topic Re: Struggling to get help in Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

Struggling to get help

Doolhof — Mon, 20 Mar 2023 20:39:56 GMT

I know this is a place where we are supposed to encourage and support each other, to offer suggestions of where help may be received and to try to be positive in our experiences of reaching out for mental health guidance and care.

Unfortunately that has not been my experience for a long time living in the country.

My GP kept telling me he would make an appointment with me to do a mental health care plan. That took about 6 months. At an appointment I basically told him I needed help, could he please do the plan that day and not make me wait another 4 weeks for a next appointment.

The psychologist he recommended sent me an email stating with the information the Dr had written in the referral she was unable to assist me. She had not even met me!

Wait another 4 weeks for another Drs appointment. A new psychologist was recommended, I had to drive to the city for this one. Had to wait a couple of months for an appointment. My appointment was to be on Thursday this week. Received an email from the psychologist stating "due to changes in his circumstances he is no longer able to offer me sessions".

I go to the local hospital and am told "the Doctors are too busy seeing more important patients to be able to see you". The Nurse/Sister actually stated that to me over and over.

Looks like me and my sick mind are just going to have to keep trying to support myself until it doesn't work any longer.

Re: Struggling to get help

Summer Rose — Tue, 21 Mar 2023 01:18:46 GMT

Hi Dools

I’m so sorry that the help and support you need isn’t available to you. It’s really really really not good enough.

Wait lists are outrageous at the moment, especially in regional and remote Australia. Makes me want to cry or scream—maybe both.

I know you’re disappointed and frustrated and time is dragging on, but I want to encourage you to hang in there just a bit more and see your GP for another referral.

I know it’s unfair and tiring, but your mental health matters—and you’re close to starting a process that could really help you.

Kind thoughts to you

Re: Struggling to get help

james1 — Tue, 21 Mar 2023 02:09:24 GMT

Oh no, I'm so sorry to hear you've had such a terrible experience with the gp, psychologist, and hospital. I understand this is not the first time and know how demoralising that can be. Having spent some time on the forums and heard different people's stories, it's really sad that your experience is not an isolated one. Just as there are many good doctors out there, there are still many who simply can't or won't help, and don't understand the challenges we face.

While we can't offer you the professional support you need, I hope you can find a use for us so you aren't alone in supporting yourself. It's not right or fair that you should be left behind by the health care system like this.

Re: Struggling to get help

therising — Tue, 21 Mar 2023 04:04:50 GMT

Hi Doolhof

When I read your post I felt rage. While rage is something that tends to rise up, experiencing this kind of neglect would once have typically brought me down further into a depression. I can relate to how heartbreaking it can feel. My heart truly goes out to you so very much.

While some practitioners are absolute legends others can be depressing and enraging. I've met with both types over the years, in different forms. So tempting, hey, to say to those who neglect our pain (mental and/or physical) 'Based on the fact you have given me nothing, nothing is what I owe you'. I actually had an argument with a GP once, out of pure desperation. While he insisted I go on anti anxiety meds, based on me having an anxiety attack in his office, I insisted 'No. I don't experience anxiety. This is not anxiety. I need you to to figure out what it is. I'm not taking medication'. His response, 'Make another appointment and we'll discuss the medication. Long story short, another GP who ordered an MRI identified silent migraines (which were setting off my nervous system). Was having one in the MRI machine at the time. Another GP once advised 'The kind of fatigue you're experiencing is just a part of the life of a mother with aging parents'. Turned out to be a depressing level of sleep apnea. Doctors who refuse to listen.

Doolhof, you should not be left to suffer while others refuse to listen. At 52, it's taken me decades to finally reach the point of allowing the 'intolerant cow' in me to come to life. This facet (which you have inside you) can be a wonderful or wonder filled part of who we are. To a GP who refuses to help, that facet may lead us to say 'I can't help but wonder why you refuse to listen to me, why you would send me away to continue suffering and who you expect to be my support and guide at this point when I'm so lost'. The super sassy part of my inner cow would be desperate to say 'I can't help but wonder how you believe such neglect can be classed as a 'service''.

While once I tried so hard to suppress, now I welcome the cow/caretaker in me with open arms. Born from sadness, depression, desperation, heartbreak, absolute frustration and so much more, the labor pains can be brutal.

Re: Struggling to get help

Doolhof — Tue, 21 Mar 2023 04:39:09 GMT

Hi Summer Rose, therising, and James1,

Thank you so much for your support and care, I greatly appreciate all your responses. I just had to get my thoughts out of my mind as they were rattling away and my recent disappointment with not being able to receive help just brought up memories of past experiences that went the same way.

I do realise there is no doubt a legitimate reason for the fact that neither psychologist can assist me, it is just frustrating this is happening all over again.

I also realise there is a lot I am able to do to assist myself, it is just hard to be motivated to do so when you are already emotionally and mentally exhausted!

This morning I sent an email to the Dr who made the referral and included a copy of the email I received from the psychologist so he will be aware of the situation. I have not yet made another Drs appointment. I should do so as it may well take me at least 4 weeks to see the same Dr!

Today I am in self preservation mode. I feel like I have done very little...I am resting and surviving, trying to regain a sense of self and perseverance I suppose.

I need to look at all of this as an opportunity to find ways to assist myself more perhaps. Then again if I was able to do that in the first place I wouldn't be so darn frustrated now!

Thanks again for all of your replies. I know Drs are not God and they don't know everything, they must be exhausted at times also. Hope we all find the assistance we need and deserve!

Kind regards to you all from Dools

Re: Struggling to get help

Doolhof — Tue, 21 Mar 2023 19:43:15 GMT

Hi All,

I really need to get my life back on track.

At present I only have 2 days a week of work, stuff happened last year and no more hours are on offer for me. I have been looking elsewhere for work, not an easy thing to do when depression and doubts hit.

I'm trying to make the most of my days. Having trouble with motivation to do things.

Reading self help books assist only so much.

Needing to find a sense of direction and purpose.

Re: Struggling to get help

Summer Rose — Wed, 22 Mar 2023 11:42:37 GMT

Hi Dools

From your recent posts it sounds like your mood has improved, and I really like the way you are reframing the issue. Good on you!

I’m sorry, however, to hear about your reduced work hours and can certainly understand why you now feel a longing for greater direction and purpose in your life.

You do such an amazing job volunteering as a Commentator Champion for bb that I’m wondering if this aspect of your life could help fill the void. Perhaps you might want to become a speaker or find other volunteering opportunities through blue voices? Or, you could look for opportunities with other mental health organisations.
Have you ever considered undertaking further study? Many TAFE courses (including in the mental health field) are now being offered for free to help fill important gaps across many sectors of the economy. Perhaps there is a new career ahead for you!

It’s really easy for people to become stuck within their four walls—and their heads for that matter—but I know from your work here that you have a lot of insight, intelligence and compassion to share. Think about your strengths and interests. Happy to brainstorm and chat anytime.

Kind thoughts to you

Re: Struggling to get help

Doolhof — Thu, 23 Mar 2023 02:07:53 GMT

Hi Summer Rose,

Thanks so much for your suggestions and kind words. I'd just like to point out that I am no longer a Community Champion, and have not been for years now. I have been allocated the reference of Champion Alumni. I drift back to the forums now and then and contribute where I can and when I am able.

This morning I have applied for a volunteer position. Apparently I need two people to act as referees from work! My work situation is not all that pleasant . I have sent emails to my team leader and the next person up from them. I am not even expecting a reply from them, communication has been so bad! Maybe they will surprise me and accept my request.

I will ask a couple of other people at work when I am there next if they would be willing to do this for me. I can't believe how many hoops I have to jump through for this volunteer position!

I don't know anything about Blue Voices. Maybe I should Google that.

Study on the computer and me don't mix all that well. Ha. Ha. I generally have to ask my husband to come and help me out.

Hadn't thought about some Tafe courses being free! That is a wonderful concept!

Yes, I need to step away from my general way of thinking and consider other options. Thanks for your encouragement!

Regards to you from Dools

Re: Struggling to get help

Doolhof — Thu, 23 Mar 2023 02:11:44 GMT

Update:

My Dr responded to my email about the cancellation of the psychologist. I had a message from the medical centre stating I have a new referral to pick up from the medical centre. I will drive the 20 kilometres to that town tomorrow to pick up the information. It could take a while as there are roadworks on the way and the delay can be 15 minutes or longer to get past the road works.

Maybe I will take a book to read while waiting!

I'm going to have a walk in a national park on the way there and then visit a cafe I like in that town for a treat.

Re: Struggling to get help

Summer Rose — Thu, 23 Mar 2023 05:31:22 GMT

Hi Dools

Sorry about the mix up about you being a Community Champion--I just always think of you that way, despite information to the contrary being right in front of my eyes!!!

Good luck progressing your volunteer role application. Blue Voices is an arm of Beyond Blue, where people with lived mental health experience can contribute in various ways to shape the work of Beyond Blue. I'm a member and love it. You'll find information on the Beyond Blue website.

Great to hear you're making progress on your referral. It shouldn't be so hard but you are doing great. Yes to the book and making the most of your time in town!

Kind thoughts to you

Re: Struggling to get help

Doolhof — Fri, 24 Mar 2023 02:08:14 GMT

Hi Summer Rose,

No need to apologise at all regarding the Champs bit. I like to connect with the forum now and then.

I did have a look at Blue Voices yesterday on the internet.

The road works were shocking! Waited 15 minutes, only one car and 1 truck were allowed through. Waited another 15 minutes and nothing changed! Did a U turn and drove along some precarious dirt roads to reach the Conservation Park. It was lovely once I arrived there. My car looks like I have taken it out bush bashing!

I've not yet received replies from my work colleagues I asked to be referees for the volunteer role. Will try some other staff next time I am in at work.

Picked up the letter of referral from the Dr for the new psychologist, to discover she works in Mildura and I live near Adelaide! Maybe she has moved to S.A.? The contact number is a land line in Victoria! I left a message so will see if I have any contact.

Is it just me or does this all sound like it is too much trouble?

Re: Struggling to get help

therising — Fri, 24 Mar 2023 19:14:13 GMT

Hi Doolhof

There are times where I feel like saying to people 'Is there any reason why this is so much harder than what it really needs to be?'. Some things can feel more like a complex obstacle course than a solution or simple way forward. The directions: In order to reach your destination, speak to the same person 3 or more times, make an appointment with person B, have it cancelled then return to point A. After so many minutes, hours or days turn off onto the beaten track, turn left, turn right, jump through hoops, dance naked under a full moon, spin around 3 times and you're there. Btw, it will cost you time, money and your sense of well being (to some degree) as payment for the obstacle course. What the? By the time you reach the end of such a course, you'd be fully entitled to run around like an AFL player who's just kicked the winning goal. Imagine it, running around with your arms up in the air, jumping about while everyone else runs up to you cheering you, hugging you and patting you on the back for being a champion. Meanwhile, you have thousands of people screaming with joy, while appreciating you for the legend you are.

Kicking goals in depression often goes unrecognised and sometimes it feels so incredibly unfair, all that hard work that's not fully acknowledged. Can be so much hard work. I think sometimes we have to award our self the medals we deserve. Whether they come in the form of a latte and croissant at a much loved cafe or a small gift of some type, we gotta be able to say to our self in such moments (when such awards are self bestowed) 'YOU ARE AN ABSOLUTE LEGEND!!!'.

Re: Struggling to get help

Doolhof — Fri, 24 Mar 2023 19:57:31 GMT

Hi therising and all reading,

Sometimes I feel like pulling my hair out and banging my head against the wall would be more productive! At least then I would have something else to think about and the pain would be more physical than emotional and mental.

Another frustrating thing is the Dr has just added to the referral he originally wrote in January to psychologist No 1. I pointed out to him then that the information he had supplied was incorrect. He just added to the bottom for psych No 2. If you read the referral it contradicts itself and makes no sense.

Now he is sending it to psych No3 with details I am not sure even fit with this one's speciality! (Which may well be time travel if they work in Victoria and I live in S.A.!)

Suppose I just have to wait to see if I receive a call or any contact from psychologist No3.

In regards to your footy analogy, I was watching an AFL footy match last night where half the lights went out and the teams had to leave the oval for a while. At least they were able to return to the oval to finish the game. Hopefully I will score a goal so to speak with this new psychologist.

Lifeline and Beyond Blue are my supports at present!

I'm trying to help myself as well along the way.

Will ask some other staff today if they would be referees for me. See how that goes!

I'll also look for all the positives I can find today!

Re: Struggling to get help

Summer Rose — Fri, 24 Mar 2023 21:17:39 GMT

Hi Dools

It isn’t just you, the situation your GP has created is ridiculous. Perhaps another GP? Or, do some research yourself and bring your own recommendations to your GP.

I have had to find practitioners on my own on many occasions. Many clinics have websites and list their staff with information about the staff member’s’ specialities. Beyond Blue can give you information on local psychologists, and so can the Australian Psychological Society. Sometimes if you want something done right you have to do it yourself.

I wish you well in your search for help💜

Kind thoughts to you

Re: Struggling to get help

therising — Fri, 24 Mar 2023 21:48:37 GMT

Hi Doolhof

While some GPs can be doing some good work, certain aspects of that work can be called into question and I think we should feel entitled to call it.

Was talking with my 17yo son just yesterday about the nature of referrals. We agreed that a referral has got to be good enough to trigger the imagination of the person receiving it.

On Monday I'll be speaking to my son's GP (with my son's permission) about a 4th referral which will hopefully have my son see someone who's able to prescribe medication for significant focus and some cognitive issues. The meds are last resort after trying a whole lot of different avenues over the last couple of years. Year 12 exams are looming this year and my son's seriously struggling to manage the work in the lead up. He desperately wants to be able to do the work and get into uni. Basically, I'm doing whatever it takes for him not to become stressed and deeply depressed through his struggle, something I could see beginning to happen.

With the GP attaching a 2021 psychologist's assessment of ticking some boxes but not all for ADHD, this does not take into account the current assessment being done by a psychologist for ADHD and/or high functioning autism. With the current report in the process of being written and the 2021 assessment being attached to each referral, not even coming close to defining the incredible struggle my son now faces with more complex work, psychiatrists are basically referring to what equates to little struggle.

I think any referral should begin with a kind of unwritten 'Imagine this...'. For example, '(Imagine this), the patient/client, while once experiencing some degree of struggle and mental health issues over time now presents with overwhelming struggle and is in serious need of assistance. There is a sense of great urgency in this case' and so on. What do you think the specialist would imagine, based on such a referral?

A good referral paints a clear picture. Might pay to get onto psychologist 3 and see if they've got the picture. Should add, my son's current psychologist got the picture and the sense of urgency, which is why she saw him straight away for an assessment instead of adding him onto the end of a 6 month waiting list. She's been an absolute star.

Re: Struggling to get help

Doolhof — Sat, 25 Mar 2023 20:02:21 GMT

Hi Summer Rose,

Thanks for that. I have tried to research local psychologists myself, would look into it further. There have been some I have seen in the past that state they can help with this and that, but when I see them for the appointment one stated she did not do that.

I had also looked at the Drs information for the medical centre I attend. Only a couple listed an interest in mental health. The Dr I am seeing had worked in a mental health unit in the city and listed MH as an interest. Maybe he was just too busy to read through his original reference and then correct it later. I don't know.

I had actually typed up notes of the issue I mainly need assistance with and presented that to the Dr when asking him to correct his referral in the first place. He just tacked that information on and it contradicts what he had originally written.

I'm waiting to see if this new psychologist gets in touch. I have searched the internet for details about her and they are hard to access. If I could find an email address I could enlighten her on details.

Thanks for your kind thoughts, I appreciate that, hope you are well, regards from Dools

Re: Struggling to get help

Doolhof — Sat, 25 Mar 2023 20:12:30 GMT

The Rising,

Hi and thanks for sharing. It is wonderful your son has been able to receive the care and assistance he requires, I hope he is very successful with his education desires. It is excellent you are aware of his needs and are assisting as much as you can and are not leaving him to flounder in his own struggles.

As I mentioned in the post to Summer Rose I have tried to find information about the psychologist now recommended to me. I may also look to other sources to find a psychologist myself. I do have a postal address for No 3 so may write a letter. That could take weeks to reach her!

Here in S.A. We have the RAA road side assistance. I applied for a new card 6 weeks ago...it was posted 4 weeks ago! A phone call to RAA stated it was still coming in the post! I could have driven there and picked it up with in 3 hours! My point is, what is happening in our modern day world! How can a letter take 4 weeks to travel 100 kilometres?

If I don't hear from No.3 next week I think I am going to put it all in the too hard basket.

Re: Struggling to get help

Doolhof — Mon, 27 Mar 2023 20:00:21 GMT

Hi All,

No word from Psych No 3 yesterday. I used the Australia Psychological Society site and was able to send her an email so will see if that produces any response.

I tried Googling her for other information, qualifications, specialties or what ever and found very little. I did see the South Australian address listed on one site for her is in the city where as my Dr is telling me she works in a country town called Birdwood!

Wonder if she will make me an appointment for Mildura! I haven't been up that way for a few years!

Re: Struggling to get help

james1 — Tue, 28 Mar 2023 02:59:53 GMT

Hello Dools, reading about your challenges in getting a psych are such a stark reminder that services are just not provided equally to everyone in Australia. That is so frustrating that you put in so much work to try and explain the issues to the gp and get letters of referral. I hope the email to no.3 gets a response.

James

Re: Struggling to get help

Doolhof — Tue, 28 Mar 2023 20:29:52 GMT

Hi James, Summer Rose, therising and all reading,

It seems the email to the psychologist has assisted the process. Thanks Summer Rose for suggesting contacting the Australian Psychological Society. I received an email from Psych No 3, I replied and she made a phone call in the afternoon. I now have an appointment date for beginning of May.

James, I do understand gaining services for mental health can be difficult for lots of people. Trying to secure an appointment with medical people in general in regional areas can mean long waits. Unless you make appointments in advance it can take 4 to 6 weeks for a medical appointment. Urgent cases are fitted in where possible. One lady stated she was told there was a 9 week wait to see her preferred G.P.

I have not encountered a country psychologist that bulk bills even with a mental health care plan. One psychologist charged a GAP of $180.00 per session with a mental health care plan. Most have charged a GAP of $50.00 to $60.00.

This new psychologist is over an hour's drive away. I will plan a walk near the appointment and see what else there is to see and do in the area to make it worth the trip.