topic How are you coping? in Staying well

How are you coping?

Sawyer — Sun, 30 Aug 2015 11:01:49 GMT

Hi everybody,

Just a quick post to see how everyone is doing? Lifes been pretty hectic for me lately with uni and work, and i've regretted not being online on these forums more. I'm looking forward to being available more once my thesis is submitted, but in the mean time i'm going to do my best to set aside some more time to come onto the forums and be available to anyone who would like to talk through whats going on with you, coping strategies, or advice.

I'm not yet a professional clinician, but I have a degree in psychology, am working towards a clinical masters and I'm willing to help in any way I can. So on that note, how are we all going? lets talk about what's going on for you.

Cheers,

Sawyer

How are you coping?

Spakcat — Mon, 31 Aug 2015 14:00:59 GMT

Hell Sauers. I am going much better than only a few weeks ago. I was so suicidal and I would have actioned my plan but for, as I described it to my CP, I had a tea candle of hope in the full galaxy of light that there may be just a speck of reason for my staying around.

I have found e-learning modules I am working through, have had a lot of physical damage from a horseriding accident at speed which I am healing from. I have been at a Physio as well, to rehab my wrecked knee, and the pointlessness of this has diminished as I have become physically and mentally healthier.

My physiotherapist has enabled me to see I need time off work for my knee and , subsequently, I have had a rest from burying myself in demanding work. I immersed myself in work to exhaust myself and keep from actioning my suicide plan but it had me worn out. My rescue remedy was also a cause for mental fatigue and depression too. All I was good for was work. I didn't feel entitled to any time to relax , let alone demand my boundaries be defined, let alone protected. I am beginning to see differently.

I am learning to reflect on my reactions and choose differently, not react as I usually would to confrontation, conflict in the family etc. I am only a little further ahead but that is still wonderful.

thank you for asking.

How are you coping?

geoff — Mon, 31 Aug 2015 19:10:11 GMT

dear Sawyer, well I thought I needed to reply to your post as no one has at the moment, hopefully this will change.

You must have so much on the table to cope with at the moment, work and uni, getting your thesis completed which I suspect would be to become a qualified psychologist, whow, it's completing something which you have always wanted to be, so well done.

Would I be too pertinent in asking you whether or not you had any personal experience with depression yourself or any family members have suffered from it.

Rather than me talking about myself I am really interested in how you are going. Geoff.

How are you coping?

Guest_9466 — Tue, 01 Sep 2015 20:21:46 GMT

It is lovely that you want to help but, same as Geoff, it would be nice to know if you have any personal experience dealing with depression?

I do realise that everyone has to start somewhere but I rather not be a guineapig.

How are you coping?

Sawyer — Sun, 06 Sep 2015 02:56:38 GMT

Dear Spakcat,

I'm happy to hear your recovery seems to be moving in a positive direction. I hope your physio therapy continues to improve your physical state and you continue to figure out what works for you and what you need moving forward.

Everyone needs time to relax, after all, what are we working for if not to be able to have time away from work? I can't think we are born into this world purely to work for others. However, it seems that this is very much the kind of age we live in at the moment, if you aren't busy all the time, you must not be doing enough.

Thankyou for taking the time to reply to me, I found personally that the lowest point in my life showed me what I needed to be different, and as such is almost solely to thank for where I am now, which is happier and more confident than I ever was before I hit that absolute low. I hope that similarly you continue to turn this negative part of your life, into more positive outcomes for you, not anyone else, but for you personally.

Kind Regards,

Sawyer

How are you coping?

Sawyer — Sun, 06 Sep 2015 03:27:26 GMT

Hi Geoff and Morning,

Thank you for replying to my thread. Yes I have had experience with my own mental health, its part of what drives my approach to psychology. I believe I have already talked about my past experience with depression and anxiety in other threads, in fact Geoff I think you have been part of one of those conversation. Thank you for asking how I am doing, I am stressed, but otherwise pretty good actually.

Let me be clear that i'm not looking for "guinea pigs" or people to practice on. I have a history of my own mental problems, but i'm coping much better now. You may see it differently, but I feel this gives me insight into what I study that goes beyond what the textbooks say as i'm sure your past experience with mental illness may make you skeptical about people who don't have first hand experience. Its hard to understand mental illness until you have lived it. My only goal here, is to be available for anyone who wants to talk about what they are going through, and I will do my best to help them however I can.

I posted this originally, in the hope that it might prompt people who may be on the forums but reading others stories but maybe daunted by the idea of posting, to take that first step whether that is talking about what they are going through for perhaps the first time, or even simply saying "i'm not doing okay". Similarly I would be thrilled with responses of how well people are going, and how these forums are facilitating that. Not everyone is comfortable or confident enough to just post their story on a thread, so I thought I'd start by asking "How are you?" that simple question that people so often forget to.

Kind Regards,

Sawyer

How are you coping?

neleke — Sun, 06 Sep 2015 06:18:04 GMT

hello,

i am not coping to well this week. Had bad news with my car, not safe to drive and will cost alot to fix. We tried for a loan and got rejected, which made me feel real let down, Have to save for repairs now. Got my frustration out on saturday and did some gardening. Just as we feel we are getting on top of things something else happens, does it ever get better. So i am feeling quite low this week.

How are you coping?

Sawyer — Sun, 06 Sep 2015 06:37:35 GMT

Hi Neleke,

I'm sorry about your car, they really can be so expensive to fix and such a massive inconvenience when they are out of action. I know it can seem like the moment you are on top of things something happens to knock you back down again, we all feel this way from time to time, but try to stay focussed on the positives in your life, accept that you can't change what has happened with your car, but you can chose to not let it bother you in the long term.

It is a massive inconvenience, I have had the same thing happen and I know how stressful money can be. It sounds like you know what you have to do, even though its a bad situation. Vent your frustrations by all means, its a perfectly healthy process, just try not to ruminate too much about how it would have better for you had this not happened, you cant change what you can't control. The most important thing is to look after yourself, you will get past this, you can do it.

Best of luck with the car and whatever else you may be dealing with.

Kind Regards,

Sawyer.

How are you coping?

Sparkles183 — Sun, 06 Sep 2015 06:45:08 GMT

Thanks Swayer for asking.

for me I just take one day at a time.

it makes it harder when I try to reach out for help and keep on hitting a brick wall.

I am hoping that my mental health doctor has sent my mental health plan to the psychologist she Referred me to ( it has been a week now and still no word) and I can make an appointment next week.

Thanks for your kindness

sparkles

How are you coping?

Sawyer — Sun, 06 Sep 2015 08:11:37 GMT

Hi Sparkles,

Sometimes all you can do is take it a day at a time and there is nothing wrong with that. I'm glad you are seeking help for what you are going through. But what do you mean by hitting a brick wall?

Hopefully your mental health plan has been put through to the psychologist, but if that is not the case, or you need someone else to talk to I will be here. If you have any questions or want to talk about what you are going through I will do my best to help.

Kind Regards,

Sawyer

How are you coping?

Doolhof — Sun, 06 Sep 2015 09:09:49 GMT

Hi Sawyer,

I think this is a wonderful thread! Thank you so very much for giving people this extra opportunity to have the courage to reach out to someone who is willing to help and assist them.

"How are you?" is a question some people ask not really wanting an honest answer, ort it can be one that we our selves do not answer honestly!

I've been on quite a roller coaster ride of depression his year having been hospitalised twice. Hopefully the new medication I'm now on will work. With the Drs. okay I tried a period of time without medication but became very suicidal which is not a good thing for myself or any one else, so back on the pills I went.

Most days I make a list of the things I need to do and add things I would like to do as well. I tell myself it is okay if I don't manage to do everything on the list, at least I have tried, that is the best I can do.

I had never really understood how a person could be so depressed that they just stayed in bed all day. That was until last week. My husband went away for a holiday without me. That first afternoon when I returned home from work, I burst into tears and went to bed.

My whole week went like that. I ate frozen dinners or chocolate, cried a lot and spent nearly all of my home time in bed. I even slept in my clothes a couple of nights. I had never done that before. Having a shower and brushing my teeth was too difficult. I was so depressed I was unable to call any one for help.

Thankfully this week has been a lot better! I made an appointment to see my Dr and a counsellor. I forced myself to get out of bed and visit my sister and had people over one evening.

I really wondered if I was going to make it through last week or not.

What steps can you suggest people to take when they are feeling that low they feel they can't reach out to anyone for help?

I really appreciate you being there for us all and hope it helps you with your understanding of mental illness!

Cheers to you from Mrs. Dools

How are you coping?

Sparkles183 — Sun, 06 Sep 2015 09:26:09 GMT

Thanks sawyer.

when I said I hit a brick wall I meant that I try to get help and things happen such as my GP not sending through the mental health plan. Although I did like my last psych I ended up moving I ended up only having one session with her which I got a lot out of and she canceled the last session we was meant to have before I moved . And my psych before that was highly inappropriate. And think I may be suffering from some kind of stress disorder from the way I got treated by him. And I think my mental health doctor may think the same as she said she will not change my meds at the moment because it will be to dangerous for me and although I think my meds may not be working she thinks they are the thing that is has affected me the most is what went on with that psych.

So Basically I don't like psychologist and I need to see one so I can get over what happened instead of carrying around with me all the time. And when I rang up last week to the psych my doctor referred me to and she said she had not yet received the referral yet but she was happy to make a appointment with me of cause I am going to avoid making an appointment as I now have trust issues with health professionals.

anyway that's what I meant by hitting a brick wall the only help I have got is through medication and it feels like they don't even work at the moment....

thanks for letting me vent

sparkles

How are you coping?

Sawyer — Sun, 06 Sep 2015 11:24:42 GMT

Hi Doolhof,

Thankyou very much for your kind words.

Sounds like you've had a few up and downs in the past, but it seems like you are doing all the right things. Trying to find the good things out of each day, all the things we are lucky to have and all the things we want to achieve in the future to keep ourselves motivated on our bad days. Medication can be a bit of tough one, it certainly has its place but it works better for some people than others and different individuals require different medications. Personally I hated being on medication, I just felt numb, and unable to feel any of the joys in life that may have helped dragged me out of that depression. There's a lot of research into the positives of anti depressants, but its also been shown that in some people they an increase suicidal tendencies, presumably because of that numbness, as well as other side effects.

I understand the feeling of just not even being able to get out of bed, but its important wherever possible to try to push yourself to at least take care of your basic needs, even if that's all you can manage. What i'd recommend for people struggling with depression or anxiety is quite variable depending on what the causes of these feelings are. But one of the most helpful things can be to try and identify unhelpful thoughts that might be bothering us, that might feel like they are just going round and round in circles in you head. Could include thoughts like "i'm not good enough", "I can't do this", "Why do I even bother". It's not so much about forcing these thoughts, but acknowledging them and letting them go. Once again its hard to suggest anything specific without knowing what is causing/triggering your mood.

You might also try to do something with your hands, like a fine motor task that requires concentration. I found playing piano very helpful for me as it is a distraction that requires my full attention and stops me from ruminating. Or trying to take note of what's around you, listing things that you can see, things you can touch, things you can hear etc. Some of the most simple tasks like just taking time to breathe can be very beneficial.

If you want to talk anymore about how you are going, or you have any questions feel free to ask. I'll do my best. In the meantime I hope you continue to see your counsellor and that this week is a good one, rather than a bad one.

Kind Regards,

Sawyer

How are you coping?

Doolhof — Sun, 06 Sep 2015 22:24:42 GMT

Hi Sparkles,

I know you posted your comment to Sawyer, but I'd just like to make a couple of comments too if I may.

I'm sorry you had an unfortunate time with a previous psychologist, I know it may be hard, but what you need to tell yourself here is that not all psychologists are the same.

Don't give up hope because you had a bad experience previously.

Have you tried using the phone help line here or the webchat. It might be a good idea to vent how you are feeling about psyches with these people before you see the new person.

Can you take a friend along to your next appointment? They don't have to sit in with you the whole time, maybe just for the introductions and until you feel comfortable with the new person.

Regarding the paper work, stuff like that does happen. My Dr. thought he had sent a referral through twice, but it was lost in cyber space somewhere!

You could phone the receptionists at the Drs and also at the psychologist to make sure the paper work has gone through.

I'd also like to encourage you to make the appointment and to attend. It may be very hard to do so considering what you are feeling, but in the end it will be worth it.

I have recently returned to see a mental health care nurse I stopped seeing earlier this year because I didn't think she was helping and I cancelled my appointments.

When entering the building I felt a little like a dog with its tail between my legs, but she certainly didn't make me feel that way.

So I hope that things go well for you. Changing meds can be a little messy, so hopefully the Dr can sort all of that out for you.

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

How are you coping?

Sparkles183 — Mon, 07 Sep 2015 07:28:06 GMT

Thanks mrs Dools.

i have no choice of seeing a psych as I went to See centrelink to day about my disability plan I have with them and when they asked me what is my next step in my plan did I want to seek work or more education i told them I want to focus on my mental health plan so I can be in the right state of mind to go out and work. So I had to sign as a part of my participation agreement I will see a psych 10 times before the end of the year.

And I called both the nurse at the doctors office and the psycoligest to day and the nurse at the doctors office said she is going to sort it out the health plan is written up for me but she is not sure if the doctor sent it off as the doctor is not in.

So yeh it is all go ahead from here I do know that all psychs are not the same as I did see another psych for one session after him and she was amazing. It is just with the investigation going to the next step it made me feel worse and I need to let myself know it is not my fault that abuse of power was used against me and I need to learn to trust myself again to disclose that kind of stuff to another person.

thanks for listening

sparkles

How are you coping?

Spakcat — Mon, 07 Sep 2015 12:11:56 GMT

Hello Sawyer. It is about a week on from my initial post and I have read a few of the posts on this thread. It is kind of you to share a little of your personal situation so I feel a little more at ease with the communication too, thanks.

Since I wrote, I have had a huge upheaval in my home with son 3 contriving to start an argument with my mum, who lives with us and has been his second mum. It ended in him storming out and getting his older, married brother to pick him up. It is to be assumed that he is claiming a student benefit and living there now but he has not confirmed this at all. As a commerce uni student, his behaviour is quite out of character, confrontational, arrogant and left me totally bewildered. I couldn't even get a word in on the night of the ruckus. I had just purchased a new laptop for the family too as the previous one had expired and he needed one as well for uni. I was left gob smacked at the outcome of my gesture and the whole family .

I did not dwell on the situation though, fortunately my mum did not melt down too badly to make me feel guilty for all the past sacrifice she made to look after 3 boys while worked 3 jobs to privately educate them and keep the family home with no support at all from their father.

I am learning to put me first, learning to do it deliberately like exercising to strengthen my muscles supporting my knee with a torn ACL and Lateral ligament. Both physical and mental exercises are being drilled into my mind and body in the hope they strengthen in a similar way. I'd like to develop healthier habits and assertively maintain boundaries.

Thank you for stating that relaxation time is valued as I don't practice any . Even my outlet, horseriding is done with a deadline but this is changing and I am enjoying it quietly now without rushing.

Mentally I have handled my personal issues better, I feel, than before and definitely I have been in a better mood. More even . I have continued to diarise my mood and follow trends with My Compass.

I'd not be able to achieve this if I had been at the coal face of my work I don't think. It is all consuming being a senior theatre nurse, in charge of others, the resource person who always knows, comes through with the answers and fixes the deficits.

To think I was so sure I'd commit suicide only 2 calendar months ago, thought of nothing else for weeks, at least another 4 is amazing , scary and yet real.

Karen

How are you coping?

Sawyer — Mon, 07 Sep 2015 16:15:55 GMT

Hi Sparkles,

My apologies for taking so long to reply to your post. I have been quite under the weather lately and have found it hard to concentrate long enough to find the words to express myself. I'm sorry to hear about your previous experience with Psychologists, unfortunately no profession is exempt from people who are comfortable exploiting others, I do not know the details of your situation, but just try to remind yourself that this psychologist is an exemption, rather than the rule. Most psychologists really do want to help, that's why we get into the profession, even if sometimes it works better than others. People are complex. And as you have said, the psych you saw for one session was a positive experience for you and that's great.

It's important to avoid thinking in black and white, where people are either good or bad, either is naive, when most of us (people and psychologists) are varying shades of grey. But it sounds like you understand this and have a very rational outlook in regards to your situation. It is natural for you to be apprehensive opening up to someone new, sharing ourselves with others is daunting at the best of times and you have the added weight of previous negative experiences. You should not let that you feel this way stress you, it is normal, just discuss with your practitioner why you feel this way, your past experiences, so that they can better understand what you as their patient need from them.

I hope you continue to get to a place where you trust yourself again, and trust your practitioner. I truly hope your experience with your new psychologist is a positive one, even if it is a requirement of your support, try to see it as an opportunity to move forward, to get back to feeling well, rather than a hurdle you need to pass. If you find yourself getting anxious, stressed or down, in regards to your previous experiences, try to focus on something else rather than forcing it out of your mind. Get coffee with a friend, exercise, whatever works for you. You could also try to imagine your emotions as a physical object, shape, texture, size etc, describe them, acknowledge them and then set them aside.

I hope this finds you well,

Stay positive,

Sawyer

How are you coping?

Guest_9466 — Mon, 07 Sep 2015 19:57:49 GMT

Dear Sawyer

Thank you for taking the time to share your challenge with mental health.

I am coping as well as I can at the moment, given that I am feeling kind of tired of travelling. I have been travelling with hubby in Europe for the past three months. Less than four weeks to go before we head home to Oz. Yippeee!

The first two months, I managed well, even though we were constantly on the move. However, it went downhill rather rapidly, especially during our trip to Scotland with our daughter. I suppose, by then, I was tired of living out of a suitcase, eating indifferent meals, sleeping in strange beds, ect., whereas, our daughter who joined us was really looking forward to her two weeks break from a stressful job.

I behaved rather badly, overwhelmed as I was with 'stinky' thoughts such as 'poor me', they don't love me, care about me, I am such a burden to them and to society, ect and so it goes on and on.

The last few days have been less tumultuous. This is because a kind and generous friend has loaned her home to me whilst she is travelling. Instead of three adults sharing a room, we have the whole house to ourselves, just two of us as daughter is now happily ensconed in her own apartment. At times, I have been rather tempted to stay put but has forced myself to go out sight seeing. I am trying to relearn to count my blessings. There is a lot to be thankful for. I am also putting into practice earnestly, taking it one day at a time. Sometimes, I can only make it one hour at a time.

Tomorrow, we are heading to Budapest. Something to be excited about right? Given half a choice, I would rather stay put in London. So, how am I coping? Much better than last week but still feeling a bit intimidated by this trip. Btw, I am a veteran traveller, usually travel solo and independently, meaning I don't do tours. I planned every details of the trip and booked accommodation, fares, ect online.

How are you coping?

Doolhof — Mon, 07 Sep 2015 22:11:47 GMT

Hi Sawyer,

Thanks once again for offering up your time and care. Thanks for your positive encouragement. I hope you manage to complete your study and are able to go on to assist a lot of people.

While doing so, make sure you look after yourself as well. I am sure that during your training you are given ideas on how to off load the information you will be receiving from your clients. If not, then I hope you start thinking of strategies now!

I feel that if I was able to be off medication for 6 months in a supportive, caring and less stressful situation then I would make a full recovery. But in the real world I am the one working for us both, looking after the house and the garden so don't have a lot of time and energy left for myself.

I do know there are a lot of things I can do for myself, but like you mentioned, some medication just drains you! Unfortunately I really didn't cope well with out it! I was like a bear with a sore tooth! Ha. Ha.

Being able to share here on this forum and also to be able to try to offer help and encouragement to others has been of great benefit to me.

Wishing you every success in your chosen field. Reading any of the posts here will certainly give you an indication of how differently mental health issues can effect people!

For me personally, I would love to be free of medication but I would need to be in a safe place coming off them and then would need time to readjust. After my last hospital stay my Dr. had talked about placing me in a psych ward for help, but for some reason that didn't happen.

I then had my boss phone to tell me that if I took anymore time off work my job was in jeopardy. She also said that if I decided I needed to go to hospital again I had to give them notice first. Either way this would not be tolerated and I could start looking else where for work. I ended up in hospital because my husband dragged me off to the Dr and he placed me straight in the hospital.

I wonder if her reaction would have been the same if I told her I had cancer or if my appendix had burst! Mental health issues are still not recognised by many people as being a legitimate illness!

Anyway, the sun is shining and I am going to have a lovely day!

Cheers from Mrs. Dools

How are you coping?

Sparkles183 — Tue, 08 Sep 2015 14:46:33 GMT

Thanks Swayer for your response

it has been really healthful I hope you are feeling better and finding time to rest and keep your mental wellbeing in check as well.

so the good news my new psych rang me up yesterday and she seems relay nice and I have an appointment on Friday.

I do agree that most psychs are in the profession to help people but what they need to realise that when people come to see them they are very valuable so the psychs really needs to be careful.

I don't know if you have heard the saying that the human tongue is the most powerful weapon in the world it has killed more people then all the wars in history put together and that's where psychs has to be careful as one simple word can make a difference in peoples life I believe that my previous psych had very good intensions well as

he once mentioned to me he had to many clients and he was burnt out.

In my opinion when that happens that the patients are affected because it shows in the behaviour of the psych. So I advise anyone that is thinking about getting into the profession to make sure you don't take on to many clients where you do get burnt and make sure you schedule time in for yourself to rest and to have some alone time so u can unwind.

over the last few days I been searching the internet and found other woman who went through something similar to what I went through and it made me think I am glad that I stopped seeing that psych when I did as for these woman they did not know when to say stop with the psychologist and it got physical I am glad my situation was only verbal misconduct. Anyway if you want to read up on what happened during them sessions you can read it in my thread on this forum regretting ever seeking help. The post where I told people why I was feeling the way I was about psych is on the last page and it is dated the 23rd of November last year.

thanks for listening, and good luck with your masters I am sure you will make a good psychologist

take care and remember to look after yourself

sparkles