topic Positive Reinforcement Maybe. in Staying well

Positive Reinforcement Maybe.

lookingforme — Sat, 03 Sep 2016 12:51:39 GMT

So, my psychologist has pointed out to me that when I comment on my life, I don't comment on anything good that may have happened, along with the bad I feel. It all seems to get overwhelmed. I have also been told that I don't necessarily celebrate my achievements. I deem it useless, but apparently it's good for me (who knew?). If do look at what I have achieved, it is the same as noting facts in a history book. This happened, yes, because I did this, so what? That is what I think. Mostly, I think it because I go through such mental turmoil to achieve that to think back on the process hurts me too much. This was true when I did my Honours year - up until the end of last year I could not, not cry when I thought of that year. Graduation from uni was a shambles, I ended up going to a shopping center and cried in a corner somewhere away from anyone I knew. Anyway, I think that's the reason, the struggle is too painful to remember, and never forgotten.

Someone on these forums (*Cough* Carol *Cough) suggested that I come up with a good thing in my day everyday on here, for people who I know actually care about me to see, and somehow the fact that yes, I have done good, will be reinforced. I say this all with cynicism (but in no way reject the suggestion) because I have been programmed to think that anything good about myself should indeed be squashed, and all my faults should be highlighted, because how else am I supposed to be better, and if I bragged, I will get complacent and somehow lose respect for people and things and become selfish. In fact, apparently, I am all of those things.

I spaced out after that sentence...

Anyway, fighting against my nature here, I am trying. This may not happen everyday (covering myself here).

First one: Got a Tough Mudder event coming up and with the greatest difficulty I made a training plan.

What do you think?

Positive Reinforcement Maybe.

Lost_Girl — Sat, 03 Sep 2016 15:14:00 GMT

Well you have in fact achieved another positive thing today because you made me laugh. For those who read this and don't know, I am *cough*, Carol,*cough* hahaha. Nice one 🙂

Tough Mudder! Wow! I am super impressed. It takes a lot of strength and determination to enter an event like that, not to mention a good fitness level.

Putting together a training plan is a great start. I understand there can be a bit involved in preparation due to the obstacles. Are you doing the 8k or 16k course? Are you happy to share a bit of what your training goals are and your timeline for the training?

I am really excited for you.

You may have noted the bolded words. These are ones you can add to your list along with capable. And then there were 4. Oh look, another achievement for the day.

I can see this working out well for you.

With encouragement,

Your friend, Carol xx

Positive Reinforcement Maybe.

Clues_Of_Blue — Sat, 03 Sep 2016 15:35:31 GMT

It also takes logic and organisation to come up with a plan. And (*cough*) humour (*cough*) to get that giggle out of Carol. Shall we perhaps add the open-mindedness it took to take on board the suggestion of this thread and give it a go? Not to mention the eloquence with which it has been executed. Just sayin'.

Positive Reinforcement Maybe.

Lost_Girl — Sat, 03 Sep 2016 16:40:15 GMT

Yep want Blue said

Positive Reinforcement Maybe.

lookingforme — Sat, 03 Sep 2016 23:16:27 GMT

Ah, I see one thing you come up with 8, hah. Well, It's 3am and I've resigned myself to my commitment, listening to Nike rise and Shine.

Carol, apparently I don't do things in halves so I'll be doing the 16km. My training plan is to this month, get the distance, so running and body weight exercises on alternate days. And once a week, plyometric and swimming in the pool. Next month I will be mixing bodyweight and running and still increasing to 20km distance. Adding a weights session to alternate with the pool workout. And in November, increase weight workout in frequency, especially upper arms, and alternate with the running/body weights, and maybe once a week go back to plyometrics and swimming.

Thanks Carol and Blue, I appreciate it.

Positive Reinforcement Maybe.

lookingforme — Sun, 04 Sep 2016 01:55:47 GMT

Oh, Carol (and now I have the song in my head), I forgot to add that it will all include a cutting diet.

So, got all these negatives but maybe I thought I could use the following as I'm sure that will be the best part of the day:

I was on the last set of my running, and I wanted to give up so badly, so I started running faster, and didn't give up in the end. And I said, (ah, you didn't give up). That's it.

Positive Reinforcement Maybe.

Lost_Girl — Sun, 04 Sep 2016 02:41:56 GMT

Perseverance, Endurance, Foresight, Commitment, Strength of Will

Awesome start to the day. Look at you go girl!

Carol xx

Positive Reinforcement Maybe.

Lost_Girl — Mon, 05 Sep 2016 16:11:41 GMT

Hi,

How did today go lovely? Can you think of any positives?

Me xx

Positive Reinforcement Maybe.

lookingforme — Fri, 09 Sep 2016 05:30:08 GMT

Hey Carol, no positives no...I am going to Sri Lanka tonight, and not even the prospect of sitting with my Nan and listening to her stories while I cuddle the dog is touching me.

Positive Reinforcement Maybe.

james1 — Fri, 09 Sep 2016 05:51:58 GMT

Enjoy Sri Lanka Joelle. Hopefully being away will help improve your mood.

I like having stability in my life so maybe if you try to maintain part of your schedule like waking/sleeping times and the running as well (if possible! otherwise just some other exercise inside).

Don't forget you can always post in one of your threads to get stuff out. Selfishly, I'm always keen to hear how you're feeling to help make sense of own thoughts, but I'm also worried you do what I do and get caught up in your head which is not good!

James

Positive Reinforcement Maybe.

Lost_Girl — Fri, 09 Sep 2016 06:54:10 GMT

Hi Joelle,

James has some great advice. Will you get the chance to go to your favourite spot?

Keep posting lovely, here or your other thread.

We care about you xx

Positive Reinforcement Maybe.

lookingforme — Fri, 09 Sep 2016 06:54:32 GMT

Hey James, thanks. I hope so too.

I wrote in your thread by the way but...you know how it is.

I general do sleep and wake up at the same time, and try to keep up with my schedule. But, I keep crashing. It expends a lot of energy to go to work, because I despise my job, and I am tethered to the money I will earn, which I also hate. I dislike money, but require it to live comfortably or live at all.

I have levels. If it is just thought, I can think and think and think, but will still be able to engage, strictly as a thought experiment though. If the emotion is in my head, I can still engage people and isolate my emotions. If whatever I am feeling is in my body, then no chance of anything except what has taken over my body. Thought, sensibilities go out the window, and I am left feeling. It is this last state that I find myself in a lot over the past few days.

That isn't selfish, I consider it our thread now.