topic Lost in Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

Lost

Jamie_K — Thu, 21 Jan 2021 22:12:44 GMT

Looking for a positive in every negative situation has been the key to keep me going thru life’s many challenging times from an early age.At 50 I’m diagnosed with a rare form macular degeneration. Like a final kick in the guts , struggling to find anything positive about loosing your vision a silent torture. I’m sinking fast and open to any direction of help

Lost

romantic_thi3f — Thu, 21 Jan 2021 23:58:49 GMT

Hi Jamie K,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for reaching out- I'm so sorry to hear of your diagnosis.

While this is not something that I can relate to, I imagine that if I was in the same boat as you I think I'd really like to get a bit of extra support. For me personally, the plus side would be that I have time left with my vision, and I think it would be important to try and be as independent as possible for as long as possible and set myself up for when the vision goes.

Do you have some support in your life and people who can help get you through? Is counselling something that you've considered?

Lost

Jamie_K — Fri, 22 Jan 2021 00:49:25 GMT

Hi RT

yes I run a small nursery from home and have changed what I do so I don’t have to rely on sales runs to survive Counselling , has never worked for me , reached out to vision Australia NDIS in which nearly broke me asking for help. Ended a 25 year marriage a few years back and moved permanently out west

My kids are young adults and enjoying their lives, something I didn’t get the chance to do at their age. So I don’t burden them with my problems

my issue is it’s a waiting game with what I have and no one can tell me how long till I can’t see

Thats what eats at me inside

im slowly becoming less positive

Lost

smallwolf — Sat, 23 Jan 2021 01:18:34 GMT

hi and welcome Jamie K.

sounds like you have had a challenging life from reading your post and now the added frustration with your losing your sight. I know of two people who have lost their vision and being in their place or yours would be difficult to understand. I hope you don't mind if I ask you some questions of that I can get a better understanding...

I had to do a google search to find out a little. What stage are you in?

I am also sorry to hear you have had no success with professional help with counsellors. What happened there where it did not work?

I might be misinterpreting your post and with the break up of your marriage and not wanting to burden your children with your issues, it sounds as though there are few people who can support you which in turn perhaps gives you a lot of time to fixate on the problems. Well, that is what happens to me.

On the other hand, I also do things like journalling which help me get the thoughts out of my head and put somewhere else. So I will ask whether there are things that have been helpful to you?

There are other things I could ask and I hope you might come back to share more of your story.

Tim

Lost

white knight — Sun, 31 Jan 2021 23:52:51 GMT

Hi Jamie

I'm 65yo, I have bipolar2, dysthymia etc and severe arthritis in my knees.

I am ultra positive but my mental state produces road bumps to that on occasions, and that's out of my control.

My knees is a good example. I struggle to walk 50 metres some days- but I'm not in a wheelchair!. Im bipolar which creates mood swings- but I'm not an inpatient at a hospital. My dysthymia gives my high emotion but without it I'd not be able to write my poetry.

Your approaching disabilities can and should, in time, be taken in the same light. Losing your sight will be hard but it's what abilities and sense a you have left that matters.

Please Google
Beyondblue topic 30minutes can change your life

Thanks for posting
TONYWK