topic robthomaslover (used to be mb20lover)'s thread in Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

robthomaslover (used to be mb20lover)'s thread

redroses — Fri, 07 Jan 2022 05:17:28 GMT

hi everyone. i hope i posted this in the correct thread, i wasn't sure where to post it.

i'm tayla, i used to be mb20lover, but i thought it would be best to make a new account and start fresh. i'm 22 by the way. i couldn't think of a different username, so i thought this one would do.

i have missed everyone i have interacted with somehow, and i hope i can try to support others aswell as hopefully getting support for myself, and interacting with people i have in the past, and new people.

i hope everyone had a merry christmas and happy new year.

- tayla (used to be mb20lover).

robthomaslover (used to be mb20lover)'s thread

Summer Rose — Fri, 07 Jan 2022 11:08:54 GMT

Hi Tayla

Welcome back to the forum! A fresh start for the New Year sounds like a great fit.

I look forward to seeing more of your posts and communicating with you.

Kind thoughts to you

robthomaslover (used to be mb20lover)'s thread

redroses — Fri, 07 Jan 2022 11:27:27 GMT

hi summer rose, thanks.

i probably won't be on here as much as i used to be as mb20lover. lately i've just been binge watching new shows i've found so i'll be doing that mostly. it helps a little. i've been ok mentally, i've had my moments of course but yeah.

for now i'll just be talking here & in distracting threads (e.g. BB cafe), as i'm not up to other things lately.

robthomaslover (used to be mb20lover)'s thread

Summer Rose — Fri, 07 Jan 2022 22:43:37 GMT

Hi Robthomaslover

Everyone should feel free to engage with others on the forum in a way that meets their needs. There is no pressure. That’s one of the things I love about the forum, particularly as my life is full of pressure and expectation.

Good to know that your mental health is currently okay. It’s been a tough few years living through the pandemic, and I think everyone has had their ups and downs. We’ve got a way to go yet, so just hang in there.

Kind thoughts to you

robthomaslover (used to be mb20lover)'s thread

Matchy69 — Fri, 07 Jan 2022 23:30:54 GMT

Tayla it's nice to see you back on the forums.I take breaks from time to time.It helps with my mental health.

robthomaslover (used to be mb20lover)'s thread

redroses — Sun, 09 Jan 2022 06:43:24 GMT

hi all. sorry i'm not on here as much as i used to be with my old account.

robthomaslover (used to be mb20lover)'s thread

Matchy69 — Sun, 09 Jan 2022 07:25:19 GMT

It's ok Tayla you can come on here as little and as much as you like.

robthomaslover (used to be mb20lover)'s thread

redroses — Mon, 10 Jan 2022 03:35:02 GMT

thanks Mark.

i've been a bit upset over someone lately.

robthomaslover (used to be mb20lover)'s thread

Matchy69 — Mon, 10 Jan 2022 21:43:49 GMT

Hi Tayla I am sorry you have been upset over someone lately and you can alway talk about it on here if you wanted to.I didn't have a good night last night as would have been someone's birthday who is no longer here.I miss them so much.

robthomaslover (used to be mb20lover)'s thread

Summer Rose — Tue, 11 Jan 2022 05:08:09 GMT

Hi Mark and Tayla (hope it's okay to use these names)

Just letting you know that I'm sorry you're both having a bit of a rough time at present. I'm here to listen and support you both if you want to share more.

Kind thoughts to you

robthomaslover (used to be mb20lover)'s thread

Matchy69 — Tue, 11 Jan 2022 05:18:56 GMT

Hi summer Rose and thank you for your kind words.

robthomaslover (used to be mb20lover)'s thread

redroses — Tue, 11 Jan 2022 07:56:04 GMT

hi Mark & Summer Rose. sorry i'm not on here as much as i used to be with my old account. and it's someone on Facebook, not anyone here. i just said i felt pushed away by them (in a nice way, i wasn't rude) & they left me on read last Tuesday & haven't opened my messages since, they just say sent. so that's been upsetting me. i only like talking to them because we talk about some actor we both like.

and yes it's ok to use those names Summer Rose, thank you. i'm here for you both too. and Mark, i'm sorry about that persons' birthday & them no longer being here.

robthomaslover (used to be mb20lover)'s thread

Summer Rose — Tue, 11 Jan 2022 11:06:03 GMT

Hi Tayla

I think you did the right thing to share your true feelings with your friend. Friends should be able to work through issues in good faith.

Do you think the problem may have been created by the medium? It is really hard to convey tone, intent and nuance in a brief written Facebook message, as compared to the way we can using body language. It’s also really hard to judge if the person you’re communicating with is in the right place to receive your message.

Could you try phoning your friend? Even if they don’t pick up you could leave a friendly message to prompt a response. Otherwise you may just have to wait and see if your friend changes their settings.

Please don’t be too hard on yourself, miscommunications happen. Hopefully with a bit of time you two can work it out.

Kind thoughts to you

robthomaslover (used to be mb20lover)'s thread

redroses — Tue, 11 Jan 2022 11:41:08 GMT

hey summer rose.

i only know this person on facebook, not in person. i started talking to them in a group for one of my favourite shows, then i discovered they liked another actor i recently became obsessed with (i seem to go through phases). they have instagram but i don't have that, so that's my only way of communicating.

maybe they're just taking time away. i shouldn't have said i felt pushed away but in the past they've apologised & said they're not ignoring/avoiding me. i felt that way because i feel like they make excuses not to talk to me but they've also said they miss & love our chats (in the past i mean). so i'm confused.

i do feel bad because they were struggling mentally (i gave them space & respected that) then they seemed ok, but then they just seemed to be avoiding me, at least thats how i felt, which is why i said that.

i made a mistake, i admit, i shouldn't have said that. but i did respect their need for space etc. i'll give them some time and space now also.

i've been trying to distract myself.

robthomaslover (used to be mb20lover)'s thread

Matchy69 — Tue, 11 Jan 2022 20:49:29 GMT

It is always hurtful when someone stops talking to us.I have had this happen especially to someone I was really close to and it hurts like crazy.

robthomaslover (used to be mb20lover)'s thread

Summer Rose — Wed, 12 Jan 2022 06:10:01 GMT

I agree, Mark. The loss of control is really hard to deal with, too. Because sometimes no matter what you try or do, you can't illicit a response.

Tayla, hope the distraction is working for you. Hugs.

Kind thoughts to you both

robthomaslover (used to be mb20lover)'s thread

redroses — Wed, 12 Jan 2022 08:17:55 GMT

hi all.

i'm quite miserable today, self loathing and whatnot included. sadly the distractions aren't helping but that's just me and my stupid self and brain, sigh.

doesn't help that this town where i live sucks.

it's been 8 days today since she last left my message on read. since then the messages just say sent not delivered. so i hope she's ok and we can talk again. i miss it.

it's all my fault.

robthomaslover (used to be mb20lover)'s thread

Matchy69 — Wed, 12 Jan 2022 08:44:02 GMT

I am sorry you are having a bad time at the moment.Losing someone you like talking to is hard.Hopefully they do start talking to you again.

robthomaslover (used to be mb20lover)'s thread

redroses — Wed, 12 Jan 2022 09:38:41 GMT

thanks mark.

i read that someone i went to high school with (didn't know him personally but he was a couple year levels above me & he taught us some sport a couple times, seemed like a nice guy) passed away from mental health reasons.

it's sad, that's 2 people who i don't personally know who have passed away from my high school, & one wellbeing person i used to see.

hits close to home when i went to school with him & he passed away from mental health. i was reading about him, he tried to help others struggling especially with COVID, and in general, but sadly he couldn't get the help he needed. just like so many others across the world. he was only 25, 3 years older than me, & a couple days after his birthday.

heartbreaking, although i don't personally know him. he was alone at the time too. sigh.

robthomaslover (used to be mb20lover)'s thread

Matchy69 — Wed, 12 Jan 2022 11:06:49 GMT

Hi Tayla yes it is always so sad hearing of people passing away to mental health issues.I know of a couple I went to school and they didn't make it to 20.It does make you think and wonder how you can help people and not have tragedies like that.