topic No one actually cares in Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

No one actually cares

WhereDoIBegin — Mon, 30 Dec 2024 11:00:21 GMT

I’m on medication

i see a psychiatrist

i just called lifeline and if many things I explained how one of the things that messes with me is that after an hour with the psychiatrist your “time is up”

Thought it was going well but then after half an hour she said it’s “time to end the call”

guess I’m not suicidal enough

i don’t want to die

i wNt to live for my kids

i was cheated on 6 years ago and left for another man

no abuse, nothing sinister. I am a good man.

But since then I have struggled with both anxiety and depression

on pills prescribed by the doc

and I’m seeing a psychiatrist as already said

but it doesn’t change anything

i feel pain everyday

my day is wake up

feel pain

work

feel pain

work more because child support doesn’t care and I’m paying a huge amount more than I should

have kids - because I have them 50%

and then I feel like a beer

and one always turns into many

now I’m an alcoholic that is seeking support for that A more money

I have my kids literally 50% but I still pay $340 a week child support

On top of that - i pay all of their sports, my eldest (I have 3) does

high end sport so that alone is >$5k a year, plus her other one and then the second girl does 3 things and the you youngest boy does a couple things (trying not to be too specific just in case)

no one cares

as long as mum is ok, everyone is ok.

and then my eldest says “mum can’t afford our lunch orders this week” on a Friday it is about $10 each for a Lunch order. Meanwhile she just got new sunglasses worth $300. Tattoos, you name or.

the system doesn’t care

i always try to do the right thing “mum must just be going through a hard time” but she does cash on the side plus Centrelink payments, plus she is still with the aforementioned man who has his own income.

She was supposed to keep them on private health but then when the first big op came up no, we had to spend double (which I pay half) because she had taken them off without my knowledge because she “couldn’t afford it” In the meantime she had a tummy tuck and god knows what else because she wanted to look better.

the system doesn’t care about the kids and definitely not the person who makes money, they just feed the person who makes the least. Great job Australia.

im just about done with it all the only thing holding me here is my 3 amazing children who are innocent and I would never let know this drama.

guess the only reason I’m here is god I hope someone has had the same experience and made it through and can me some guidance.

there isn’t any more ‘medical’ prescribed things I can be doing.

Re: No one actually cares

white knight — Tue, 31 Dec 2024 09:54:11 GMT

Hi welcome

Community champions here have lived experience in some ways, I've been under the child support system for 14 years, that ended in 2010. Never missed a payment. I had the kids every 2nd weekend and some holidays.

When our youngest was 14 she needed Orthodontic care and I agreed to pay it, $5000, then another $3000,...eventually $15,000 over and above CS. Being a good dad is one thing but it's really being a good ex husband and I regret paying her half.

So upon reflection unless extra funds are directly assisting the children I'd suggest not paying.

With 50% care I'm surprised you are paying child support at all. Please check that out.

Your pessimism is warranted with the medical, CS, systems, all I can say is try to battle on the best you can because when your youngest reaches 18 (or finishes school) life begins again financially. Until then, as I used to say "just play the game", eg extra cash in hay season, looks like she is playing it now.

I have one suggestion that might help your depression. A passion. Hobbies cost money and they could be possible if alcohol was foresaken. It depends if you're a tinkerer, a sporting type and so on, but any distraction is better than none.

This forum is always open for your post. Just type away and wait for a reply. If you reply to someone that has answered previously it will come up in our notifications.

I understand your situation. I had many down times in that 14 years. My ex was nasty for no reason. I survived to prove her wrong "you'll never be successful".

When my youngest reached 18 I sent my ex a text " don't ever contact me again, ever"... she hasn't. Since that day I've been free, remarried and am very happy.

When you are left only with your pride its normal to focus on your ex's exploits, try not to think of that at all. Stay proud, yes, you're a good man.

TonyWK

Re: No one actually cares

WhereDoIBegin — Tue, 11 Feb 2025 00:44:43 GMT

Hi TonyWK,

I wanted to reach out and let you know I am on a better path, and I'd like to acknowledge that your reply and your words, in particular your last paragraph, were really powerful to me.

Thanks so much for taking the time.