working on the "gaining trust" part and I don't have goals or a plan or anything.

The alcohol thing just happened naturally once I started seeing him and suddenly felt like I could quit, at least temporarily. So I guess that *became* a goal of mine, and still is. I have decided 2020 will be a year of sobriety... so on January 1st I will quit again, for 365 days. I THINK (hope) the catalyst of the new year will be enough to help me do that even without support from my psych.

My coping strategies at the moment are alcohol, self harm and avoidance so I really think I need to upgrade those... I was coping without those things as long as I had my psych's support but in the break (with a lot of external stressors happening at the same time) I collapsed back into old habits and need to work on that.

"Talking to people online" is probably a coping method, though... and I have been trying to do more of that lately.

I have never had food aversion this bad before. I have always had *some* things I could eat, and those things changed (suddenly, without warning) but I have never had a time where literally Every Single Thing seems disgusting. It's a bit alarming. I am hoping it will go back to a normal (for me) level if I can somehow get the stress levels down. In the meantime I am trying to drink a smoothie per day, and put lots of nutritious things in it. It isn't enough calories, and it is not pleasant, but I can drink it without gagging (with a straw) and it at least has some nutrition in it.

Setting myself some kind of homework is probably a good idea. Psych was going to email me with some but hasn't really done so yet. I can think of something helpful though, probably, maybe.

WOI

Coping Strategies for 8+ week break from therapy

WokingOnIt — Mon, 23 Dec 2019 23:53:01 GMT

Hi CnA,
Thanks for your reply 🙂

And thank you for the recommendations. I went to check out mental Health online and found that apparently I had signed up for an account there in 2011... and forgotten. SO I had to reset my password but now I'm in. I signed up for a program and have been working through the first couple of modules. Even if I already know a lot of the information presented, I am hoping it will help me maintain motivation and momentum to keep prioritising my mental health and recovery. So... thanks!

I have heard of MoodGym but never actually checked it out so I might look into that too.

I can't speak on the phone at all so phone counseling is out - and am over 25 so Kids Helpline might not work, but maybe I can find another web chat option somewhere. Thanks for the idea.

Food aversion is so annoying, isn't it?? I have managed to get into a routine of making a nutritious smoothie each day. it isn't *pleasant* but it doesn't make me gag and I can make myself drink it (while distracted by watching/reading something). So. That is a start.

Thanks for the good vibes. I need them 🙂

WOI

Coping Strategies for 8+ week break from therapy

smallwolf — Tue, 24 Dec 2019 00:42:02 GMT

Hi.

This may or may not work for you. And I did notice you are concerned about a relapse re alcohol.

In the time you have been seeing your psychologist, what strategies, coping skills and homework were you given? Use these.

Some of my tools were online. as good as they were sometimes not enough. So here I needed something physical and someone suggested prayer beads to me.

I know that 8 weeks can feel long. My last session was in beginning of December and the next is mid February for various reasons. The homework from what was going to be the last session for this year I could not give to my psych - it was cancelled.

So between then and now I use the tools I have. And one thing you have done is reach out to the forums here, talking about your issues. Know that you will be supported and not judged in this space. We are all here to help and support each other.

Tim

Coping Strategies for 8+ week break from therapy

romantic_thi3f — Tue, 24 Dec 2019 01:25:36 GMT

Hi WOI,

It's kind of interesting to me that you felt like you weren't working on anything specific in therapy and moreso just gaining trust, but at the same time being in therapy was enough to help. It makes me think that it might be not so much the therapeutic techniques itself (since you can't pinpoint anything as yet), but more so the outlet of having someone to talk to and support you.

What a great idea of using 2020 as a new start and incentive for change. I can see that it would be great to have the whole year being sober, but I think it's important to know that if it's not the case it doesn't reflect on you or your capabilities. I'm saying this because often there's a bit of a defeat, especially with big goals including weight loss or smoking even.

You've talked a little bit about self harm, drinking and avoidance as coping strategies, but what might be some healthier ones that you can use?

I'm wondering too if it might be worth thinking about your hobbies/interests? Sometimes diving deep and getting into 'flow' can be so helpful.

Wishing you all the best in implementing all these strategies and resources - especially from the other posters who have given great advice.

Coping Strategies for 8+ week break from therapy

WokingOnIt — Sat, 28 Dec 2019 12:23:27 GMT

Hi Tim,

"In the time you have been seeing your psychologist, what strategies, coping skills and homework were you given? Use these."

This sounds like a really sensible suggestion. But... I don't know if I have been given any strategies or coping skills so far. I'm wracking my brain to think of any. I know that is a usual kind of thing in therapy (from what I have read online, anyway). But our sessions weren't really based on that kind of thing, not yet anyway. I did come up with some on my own along the way though, including daily journaling, which I have been doing for 283 days now. And which I did find very helpful in the initial phase of sobriety. I assume that I will start utilising that again next year when the sobriety begins again.

Honestly I did a lot of online research and read a lot of books and did some therapy-type exercises at home on my own throughout this ten month process, between sessions - which was really helpful, but which I mostly did not even mention to psychologist. But, somehow, seeing him every fortnight made it possible for me to do all of that, even if I could not actually talk to him about any of it.

Coping Strategies for 8+ week break from therapy

smallwolf — Sun, 29 Dec 2019 08:54:08 GMT

You sound quite proactive - good on you for doing all that research.

Not sure how you are feeling now, but there were 2 tools I used - one was an app on a phone and the other was a book -

- the app was virtual hope box

- the book was the happiness trap

The nice thing about this book was it recognised that the same tools might not work for everyone and provides a number of suggestions.

You could also check out the threads on grounding and mindfulness on the forums here.

I go back to work tomorrow but will be celebrating new year with my family. What will you be doing over the next days?

Tim

Coping Strategies for 8+ week break from therapy

WokingOnIt — Wed, 15 Jan 2020 00:00:34 GMT

Hi Tim,

Thanks for the response.

I will check out both those resources you mentioned.
And yes, reading through threads on the forums might be useful and I have been trying to do a little more of that lately.

My birthday was on the 4th of January, and I spent the day at home by myself - but knowing ahead of time that would be the case, i did actually plan ahead and make it into a lovely day for myself which was a very healthy thing to, and which I am proud of. I bought myself a present (wrapped it and everything ha) which was a jigsaw puzzle, then spent the day doing a jigsaw puzzle and having a virtual birthday party online in one of my facebook groups. Looking forward to that got me through the week beforehand. Maybe I should plan something else nice for myself too, to get through the next few weeks.

It has been five and a half weeks since I saw my psychologist. And there are two and half weeks to go before I CAN see him - except I have just had an email from him about appointment times etc that might mean I can't see him then either. I emailed back and hope he clarifies, because I'm terrified our schedules will now clash and I won't be able to see him anymore.

I am trying not to panic about it until i actually know for sure. Maybe it will all work out anyway.

Coping Strategies for 8+ week break from therapy

WokingOnIt — Wed, 15 Jan 2020 00:02:45 GMT

I have been struggling with anxiety hugely since I stopped drinking alcohol on the first day of this year. But, I DID do that, and today is Day 15 of sobriety so go me!! This is a good thing and I hope I can keep it up for the rest of the year.

I am anxious about my daughter starting Year One at school this year. Last year was awful for her in school, and the teachers/principal/vice principal etc were all SO dismissive and told me to my face that I was wrong about her struggling, and they refused to accommodate or support her. I believe she is autistic too, like I am, but she doesn't have an official diagnosis yet so no one is taking me seriously. Last year we both had a bit of a mental breakdown in the last few weeks of the school year, and I am so stressed about this year being the same. We won't cope with it, if so. I am doing everything I can to try to make this experience different for my daughter (and therefore for me, because if she is okay, then I don't have to worry about her and spend all my energy trying to advocate for her with an unsupportive school).

Whenever I think about school I feel panicky and physically sick with anxiety. It's awful. I don't know what to do about it except keep pushing myself to do the things that might help (trying to organise an assessment for her through an Occupational Therapist, for example)

Coping Strategies for 8+ week break from therapy

smallwolf — Wed, 15 Jan 2020 21:54:04 GMT

Going for 15 day is better than 10 and better than 5. Each day you win adds one to the counter.

Belated happy birthday to you as well. And jigsaws make a good distraction also.

Starting school can be stressful for both kids and parents. Maybe if you had a look some resources on places like kids help line you might get some ideas to make it easier for both of you?

Coping Strategies for 8+ week break from therapy

WokingOnIt — Fri, 14 Feb 2020 05:00:55 GMT

Thanks. 🙂

I really like jigsaw puzzles. A good distraction, as you say, but also it gives me a different perspective on life when you view it as a bit like a jigsaw puzzle... confusing at first, you can't see the whole picture, just a jumble of pieces. Bit by bit if you keep trying, little parts start to make sense. Sometimes you can spend a long time waiting and looking for the right piece before something starts to make sense, and you can spend some quiet time sorting things through without actually making any visible progress... but later, that quiet sorting time will make visible progress easier. Sometimes it is fun to work on alone. Sometimes you can make faster progress with some help. Little by little, day by day... the picture becomes clearer.

Coping Strategies for 8+ week break from therapy

WokingOnIt — Fri, 14 Feb 2020 07:40:53 GMT

Update....

So the 8 week break turned into a 9 week break, but I got to have my first therapy session for the year last weekend. It was... challenging. New place, new building, new room... having not seen him in all that time.
I don't remember people when I am not with them - not sure if that is an autistic thing or not - but I don't remember faces/voices/experiences, so after some time away from a person I basically have to readjust entirely to what it is like to talk to them.

I had a best friend a while ago who lived very close by, and when I didn't see her for a week or so I would forget entirely that I liked her and it was fun to hang out, and would literally exclaim, "Oh! I just remembered I really like you!" while we were hanging out... which in hindsight could have been taken badly but she was always nice about it.

So, big adjustments. He was not as patient as he could have been. But we worked it out and by the end of the session I was starting to feel kind of okay with it again.

He keeps saying he doesn't want to be a crutch though, which made me think of how hard this nine week break was, and how I had to plan and strategise to cope with it, and if maybe that means I *AM* too reliant (despite still being very guarded and defensive and detached, because trust issues) and if I should work on disconnecting a bit more.

But at the same time, I feel like I can't DO proper therapy (and actually talk and feel and process and so on) if I can't feel safe enough to rely on him and lean into it a little.

Anyway. Still sober, go me. Not self harming. Trying to Do The Adult Things Required, even if they are stressful.

Booked an appointment with my GP a few weeks ago purely to talk about medication, and had a really really good conversation about it and walked out with the exact result I wanted, and feeling very understood and supported. So that was awesome. I am very lucky to have found a good GP.

Coping Strategies for 8+ week break from therapy

WokingOnIt — Fri, 14 Feb 2020 07:42:23 GMT

Trying to pull in more supports for the rest of my life, which is a long and complicated process apparently. I have NDIS funding for a support worker but having to actually find and meet and organise a support worker... is really really hard for me to do. So I haven't managed it yet, but I am still trying.

"Still Trying". Kind of the catch phrase for my life right now. Apparently I am in the 100th percentile for depression, 100th percentile for anxiety and 98th percentile for stress, according to the questionnaire I did at my psych's office last week. So. I feel utterly awful. BUT. That is nothing too new. And we shall persevere.

Coping Strategies for 8+ week break from therapy

Guest_4643 — Fri, 14 Feb 2020 09:06:02 GMT

Hey WokingOnIt.

I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through but you said you've done a few things such as giving up alcohol and whatnot and wow, that's a great achievement aswell as the other things you said you've tried so well done, you should be proud.

Hmm that 8 week gap between sessions sounds quite weird, have you seen the therapist since? Is it because they have a busy schedule or are going away or something? I have a Psychiatrist that I see on Skype (who is great) so I relate to the lengthy wait but he's the only therapist I want and trust (I've had bad experiences with GPs & Psychologists in the past, which by the way, I hope you don't). Maybe if they're not helping and keeping you waiting too long, you could look into seeing another therapist and/or a GP who specialises in mental health, and perhaps Autism, if you're comfortable though?

You can always come on these forums or chat to BB on their webchat or email, just like Lifeline, SANE, Kids Helpline etc. Or you can look at websites like Reach Out for some ideas. Do you have any interests such as writing, art, anything like that? You could give that a go, for example just throwing paint onto a canvas? It can be fun. Up to you of course.

I hope things improve for you and that you can see your therapist soon or find different health professionals who can help if you're interested. I'm thinking of you, I'm here if you would like to chat here or anywhere on the forums. Good luck with everything, I hope things go well.

Love and hugs,

Tayla (20 years old)

Coping Strategies for 8+ week break from therapy

WokingOnIt — Sat, 15 Feb 2020 01:26:07 GMT

Hi Tayla,
Thanks so much for your response. And your kind words about my achievements. I forget, sometimes, to be proud of myself for what I AM managing to do.

The 8 week break (that turned into a 9 week break, after all) was because he'd moved offices, had to move out of the old one and couldn't get new space for that amount of time. He's got the new space now, and I've seen him again, once, and from now on we should be back to our regular once-a-fortnight session. Two weeks between sessions still feels like a long time to me (but manageable) so nine weeks felt like soooo long.

Apart from logistical issues, he's actually pretty great - he does specialise in seeing autistic folks, and is the only practitioner I have ever felt could actually help me. I just need a chance to settle in properly, which I haven't been able to do so far (because $$ last year, and then when money finally got sorted out he announced he was changing premises and the long break). I am hoping this year I get a chance to actually settle in and feel safe and start doing some real work.

I have had really bad experiences with GP's and psychologists/counselors in the past too, so now that I have finally found a good one I really don't want to change and try again with someone else. Like yours, he is the only one I want and trust so I keep turning down his offers of referrals.

I do need to spend more time on BB forums. I find it helpful when I remember. And art and writing are two things that I love, but don't do enough of. I will try to make time for those things as well. I do find them helpful, when I remember and make time to do them.

I am prioritising brain care and taking care of myself again, this year. I forgot, for a while, or couldn't, because of the level of overwhelm and stress over the past few months. Trying to remember to breathe, learning how to repair my autonomic nervous system from the damage trauma has caused, and just generally take care of myself with nutrition/exercise etc. I am hoping this will gradually make a difference in my mental state.

Coping Strategies for 8+ week break from therapy

smallwolf — Sat, 15 Feb 2020 03:56:02 GMT

You are actually doing quite well - despite how you might be feeling, one of the things I am constantly reminded of (by my psych*) is to look at how far you have come and you are doing all the right things, and this would apply to you. Remember that real change takes time.

I can understand what you mean when you talk about turning down referrals. Though I also see my GP as having a set of skills, and when things get outside her skill set she will refer me elsewhere - that is how I was referred to my psychologist and psychiatrist. When my psychiatrist moved from one group to another, I moved with her also so that I would not have to change to a different psychiatrist and have to explain my situation again, especially after developing a good relationship with her.

Anyway, from your post it sounds as though you are back with your GP and psychologist. One thing you do is have a look at a book called "the happiness trap" where you might get some ideas for breathing exercises etc. It was a book recommended to me by my psych. and should be available from your library as well.

Tim

Coping Strategies for 8+ week break from therapy

Guest_4643 — Sat, 15 Feb 2020 06:18:43 GMT

Hey again WokingOnIt.

Oh okay, fair enough. Hopefully you can see them fortnightly again. I agree with you, fortnightly feels like ages especially on certain days, but 8-9 weeks is even longer! I know how you feel, trust me, because it's ages until I see my Psychiatrist between sessions (I see him through Skype, a Telehealth thing). I see him on Feb 18 though.

You're welcome about the kind words, I mean it, and yes you should be proud, good on you. I'm glad you like your Psychologist, that's an important thing with mental health but it's different for everyone - health professionals, treatment, meds, all of that. I agree. I hope you feel comfortable with them and trust them.

I'm sorry to hear that you've also had bad experiences with GPs and other health professionals. As sad as it is, it seems like a common issue that people have shared on these forums, that's pretty sad. But that's great that you finally found one you're happy with and I hope you can keep working with them.

I'm glad to see that you have things that help you such as art and writing, that's great. They can be therapeutic, I agree. I'm not artistically talented although I wish I was, but I suppose everyone can get creative at times.

Good on you, I hope things get better and improve for you. Feel free to come on the forums whenever you like, you're always welcome 24/7, and of course to take time to yourself, I understand.

I'm here if you'd like to chat here or anywhere else on the forums, I have a couple of threads myself if you'd like to check them out (I guess you could try searching my username to find them? I'm not sure).

Love and hugs, and well done with everything, I'm proud of you. I believe in you and I'm happy for you.

Tayla x