topic Re: I hate everything about myself. in Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

I hate everything about myself.

timeforbed — Tue, 21 Feb 2023 11:15:13 GMT

I'm 18 and I wished I died a long time ago. I think everything about me just burdens and annoys people around me. I think I'm ungrateful and selfish. I constantly think about what life would've been like if I had done things differently or, better yet, if I was never born- it would definitely made my mom's life easier. I have nobody to miss me when I'm gone, I might as well go now.

Hi timeforbed We are so sorry to hear about what you're...

Sophie_M — Tue, 21 Feb 2023 11:28:10 GMT

Hi timeforbed

We are so sorry to hear about what you're going through; it sounds like it has been an incredibly tough time.

Thank you for being part of our forums - it takes a lot of courage and strength to reach out for support and we are so glad that you have found your way here and done so.

We hope that you can get some support here, the community will be here to listen and chat with you.

You can also reach out to Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636 or Lifeline 13 11 14. We have sent you a private email so that we can support you further. Kind regards,

Sophie M

Re: I hate everything about myself.

therising — Wed, 22 Feb 2023 09:45:26 GMT

Hi timeforbed

I'd have to say one of the worst things about depression is the self hatred and the levels of it that can be reached. The lists in my mind that I've composed over the years during periods in depression have sometimes been long and brutal. Rehashing them, even more brutal. I'd have to say it's like a form of torture. While many speak of the different challenges depression can pose, not a heck of a lot of people address the issue of how deep self hatred can go, identifying at what stage of our life it subtly begins in various forms or how it develops ever so gradually until you can really start to feel it at your very core, in some soul destroying way.

Took me a long time to finally realise, self hatred often relates to a lack of ability, a lack skills (ones that may have never been taught to us), such as the skill or ability to forgive our self while learning to better understand our self (why we do what we do at times). The skill involved in self compassion and the ability to recognise how and why we can take self service too far at times can also be missing. So many skills, so many abilities. I think, sometimes we can come to hate our self simply through a lack of education and self understanding. Perhaps one of the ultimate goals in depression is to seek and find the kind of knowledge that becomes truly mind altering in so many ways.

Re: I hate everything about myself.

rubytiger — Tue, 18 Apr 2023 02:41:29 GMT

Hey timeforbed

I'm 19 and i feel the exact same way as you. I feel that way now and all the time. That way of thinking never goes away as much as i try and as much as i want it to. I have nobody around me to help and i definitely know nobody will even care if I'm no longer around aswell as having no one to talk to.

How are you feeling today?

I'm here if you need to talk.

I am here to talk if you need.