topic Being withdrawn to achieving confidence in Staying well

Being withdrawn to achieving confidence

white knight — Mon, 14 Mar 2016 06:27:42 GMT

I find it amusing, of all the people I’ve met that have had a diagnosed mental illness, none have in my opinion been arrogant. Why would this be? Could there be a common factor among the emotionally unstable that does not allow them to be seen or act in an arrogant way? I think so.

In a sliding scale it could be assumed we are within the scope of withdrawn and confident. Confidence is when we have sufficient knowledge on topics and can convey that knowledge to other people. An “air” of confidence results. We can rely on our own abilities and opinions then we are confident within ourselves.

Arrogance is when one has knowledge of topics but believes other people have less knowledge and portrays grandeur.

We all know what withdrawn means and it doesn't sound positive. However seeking withdrawal could be voluntary as a means for example of finding safety. Some of us are comfortable with our own company or limited in the numbers of people in contact and the quality of people we associate with. On-line forums such as this one offers anonymousity which can be wonderful for the withdrawn because one can regulate ones input from zero to regular.

So most of us should have a goal. To become confident within ourselves enough so that we possess knowledge of our illnesses, emotions and restrictions to the point whereby we know all facets of our condition. That alone would give us awareness enough to continue on with life better than it has. It would mean we are improving, advancing and in many ways we are conquering our fears brought about from doubt, lack of information and knowledge.

Once confident we can then pass onto others our store of information. There is one proviso- that we don’t emit an air of grandeur or we would have slid onto into the arrogant category. People don’t like arrogance so that would work against us. Learning, for many new members is right here within the pages of this forum. Each night you could choose two threads, read, learn and digest them to add to your knowledge, for knowledge obtained about yourself and why you are like you are is one of the best tools for recovery. Remember, recovery is not likely 100% but a level of happiness, contentment, as much stability you are capable of achieving and a minimum of social communication.

Research, listening to others mixed with professional guidance can be a potent mix to point you in the right direction to becoming confident.

Confidence through knowledge is good.

Tony WK

Being withdrawn to achieving confidence

V17 — Thu, 10 Nov 2016 07:43:52 GMT

Hi Tony,

I've just read your post in Staying Well: Living a worthwhile life. The two posts you have suggested on there (Living a worthwhile life) - I've read them too; this particular thread resonates with me.
Having a mental illness has taught me to be humble. Humility, I think, is something a lot of us share on here. We don't seem to place a high regard on self importance. Humility is a strength - the exact opposite to arrogance.

It's been my experience that having too much pride has exacerbated my situation. The thought that I can do this on my own.. I can't [do it on my own]. I have placed too much emphasis on being self confident and I guess having read the definition of confidence - the feeling or belief that one can have faith in or rely on someone or something; I begin to see the validity that being humble conveys.

Having said that though, I think there is also I fine line between self reliance - I love that so many of your posts encourage this, and relying on others to get us through. It's vital that we ask ourselves to distinguish between the two on any given day'.

Overcoming pride has/is being my greatest challenge. I have to re-train myself. I'd welcome any thoughts on how you and others have done this.

V.

Being withdrawn to achieving confidence

white knight — Thu, 10 Nov 2016 11:10:38 GMT

Hi V,

Here is a list of some threads that could help you on your request (google)

Topic: is there room for stubbornness?- beyondblue

Topic: nip it in the bud ideas- beyondblue

Topic: your attitude is not a mental illness- beyondblue

Topic: confidence,how do you get it?- beyondblue

Topic: who cries over spilt milk?- beyondblue

Topic: when emotions take over logic- beyondblue

Topic: anger, can you own it?- beyondblue

Topic: low self esteem- beyondblue

Topic: supermarket shelves- beyondblue

Topic: so what are their mental illnesses?- beyondblue

It is important, that to achieve more confidence, to be decisive in your decisions. Take the thread "supermarket shelves". That was written after decades of being told by a couple of family members " Tony, have some patience". I eventually asked them "what shelf in the supermarket can you find patience"My decision to oppose their complaint based on the logic that my impatience is part of me (part of my mania?) And that telling me to be someone I'm not required a defense.That is the sort of deep thinking I've employed that has led to more confidence.

Tony WK

Being withdrawn to achieving confidence

V17 — Mon, 14 Nov 2016 13:48:25 GMT

Hey again Tony,

Topic: is there room for stubbornness?- beyondblue

I googled this suggested post but nothing is showing up? I tried the search in BB Forum too but only references to the post are listed??

Unsure what to do?

V.