topic Adherence / Compliance -- How do you make yourself do the things that make you feel better? in Staying well

Adherence / Compliance -- How do you make yourself do the things that make you feel better?

zailleh — Thu, 05 Feb 2015 21:59:07 GMT

Hi Everyone,

One of my biggest challenges with depression is doing the things I know make me feel better and make a positive difference to my emotional state. Especially when I'm feeling my worst, these things would make me feel better but I can't make myself do them because depression just kills all motivation.

Just hoping to draw on the collective experience here. What kind of things do you to help make yourself do the things that make you feel better?

Cheers,
Zailleh

Adherence / Compliance -- How do you make yourself do the things that make you feel better?

JessF — Fri, 06 Feb 2015 00:18:59 GMT

Hello Zailleh, for me it's about routine and scheduling. Make an appointment with yourself to do these things. But the key is not to try to do too much at once, otherwise you can get discouraged easily when you drop off with one of your resolutions and then just drop the lot. Make small changes. Say if you want to be more active for example, start with a simple thing that is very doable. Like fifteen minutes walk a day.

And the next thing is to not beat yourself up if you miss a goal. Say if you want to exercise three times a week, and you have Thursday as one of your days. Things happen, you have a bad day, and you miss your Thursday. Tell yourself that that is ok, and that tomorrow is another day. Reset and start again. That's the important thign, you can always start again afresh the next day.

It's about a mindset of maintenance too. Understanding that these things we do to make us feel well aren't cures, they're just things we have to do, like vacuuming the house.

Adherence / Compliance -- How do you make yourself do the things that make you feel better?

Neil_1 — Fri, 06 Feb 2015 01:11:44 GMT

Hi there Zailleh

Jess’s response to you has really nailed it. An appointment, a routine, a schedule – it basically all goes or comes down to being committed. Make the commitment for it to happen; and as Jess suggested, perhaps try for going out for a walk; three times per week. When I’m starting off on a program again, I usually start at 20 minutes; and I do it by going out one way for 10 minutes. Then turn around and come back. And with me being the competitive beast that I am, I always have this little game where I’ve got to come back faster than I went out (this is purely something that I do and don’t suggest it for anyone else – just thought I’d share). What I do want to emphasise though is just HOW FAST 10 minutes goes by.

You look at your watch and 8 minutes have gone by and wow, so you’ve only got another 2 minutes before you have to turn around.

Ok ok, that’s all for a walk or even walk/jog routine.

But it’s the commitment to do this; OR whatever else you may decide … and another pearl from Jess was the thing about NOT wanting to do too many to start with; just try for ONE thing to start off with. You will have a far greater chance of sticking with it if it’s simply one thing; and doing it again and again, so what we are after is to change the word “commitment” to become the word “habit”.

Would love to hear back from you on this.

Neil

Adherence / Compliance -- How do you make yourself do the things that make you feel better?

Beltane — Fri, 06 Feb 2015 01:55:41 GMT

Awesome question!! I see this one get asked a lot in posts, so having a thread where we can pull together ideas is awesome!

its so tricky isn't it! Depression makes us tired and uninterested. And yeah part of the way to beat it is healthy lifestyle Changes, like eating healthy and exercising, plus hobbies or socialising etc.

the answers above are fantastic, about scheduling stuff but also forgiving yourself if today is a bad day.. There's always tomorrow. Wise words- very wise words.

i find it's important to prioritise and not do too much. So I know with me, when I'm deoressed which is thankfully rare nowadays, I get overwhelmed by the sheer effort of anything. "but if I go out with my friend, I'll have to shower and get dressed and drive all the way there, and I'm not going to have any fun anyway cos I feel so sad/ tired, and then I'll have to drive home" and BAM I've talked myself out of it before I've even moved.

so I try deciding on ONE thing to do that day, or maybe say "one day this week I'm going to do this". And I focus on what Ill get out of doing it. "Well actually if I meet my friend closer to home than I won't have to drive so far, and I'll really like seeing my friend, we're going to go out for a lovely meal, infact I think I'll order my favourite pasta and treat myself to dessert..."

I still have to do this sometimes, because although I've long recovered from depression and anxiety, I still have to make sure I don't let myself go back. Sometimes I still have the little voice that goes "no don't bother going for a walk, it's hot outside and I'm tired".

now when I hear that voice I have to consider it's real meaning: is it a legitimate reason not to go? Is it really a good excuse? Or is it just that little old anxious voice popping up, and I have to remind it "no it's going to be fun..."

So maybe start off small- say you'll go for 3 walks this week, and 1 coffee with friends. Then spend ages talking yourself up to it, how awesome it wil be . Once you have some good experiences it gets easier, cos you can use them as proof "hey I didn't think it was gonna be fun last time, but it was heaps of fun and I felt better afterwards. So it'll be fun this time too"

Adherence / Compliance -- How do you make yourself do the things that make you feel better?

Quincy_J — Thu, 19 Feb 2015 02:05:00 GMT

Hi Zailleh, great post and something that stumps me too, in fact only this week I had exactly the same thing.

I know exercise makes me feel great but this week, I've lost all motivation. The thing that helps me is not only booking in the time with myself but with a dear friend. It helps me keep the appointment if I know that someone who loves me and wants to help by accompanying me to do something that is good for my body and mind, is waiting for me. I only ever keep it to one-on-one or two-on-one so it's not too intimidating if I want to just cocoon.

Also keeping a diary of how these sessions make me feel is helpful too.

Much love and all the best xx

Adherence / Compliance -- How do you make yourself do the things that make you feel better?

White_Rose — Sun, 22 Feb 2015 12:14:41 GMT

DearZailleh

Hello and welcome to the forum. You have put your finger on one of the most difficult aspects of depression, making ourselves do something. Well you have had lots of good advice and techniques that I cannot really add to. All I can say is go with these suggestions.

When I was severely depressed my daughter said, baby steps mom, baby steps. I've written that on here so often I should make it my forum name. But it's true. And whenever you manage a step, however small, it makes you feel so good that it becomes a motivator for trying again.

So no reaching for the sky or even the moon. Concentrate on the immediate step in front of you and work on achieving that before you look further afield. When your horizon is close it is more attainable and gives you hope. Looking too far ahead can feel as though you have too far to go, you will never get there so why bother.

I have found as others above, that making a date with one or two friends is easier than trying to do it alone. I always believed I could not let anyone down so I went on my "date". And invariably I had a good time. So whether or not you explain to your friends how you feel, make a catch up time and stick with it.

It is amazing how a demonstration of being loved and cared for can lift you. And a change of conversation from the constant spin of self talk can bring a smile to your face.

I hope you can respond to these posts. We all care for each other and rejoice in your successes.

Mary

Adherence / Compliance -- How do you make yourself do the things that make you feel better?

Pelusa — Wed, 15 Apr 2015 21:39:03 GMT

Hi Mary,

New to the site, i justo read your comment and it felt warm and caring.

I don't have the energy today to take a baby step but it was nice to read your advice.

Thanks,

Adherence / Compliance -- How do you make yourself do the things that make you feel better?

White_Rose — Thu, 16 Apr 2015 00:39:12 GMT

Dear Pelusa

Thanks for your reply and welcome to Beyond Blue. I hope you continue to post on this site. Have you thought of starting your own thread? That way you will get responses to your questions and difficulties.

Hope to hear from you.

Mary

Adherence / Compliance -- How do you make yourself do the things that make you feel better?

London_Bridge — Tue, 21 Apr 2015 02:59:10 GMT

Hi all, I'm new to this site too. Not sure what I'm looking for as I'm aware of all the things I can do to help myself. Baby steps, a day at a time, do at least one pleasurable thing each day, exercise, exercise, exercise, mindfulness, positive thinking, blah blah blah. I've been on anti-depressants for many years - it started as post-natal depression 27 years ago. I also get really bad headaches that last for weeks at a time then suddenly disappear. I have a great doctor who has investigated my headaches & I'm just one of those people that gets headaches. I also dream a lot - vivid disturbing dreams. . I see a psychologist occasionally but not sure if that has really been of any benefit. The thing is, my mind has been great for months - then suddenly every little thing is getting to me. I'm angry, moody, teary, unmotivated & really don't like myself at all. I was aware that I was starting to feel a bit 'flat' & keep telling myself 'don't let this happen. Don't let the black dog drag you down'. But it has & I'm mad at it.

Oh well I've had my rant. And hopefully I can pull myself up out of this black hole very soon.

Adherence / Compliance -- How do you make yourself do the things that make you feel better?

London_Bridge — Thu, 23 Apr 2015 11:05:14 GMT

Soo hating that I feel so crappy & have to turn to wine & cigarettes to relax my brain & make me start to feel positive about life.

Depression does not discriminate !!!!

We own our home, we have 2 investment properties, 4 children, 6 grandchildren, a dog & a cat, we are young retirees (mid fifties) so life should be awesome. But my brain does stupid things. Anyway I've had another rant ...... I guess that's a good thing ...

Why are so many people struggling with depression? Why do I hear of so many young people (late teens / early twenties) suiciding? . I'm also concerned about my 22 yr old daughter who has apparent anxiety issues .... Heredity?? She said to me today something to the effect ' what about the people that you hurt'. Yes that is what has stopped me from hurting myself. My children!!! Imagine them having to say 'my mum committed suicide'. Not a chance. EVER.

Adherence / Compliance -- How do you make yourself do the things that make you feel better?

Chris_B — Fri, 24 Apr 2015 03:58:37 GMT

Hi London Bridge, welcome to the forums.

Are you able to start up a new thread in the Depression section with some of your thoughts above? Those are all interesting questions, but this thread is for people sharing ideas on getting yourself to do things that will make you feel better.

Adherence / Compliance -- How do you make yourself do the things that make you feel better?

Bluebelle777 — Mon, 04 May 2015 13:02:08 GMT

Planning in advance and routine. Sounds so simple but has taken me 13 years to get it!! Even when I was at my worst, knowing I had scheduled my Saturday morning walk/ brunch with a friend meant I couldn't cancel and the fresh air and company does wonders. I do Pilates and find paying my sessions and booking classes in advance makes me attend. Exercise always helps and is so important to managing moods. Even when I'm well, I keep my psychologist appointments and plan another session always- even if I feel I don't need it. Using my diary to plan down time for me but also time to see people I love, helps Keep a balance.

Even cooking healthy meals in advance and freezing them for days when you're feeling flat and need an early night, helps to ensure your body gets what it needs even if you don't have the energy or desire to eat. Keep vitamins by your bed or toothbrush and even when you're feeling bad, at least you are helping your body get the nutrients it needs.

Hope this helps 🙂

Adherence / Compliance -- How do you make yourself do the things that make you feel better?

Doolhof — Sun, 17 May 2015 02:54:37 GMT

Hi Bluebelle777,

I have been just randomly flicking about on the forum and came across your post.

Thank you so very much for your encouraging words.

Due to my depression I often procrastinate and back slide on all the positive things I know are obtainable to me.

For me the thing is to not give up. If I don't do so well this week, then I can try again tomorrow or next week.

I too use a diary, they are a wonderful way to keep track of where you want to be and have to be.

I have paid out for the use of a swimming pool at a fitness centre. If I pay in advance, then I will certainly attend, like your Pilates.

Hope you are travelling well.

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools or Lauren

Adherence / Compliance -- How do you make yourself do the things that make you feel better?

renmon — Mon, 01 Jun 2015 07:51:06 GMT

Hi zailleh.

I agree with a lot of what has already been posted re motivating yourself through depression. For me, it is about prioritising and being self aware. So I make a list of what is most important to support me through a depressive episode. I make a deal with myself that I will not give attention to NOT doing what isn't on the list. So for a period of time last year when I was unwell, I let lots of 'little' jobs remain undone until I was able to cope with them again. I refused to beat myself up about this. I was totally focussed on what I COULD do that supported me towards being well again. So things like eating regularly, keeping in touch with friends and family, and a bunch of other stuff. I kept a strict routine which included having to do things that were good for me that I absolutely didn't want to do. I was in panic every time I left my house but I knew that to be well I had to leave the house. I am very self aware so I was able to talk to myself as a parent would to a child and give myself lots of nurturing and encouragement through this period of time. It wasn't easy. Ultimately I knew that being well again meant doing a, b, c and d etc so by delaying or putting off any of these things I was only going to prolong the feeling of being so unwell. It can be such a conundrum really. Sheer grit and overwhelming love for myself got me through a lot of days. And rewards. If I kept my committments for wellbeing then I would reward myself.

Adherence / Compliance -- How do you make yourself do the things that make you feel better?

Goldie22 — Tue, 02 Jun 2015 15:18:50 GMT

Hi Zailleh

Your post is very inspiring. I wish I had your drive and self love.

My current experience is a constant state of knowledge of what I need to do to get better, but a fear of making the change. I'm so scared.

I know I need to excercise but I can't get out of bed in the morning. I know I need to eat healthy but I don't feel hungry, then binge eat on anything and everything at night when I'm alone. It's like I'm enjoying punishing myself.

i wish I wasn't alone. My mum tries to help but I just feel worse because she is so strong and determined I can't understand why I can't be like her.

im turning 25 at the end of the year and I will have nothing to show for it. I'm a complete failure. I took my life and all my opportunities for granted, and I still am. What I seam to be going at the moment is seeing how far I can push things, my body, my mum and my mental state (I'm not sleeping).

its all just a matter of time. I'm not sure what I want to happen or if anything will. I don't feel much anymore.

beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

Adherence / Compliance -- How do you make yourself do the things that make you feel better?

Denv12 — Tue, 09 Jun 2015 02:33:01 GMT

I looked around to find things that would at least improve my overall wellbeing. As I have had several Kinesiology treatments and other muscle testing techniques done in the past I figured I'd stick with acupressure points. I found some books on Acupressure and in the books were various ailments. I do various daily routines in the morning and evening.The good news is its made a difference. The book I picked up online. Good investment. We all have pressure points so everyone can benefit.

The book I recommend is called :

"Acupressure For Emotional Healing". By Michael Read Gach.PHD.

ISBN:978-0553382438.

and 0553382438.

I've read a book on Emotional Freedom Technique (E.F.T.) and I found out about a (better) technique called " Faster E.F.T".(Faster Emotionally Focused Transformations).Plenty of info on Faster EFT around.Its worth looking into.

Adherence / Compliance -- How do you make yourself do the things that make you feel better?

gettingthroughGAD — Wed, 10 Jun 2015 04:26:39 GMT

Hi everyone,

One of my friends has been working really hard at improving his mental wellbeing and has shared some of his techniques with me. I've started to adopt some of them and have found they've made some difference to how badly my anxiety affects my daily life :).

Keeping a list of things you need/want to do and ticking them off once you've accomplished it. The act of ticking is like a small reward.

Meditating. I have found for me personally I can't meditate on a boring/bad day. I need to have been mentally stimulated throughout the day otherwise I just end up sinking deeper into bad thoughts. On quiet days if I do meditate it'd more likely be in the morning or middle of the day rather than at night.

Exercise: Making a date with a friend to walk has been very helpful in getting me more interested in exercise again.

Reading books such as 'Meditations' by Marcus Aurelius and 'The Power of Now' by Eckhart Tolle.

Thank you to everyone who's previously posted. I will be adopting some of your techniques too and see how they work for me :).

Good luck,

Candice

Adherence / Compliance -- How do you make yourself do the things that make you feel better?

Carmen_Lisa — Sun, 14 Jun 2015 00:16:02 GMT

Came to this post for motivation for today. I think maybe it is procrastination/avoidance. I feel like I'm giving up if I get scared and don't do the things that I'd planned to do today and hide in bed. When is it okay to not push myself? I think my goals might be too lofty for my current head space, but I know if I don't keep up with big things the smaller things then become the big things and then suddenly I'm so unwell I need to go to hospital. But oh... How to beat the anxiety? I'm tired. I can't get my head around being kind to myself and to do things that will keep me going.

Adherence / Compliance -- How do you make yourself do the things that make you feel better?

Carmen_Lisa — Sun, 14 Jun 2015 00:17:31 GMT

PS I like your profile pic. Did you draw it?

Adherence / Compliance -- How do you make yourself do the things that make you feel better?

Doolhof — Sun, 14 Jun 2015 06:22:13 GMT

Hi Candice,

Just wanted to thank you for a lovely post.

It is always wonderful to read when people are able to make a difference in their lives.

Thanks for sharing the points that are helping you achieve these changes.

We are all different and will find some thing may help one day and not next week, and that is okay too!

Having more than one solution to a problem is very beneficial.

Thanks again from Mrs. Dools