topic Following your gut to find happiness in Staying well

Following your gut to find happiness

sadgirl57 — Mon, 19 Oct 2015 11:32:56 GMT

So this is more a question in terms of staying well rather than tips because I personally find my depression is due to trying to find not an easy path but a path that gets me to at least coping and surviving than following my gut. taking risks and doing things that'll make me genuinely happy and finding my purpose so my question is has anyone used spirituality to get in touch with their intuition, meditation etc to find what they really wanted and go for things that may have not feel like they made sense at the time that turned out to be great?

Sorry if this thread isn't fit for here but I just... there's a lifestyle I want to live and things I want to do but I feel so stuck in my current rat-race lifestyle and part of me feels like I should try fit in with the norm and it be against everything I'm about and make the most of it or completely go against the grain and do the best that I can, maybe not be rich but be happy. I don't know. I don't know. I need to find some guidance within myself and want to know if meditation not just helped with the calm but real, life-changing experience.
I hope someone can help, no pressure though.

Following your gut to find happiness

Jacko777 — Wed, 21 Oct 2015 00:17:32 GMT

Hi sadgirl57,

I am glad you asked! I have seen many doctors and counsellors and I have also been on a spiritual journey that has been highly enlightening. I went through a phase years ago of practicing meditation every day, some times for hours and it has brought me much calmness and happiness. It really changed my complete outlook on life and I feel like I can now respond form my heart/spirit to the challenges of life rather than react out of emotion. I have come much closer to being able to give unconditional love without expectation of anything in return. I have become aware of energy flows between my self and others and by monitoring this I can control my responses.

Being happy and calm IS being rich. Be rich in love and care, don't ever deny the value of the passion in your heart, let it become one with your mind and let it flow out, don't ever be ashamed or embarrassed, what you think of your self is important, what others think of you is a reflection of their relationship with their self. We can't know what other people are thinking so we can't really tell if being rich makes one happy anyway, we can find happiness whether we are financially rich or broke. I believe that if you respond to life with love in your heart then you cannot go wrong, every negative becomes a positive to a soul that is up for growth, nothing is negative because we take challenges on board and learn and grow to become better people.

Being true to my self is what gives me the energy and love to spend my time trying to help others, I get on these forums and I am a public speaker for Beyond Blue, I don't even get nervous in front of 200 people because I am there to help and to give love, what they give back to me is not important, only what I can give to them.

There are thousands of books on the subject of spirituality and you could start reading, i have read probably hundreds and every book has something of value. I could talk about spirituality for days! So talk here any time, i am so glad I saw your post!

Jack x

Following your gut to find happiness

sadgirl57 — Wed, 21 Oct 2015 06:47:31 GMT

Hi Jack,

I'm glad you saw my post too! I feel like we could talk for hours about this subject. I'm so curious about it and always read about it but it hasn't become apart of my daily routine yet because I really, really suck at focusing and I fall asleep. I find meditation so difficult and even found myself wanting to remove myself from a group meditation session because I couldn't keep still and relax. When I do it at home, sleep time. I feel so blocked on so many different levels of life and am finding it really overwhelming trying to get into a new schedule and fit in all these things I want to fit in. I have some big, life changing decisions I need to make and I don't want to just think with my head, I want to feel the right answer come from my gut - I want to lead a life with my intuition because I know it's good at what it does, I forget to listen to it and have been burned countless times for not listening to it. I'm really in a rut right now where I don't feel I've really been myself for a very, very long time because of bullying at school and just shut the real me away and now that I want to be that person again I'm terrified, feeling like none of my friends and family really know me and I feel like I need to find somewhere I belong because my day to day life, friends, everything just feels wrong. I don't know if that would make sense to you at all. A lot of people didn't and don't like me because of my full on/out there personality and I don't know who I can be myself around and find myself being my own best friend because no one else can handle me or likes me. Every time I feel I've found someone I can be me around I let it out and they're put off and I find myself being shut away again. I feel meditation might lead me to a place I belong.

Thanks, Cassie xo.

Following your gut to find happiness

Jacko777 — Wed, 21 Oct 2015 09:32:24 GMT

Thanks for your reply Cassie.

Yes you make sense and I am sure many would relate to what you are saying. I went through a phase of falling asleep in meditation, don't worry about it, whatever happens is a part of your journey, embrace where you are at and keep plodding away I reckon. The practice of meditation is just that, a practice, few perfect it and that is not the purpose I believe. Any meditation will bring positive results, whether you fall asleep or have a busy mind. I used to set an alarm in case I fell asleep, some of my best meditations have been on the edge of sleep and it takes practice to stay focused. You could try putting some music on, or try a guided meditation on Youtube, something to focus on, some people meditate on a visual object, like a candle or such. Maybe you could try mixing it up, try a fresh approach.

I started my journey of recovery with psychology and came to spirituality later. I could not have come to spirituality without first clearing some 'blockages' in my mind first, I had old programs running that had been left to fester and without help I may have never become aware of them. With my mind largely at ease I could focus on discovering my true self.

I think that if you can stay on your path to be true to your self you won't lose many if any friends. You will be happier and people will like to see you like that. Do you think your 'full on personality' is your true passionate self? You can treat life like a meditation too, every moment we can practice being true to ourselves, dropping any emotion of the mind and being aware of how we give and take energy. I hope that if you continue to be true to your self you will come to meet more like minded people. I am always curious about spirituality too, if I have a spirit then it is within me and I should be able to access it, I should know about it. Would you lie to talk about the life changing decisions you need to make?

Jack xo

Following your gut to find happiness

sadgirl57 — Fri, 23 Oct 2015 05:42:47 GMT

Most of the time I do meditation at home anyway when I have lots of free time. I'm not bothered by falling asleep, I guess I was under the impression it wouldn't be working if I fell asleep.

Maybe that's why I find meditation so difficult. I recently gave up certain illicit things and have been practicing a more open mindset and I'm seeing positive effects so far which is good. At first I was horribly cranky and not sleeping, I'm still not sleeping so well but I got my dreams back and I feel more balanced.

I feel like what's blocking me from being myself is the idea that I have to be one certain person all the time but I'm such a chameleon. I guess everyone is like that at times. And yes to the personality thing, I was listening to a spiritual podcast the other day and it was saying some people are overly sensitive and empathic and that's so me. I'm coming across articles and stuff that are making me feel like I'm not as different as I feel.

I hope I meet at least one person soon that's more like me so I don't have to feel so alone in this world.

Yeah, so pretty much my Dad is a pretty crap human and I'm working on healing myself from a traumatic childhood and he's been trying to contact me because he might die soon from medical issues and I don't know if I should try reconcile or salvage what's left of a normal father/daughter relationship or what. He makes me feel uncomfortable and I don't feel like I even know the guy (I did grow up with him and always lived with him and everything but stopped contact a year or so ago), really the only reason I would contact him is for his own benefit so he didn't feel like a piece of crap before he goes.

And relationship as well. I'm having trouble with it, it's just because it's so easy for me to just pack up and leave people instead of working on relationships because I'm okay with being alone. He's so good for me in so many ways and then so crap in other ways and I'm confused. No one else would be able to cope with my mental health like he has. Sometimes I feel like we're not really in love and we're just a team giving each other support and company. And in a lot of ways holding each other back. I never know what to do.

Following your gut to find happiness

Jacko777 — Fri, 23 Oct 2015 11:07:10 GMT

Thanks SG, I am humbled that you would share your deepest concerns. And I think you can take some steps to improve these situations, perhaps you could even consider some counselling support, it's really helped me when trying to get my head around relationship issues.

You have certainly made some great positive changes and you are taking steps to have a greater awareness of your self. So well done! Life is a journey and we have the choice to enjoy the journey or not, it takes practice...lots of practice. I completely relate to your feelings of sensitivity and empathy, I suppose it is about finding a balance in life, embrace your true self and partake in a life you choose, giving gratitude for what you have and taking satisfaction from the challenges you face. I have to ensure that I am being 100% truthful about my self, denying or ignoring a negative part of my self would defeat the purpose.

My message to self when it comes to meditation...just do it. It doesn't really matter how it goes, all that matters is that I have a go, it's time spent training my mind to focus which I can then use to focus on the positive instead of the negative. Removing negative thinking from my life takes practice and brings me so much calmness, being thankful for everything in my life right down to the breath brings me much happiness and satisfaction. When it comes to spiritual journeys I believe that when you get in the saddle the path will reveal itself, keep an eye out for that!

I'm not sure about your dad SG. I don't want you to regret not seeing him if he passes. He may have been a crap human, but you're not. You might be able to find the strength to contact him and you both might benefit, you possibly might not get this opportunity again. It helps me to be clear about what choices I have and be aware of the choice I am making, then if I have niggling thoughts I can pull my self up and remind my self that I have made the right choice, i'm sticking with it and I don't need to think about it any more. (Practice!)

..........

Following your gut to find happiness

Jacko777 — Fri, 23 Oct 2015 11:08:17 GMT

Perhaps you could write down the positives and negatives in your relationship, see how they weigh up. As you know, relationships take work and with the right actions you could re inject some love and intimacy, reduce the supportive roles. However the negative issues you have mentioned could be challenging and here I go again...a relationships counsellor could really help you there! Most of us would relate to not knowing what to do, so we get help, get informed and supported and make some choices, take small steps to achieve our goals.You are doing great mate. Jack x

Following your gut to find happiness

sadgirl57 — Fri, 23 Oct 2015 23:18:13 GMT

Haha, no unfortunately there's no chance of relationship counselor or anything like that. I don't think it's worth thinking too much about. My boyfriend on the other hand maybe.

Following your gut to find happiness

Just Sara — Sat, 24 Oct 2015 06:44:51 GMT

Hi Sadgirl and Jacko; I'm wondering if it's ok to join in. I did the spiritual journey first and then psychology. Some people confuse spirituality with new age subjects. For me it bought something new and exciting and it took me into groups of people who were concentrating on psychic ability and visual meditations.

However, people who are emotionally charged and empathic by nature, like me, can get 'attached' to others and the outcome is carrying around what doesn't belong to you. Learning to detach from issues, not people, is the key. The whole energy system does exist, but it's the invisible world. Take it from me, this realm is a reflection of how we live our lives in the physical. That's all!

I must stress, our brains have evolved to interpret the physical world. Since the introduction of new age thinking, we have challenged our minds to deal with interpreting dreams, ghostly apparitions and the like. Our minds aren't built to comprehend these phenomenon, so it uses the rules for the physical. If you concentrate on something long and hard enough, the brain will think it's 'reality' especially if it's in pictures. Our mental health is paramount to everything we do, feel, think and say. We need it to survive. That's why grounding is so important. I know first hand that accessing the future and past is possible. But as I've stated, the brain doesn't know the difference and will think it's 'now'. Therefore we continue to recreate our pasts over and over. And; getting into the heads of others can cause problems if you consider the above. If we 'picture' what others are feeling or thinking, our brain may interpret this as 'us'.

I have no doubt this is a key to mental health issues. That's why it's so important for us to only deal with our own stuff. Spirituality is about knowing and creating the self with positive thoughts and especially boundaries. Our culture is filled with advertisements meant to invade our psyche to encourage spending and a complex lifestyle. The KISS theory is so important for those of us who are energy sensitive. We only need food, water, shelter and clothing to live. Yet we've bought into the illusion that 'things' depict our value. Our minds are trying to evolve to deal with the onslaught of material thinking and the invisible realm.

The issue of energy is real and I could talk about it for ages. Live your life today, tomorrow will take care of itself with each decision, action and thought. Cheers..Dizzy x

Following your gut to find happiness

sadgirl57 — Sat, 31 Oct 2015 23:08:58 GMT

Hi guys,

I'm hoping you can help me with a spiritual/ lifestyle matter. I'm trying to have like a lifestyle overhaul right now and I don't know if you've ever felt like you weren't in the right place or around the right people, there's nothing particularly wrong with the people in my life but I just feel like I don't connect with them and I've just read an article on 'warning signs the universe gives you when you're on the wrong path' and I basically ticked all the boxes and have had a gut feeling I'm not in the right place so my question is how do I know the difference between a brash decision or intuition?

Following your gut to find happiness

Jacko777 — Mon, 02 Nov 2015 04:08:48 GMT

Hi Cassie & Dizzy,

Fantastic words Dizzy, I need to read it a few more times.

Cassie, my thoughts are that a brash decision would come from the mind, intuition would come from the heart, as a gut feeling as you describe. I believe that where I am is where I am meant to be, to learn a lesson, to take a challenge as an opportunity to grow. So perhaps you can overhaul your lifestyle and perhaps you don't need to strongly connect to the people currently in your life, that doesn't mean you give them less love, just that you find others that you connect with on different levels. These are just my thoughts of course, doesn't mean I'm right!

Having said all that, you have these feelings and you have had signs that you are on 'the wrong path'. So I'm not sure what this means for you. Are you thinking it is a brash decision to go on a spiritual journey?

Jack x

Following your gut to find happiness

sadgirl57 — Wed, 11 Nov 2015 07:19:40 GMT

Lately my gut instinct has been working a little better, not with bigger decisions though - that could be the anxiety messing with it. I've had some big things happen recently; my boyfriend left me, I've had to leave the house and stay at friends house so I'm really not in my comfort zone, having somewhere to retreat to and be alone, my health feels like its deteriorating a bit because I'm not at my own home, trying to save for a bond so I can move in somewhere, I've been having 5 hour broken sleeps and my work performance has gone downhill and my counselling appointment is still two weeks away. I kept pretty strong and optimistic for a while there and not depressed at all but now that I'm exhausted, feeling like a burden and confused about my next step and feeling overwhelmed by it all it got me pretty down. Yesterday I was so anxious that I couldn't stop it even trying to talk my self out of it and deep breaths and all that, I had been anxious pretty badly on and off since then and then the depression just got me. I can't even escape from my situation. I feel really alone. I think I'll call my Mum when I get home and see what she says. I better stop because I'm on the train and I don't want to start crying.

Cas

Following your gut to find happiness

Jacko777 — Wed, 11 Nov 2015 11:01:45 GMT

Stay strong Cas, have hope because you will find the solutions you seek over the coming weeks, know that you will work this out. Has anything helped you with these anxious moments in the past? Persist with the breathing exercises, nice and slow, not too deep. What other things can you divert your attention to? Listen to music? Meditate?

Don't hesitate to ring the BB phone service if you are struggling, that's what they are there for and they will help you to feel better straight away I am sure. I hope you will use this service if anxiety is getting the better of you.

I'm sorry to hear that your boyfriend left you Cassie, I know how challenging it can be when you are out of your comfort zone. You could look at it as an opportunity, to practice a new way of responding to being out of your comfort zone, take a fresh positive view on your situation, it is a challenge for you to find and practice calmness, no matter what happens. Perhaps it won't feel easy to start but the more you practice the more it will become natural. Remember, you are on a journey of recovery, give your self thanks and take satisfaction from knowing that you are taking steps in the right direction, even if you don't feel great now, remember that you are heading away from this, things will improve, soon you will find more happiness and calmness. Hang in there Cassie, big hugs and much love from the cosmos to you. xx

Jack

Following your gut to find happiness

sadgirl57 — Fri, 13 Nov 2015 04:48:15 GMT

Hi Jack,

Thanks for the support. Music definitely is a winner for soothing the anxiety, I need to get some headphones. I finally broke the other day after trying to stay really strong and keep positive even when it was draining all my energy putting the effort in. I went to the doctor and got medication and stuff to help me sleep so I felt nauseous and stuff today but my brain kind of feels like it's working better I guess. It'll be a wait though to see a real difference, I know. I'm trying to figure out my next move though - I don't want to completely lose my job but I want to cut back enough hours so I could get on Centrelink again and go to an employment service that specialises with disability. I'm trying to think of a few options that'll allow me to cut back but not leave me with no money. I feel like I'm supposed to be more patient and this is like a lesson for me but at the same time I'm worried about missing an opportunity.

Following your gut to find happiness

Just Sara — Fri, 13 Nov 2015 09:34:04 GMT

Hi Sadgirl...You seem to be in the thick of it! Hang in there. Medication has it's place. Being sleep deprived causes more problems than it's worth and doesn't do anything to help you heal or cope.

I know this might sound odd, but learning about brain chemistry has it's perks. Try having your evening meal around 6pm. Only have protein; (meat) no carbs or fat. Around 9 or 10pm, eat a whole oven roasted potato - skin on. No fat or oil; just dry. Then go to bed about 1/2 hr later. Protein prepares the digestive process for the slow working carb content of the potato. It sends a signal to the brain from the pancreas which releases great relaxation chemicals into the receptors. But don't bulk up on simple carbs or fatty foods during the day as this will inhibit slow absorption and sleeping throughout the night. Obviously you can't eat like this every night unless you have a balanced diet during the day. Lots of fresh produce; limit sugars, (including flour) caffeine and animal fats.

The connection between the brain and the gut is fascinating. There has even been studies that link bacteria in the lining of the gut and autism. Our diets are a key indicator when assessing our ability to cope with stress and its responses. Look at the foods/beverages in your diet, especially stimulants.

Sleep is so important to those of us experiencing mood and personality disorders. We don't expect our bodies to run a marathon for days at a time, why should we expect to function with a brain that never sleeps?

Hope this helps...Dizzy x

Following your gut to find happiness

sadgirl57 — Wed, 25 Nov 2015 19:06:39 GMT

Hi Dizzy,

i actually have read up on that, it is fascinating. I'm actually vegetarian turned vegan just recently. I need to sort my diet out ASAP so I don't lose too much energy, that's probably what's happening. I've just moved house so we don't have a fridge yet so having my usual diet has been hard. I was already vegan at home anyway but cooking has become a lot harder. I've been so exhausted lately. I think it could be the medication, definitely my poor diet from eating out, but a lotto do with my frame of mind - my anxiety has gone up a lot. I have a history of up and leaving jobs after 6/8 months because I find the work/life balance impossible because all I do is stress about money then when I do go out with my friends I don't appreciate it and all I can think is 'was that really worth the money I just spent?' Then on top of figuring out what to do with the rest of my life I'm just left with no energy or sanity. As soon as I got home yesterday, after my shower I just went to sleep, I woke up when my Mum got home and felt guilty about not going out to say hello but I was just so tired. I'm only doing 5 hour days and just had to cut back from 5 to 4 because of stress but now I have more time I'm actually more stressed because I have less money. It takes me about an hour and a half each way to get to and from work, sometimes 2, that isn't helping. If I want things to get better though I'm going to have to figure out a solution.

Hope you guys are good, love Cas.