topic Social Media in Staying well

Social Media

Steph — Wed, 15 May 2013 01:16:12 GMT

What does everyone think of social media in terms of affecting your anxiety/depression/bipolar etc.? I have been told to cancel my social media pages because my husband told me that he notices I get overly anxious and depressed when I go on facebook. I've started to cut down now because I have noticed it too. It seems so trivial, but its almost taboo NOT to have facebook...you kind of become an outcast!! Thoughts? (Please bear in mind that I acknowledge this is trivial, but I was just interested to hear if anyone else is affected by social media like I am).

Cheers!

Social Media

The_Real_David_Charles — Wed, 15 May 2013 10:25:23 GMT

Dear Steph,

What do we do as simple human bodies every 24 hrs ? Let's write a simple list. Breathe, Move, Think, Digest, Relate and so on ad infinitum. All important stuff and all things we could not function without.

What does social media do ? OK, you get the point. But, maybe because the internet is 24/7 we mistakenly believe that everything on it is valueable, including my response. OMG, if I don't write a response to Steph the world will end !

Putting technology in perspective for a sec, the first Talkies that made Silent Movies pretty much redundant (but "The Artist" Silent Movie did win at the Oscars a couple of years ago) were met with the same feeling. People literally seemed to either embrace the change or feel that it "destroyed" the world of the movie.

You probably need a bit of balance. And your husband is right because he sees you pour everything into Facebook (for ex) till midnight and then rise before 6am to check it again. LIke you can't function without it. Even the post only comes once a day. Too bad the internet doesn't switch off now and then.

Adios, David.

PS I cannot go on Facebook as you can see I don't have a face.

Social Media

Scotty2013 — Mon, 20 May 2013 13:36:05 GMT

The Real David Charles said:
Dear Steph,

What do we do as simple human bodies every 24 hrs ? Let's write a simple list. Breathe, Move, Think, Digest, Relate and so on ad infinitum. All important stuff and all things we could not function without.

What does social media do ? OK, you get the point. But, maybe because the internet is 24/7 we mistakenly believe that everything on it is valueable, including my response. OMG, if I don't write a response to Steph the world will end !

Putting technology in perspective for a sec, the first Talkies that made Silent Movies pretty much redundant (but "The Artist" Silent Movie did win at the Oscars a couple of years ago) were met with the same feeling. People literally seemed to either embrace the change or feel that it "destroyed" the world of the movie.

You probably need a bit of balance. And your husband is right because he sees you pour everything into Facebook (for ex) till midnight and then rise before 6am to check it again. LIke you can't function without it. Even the post only comes once a day. Too bad the internet doesn't switch off now and then.

Adios, David.

PS I cannot go on Facebook as you can see I don't have a face.

Hi David long time no see "burnt pav" ..Hi Steph only if it's like below! lol...Moderation i guess TC.

http://www.baklol.com/pdata/t/l-1668.jpg

Social Media

phoenix — Fri, 31 May 2013 15:02:15 GMT

Hi Steph,

I think it effects my anxiety very much. It sometimes makes me feel like a loser bcoz everyone else on Facebook seems to being be doing better than me in life, so it gets me down a lot.

I tend to check up on my ex and his new gf and that doesn't make me feel so great. Recently my ex's gf updated her profile pic of herself in front of a place my ex, our daughter and i used to go to and so I updated my profile pic of my daughter in front of the same place. She took off that profile pic of herself and uploaded a new one and other images in response to my recent profile pic change, so immediately knew that she knew who I was on Facebook and that she also checks up on me. She's better than me cause she has a good job that pays well and owns her own home in a wealthy suburb and she has my ex. I'm a stay at home mum living with my parents and I go to TAFE once a week so it a big difference compared to her. Material things don't matter much to me and I live within my means. If wealth is what makes them happy than they belong together.

I have banned myself from facebook for long periods but I always break it, bcoz it just so easy to turn the computer on when I'm home and log on. I go online to check my bank statements, emails and do some online something and I tell myself Ill just log on and quickly check my Facebook, but it ends up being hours. When I log off i try to get to sleep but I can't bcoz I'm consumed with negative thoughts about my life. So yeah social media doesn't help anxiety and depression, I think finding something else to occupy my time will prevent me from trying to log on to social media sites. I think going cold turkey is the way to go, maybe get friends to email or message you on the phone instead.

Social Media

sarahl — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 11:37:13 GMT

Hi Steph,

I have built my entire career on and around Social Media but am now starting to see it as a curse. I am 'on' every minute of the day when I am awake and it is becoming a burden.

I have recently had an anxiety relapse and watching everyone go about their awesome lives on Facebook makes it that much harder for me at home, knowing I don't have the capacity to do any of that stuff at the moment.

On the flip side, if I didn't know what they were all doing, I'd be using my imagination and everything would of course be some much MORE amazing and wonderful that I was missing out on and I'd probably feel worse.

Cache 22.

I think you need to have it - its truly a part of our lives now, but we really need to moderate it. Don't be friends with those whose statuses bother us that much, or ex's etc etc. Its all about balance.

Cheers

Social Media

ConfusedKady — Sat, 22 Jun 2013 15:40:39 GMT

Hi steph

I feel that social media has a similar effect to me. Mostly because I get caught up in comparing myself to others. Not good. My boyfriend calls it "fakebook" and doesn't have a profile and my best friend has recently deactivated her account. No one's life is perfect, no matter how fabulous it might seem on Facebook. Don't buy into the bullshit.

Kady

Social Media

The_Real_David_Charles — Sun, 23 Jun 2013 02:30:37 GMT

Dear Scotty,

Burnt pav rules ! Where have you been ? Sorry, back to Steph....

Dear Steph,

Just wanted to add that I used to have breakfast with my wife and TALK. Now she is so immersed in her ipad that I basically sit there thinking "I wonder if she would notice if I flushed it down the toilet ?". And if she forgets something in her research (Ph D) I am blamed because I deigned to TALK during breakfast. It's kind of like having a 3rd person at the dining table.

When we get to the stage of implanting devices into our heads so that we can read emails and update exciting Facebook stuff like "Went to the shops today and bought shoes" then we can just stay in bed more with a potty and Survival Snacks. It's almost at that stage anyway with the new google glasses for ski-ing. So you can shut out the glare of the sun whilst looking at techie info. Why would you want to go thousands of kms to an expensive ski resort to check on your emails while you ski ?

Come to the Alps. Ski to your heart's content whilst avoiding any physical social contact other than the odd tree of cliff top. Check on the Dow Jones Index going Up as you go Down.

Adios,David.

PS At least with a newspaper you could say "Have you finished with that ?" and grab it for a look. With social media it never ends. We didn't have a tv for 8 years once and the only big thing we really mised was 9/11. But an hour later at work all was revealed. You didn't have a tv for 8 years ??? You didn't have oxygen ???

Social Media

gentianne14 — Thu, 10 Jul 2014 01:10:37 GMT

My rant over social medias:

Yesterday I've posted in a forum. I was looking for help to solve an issue I have with a travel agency.

A first person commented saying my post was confusing and ended saying I was wrongly accusing and of defamation. Then another followed up. And then the 1st person stabbed again.

I can assure you I'm an honest person... and naive. I still don't understand why such people would say that, why they have this need of hurting other for no reason?

Thanks to 1 and only 1 person that crossed my life yesterday, I've been feeling down for 2 days. I can't get rid of all these words he said coming back in head again and again...

So internet and social medias can be a great help but it also can be your worse enemy!!!

And as I'm very silly, I'm posting again in a social media!

Social Media

AGrace — Thu, 10 Jul 2014 09:15:14 GMT

Hi Steph,

We are social beings with a strong urgency to have connections, I just think face to face connections are much more valuable than the virtual type. Did my day get better because I discovered one of my friends was eating a muffin, my niece went to the movies, my mum poked me, my sister is doing a new fitness program? NO. Is it of much value that I have 163 virtual friends? NO. Am I a better person for poking my mum back and sharing a link to a youtube video? NO.

Give me real time with my loved ones any day:)

AGrace

Social Media

white knight — Thu, 10 Jul 2014 12:43:43 GMT

Agreeing with AGrace. Dropped my Facebook friends down from 163 to 45 thereabouts. Much better. Limited my time on it down from 4 hours a day to 30 minutes.

I've got my life back. My wife has her husband back. And Facebook is in my life at the appropriate amount.

Social Media

steph01 — Mon, 14 Jul 2014 11:21:31 GMT

Hi Steph,

I really struggle with being consumed by my Facebook account. I need it for university and I also gain more clients for my fitness business but I have become aware that I am using it more regularly then what I would like. I find that I am on my FaceBook for half an hour or so before I go to sleep and I don't feel relaxed or positive after being on it for too long.

Thanks for starting this conversation, it has made me consider that spending too much time of Facebook really affects my depressive mood.

Steph

Social Media

HppyCamel — Sun, 20 Jul 2014 20:08:07 GMT

Hi steph,

Many have pointed out that social media can be a problem, and I'm not about to disagree with them.

I believe I have quite a problem with checking Facebook way too often, it's currently 6am, I've been awake for a few hours, sick with worry about the coming week, and I have been checking social media on my phone from time to time, among other things such as reading this forum.

I believe that social media can be a good tool, for organizing events, keeping in touch, however I have been seriously considering blocking everyone who is a real person from showing up in my feed, for the very reasons others have pointed out, leaving only the news related pages that follow there.

I don't know if this reply was helpful on a week old thread but this has just been my thoughts on the matter.

Social Media

Janice1 — Fri, 06 Nov 2015 02:21:53 GMT

I think social media is definitely a main source of depression and anxiety, especially for teens on Instagram today. I guess most of us realise that Instagram has emerged to become an important marketing tool for companies, especially fashion brands. On Instagram, we are overwhelmed with pictures of beautiful people and luxurious goods. It could be damaging to our mental health if we do not take this issue seriously. I do not think that we can totally unplug from social media. But, as an alternative solution, i think it would be helpful if Instagram users try to reduce the number of strangers they follow on Instagram so that we are not constantly comparing ourselves to whatever we see on the platform. What do you think?
- JW

Social Media

MisterM — Fri, 20 Nov 2015 04:17:59 GMT

I have been unfriended recently by some Facebook friends and it has gotten me feeling a bit down about it. I am asking myself, am I a bad person or something.
I noticed an old university friend I haven't seen in ages unfriended me but didn't unfriend a mutual friend who he also hasn't seen for the same amount of time.
Also, most recently a fellow artist removed me but kept other artists.
I don't think I am annoying on Facebook, I don't post my every single move like some people do, I might maybe share an article here and there, comment on posts, like stuff.
I don't understand. I wish I could ask these people that unfriended me but it'd come across weird.
I just want to know why people don't like me.
Sorry if that might sound childish, but it's making me question myself, am I stupid, unfunny, irritating, offensive, what is it.

Social Media

white knight — Fri, 20 Nov 2015 10:36:42 GMT

Hi Mister M,

Imagine you and your friends are an apple. You are the skin, they are the apple under the skin and some are the core.

The core are the popular people, they want for little, are always pursued by others for advice and for social events. These "core" people have a close relationship with other core people, other pips. You will never become a core person because you are the skin. A core person isn't interested in a person of the skin...skin people aren't where the fun is, the action is under the skin not with the skin.

This is a metaphor of course but it helps to clarify what we question about others peoples views of us...why we don't fit in. So what's the answer?

The first step is acceptance of ourselves as what we are, fringe dwellers of society. Living on the fringe means we don't/cant fit in naturally with most of the population no matter how hard we try. Once you've accepted yourself as being "quirky" perceptions in your mind about people change. You begin to enter a comfort zone, finally you find happiness. So how do we get there?

Google "famous people with bipolar" or other such questions. You'll find many famous people have had it, or depression and the like. Most of these actors, presidents, prime ministers etc are clever people, talented, some are geniuses. They certainly don't fit the "common" mould. you could look at this fact this way- "oh, I'm one of the abnormal ones" or you can look at it this way "I'm no sheep, I'm unique".

The second step is to review the company you keep. "Ducks of a feather stick together". In our cases others with mental illness (as long as their illness doesn't burden us too much and visa versa) or some that have compassion and try to understand. These are the people we should embrace. Try to compete with those core individuals is futile. Realise that there is a positive in every negative. Even mental illness has positives. Of course there is likely more negatives but to only focus on the positives reaps rewards. It leads to contentment- peace.

The last step is seclusion. It isn't so bad to wind down your Facebook input. Have less club/group attendance, lead the quiet life. The benefits are less chance of our sensitivity being tested usually by those core people identifying an easy target (bullies)

This all leads to a level of self assuredness. This little arrogance is our protection.

We grow a thicker skin. We smile more. We are safer.

Tony WK

Social Media

MisterM — Fri, 20 Nov 2015 11:44:13 GMT

Hi Tony WK,

Thank you heaps for your post.
Not everyone on my facebook knows about my mental illness.
I don't post about it or mention it. So people wouldn't unfriend me for that.
I post about clever things, not where I am eating or if I am doing gym.
I usually post about social issues, political matters, music, my love of the Simpsons.
I can't see what makes some unfriend me.
I am just overly sensitive, always have been and always will.

Social Media

white knight — Sat, 21 Nov 2015 04:13:04 GMT

Hi Mister M

Some of us sure are sensitive.

I wrote an article about this some time ago I think might be worth a look. Google "Depression and sensitivity - a connection? - Beyondblue"

With my wife and I, we had known each other for 25 years before we dated then married. We made a few promises to each other to help us cope with arguments and the like. eg We knew that having a time limit of being upset was wise. We set it at around 5 minutes. It was a tough call but following our first argument I wa sin a rage and she reminded me about that limit. I cooled quickly in order to fulfil that obligation. It worked. And visa-versa soon after.

So strategies can be put into place to combat our sensitivities, its just hard to maintain those decisions.

Cheers

Tony WK

Social Media

Lookingforpeace — Sun, 22 Nov 2015 23:52:53 GMT

I completely agree that social media can cause anxiety, and it did for me for a while. But it is a part of life now and you may not be willing to delete it as it does provide some form of "connection" to others. In light of that, you need to have your own set of guidelines/reminders so it doesn't make your anxiety worse. For me, they are:

Know that sometimes what people post is all for show and not their reality. I knew of a couple who used to post lovey dovey stuff about each other all the time and it made me feel so bad as I was having relationship issues at the time. Well I just found out they are getting a divorce!! Rule 1 - it's not real
limit your usage time. I have recently stopped going on during work hours. Sure I might occasionally break the rule and hop on but I TRY not to. What that means is that when I do go on I am just scrolling through a whole days worth of stuff pretty quickly without really absorbing anything
use it for good not evil. There are some positives with Facebook. I have reconnected with two old school colleagues because of Facebook who are now my closest friends. I use it to keep up to date with events and friends holiday snaps, I share cute photos of my dog, and tag friends/my husband in funny clips and memes
Dont stalk your ex. I am still getting the hang of this one hehe

good luck!

Social Media

MisterM — Mon, 23 Nov 2015 04:27:09 GMT

Thanks Tony. I found and replied to your thread.

Social Media

MisterM — Mon, 23 Nov 2015 07:53:28 GMT

I just got unfriended again.
My day goes from bad to worse.
I haven't posted anything on my wall to upset anyone.
I commented in reply to a post this person made and she unfriended me, because of that I assume.
All I commented was ''me too'' to sympathise with her not sleeping well.
I can only assume it was because of that, she has like 900 ''friends'' so it's definitely not a cull.
Am I so horrible as a person, that someone I recently met on a musicians page and added got rid of me within a week. I feel so down about this, no one likes me 😞