topic How do we get past the stigma?? in Staying well

How do we get past the stigma??

ci — Tue, 08 Mar 2016 03:42:55 GMT

I have grown up around mental health issues, have had and still having my own battles as well.

After a recent incident sadly one family member negatively discussing about another who sufferers with mental health I am left feeling utterly disappointed in people's lack of compassion and understanding. Please don't get me wrong there are people out there that do understand

I am currently studying community service and passionately want to aim my skills at mental heath. I'm writing this thread to ask the question how do we remove the stigma how do you think we can educate people to understand that like any other health issue mental health is real and not a personality quirk!

It's so easy to have compassion for someone physically unwell but we find it hard to understand that our brains can have problems to. Even though it's the most complex part of our body.

I want to help change this!

How do we get past the stigma??

white knight — Tue, 08 Mar 2016 06:02:46 GMT

Hi I,

I have a few articles that might help in your endeavors. Just google them as they are written between the inverted commas.

"Topic: they just wont understand, why?- beyondblue"

"Topic: accepting yourself, the frog and the scorpion- beyondblue"

"Topic: rejection, its hard to swallow- beyondblue"

"Topic: Bullying- beyondblue"

"Topic: Why social media is no good for you- beyondblue"

"Topic: your attitude is not a mental illness- beyondblue"

"Topic: words are sticks and stones- beyondblue"

"Topic: defending yourself, don't be an easy target- beyondblue"

lots of reading. Hope they help.

Tony WK

How do we get past the stigma??

geoff — Tue, 08 Mar 2016 22:04:41 GMT

dear Ci, it's a very good question you ask, and I'm sure it has been something which has troubled many people on how to answer it.
I don't know what I say is going to answer your query, as I'm sure anyone can offer their own suggestion, which you may agree with or disagree.
Well mental illness has been going on for centuries and has been classified as taboo, people were sent to asylums, put into straight jackets and the key thrown away, even people with epilepsy were also included as being insane, so the stigma has stuck, only because people don't understand what the word depression actually means, so those that haven't had it are told to 'snap out of it' because life goes on as they say.
People aren't interested in listening to someone with depression talk about their troubles, because it's 'too boring, and besides I have other things to do', whereas they may listen to someone who has cancer, why, well they have seen many people suffer from cancer, but perhaps not from depression, because people hide their troubles, so they aren't given the full picture of what this illness does to us.
Perhaps by saying to people and asking them a question 'do you get sad sometimes, then depression is a long extension of being sad for a long long time, which stops us from wanting to do anything and makes us very tired. Geoff.

How do we get past the stigma??

ci — Wed, 09 Mar 2016 00:18:36 GMT

White knight and Geoff thank-you for your replies

I feel so strongly that things can be changed as you said we many years ago would have been locked away. Along with other illnesses and disabilities so things have changed for the better but so much more needs to change.

When even your own family members can attack you for being mentally unwell you can see that there is still a long way to go.

Depression anxiety mood disorders ect needs to be seen as a health issue not a personality issue.

Maybe in schools is the way to slowly educate the next generation. Seems to be the way these days very different issue but environmental issues recycling and stuff are tought to our children in school maybe we could find a way to teach them about mental health?

How do we get past the stigma??

Gruffudd — Sat, 28 May 2016 10:49:53 GMT

Hi there ci,

Thankyou for talking about this because I think it is a big part of what we need to be doing. My grandfather taught me that ignorance feeds on silence when telling me about history. So when you talk about stigma and these beliefs about mental health that are clearly untrue if you or a loved one has experience of it, well I think on that. If enough of us talk from our own experiences and break the silence we can change the world on this issue. Beyond Blue runs a speakers bureau - the people who tell their stories are doing something powerful that makes life better for all of us (makes them heroes in a way). It is much harder to remain narrow minded about something when confronted with a personal story or the experience of a loved one.

Rob.

How do we get past the stigma??

ci — Sun, 29 May 2016 01:59:48 GMT

Hi rob thanks for your post and you are so right the more people that speak up about there experiences will make a huge difference towards people understanding mental health.

I am really passionate about this I have children and would love to know that if they go through a tough time people are more educated and understanding. I don't see any difference with someone having diabetes for example as a physical illness to someone suffering with mental health our brains are so complex more than any other organ yet people find it hard to understand medically you can have a problem.

What is the speakers bureau that beyond blue does? I haven't heard of it and would love to know about it?

How do we get past the stigma??

Doolhof — Sun, 29 May 2016 02:20:19 GMT

Hi Ci and Everyone,

Thanks for sharing this topic with us Ci. You have already received some great feedback.

Regarding family members and understanding depression, it is difficult when family do not understand or recognise depression or other mental health issues.

I have depression and other mental health concerns. My Father in law has depression and severe anxiety, only he can not understand or recognise my depression. He tells me to just get on with it and to pull my socks up. I told him one day that even if I pulled my socks all the way up t my head it still wouldn't help.

My Mum has depression, I wouldn't be surprised either if she would be diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. No one is game enough to suggest that she see a Dr about this! I have BDP as does one of my nieces. Mum cannot understand or accept what we are going through and just feels like we are trying to make life difficult for everyone else.

We all tip toe around Mum so we do not upset her or make her "ill".

For me, I think there will always be people who have very little understanding of mental health issues as they have little compassion for other people.

Educating people, telling them the facts, giving them access to stories and personal experiences may help some people, but I am sure there are others who will never accept or understand mental health issues for what they are.

I applaud you and others who are openly wanting to educate and help others.

It would be wonderful if everyone were to acknowledge and support mental health sufferers.

Cheers from Mrs. Dools

How do we get past the stigma??

ci — Sun, 29 May 2016 03:18:35 GMT

Thanks for your post Mrs dools

Your right some people will struggle to accept or understand you made me laugh reading about your mum and no one being game to suggest she sees someone not because it's funny but my mum is exactly the same! She definitely has something going on but she won't acknowledge it and she so volatile on one would feel safe to suggest it.

She also makes fun of me and my brother because of our mental health issues and thinks it's a weakness. Sad thing is she works in the mental health field.

I know won't change everyone but I think if the younger people where educated properly about this then slowly over time things will change.

I refuse to be made to feel ashamed or silent about my own issues I understand others don't feel the same and that's fine too we all have our ways of dealing with what we go through.

I just need to find the right way to get my ideas and drive to change into the community.

I probably sound bit crazy but I passionate about it.

How do we get past the stigma??

Gruffudd — Sun, 29 May 2016 04:27:25 GMT

Hi Ci,

You can find out more on the Speakers Bureau here:

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-involved/our-speakers-bureau

It is people telling their own stories to help build understanding in the community. I think a bit of structure helps, it gives that support so that it is a positive experience for everyone.

Rob.

How do we get past the stigma??

pipsy — Sun, 29 May 2016 05:25:04 GMT

Hi ci. I totally agree that people today should have more understanding about mental health issues. Prince Philip's mum had mental health issues. She was also profoundly deaf, could lip read in several different languages, yet she was 'locked' away for years. People recoil in horror when you mention things like Asperger's because of the 'stigma' with mental health. If someone is diagnosed with cancer, diabetes, heart problems it 's accepted. The minute you mention mental health everyone thinks they're going to 'catch something'. Depression can be inherited, but today, it is controllable where yesterday, it wasn't. My mother's family had varying degrees of depression, but they were the 'old school' type, where you simply 'got on'. As far as I know no-one in my mum's family ended their life. To them that would've meant 'giving in'. I think it's possible some of the royals do suffer depression, but they're simply not allowed to 'give in' to feeling this way. Education doesn't enter that equation, denial is the quickest way of handling it. Denial, to me, simply means not allowing someone to help you. Asking for help is also a stigma, as you say, it's sad, but a fact. If you can change the way people think, more power to you.

Lynda.

How do we get past the stigma??

Greyhound123 — Sun, 29 May 2016 08:45:52 GMT

Hi guys,

I am very interested in this as-well, it is so frustrating that the stigma exists. Personally I think it is a multi-faceted issue, some of the facets are:

* Not everyone is compassionate. You see a lot of people who don't care if someone is injured or sick at all, so this is no different to them...(they are just assholes all of the time haha)

* Mental illness is generally not visual thing, you don't get a runny nose or sores from depression, it is a complex issue and people can't understand it.

* Culturally here we are taught to cover our emotions, any emotions are bad ("Suck it up", "stop winging" and "Be a man" kinda stuff), we help out when others are in physical need, but not emotional. There is poor education on this, I have seen guys try, but do silly things like invite the depressed alcoholic for a beer to cheer him up, we don't understand how to help. Bullying cultures contributes too.

To move forward I believe we need to tackle this on all fronts, I believe we will make progress, but it will not be a sudden snap and everything is better. It will be a gradual change, like how racism, sexism and LGBT attitudes are getting better, it is a slow process. I am impressed with how much more open a lot of kids are about it, if they grow up with those values, they may just persuade those older than them as well. I think openness and education are the key.

In my own experience sometimes I feel like I lead a double life, no-body in my workplace knows I have mental illness as I fear/know that it would be used against me and people would leverage off it (I work in a very political environment), and I have seen first hand the discrimination that takes place to people who are open about it. When employees come forward with issues, some managers will talk behind closed doors and just happen to tell one of the other workers...who happens to tell someone...and so on until everyone knows. It is so frustrating.

On the other hand in my social life away from work, with close friends I am quite open about it, and happy to discuss it. I feel that as people see that guys they are friends with have issues but are "Normal" etc. Then it helps to break the stigma and they feel more open about it. I still hide it from my inlaws and people I am not good friends with. I have had friends make fun of me etc (I have OCD and used to have quite visible ticks), when I told them when I was younger and I called them out on it and told them it's inappropriate.

How do we get past the stigma??

Greyhound123 — Sun, 29 May 2016 09:42:03 GMT

I think you made an excellent point there Pipsy, denial is another massive issue. I see alot of people with mental health issues who simply deny it to themselves and others. I think it comes down to that persons perception that someone with mental health issues crazy etc...and they are not that. People suffer from cognitive dissonance with this sort of thing, much like smokers knowing it causes cancer, but thinking they will be ok because they eat healthy or some other reason etc...

How do we get past the stigma??

ci — Sun, 29 May 2016 23:00:54 GMT

Hi everyone thank-you all for your posts it's so interesting to hear from others about this issue.

Greyhound123 you are righ with your points not everyone is compassionate and there people won't change you will always get that in society even with physical illness for example few years ago I had a big scare health wise and resulted in a hysterectomy you would think people close to me especially family would be there to help oh no nothing left of to recover looking after 3 kids youngest being only 2 my husband couldn't have time at home so I struggled through people like that don't have compassion and don't change!

education is definitely the key something needs to happen to help educate our kids. I want to find a way to be involved in this just not sure how. If our children grow up educated and understanding about how mental health works and effects our body it would change slowly that get over it culture that exists.

How do we get past the stigma??

pipsy — Sun, 29 May 2016 23:42:43 GMT

Hi ci. I have just heard the most ridiculous 'argument' re: mental health. A guy was waiting just now at the Dr's, he would've been early 60's I suppose. He reckons, if someone has Asperger's, epilepsy, bipolar, schizophrenia, people would be scared to approach them for fear of attack. This person also suggested most people with depression could also come into this category. While I sort of agree re: Asperger's, epilepsy etc, someone suffering straight out depression usually dissolves into tears, or gets a bit agro, or simply runs away. Lack of education concerning the above conditions, is what causes the average Joe-Blow citizen to basically open his mouth to change feet, when talking to people who have any of the above conditions. Anyone suffering any sort of mental issue regardless, has the right to be treated with the same respect as everyone else. If a person with Asperger's etc is a possible threat to the public, then when they want to 'go out' in public, perhaps a knowledgeable carer would eliminate the threat. Again, we're talking education. I see heaps of people with various mental health problems in public with carers. No danger because the people with the condition are being cared for.

Lynda.

How do we get past the stigma??

Doolhof — Mon, 30 May 2016 09:23:41 GMT

Hi All,

Yes, more education for everyone on Mental Health would be beneficial.

I am surprised and saddened by the amount of younger people who post here saying how depressed, stressed and/or how anxious they are at schools.

Work places certainly need to be more understanding and accepting of people with mental health issues as well.

I was working in a Community Centre running a Playgroup and crèche when I had a breakdown and was placed in a mental health unit for two weeks. The Drs and nurses at the hospital recommended that I did not tell my employer where I had been and especially not the adults of whose children I was caring for.

I returned to work and told all involved. My employer was less than supportive, but the Mum's and Dad's were amazing. They were so caring and had no qualms at all regarding me being with their children.

We actually had a lot of laughs about me going to the "Nut House" as some of them put it. It was good for me to make light of that incident. It helped me cope. I also laugh at my forgetfulness. I give friends a gift and then ask them where that item came from!

Some of the parents offered to bring me in chocolates and flowers if I ended up in the mental health unit again. A friend had actually brought her girls in to visit me in the unit. My husband wanted to know if he could bring his washing in for me to do as he found out they had washing machines there! Ha. Ha.

Making fun of it helps me. For others that would be insensitive and offensive. We are all different. As others have mentioned not everyone gets mental health.

Wishing you all a good day! Cheers from Mrs. Dools

How do we get past the stigma??

Greyhound123 — Mon, 30 May 2016 10:57:53 GMT

Hi Doolhoof, it is so disappointing that your employer was not supportive, it makes me so frustrated how widespread this sort of thing is.

*Trigger warning*

In my work we have had a fair few people with mental health and bullying issues, on the surface the company does the right thing, but in reality alot of middle management just don't care. The worst was earlier in the year a guy who was being picked on at work took his own life, what amazed me was that half of the guys picking on him went to his funeral and kept saying how sad they where and that they couldn't believe it happened. Some bosses complained that people took the day off for his funeral, and some of the guys even made crying noises in the meeting making fun when they tried to have a serious talk about mental health. The whole thing made me resolve to never tell them anything. It disgusts me that this sort of thing goes on and that employers are not more supportive.

How do we get past the stigma??

ci — Mon, 30 May 2016 23:18:19 GMT

Thank-you for your posts Mrs dools and Greyhound123 you both make good points

I use humor as well it helps break the ice and if you can't see the humor and make light of your situation it makes it so much harder to deal with.

But there are people that take that way to far as Greyhound123 has said earlier some people just jack compassion. I think a lot of the time people just don't understand what mental health is and they feel uncomfortable. I'm so sorry Greyhound123 that your workplace treats people in the way you mentioned it's awful.

From this thread the I really get impression that education to give people understanding which would lead to compassion.

How do we get past the stigma??

Doolhof — Wed, 01 Jun 2016 07:51:32 GMT

Hi Greyhound 123,

Your story really is despicable. It amazes me how uncaring and thoughtless some people can be.

It seems to me that some people just don't realise how cruel and horrible they actually are. They don't comprehend that words and body language can destroy the soul and the sense of self of the person they are picking on.

Unfortunately I have family members who can be so uncaring, thoughtless and very hurtful in the words they use, showing no regard at all for my mental health issues or those of other people.

I'm sorry to read of the guy who took his own life. It is so very tragic he thought that was the only way out of how he was feeling.

I do so hope Greyhound that you call out for help and support if you become too depre4ssed either due to work or other circumstances. You can call the help line here at Beyond Blue or Lifeline.

No one needs to be alone when they are hurting so badly.

You sound like a compassionate person Greyhound, have compassion on yourself and take care.

Cheers, from Doolhof

How do we get past the stigma??

Doolhof — Wed, 01 Jun 2016 07:58:30 GMT

Hi Ci,

Yes, humour works for me with my own problems I encounter in life. I do not like to use humour and make fun of other people's predicaments. That really is a totally different story.

Greyhound's story is so tragic. I wonder how often that kind of thing happens.

I'm wondering if anyone has ever made a "commercial" about bullying and mental health issues. Something similar tot he car accident commercials that are show to shock people. People are portrayed as having been killed in those adds so maybe something like that regarding mental health might jolt some people.

However, I still feel that some people will never get it though and will keep on bullying and picking on people until the day they die.

Hopefully with more education people will understand mental health better.

Reading some of the posts here, it surprises me when people acknowledge they feel the same as other people in a thread. It is like some people have no idea others feel the same way they do.

Hoping you have a breakthrough with this Ci.

Cheers from Mrs. Dools

How do we get past the stigma??

ci — Wed, 01 Jun 2016 09:48:08 GMT

Your right Mrs dools there is a big difference between humor amongst yourself and friends to lighten the situation. Totally different story with what Greyhound123 was talking about and it's so sad that people think that kind of behavior is ok.

I sound silly but hope I can find a way to make a difference.

Having a hard week so thinking of others and how I could try to help them gives me something to focus on.