topic Bad Deprssion in Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

Bad Deprssion

Nelson001 — Fri, 22 Jan 2021 07:42:31 GMT

Hi I'm new to this. I have clinical depression or so I think.I have had depression on and off for quite a few years, but nothing like I'm going through at the moment. I don't know whether this is a bad depression or am I going nuts. I haven't come across anyone who has had depression like this.
Is there anyone out there who might be suffering from the same.

Bad Deprssion

sunnyl20 — Fri, 22 Jan 2021 07:54:43 GMT

Hi Nelson001,

Thank you for your post. I am really sorry to hear you are struggling so much right now. It sounds like you are in a pretty bad place. You are definitely not alone in what you are going through though.

When you have struggled in the past, was there anything that you remember that helped you? Have you considered seeing your GP or talking to someone you trust about what has been happening for you?

If and when you feel up to it, please do not hesitate to talk more. We are here to listen and support you. Take care.

Bad Deprssion

Nelson001 — Fri, 22 Jan 2021 08:28:06 GMT

Hi thanks for the reply. I have seen my JP but there is not much she can do , I'm on antidepressant pills but they are not working. I'm on what they call is a mental health plan, that comes with a mental health team, but all they could come up with was give up the grog, which I have. I have got to the point where I want to try shock treatment. I just want this horrible feeling gone.

Bad Deprssion

Guest_4643 — Fri, 22 Jan 2021 10:51:21 GMT

Hi Nelson001, welcome to the forums.

I'm sorry you're struggling a lot with bad depression. There's many types of depression. I would suggest seeing a GP and/or Psychiatrist (you'd need to see a GP anyway to get a referral for a Psychiatrist) to get a diagnosis, sometimes it helps getting an answer.

I have Major Depressive Disorder and Dysthymia at the same time, so it could be something like that but I'm no medical professional of course. Just trying to say you're not alone, I'm in a very deep depression myself and I have been since I was 12, in 2011. I'm 21 now.

Take care, I'm always here if you'd like someone to chat to.

Bad Deprssion

Nelson001 — Sat, 23 Jan 2021 04:24:36 GMT

Hi b20lover thanks for the post. I'm lost at what to say. feeling like this is bullshit. I have a few problems that will come to a head within the next couple of months, so I'm hoping that once they are worked out this depression will go away. Big dream but I'm hoping. I live in Cairns and to get to see a drink is impossible. There isn't any. I am trying to finddo some Group therapy. I want to meet someone who has the same problem as me so I know it's depression that I have and that I'm not going insane

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Nelson001 — Sat, 23 Jan 2021 04:35:14 GMT

that should have read "shrink"not drink

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sunnyl20 — Sat, 23 Jan 2021 06:41:23 GMT

Hi Nelson001,

You are definitely not alone in what you are experiencing. I'm really sorry that you haven't been able to find what you need yet. Do you know if your GP is able to refer you to group therapy or if she has any other suggestions? Is trying a different medication an option if you are not feeling the one you are currently on is making any difference? Are you open to talking to a counsellor or psychologist? Do you think this may be another option to investigate and try? Just some things to think about.

Take care.

Bad Deprssion

Nelson001 — Sat, 23 Jan 2021 07:29:31 GMT

Hi sunnyl20, I was to change medication but I had to taper off the pills that I'm on. I tried to do that but the problem with that was I went through severe depression doing it. I tried but it became too much. I want to try ECT (shock treatment), but it's finding a shrink to OK it. I'm on a mental health plan, which comes with a mental health team, who have told me before I can get anything done I have to give up all alcohol and drug which I have done. The way my head is doing the smallest of tasks becomes a big negative deal. Everything becomes hard. If only this feeling would become less server it wouldn't be so bad. This horrible feeling stays 24/7. It's there when I go to sleep and it's there when I wake up. But it's good talking to someone. much appreciated mate

Bad Deprssion

mocha delight — Sat, 23 Jan 2021 14:57:36 GMT

Hi nelson001 not officially diagnosed with anything yet but my psychologist has told me that I have clinical depression as well as social anxiety & general anxiety as well.

Bad Deprssion

Juliet — Sat, 23 Jan 2021 18:46:52 GMT

Hi Nelson 001. Sorry to hear you are having a rough time. I have got major depression and can say I know how you feel about wondering about going crazy.
I am feeling low at the moment but about five years ago I had a major depressive ‘episode’ I suppose you might call it. My psychiatrist asked if I wanted to go to hospital and I immediately agreed (pure relief). I was then pretty much immediately put on ECT treatments.
I am just curious have you been on many antidepressants so far or are you concerned that you need help immediately?
I am not against ECT as it certainly helped me when I needed it the most but I do also want to warn you that my treatments had a lasting effect on my life. Unfortunately they took a lot of my memory away and they have changed me as a person. I no longer have loving memories with my family to look back on and I feel like that not only has changed me as a person but also has had an impact because I can’t remember all the love and great times I had over the years with my family.
Basically just wanted to let you know to be a bit careful.
Take care, Juliet.

Bad Deprssion

Nelson001 — Sun, 24 Jan 2021 01:34:33 GMT

Hi Juliet, Thanks for the post. WOW telling me all that is a blowout. I'm not too sure now. But it is all I have left. The feeling I'm going through is becoming too much. What do I do? It would be nice if a pill was to fix the head but I have to get off the pills I'm on to do that. but I tried that and it became too much. I tried CBT with a psychologist but it didn't seem to work My big worry (the reason I recon I became depressed) is to come to a head within the next couple of months and when that is all finished with I'm hoping that it will help heal my head a bit. If the anxiety were to be less severe than it is it would help. So at the end of the day, I'm not going mad it's just the anxiety. But it is still doing a lot of damage.. It is already having an effect on my memory

Bad Deprssion

Guest_4643 — Sun, 24 Jan 2021 01:43:03 GMT

Hey Nelson, I'm sorry I didn't reply sooner. I've been struggling a lot myself. I know how you feel, I can't even see a Psychologist and they all let me down anyway. I tell my GP and Psychiatrist this everytime and they don't get it and understand how I feel, and it's like they think I'm making it up but I'm not (bad experiences with Psychologists I mean). They think it's so easy to find one, it isn't. I've tried so many places.

I wish I could do some sort of group therapy myself but there is none where I live and I don't feel comfortable using Zoom

Bad Deprssion

Guest_4643 — Sun, 24 Jan 2021 01:45:11 GMT

Sorry I forgot to type in my comment above that I hope you can find something that works for you and you feel comfortable with, best of luck. I'm here for you, we all are Nelson

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golden82 — Sun, 24 Jan 2021 02:01:38 GMT

hi Nelson,

I would echo what Juliet has said re ECT and would really weigh up pros/cons. I also have depression and anxiety for some years now. I have never been on meds let alone ECT - so do not have my own experience of it like Juliet. But I have been in hospitals and spoken with others - patients and staff and they all say what Juliet has said and that they regret it as it has changed them/memories etc etc. It sounds quite scary and I would never touch it. And believe me I suffer severe depression - in bed most days and on lifelines - but still I would never go there. It is your choice - but I would talk to a few professionals, do some research, including into other things such as meds - different classes of meds etc. And go from there. All the best.

Bad Deprssion

Nelson001 — Sun, 24 Jan 2021 03:10:52 GMT

Thanks for the reply guys. much appreciated. Hearing that someone else feels the same way as me, believe it or not makes me feel a little bit better. It lets me know that it's all part of the depression.

ECT sounds pretty scary. If it's that bad maybe I'll have to look at something else. The only other option I have is tapering off the pills that I'm on but you have to go through bad depression as you go. They want me to come down in mg and then start on another medication, but you come down at 10% a month. I started to taper off but the depression became too much.

Life can be a bitch sometimes. All my thoughts are so negative, and anything I have to do becomes a big project I don't know what to do. I just wish this feeling would leave me alone. Talking to people like you guys helps a lot. You don't feel so lonely. Thanks

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Nelson001 — Sun, 24 Jan 2021 03:14:28 GMT

Hi again golden82. Why don't you try so meds, when they work they work well and make you feel normal.

Cheers Nelson

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Nelson001 — Mon, 25 Jan 2021 03:23:32 GMT

Hi all, Is there anyone else that have had ECT at all that you could tell of their experience.

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Guest_4643 — Mon, 25 Jan 2021 04:00:30 GMT

Hi Nelson, I haven't had ECT. I haven't even had CBT or any therapy like that, only meds. But I know ECT stands for Electroconvulsive Therapy

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sunnyl20 — Mon, 25 Jan 2021 08:13:33 GMT

Hi Nelson001,

As well as following the responses here, you may also find it helpful to look through these threads to hear about others' experiences with ECT:

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/treatments-health-professionals-and-therapies/ect-treatment

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/treatments-health-professionals-and-therapies/updated-impending-ect-treatment

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/treatments-health-professionals-and-therapies/tired-of-been-depressed-now---looking-at-ect-

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/treatments-health-professionals-and-therapies/ect---my-experience

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/treatments-health-professionals-and-therapies/my-wife-has-just-had-ect---what-is-the-recovery-time-

I hope that you find reading these helpful. Take care.

Bad Deprssion

Nelson001 — Tue, 26 Jan 2021 02:17:18 GMT

Hi, thanks for that info sunnyl20. They are very helpful. I think I will still go ahead with the ECT, my head is worth nothing the way it is at the moment. The big question is ECT bulk billed.