topic The swing bridge of mental illness in Staying well

The swing bridge of mental illness

white knight — Sun, 25 Feb 2018 00:44:51 GMT

Imagine we are walking along a swing bridge. Every time there is a permanent problem the swing bridge gets narrower. Financial stress, people passing away, accidents, job loss and so on. You hold on until the swing bridge goes wider again, that problem goes away.

Now you approach a mental illness crisis. That swing bridge is still there but without its hand rail. You are balancing and everytime there is an issue, seemingly daily, you lose balance and nearly fall. Is that how you feel? It's terrible. You reach to your partner or a friend and they seem to not notice your plight.

In these situations we need to go one way and one way only- upwards. We need to repair that handrail by various means. We cannot survive just “hoping for the best” or expecting more than what others can give. In fact we cant rely on anyone but professional help.

Consulting a counsellor is a good start because they often see clearer than us what is happening. Mental illness is an oddball because we think we are more capable than what we are, more aware of the issues and feel like we can sort it all out. But like a couple that are pregnant, parenthood doesn’t all come naturally, we have to read books, listen to others to learn how best treat our new baby. Same as learning to drive.

Some methods we can introduce to build that handrail is-

Work with your partner as a team to introduce rules and boundaries
Counselling be it family or personal
Consider two part time jobs rather than one full time. There are several benefits. Not relying on one income gives more income security, Shorter hours in one workplace, a long break between jobs.
Try to eliminate shift work. Sleep is crucial to our well being
Place boundaries on relatives and friends. You don’t need people crossing lines to control you. Mental illness is not a case of our inability but more so our restriction of mental capacity…there is a difference.
Life changes. Consider every possibility. Change in environment. Changes to reduce debt.
If needed, changes to your relationship.

The basics of our lives must have a foundation of security. That swing bridge must be wide enough to make us feel ok, that we are surviving and not losing balance. Then every aspect of our lives improve. We can even lift others up that are just hanging on. But we need to plan changes and introduce boundaries. For others, they are either with us or not. For those that are not, just put them at arms length as many will never understand.

Tony WK

The swing bridge of mental illness

PamelaR — Sun, 25 Feb 2018 01:40:20 GMT

Tony

I find your post very informative and constructive (sorry to use that pun).

The analogy of the swinging bridge and lose of handrails resonates with me.

If you don't mind (not intending to take over your thread - just sharing), I would like to add the following -

Sometime as we're rebuilding the handrail, a storm comes through and blows away our hard work. However, we learn from this and as we rebuild, we put stronger structures in place so the next storm won't blow it away. For me it's been an ongoing process for years now. And while the handrail has been reconstructed, at odd times, a piece of flying debris (e.g. tree) comes crashing through to make a hole. I then need time to repair it.

Hope this has added to your wonderful post Tony and that you don't mind me posting here.

The swing bridge of mental illness

white knight — Sun, 25 Feb 2018 10:58:05 GMT

Not at all Pamela. Love it. And right you are with your analogy.

Metaphors allow us to put into perspective our challenges. Google

Topic: depression, a ship on the high seas- beyondblue

It also allows us to see our situation in a way that is improvable. "I'll get through that storm next time for sure". A storm is an easier way of describing something much more complex.

We are better of with simplistic descriptions.

Tony WK

The swing bridge of mental illness

PamelaR — Sun, 25 Feb 2018 11:03:43 GMT

Thank you Tony.

Simplicity is good - agree completely.

PamelaR

The swing bridge of mental illness

CMF — Thu, 05 Apr 2018 20:27:57 GMT

A lot of good strategies here Tony (and Pam)

thanks for sharing

cmf