topic A Place for Me to Be Exactly Who I Need to Be in Staying well

A Place for Me to Be Exactly Who I Need to Be

Rose_3 — Tue, 23 Oct 2018 11:29:56 GMT

Warm greetings!

First of all, I was in a very dark place and now I feel like I am standing in the sunshine again. But there is still a long way for me to go and so much more for me to do. For my recovery (and on going quality of life) I have been practising self-love, forgiveness and positivity. And it has helped me so much! I am discovering I have a lot of love in my heart but there are still a lot of dark clouds behind me.

So I will be posting whatever I feel is right for me. And I made a promise to myself to be honest, unashamed and kind (to myself and others).

My posts will vary and may sometimes seem strange. But our minds are so beautiful and complex and think in many forms and I intend to share all those forms with you. And I encourage others to share too. If you want to vent with me, vent with me. If you want to forgive with me, forgive with me. We can all learn from each other and the different ways we handle situations and think. And I offer unconditional support and love.

So I will begin with blessing this site with love.

I bless the other users with love
I bless my internet connection with love for allowing me to reach these amazing forums
I bless my phone with love for being able to post here

And I bless mind with love for letting me feel and think and breathe in the first place.

All the best, Rose

(Now I am going to post this before I chicken out!)

A Place for Me to Be Exactly Who I Need to Be

Summer Rose — Tue, 23 Oct 2018 12:17:10 GMT

Hi Rose

I like your style.

Thank you for your positivity and warmth. Thank you for reminding us all that sun always eventually shines. Thank you for putting a smile on my face.

Your post embodied one of my favourite Emily Dickinson quotes: The wounded deer leaps highest.

Kind thoughts to you

A Place for Me to Be Exactly Who I Need to Be

therising — Tue, 23 Oct 2018 18:32:23 GMT

Hi Rose 3

How beautiful you are!

Sending love and positive vibes your way as you continue on your journey of enlightenment. May it be a journey filled with great revelation and many many miracles.

Take care

A Place for Me to Be Exactly Who I Need to Be

Peppermintbach — Tue, 23 Oct 2018 20:16:41 GMT

Hi Rose (and a wave to all),

You have such a beautiful and uplifting spirit..thank you so much for your blessings to all of us here 🙂

I must say that I’m intrigued to learn more about you. I look forward to reading about your thoughts and feelings...very much so...

I really liked this:

My posts will vary and may sometimes seem strange. But our minds are so beautiful and complex and think in many forms and I intend to share all those forms with you.

Thank you for your lovely presence here...

Kind and caring thoughts,

Pepper

A Place for Me to Be Exactly Who I Need to Be

Rose_3 — Wed, 24 Oct 2018 08:49:37 GMT

Greetings All!

For the last month I have been experiencing neck and upper-back stiffness and pain. It began slowly and has gradually increased in intensity. I believe every issue in our lives and our bodies is created by our own minds. So I keep telling myself I need to stop and look inside me and let this negative pattern go. But I keep putting it off. No more!

According to the metaphysical concepts; the neck represents the ability to see other's viewpoints as well as be flexible. And stiffness is created by being stubborn and rigid in one's thinking. The upper-back represents emotional support.

So where am I being stubborn and rigid?

I think it is where my parents are concerned. I hide a lot from them: my emotions, mental issues (which has caused a great deal of problems in the past) and even good things too. I hide my interests from them (except my painting). I hide my interest in the metaphysical concepts, my practising of self-love, my fears, the fact I love and use affirmations and my fascination with witches (and I do not mean pointy-nosed, evil Halloween-type witches!).

(It is funny how taking the time to sit and think things over quietly can make everything so clear suddenly!)

And the reason I hide so much from my parents is that I do not think they would "like" my interests. I know they do not believe in anything spiritual so I am worried of what they would think of me if I did.

But this is where I am feeling non-supported, because I am being stubborn (light-bulb moment!).

I assume what they would think of me. I assume their opinions. Which is silly because only they know their opinions. I have always thought telling them about my "stranger" interests was completely out of the question because they would disapprove. But they might not.

So I choose to release the idea that "my parents disapprove of all my interests and would think me silly if they knew about them." I choose to release this. I stop being suborn about this and choose to believe that my parents love and support me no matter what. And they are more than welcome to have different opinions and interests to mine.

We are all different and perfect
I welcome other viewpoints
I am flexible

And I am actively creating support for myself and I am supported by the Universe itself!

I love sitting down and working things through. I learn more and more about myself every day!

I hope you all had an enlightening day too!

All the best, Rose

A Place for Me to Be Exactly Who I Need to Be

therising — Wed, 24 Oct 2018 19:37:44 GMT

Hi Rose 3

Oh, what an inspiration you are! Thank you for your insight too. I've been shouldering a lot of responsibility in regard to supporting others and, during this time, have not been able to get rid of this upper back pain. You have given me much food for thought. I shall now begin giving some of the responsibility back to others, between now and when I see my chiropractor in a few weeks. Will be interesting to see what happens.

I wish you the best with your parents in regard to them being able to accept the love you have for these things in your life. I think it becomes a matter of people being able to relate in some way. Whether they relate to our passion in an instant or it becomes a gradual process, it is remains their process, which we should not be offended by or take personally. I must say, the funny thing about people who refuse to believe in all that 'weird freaky stuff' (not my words) is whenever something miraculous or quirky happens, you become the go to person for them relaying their amazing experiences (involving synchronicity, coincidence etc). Being a spiritual gal, I find this is typically the case.

I'm wondering whether you have found 'your tribe', a group of like-minded people. Amazing how when you find a group of like-minded people you grow and thrive and the world begins to truly open up because of such inspiration and support. Interesting how 'normal' all depends on the group of people you associate with. We can be 'weird' one minute and the next 'normal', once we step foot in a place filled with people who share our interests and our passions.

You have truly inspired me and I am deeply grateful for the positive connection you have put out into the universe. Take care as you continue on your journey to finding your most authentic self. Continue embracing your inner philosopher!

By the way, I had a reading done a few months back where the guy said to me 'You have had people flinging mud at you for so long (regarding my love of the spiritual life) and you have let it stick. It is time to forgive yourself for losing your way and it is time to stand up, wash yourself off and be proud of who you are'. On my way home from the reading, I stopped at a set of lights. Whilst sitting there, I looked over to find a billboard (for a washing powder) and there were the words 'Wash off the mud'. The universe truly is an amazing and amusing thing!!!

A Place for Me to Be Exactly Who I Need to Be

Rose_3 — Thu, 25 Oct 2018 10:40:31 GMT

Greetings All!

Firstly, thank you so much therising, you are so kind! I am glad that I may have been of some help to you regarding your upper-back pain, I hope things improve. When it comes to finding "my tribe", I have not yet but I would love to. I would absolutely love to be with a person, or even better a group of people, who are like-minded. It would be great to be able to freely share and discuss things which I have never had anyone to discuss them with before. I have never really opened up about myself before so BeyondBlue is my way of 'opening up the channels of communication' and hopefully I will continue to gain courage and can someday find a "tribe" of my own; somewhere I feel I belong.

I love the "Wash off the mud" story! Brilliant. The Universe has no set way of telling us things, it seems to like to spring little message in some of the most unlikely of places! I find sometimes I suddenly think of a song I have not heard in a while and I just cannot get it out of my head. It usually has some sort of verse in it which relates to whatever I am worrying about or doing at the time. And every time this has happened I put the radio on and that song is playing or plays next. Now if suddenly I go "Oh I have not heard that in a while!" I put on the radio because I know that they are about to play it!

And, again, thank you to all of you for your kind words and lovely replies, I will leave you with this:

I love to write, I love to sing;
I love the joy that words do bring.

So to all those who read my words and smile;
You make all I have been through worthwhile!

10 Things I am grateful for today:

The fact that my new job is going great!
My beautiful Puddy (who is a cat) for laying upside-down and looking at me with those big eyes while you were purring. You always make me so happy!
The car, for safely taking me to work and back.
The salad I had for lunch.
The rechargeable lantern that is just brilliant!
The lovely black skirt that is my favourite and was cheap from an op-shop.
Rainwater from a tap! Such a wonderful thing!
My acrylic paints, so I can paint rocks.
My comfy Pj's and fluffy dressing gown. (How could I not be grateful for this?)
The weather today.

I hope that everyone had a good day today and that you got to smile many times and, if not, at least once. And for those who had a bad day, tomorrow will be better, it will be filled with joy and laughter!

Remember: Love is everywhere, all you have to do is look for it.

All the best, Rose

A Place for Me to Be Exactly Who I Need to Be

Rose_3 — Fri, 26 Oct 2018 11:19:53 GMT

Greetings!

Friday! My first week of work over and it went great. I am so grateful that it all went well and I actually enjoyed it!

Resentment releasing:

Resentment does nobody any good and yet most of us seem to have some resentment, whether we are aware of it or not. I know I harbor a lot of resentment for my bother. He was always "The Favourite". But resenting him is only hurting me and it is time to let go. However, first I believe venting and letting out some of my anger toward his will make forgiving and loving him easier.

So... (note: I will probably get pretty emotionally worked up with this so my grammar and order may get a bit out.)

Dear brother,

Why did you get to be the favourite?! How it that fair? Mum and Dad are so proud of you, much more than they are of me. And you always had to have everything your way. Even when we were just kids, we always only did the things you wanted to do. And everything that I do you have to try and be better at it! You can even draw, but that is my thing! In Scouts you always had to do all of the badges that I wanted to do and achieve them better. You are so competitive! I feel like my whole life has been a competition and I always come second! You put me down at every occasion and sneer at any of my interests you deem "stupid and a load of rubbish". You really are quite horrible to me. But you do not see it! Do you realise that you are the favourite? Probably not, you probably think you are so hard done by. Well poor you! And school... well at school you had to be Dux didn't you? You had to do "harder" subjects and just be the best ever student in the whole world. And I hated you so much for it. I hated your perfectness!!! My perfect brother who had everything go right in his world. And then I have to hear about how hard your life is from Mum! You are not the one that fell apart. You could not possibly imagine WHAT I HAVE BEEN THROUGH! Oh... but having a mental health issue is just me being weak because you have everything SO MUCH HARDER AND YOU'RE COPING JUST FINE!!!!! I think that deep down I still hate you.

Wow... I do feel better now. It is going to take me a long time to really let this go but as least I have realised that on some level I do really still hate him. Now I know this I can work at releasing it. This post has got much longer than I thought it would so I will just stick with venting today and work on releasing my resentment in another post.

Best wishes, Rose

A Place for Me to Be Exactly Who I Need to Be

therising — Fri, 26 Oct 2018 21:30:58 GMT

Hi Rose

I am glad you feel you have somewhere you can freely vent. Here on the forums is where you will find understanding and support. By the way, I'm also glad your week at work went well.

Your brother sounds like a very driven and self-focused person. I believe self-focus can be a good thing to a degree yet once it exceeds a certain point then it can become an issue for a number of reasons. 'Harsh, judgemental and discouraging' are the traits of a person who takes self-focus too far, to the point of destruction (Eg: Using words like 'Stupid and a load of rubbish'). I know a few of these folk!

Based on your previous posts, I agree that you do not come close to being like your brother: With intelligence defined as 'the ability to process information', you have a unique intelligence which recognises the importance behind inspiring others. And whilst your brother commits to his performance defining him to some degree, you are obviously invested in evolving into your most authentic self, beyond performance.

Rose, you have already learned (in one way) that you are not your brother. You are not even the person you have always believed yourself to be. I pray you come to know yourself as that rose who, with great strength, manages to push through the dirt and s#*t (manure) in order to continue growing. This way you will come to fully bloom. You are an outstanding form of beauty in this world, which cannot be defined by mere words, even these.

Sticking with the garden analogy, there are certain folk in this world who are like 'climbers'. They'll announce their existence by spreading them self just about everywhere. Then there are those who, like a single rose, will announce their one of a kind colourful display. As a mum, I always encourage my kids to be roses - powerful, awesome, colourful and unique, with gentle/delicate aspects.

Looking back, I realise my own depression began with self-questioning - who am I (compared to others), continued on with self-doubt - I am not good enough (compared to others), grew to self-resentment - I will never be good enough (compared to others) and finally ended with self-acceptance - I am more than 'good enough' (I am beyond comparison).

Seeing you are evolving, in ways, far beyond the ways of your family members, look for support. If you happen to live in Melbourne, a great place for inspiration is 'Mystical Dragon'. Even if you're not in Melbourne, look them up on the internet to get an idea of what's out there.

🙂

A Place for Me to Be Exactly Who I Need to Be

Rose_3 — Sun, 28 Oct 2018 03:20:28 GMT

Greetings,

Dear therising,

What absolutely beautiful analogies! You are a truly wonderful person.

I used to always want to be like my brother. I always thought he was "better" than me and I wanted to be like that. It is only relatively recently that I realised I am not like him, and I do not want to be. In a way I feel sorry for him; his world seems very cynical, practical and black and white. But he is happy with it like that. He is not a nasty person; anything he has ever done/said that hurt me he did not do it with that intention. He does not realise, at all, the damage that his words cause. And he does work hard. It has taken me a long time to accept that he deserves to succeed and be happy, as we all do.

Congratulations on learning to accept yourself! That is a really brilliant thing to accomplish. I am gaining more self-acceptance everyday but it is still a working progress.
"We are meant to be different. When we can accept this, then there is no competition and no comparison...We have come to this planet to express who we are."
You Can Heal Your Life, By Louise Hay.

I am more than 4000km from Melbourne! But I will definitely look "Mystical Dragon" up.

Thank you for your advice, insight and kindness.

Nature's Beauty in the Colours of the Rainbow:

Red- for roses in full bloom

Orange - for a blazing sunset

Yellow - for the sun shining bright

Green - for the grass and forests

Blue - for the sky so vast

Indigo - for the deepest oceans

Violet - for a thunderous storm-cloud

Best wishes, Rose

A Place for Me to Be Exactly Who I Need to Be

Rose_3 — Tue, 30 Oct 2018 11:37:45 GMT

Greetings all,

I have a habit of watching YouTube/TV and listening to music until I start to feel unwell whenever things in my life are going good. Recently I managed a full 30 day detox from it and afterwards it was almost gone. I thought I had released it, but that is not so! I am falling back into this habit. To let it go for good I need to get to the heart of it. I put it off again and again. But I love myself, so I am releasing this self-destructive habit so I can live a happy, healthy life!

So today I am going to start digging. Usually when I try this there are so many possibilities that I get overwhelmed and give in. This time I have something I have never had before; I have support. I do not feel like I am stumbling around blind all alone.

So lets begin…
Why do I do this, what does this cause in my life that I have learned to “need”?
The main effect this has in my life is to keep me from doing things. Either because I am letting the hours slip away while I am watching/listening or because it makes me feel ill.

So the reason within me for this habit is to stop me from “doing things”.

Why? (This is where I usually fall down the rabbit hole.)
It could be a number of reasons:

Believing I do not deserve to be happy
Believing I would be terrible at anything I try, so do not bother
To keep me safe from the pain, terror and humiliation I have felt in the past
To delay my good
Because I feel guilt

Whenever I come back to this issue these are the reasons that come forward. Maybe they are layered together.
I think it started with my core belief of “I am not as good as my brother.” Which corresponds with 1, 2 and 4. And this caused me to create an experience which caused so much pain in my life and is my biggest secret and shame. This caused 3. By not “doing things” it is keeping me safe. And that, and the fact that the habit is “my fault”, caused guilt and then punishment. Which just fuels the habit even more.

Wow! I have never seen that so clearly before! Normally it is so muddled I do not really work anything out, but that all just fell into place. Fantastic! So how to start tackling this… I will start at the surface with the guilt, then the experience. And then get to my brother…

I feel great now I have a plan of action!

And if anyone can see a reason or approach that I have not, feel free to let me know. A set of fresh eyes might pick up something that has never occurred to me!

All the best, Rose

A Place for Me to Be Exactly Who I Need to Be

therising — Tue, 30 Oct 2018 18:45:41 GMT

Hi Rose

Glad you are coming to find your truth through a set of welcomed revelations.

Personally, I like to see guilt as being a constructive thing. I believe it is our call to greater consciousness and is not meant to make us suffer. I often compare it to a signpost: It calls us to stop and choose between the path we've been on and a new path. Without the 'sign' of guilt, we could not consciously acknowledge choice.

I get what you mean by the 'safe' aspect of addiction. In sticking with what is safe, there is no hard work and self-doubt to face in relation to overcoming things. Believing our self capable of taking on the hard work required for change can be a challenge, especially when self-esteem is not high. Speaking of high, with certain addictions, they can definitely give us a number of highs. It is always tempting to stick with what satisfies us, what creates some kind of buzz for us in some way. In the process, we come to deny our self the chance to find healthier ways towards satisfaction as well as productivity. Must say, I'm a serious self-saboteur when it comes to eating. I experience the high/satisfaction (aka 'payoff'), then feel the guilt, promise not to do it again and then the cycle repeats. Have to seek out a new high which encourages motivation and change.

By the way, a great book when it comes to personal insight: 'The Six Pillars of Self-esteem' by Nathaniel Branden. Includes:

The practice of living consciously
The practice of self-acceptance
The practice of self-responsibility
The practice of self-assertiveness
The practice of living purposefully
The practice of personal integrity

As he mentions, all these aspects take practice in order to be fully achieved. He believes that healthy self esteem comes down to 2 things: Self-respect (feeling deserving) and self-efficacy (feeling capable in regard to coping with anything that comes our way in life). When opportunities are presented to us, we must believe in the fact that not only do we deserve these opportunities but we are also capable of handling them with confidence.

Take care of your self Rose as more becomes revealed to you throughout your journey of self-discovery

A Place for Me to Be Exactly Who I Need to Be

Rose_3 — Sat, 03 Nov 2018 10:08:02 GMT

Greetings,

I have been having a bit of a bad day today. I am upset so this post might be a bit all over the place.

To start with, before my mental health issues came to a head I was studying at TAFE. But when my mental health deteriorated to the point where I could not go on anymore I pulled out of TAFE (which included the humiliation of letting my parents know how much of a mess I had become). And the main reason I could not go to TAFE anymore happened at work today. I have been working for two weeks now and it was all going so well. Except today things started to go wrong.

I cannot explain this properly without confessing what the problem is. It is a problem I have had for 6 to 7 years and I have never let anyone know what it is. I have kept it secret because I am ashamed of it. I think it is so stupid. It is such a stupid thing let ruin your life. It is funny, in a way, because if anyone else said they had this problem I would not think them stupid at all. But with myself I think I am just so annoyed that I have let this get so bad!

I really want this problem to get better so I am going to just take the plunge and confess!

I have a phobia of vomiting, especially if there are other people around.

There it is! My biggest failing! I have come so far in discovering who I am and learning to accept myself and the process of life, but that problem still remains!

And I am so... so ANGRY that I have let it take so much of my life. But confessing it is the first step to healing it and I am going to let it go for good! I am very determined to do this!

The problem at TAFE was that I was so scared I was going to throw up I would actually make myself nearly throw up and I would have to excuse myself from class and go home. I have been fine at work so far, I was handling everything so well. But today I was not feeling very well and I started to panic and that made me feel really ill. I managed to make it to the end of my shift but only just and I was terrified! Now I am worried about going in on Monday.

But I am going to try and stay positive and tell myself that I will be fine and I am always safe.

I trust the process of life to bring only good to me.

Now I am going to press post before I get too scared to!

All the best, Rose

PS: therising, I will definitely look up that book, it sounds very interesting.

A Place for Me to Be Exactly Who I Need to Be

therising — Sat, 03 Nov 2018 21:04:19 GMT

Hi Rose

I'm relieved for you that you have now shared your fear (emetophobia). This must be an incredibly stressful thing to live with. With thanks to you, your post has led me to receive some online education, as I had no knowledge of this particular phobia. My heart truly goes out to those (of course, your self included) whose lives are deeply impacted by this issue, in a number of seriously challenging ways.

A lot of the sites tend to suggest Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT). Wondering if this is something you've ever looked into. With the mind/body/energy balance being so important in life, sometimes our thought networks need some tweaking in order to stop them impacting our body and energy. I'm sure you can relate to how your fear creates certain sensations and chemistry throughout your body (chest and stomach to name a couple of areas). And the change in energy a fear brings about...well...I'm sure you can relate to that too; when a fear seriously grounds us, we can lose a bit of that connection to the universe and our faith in it to see us through a challenge. By the way, some may say that fear/anxiety will impact certain chakra centres/energy centres such as 3rd eye, throat, heart and solar plexus. Maybe this could be another area to explore.

Rose, you are powerful in many ways, including the way you made it through to the end of your shift and the way you have confessed your fear. Continue seeking greater power over your mind (aka your brain at work) as you continue on your brave and enlightening journey of self-mastery and higher connection.

Take care and know that I will be sending positive vibes your way on Monday

A Place for Me to Be Exactly Who I Need to Be

Rose_3 — Wed, 07 Nov 2018 11:43:36 GMT

Warm Greetings!

Thank you so much therising! I did not know that my phobia had an actual name and was a "real" (for lack of a better word) phobia. I did not realise that I was not the only one with this fear. Now, knowing its name, I have done some research which has given me a great deal of hope regarding my condition.

I am extremely proud to say that I found the courage to tell my parents about me phobia in a letter. I thought it would be difficult to write, and although I did get quite emotional whilst writing it, the right words just came easily. It is such a relief to not have to try and hide it from them anymore!

I managed another shift at work, which was so much easier after receiving some encouragement from my Mum, and I am going back to work tomorrow and Friday and I feel really good about it.

I thought I would add something positive into this post as my last few have been a bit "heavy".

10 Reasons to Laugh

Laughter is the best medicine!
There is always something funny everywhere you look!
Laughter is the most beautiful music!
Laughter is infectious!
You cannot be mad at yourself when you are laughing!
It is memories of smiling and laughing which keep you going through the tough days!
There is no such thing as too much laughing!
There is nothing like having someone to laugh with!
Giggling makes all your worries fade away for a moment!
No two laughs are the same! Everybody laughs differently and that is truly amazing!

I hope everyone has had a good day filled with laughter and enlightenment and times when they have recognised beauty they may have missed in the past.

Best wishes, Rose

A Place for Me to Be Exactly Who I Need to Be

Rose_3 — Fri, 16 Nov 2018 09:52:41 GMT

Warm Greetings!

I have not posted in a while as I have had to rest my eyes from the screen. I get eye-strain/headaches very easily and I know they are a main trigger of mine. So I am doing what I can to get the most out of these forums whilst still looking after myself.

My week has been fairly good. I managed four shifts at work and they went reasonable well. Today I treated myself and went clothes shopping (in an op-shop so it all only came to $23 and I get to love and cherish something that would otherwise have been thrown away) and bought a number of truly beautiful dresses and skirts.

Self Challenge

I have a little challenge for myself and I know I will be far more inclined to achieve it if others know about it. So some background information; I own five lipsticks and I love them. They are beautiful and I look really amazing wearing them, however...
I know that Mum and Dad do not approve of/like make-up so I have never actually worn them. I put them on in the bathroom or in my bedroom and admire myself in the mirror and then clean them off thoroughly. Okay, that sounds pretty silly now I have actually read over it myself. I did not realise how foolish it really was until I wrote it down.

If I love myself, which I am pretty confident that I am actually starting to truly love myself, and if I love the way I look in lipstick, I can be completely free and unself-conscious wearing it then! Even in front of my parents!

So my challenge...
I challenge myself to wear lipstick in front of my parents at least once before next Friday!

I have already come so far with my self-confidence and with opening up to my parents about some of my problems and I am so proud of myself for that. It is time that I stop worrying about their approval and just love myself and everything I am and everything I do!

I wish to everyone the courage to do something you have always wanted to do. We are all amazing and unique and perfect!

All the best, Rose

A Place for Me to Be Exactly Who I Need to Be

therising — Fri, 16 Nov 2018 18:22:34 GMT

Hi Rose

You are inspiring, as usual. I wish you luck with your lipstick challenge. Whilst you're at it, perhaps you could give the mirror a kiss and then stand back whilst proclaiming 'That one's for you Rose. I love you!'

I was telling my son just the other day that by accepting a challenge we are accepting a commitment to getting rid of whatever conflict is going on in our head. When 2 or more thoughts are at war with each other, both peace and progress are found when we give our full commitment to one thought alone. The thought that must win out over all involves the one that relates to our positive evolution. I think we're pretty much designed that way (to naturally evolve without too much internal resistance or conflict).

By the way, I imagine your parents perhaps believe in natural beauty, without makeup. Of course, no harm is done when adding a splash of colour to what is already a masterpiece.

Looking forward to hearing how it all goes!

A Place for Me to Be Exactly Who I Need to Be

Rose_3 — Wed, 21 Nov 2018 13:15:15 GMT

Greetings All!

Challenge Complete! Well... I do not know why I was so nervous about it or left it so long. Mum saw me with lipstick first and just said I looked very "sassy" (it was bright red). Dad saw me with lipstick this afternoon and he did not even make a comment. So, that went really well! I was worried I might get a lecture or a disapproving comment, but I forget I am not a child anymore. If I had done this three years ago I probably would have. Things have changed now. I am not a child anymore; Mum, Dad and I are all adults. It has taken me a while to really realise and accept that. The dynamic is no longer that I am a child and I need their permission. Now I have become and adult and I make the decisions in my life. The only person I need permission from is me! What a wonderful, wonderful thing!

So much has changed recently. I feel as if everything has changed! In a good way. It started with my "problems" coming to a head, then pulling out of TAFE and moving back in with my parents as a wreck, to put it honestly. Then there were the months of not knowing what I was doing, not wanting to do anything and regretting everything I had ever done. And there was the guilt and the shame. Then we moved to a rural property, which is really fantastic. Then I decided to change.

I realised I needed to change months (well, actually years) ago, but I truly decided to change just recently. I made September a full Negativity Detox with no pressures or obligations to do anything but focus on looking after myself. I changed my diet, started a regular diary, did yoga, set a fun activity for me to do everyday and a whole lot of other things too. And the impact on my life has been truly phenomenal! Afterwards I was brave enough (and more importantly felt ready) to face the world again and got a job. From there things have only gotten better and better! I finally found the courage to speak up about my problems. Hence the forums. I am also planning to see a GP.

Wow. Just wow.

When I first learnt about Louise Hay's concept that our thoughts create every experience in our lives, our health, everything. I did not believe it.

Now I do. I have seen it work for me. I have experienced it . And I love it!

I accept myself and I accept that my life is all good!

I apologise for "going on" a bit, I just really needed to send that "out there".

I wish to everyone a wonderful day tomorrow. May you smile and laugh and be the sunshine in your world!

Best Wishes, Rose

A Place for Me to Be Exactly Who I Need to Be

Summer Rose — Thu, 22 Nov 2018 06:14:41 GMT

Hi Rose

So heartwarming to read your above post. Thanks for making me smile 🙂

You are an unrepeatable miracle. Not my words, they belong to Diane Roger, but they are a perfect gift for you.

Kind thoughts always

A Place for Me to Be Exactly Who I Need to Be

Rose_3 — Thu, 22 Nov 2018 08:48:57 GMT

Thank you so much Summer Rose.

What a lovely thing to say! I believe that we are all unrepeatable miracles, yourself included!

Wishing you the best, Rose