topic We are all human and need time out for self care in Staying well

We are all human and need time out for self care

MsPurple — Sat, 05 May 2018 06:05:23 GMT

As a community champion I love coming on the forums and chatting to everyone on the forums. However recently the black dog decided to stick it's head back in and was a bit more persistent than most. I had to take some time away from the forums for self care. I used to not want to overshare on the forums, because I want to be a strong community champion. But I have learnt that most people value that we are going through the same things you are and just like you we are human and need time out for ourselves. Being strong doesn't mean the black dog doesn't come, it's by putting our hand up and saying, I need to take time out, increase self care and follow what my therapist says. I want to thank everyone for their support while I had some time away from the forums.

So my question to you is. What do you do when you take time out for self care?

I tend to watch movies, take a warm bath and meditate before bed to help me sleep.

Glad to be back and thanks in advance and I'm so glad to be part of a supportive community 🙂

MsP

We are all human and need time out for self care

White_Rose — Sat, 05 May 2018 08:23:05 GMT

Dear MsP

Great to see you back. I have to put my hand up also to being strong and not sharing everything. But you it right as I have discovered. No use in keeping all our problems tucked away from the daylight. It is those difficulties that give us the empathy and compassion for others.

Mary

We are all human and need time out for self care

MsPurple — Sat, 05 May 2018 11:16:09 GMT

Hi Mary

Yeah I like to share, but not necessarily overshare. I think on the forums I try be a rock, but sometimes we need a break from being the rock and just need some support or time out. So I had some time out. Plus work has been busy and I have been working 7 days on with a day off. We have more staff now so that is over thank goodness

We are all human and need time out for self care

quirkywords — Sat, 05 May 2018 11:35:30 GMT

Ms Purple,

Welcome back. I think we need to show that we are all human and have weaknesses and strengths.

I think the first step is acknowledging it is time for self care and give ourselves space .

Sometimes we know we need it but we keep saying I will take time offf when...

Self care is not a luxury or an indulgence it is a necessity.

Thanks for starting this thread. It is great to see your name back on the threads.

Quirky

We are all human and need time out for self care

Lici — Sat, 05 May 2018 11:45:51 GMT

Hi MrsP,

I just wanted to say that I love this "Being strong doesn't mean the black dog doesn't come, it's by putting our hand up and saying, I need to take time out, increase self care and follow what my therapist says" it took me so long in my life to realise that!

To answer your question, if I'm feeling down etc but still have energy I'll take my camera out to a conservation park and take photos of birds. I find taking photos of fairy-wrens always puts a smile on my face, they're so tiny and so full of life.

If I'm feeling less energetic I'll go to my bookshelves and pick out a series to start reading again. I love young adult fiction (even though I'm far from being a young adult!). I find escaping into a fantasy world full of supernatural beings relaxing and a great way to take my mind off things for a while.

I'm new here so I haven't seen you around yet, but I'm glad you're back and hopefully I'll see you around more 🙂

Kind regards,

Lici

We are all human and need time out for self care

MsPurple — Sun, 06 May 2018 13:56:03 GMT

HI Everyone. Thanks for the support

Lici going out in nature and taking photos sounds like an awesome idea. I just got a new phone with an awesome camera so it is something I should do when I need some time off. I have also read Harry Potter a few times. I love going to that imaginary place. I should find another book series to read. I have read hunger games as well (need to finish divergent series) haha if you have anything to suggest please share.

I'm lucky. I have a supportive family so they are good when I put my hand up. My family get it so I am lucky. I wish everyone had the support I do.

I like to sometimes go for a drive if stress. Usually to somewhere with coffee.

Hope to see you guys on here more regularly. Hopefully the black dog continues to behave. It is still around but not as bad as it has been

We are all human and need time out for self care

Lici — Sun, 06 May 2018 14:19:48 GMT

Hi MsP,

Uh oh! Asking me about book series is dangerous! I have three bookshelves full of books and then more in a bookshelf that's in my bed frame haha! One I did really enjoy though is the mortal instrument series by Cassandra Clare. There's 6 books in the main series, then there's a prequel series that has 3 books, a series set after the events of the main one with 3 books. There's also another few collaborations that she's done based on characters from the main series as well. I just looked at Cassandra's website and found out there's more! I'm a little bit excited now! The world has everything, angels, demons, nephalim, werewolves, vampires, warlocks. All set in teen angst and first love etc. It's one of my favourites to escape to!

I haven't read Harry potter myself but want to buy the books one of these days! I have read the hunger games and the divergent series. I love dystopians as well!

I better stop now before there's a huge wall of text!

We are all human and need time out for self care

Quercus — Tue, 08 May 2018 15:42:03 GMT

Hi MsP and everyone joining in or reading 😊

Agree with Quirky...Self care IS a necessity. A child health nurse told me recently she tells every new mum (although it applies to everyone) that they require a daily "hour of power". Every single day! One hour to do something for you. Time out from the world.

I also read a blog about how the words self care have been adopted by the media and the meaning butchered to make money.

He wrote that self care doesn't mean doing something fancy so you can post it on social media and impress others. He also wrote that the best kind of self care is not always worth photographing 😊. This struck a chord with me. My self care is gardening. It is for nobody but me. And sometimes it is as simple and unglamorous as digging a hole. Smashing rock with a pick. Sweat and aching muscle.

That said young adult fiction is also excellent self care. Getting lost in a book. If I am not in a Harry mood... My go to is Patricia Briggs. And I'll admit I do own the Twilight saga. The shame 😂😂. Easy reading and toned down violence. That appeals to me.

We are all human and need time out for self care

White_Rose — Tue, 08 May 2018 22:45:06 GMT

Great to read the posts as they piling in. Great thread MsPurple.

How come no one has mentioned The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings? For the younger set and those who are young at heart there is the C S Lewis series The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. For more sci-fi have you read the Anne McCaffrey dragon series? I wonder why they have not been made into a film. All good fantasy books.

I have to admit I need some self care at the moment. I am a bit of a worry wart so making decisions about big things in my life can be be fraught with options not to mention wanting one thing and feeling that another is the best way. Oh how we love to complicate our lives. So my go to distractions ATM are stitching, scrapbooking, meditation and music. The picture of wolves in my avatar is a sample of my cross stitching. It's very much a favourite of mine.

Nat what are you talking about. I still read The Famous Five when I want something that does not tax my brain. I also enjoy Agatha Christie. I agree with your comment that self care does not need to be 'out there'. Gardening is good also.

Having a supportive family is fantastic. So many people with a MI cannot even talk about their problem with family because they are then labelled attention seeking or drama queen or some other derogatory label. I have two daughter who help when I need it.

Quirky I love your words. I think the first step is acknowledging it is time for self care and give ourselves space .
Sometimes we know we need it but we keep saying I will take time off when... Self care is not a luxury or an indulgence it is a necessity. The real problem with giving ourselves some care is by the time we need some serious care we have forgotten how and what to do. This is why Nat's suggestion of "an hour of power" Looking after ourselves and making it a part of our routine is essential to prevent or at least reducing the bad bits in our lives. When it becomes as normal as brushing your teeth I think we are putting ourselves in a good way to help ourselves.

Mary

We are all human and need time out for self care

MsPurple — Fri, 11 May 2018 10:33:18 GMT

HI everyone

I didn't mention Lord of the Rings because I have never read it. I read the first few pages and it was a difficult read so didn't go through with reading it. I should read the Cassandra Clare books. Something different. Maybe it will help with self care other than watching too many youtube videos.

I am glad I took some time off, however I did miss coming on here and helping others out. But I would read a post 5 times and nothing was sinking in. My mind was elsewhere. So I decide o take some time out

I am also obsessed with baths at the moment. Especially now that it is getting a bit colder. I am am looking at some oils to put in the bath to have some aroma therapy as well as a relaxing bath. I feel like espon salts don't do too much and are expensive.

Mary I am so glad I have a supportive family, and room mate. He understands mental health as well because he has depression. We mutually support each other.

I am still struggling a little with concentration, however it is coming back in bits.

We are all human and need time out for self care

blondguy — Fri, 11 May 2018 12:41:13 GMT

Hey MsPurple

You have created a great thread topic here....Nice1 🙂

Just to answer your questions...

Self Care.....I try to have more 'me' time everyday doing as little a possible
I keep following Dr Claire Weekes guidance to be 'gentle' to myself...She has passed away yet had the courage to write a few books about 'genuine and true acceptance' (of our symptoms)
I actually cuddle the 'black dog'... once we made friends he doesn't bite me anymore..seriously
When my concentration falters I know that I am passing my limitations

Hugs and have a great weekend MsPurple 🙂

Paul

We are all human and need time out for self care

MsPurple — Mon, 21 May 2018 10:25:22 GMT

Thanks Paul

I felt motivated to come on the forums a few days ago, however they were either down, or undergoing maintenance. It was a shame. But I felt motivated to come back on tonight for a little bit.

Unfortunately deep sleep seems to be a bit of an issue of late. I wake up a few times a night and just feel like my sleep wasn't the greatest. I have no problem napping, however just a long deep, restful sleep seems to be the problem. I might need to do more meditation before sleep. I do use techonology before bed, but I make sure the blue light is lowered. I usually do this because sometimes being restless in bed keeps me up longer than having youtube on, if this makes sense? I can get so worried I'm not asleep that it keeps me awake. Can be very frustrating. Does anyone else get this?

We are all human and need time out for self care

White_Rose — Mon, 21 May 2018 17:22:21 GMT

I think lack of sleep or broken sleep is up there with losing concentration and a dysfunctional memory. All due to stress of one kind or another. And they feed off each other. Insufficient sleep can really stuff up our concentration and memory goes because we are too tired to access the bit of the brain that does this.

Here it is, 3:00am, and I am sitting at my computer. It's chilly so I will get cold and return to bed. Then when I warm up I get back to sleep but it's a long way round for something that normally we do without thinking.

Paul, love your picture of cuddling the black dog. It's very true we need to make friends with it rather than saying "Shoo, go away". No matter how big and scary it is we need to accept it in our lives. In fact the bigger and more scary the dog looks the more we need to make friends. It seems counter intuitive I know but much easier it is to know exactly where the dog is and what it's doing.

Mary