topic Hi Bel1825, Thank you for your bravery and openness in s... in Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

feeling lost and confused.

Bel1825 — Tue, 25 Aug 2026 01:09:32 GMT

I relapsed in self harm for the first time in 5 years (Since 2021) im so surrounded by people who love me and im just so confused, mostly by my own emotions. i need some advice for feeling so lost.

im so dissapointed that i relapsed, and i am going to try my absolute best to stay clean again, but it felt like after i relapsed everything went quiet for a few minutes. like proper true silence, mentally and physically. Im not having suicidal tendencies, before people ask, ive just gone back to something i used to know.

Hi Bel1825, Thank you for your bravery and openness in s...

Sophie_M — Tue, 25 Aug 2026 03:32:41 GMT

Hi Bel1825,

Thank you for your bravery and openness in sharing here. We can hear how difficult things have been recently, that have made you feel this way. We’re so sorry that’s been going on. We’re reaching out to you privately to make sure you’re ok.

Is there anyone that you feel able to talk to about this? It sounds like you could really do with talking things through, I know you have mentioned you are surrounded by people who love you, but there is also our lovely Beyond Blue counsellors who you can call on 1300 22 4636 or speak to them on webchat here.

If you’re feeling unable to avoid acting on thoughts of self-harm, this is an emergency, so please call 000 (triple zero).

Community members have mentioned an app called ‘Calm Harm’ being helpful for managing self-harm urges. This may be a helpful tool for you in the meantime.

We hope this helps you towards getting some support with this, and that you can be as kind to yourself as you have been in sharing with the community here.

Kind regards,
Sophie M

Re: feeling lost and confused.

Croix — Thu, 27 Aug 2026 12:02:41 GMT

Dear Bel1825~

We had a discussion in your other thread about feeling a burden, and I'm glad you have decided to talk about you self-harm directly now. I can understand you not wanting to discus it with your girlfriend or htose around you, you gave your reason before.

That still leaves you isolated and faced with a coping mechanism that is dangerous, even if in the short term it feels like it helps. I guess you know this already but it is worth repeating - you feel it can never happen to you BUT you may make a mistake, it can escalate, or something goes wrong, or your mood get so low you do try to take your life. I hope you took Sophie_M's advice and talked ot one of our councilors who would have been able to give you advice on how to go.

May I ask you that if you looked back on when you stopped self-harming before and tried to avoid it afterwards what are the reasons that you did stop, and if they are as true today? It might be you then found an alternative method to give you a moment of peace.

Peace can seem so desirable and needed. The realy hard part is to face everything by yourself as without outside assistance things may not go well. Until I talked to someone (my partner in my case, then a psych) there was no way I was improving, in fact I kept getting worse. When overwhelmed I needed a safty valve, which eventually I got. I could ring someone and just talk.

Is there anyone in your life you could talk with at the time when the urge to hurt yourself starts to take over?

If htere is not this may be something you could talk over with a GP or psychologist, to see what options are open to you. If all else fails Lifeline on 13 11 14 by phone or web-chat, also the Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467. Both have phone and web-chat 24/7.

I know these sound heavy or for suicide only, however that impression is wrong, they are there for anyone such as you or me.

I though things were hopeless and there was no path out, now I'm a different person and have large parts of my life I enjoy and can find peace.

I hpe you do talk more with us if you would like to and let us know how you are going.

Croix

Re: feeling lost and confused.

therising — Thu, 27 Aug 2026 20:30:40 GMT

Hi Bel1825

My heart goes out to you so much while you face a time in your life that involves you feeling so lost and so confused. I know it's easier said than done but try not to be too hard on yourself when it comes to returning to what used to serve you in some way. Perhaps try looking at it as you being in the process of never returning to it again. Sometimes a relapse is part of the process.

If our emotions are designed to give us a sense of direction, if we can't work out what those emotions involved are exactly and how they're trying to direct us, it becomes understandable why we can feel so disoriented at times. While I'm still trying to work out how to master my emotions, rely on them for a sense of direction and conjure the ones I need at times, to say such challenges can be far from easy is an understatement.

In some cultures, emotions are regarded as 'energy in motion' or what you could call 'e-motion'. Whether we're talking about physical or chemical energy within our body that we can feel, mental energy we can feel the impact of or just a natural sense of energy, 'What the hell is this energy I'm feeling?' becomes a valid question at times. With the SH relapse, would you say what you felt was a sense of peace? If peace is defined as 'the absence of conflict', an absence of mental and physical conflict can leave nothing but a sense of peace at times. How to gain a sense of peace in other ways that doesn't involve SH can be just one challenge in life amongst many. Keep in mind that SH comes in many different forms, whether that involves the form you've experienced, a destructive form of emotional eating or emotional drinking (alcohol), a form of drug taking etc. A sense of peace can be found in 'the hit' or 'the high' or 'the release'. Finding constructive hits, highs or releases is skillful. It becomes about skill development. I'm imagining you've developed some skills over the last 5 years. Give yourself some credit for that.

As a 56yo gal, it took me decades to finally work out what the feeling of 'completely and utterly lost with no sense of direction' is telling me. What it tells me is 'It's time to ask for directions. It's time to find a guide'. We won't be looking for just any old guide, we'll be looking for one specific to our needs. If we're looking for a guide to help us better understand emotions, we'd seek an emotional guide. If we're looking for one to help navigate through significant financial challenges, we'd look for a financial guide. If we're desperate for a more soulful sense of direction in life, we'd seek a guide that serves the soul and so on. Sometimes what we can be needing, in more complex situations, is a circle of guides.

In navigating life's landscape, there can definitely be some dark territories at times and some stressful or anxiety inducing territories and there can be places along our path with no obvious signs when it comes to which way to head. When all we've got to rely on is our 'emotional compass', so as to get a feel for where we're at and that needle's spinning around all over the dial (regarding a lot of mixed emotions), sometimes it pays to sit down and take a bit of time to figure out exactly the guide we need regarding the best way forward. It can also pay to look back, in hindsight, and see just how far we've come.🙂