topic Why would my psychologist ask me if I am depressed? in Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

Why would my psychologist ask me if I am depressed?

Guest_1211 — Mon, 20 Jul 2020 10:59:17 GMT

I have been seeing her for about 2 years now... but I mean, why would she ask me? I don’t know. It feels like a trick question. I want to disappear. She asked me two weeks in a row, and I just looked down and shrugged my shoulders. I don’t know what to say.

Why would my psychologist ask me if I am depressed?

smallwolf — Mon, 20 Jul 2020 13:28:44 GMT

When my psych asks me how I have been... sometimes when times have been good I also reply that I feel like a fraud and my problems don't really exist.

Perhaps they were picking up on what you were not saying?

Or using that question as a way of finding out what might have been on you mind.

This is all speculation of course. From your post though... what do you want to disappear from?

Why would my psychologist ask me if I am depressed?

Sophie_M — Mon, 20 Jul 2020 14:44:40 GMT

Hi fernwehr,

Thanks for reaching out to the community. We're so sorry to hear that you're feeling like you want to disappear. We understand that this feeling might be overwhelming. If you're not sure how to answer your psychologist's question, it might be worth communicating this to them so that they can approach the conversation in a way that makes you feel more comfortable.

It's good to hear that you have sought help, and you are still trying - well done! We think it's really strong of you to have this persistence.You might find some of the following Beyond Blue resources helpful:

“Talk about it"” - https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/have-the-conversation/talk-about-it
"Personal stories" - https://www.beyondblue.org.au/who-does-it-affect/personal-stories
"Journey to wellness" - https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/staying-well/journey-to-wellness

If you would like to post further, please tell us more about yourself, what's on your mind and how we can best help you.

Why would my psychologist ask me if I am depressed?

blondguy — Mon, 20 Jul 2020 15:00:26 GMT

Hi fernwhehr

Therapists do ask these questions only to see how we are really going as I had the same questions from my psychologist too

If you want to elaborate on what you are going through we can provide you with more effective support

The forums are a non judgemental and safe place for you to post

my kind thoughts

Paul

Why would my psychologist ask me if I am depressed?

geoff — Mon, 20 Jul 2020 20:17:31 GMT

Hello Fernwehr, and welcome to the forums.

That's a good question and I've been asked it many times by the same psychologist and there are numerous reasons why this may happen depending on the situation you're in.

Perhaps if I can make some suggestions:

-to monitor how our week/month has actually been and then determine what type of counselling they need to concentrate on

-they can gauge by the look on your face, and if you say 'good' but don't seem that way, it only takes a few minutes to realise

-if you say 'not good' then they can ask 'why' and zoom into what's happened

-I've walked in being 'good' but left the opposite

-you maybe good in one particular area that's been discussed, and that's a start, but all those other concerns haven't been overcome

-it's easy to say 'yes' but after some discussion and talking more about the topic, there are parts that I have neglected to think about

I'm not qualified to say any of this, but experience has taught me this.

There are other answers to your question.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

Why would my psychologist ask me if I am depressed?

Guest_1211 — Tue, 21 Jul 2020 00:44:21 GMT

I actually don’t feel too good at all. It’s overwhelming right now.

There’s a lot going on I guess. I feel like a fraud and imposter because I act like it’s all fine but I feel like everything is crumbling beneath me. I am a leader of a team, I have people to take care of, students to worry about, my own children...

I have had health issues for the past 18 months, and it’s been really difficult to manage that and all my other responsibilities. There are a lot of people relying on me.

But I’m in physical pain. Recovering from surgery again. I can’t eat properly. I can’t sleep. When I do I have nightmares. I’m plagued by flashbacks (some visual, most just emotional). I am fighting self harm urges.

I am seen as capable, caring, happy and strong. I can’t show anyone how weak, sad, scared and fake I really am.

I have been trying to help myself with my psychologist who I trust, but I still have trouble being honest. I’m scared all the time. I freeze and zone out and then get so ashamed of myself and angry for wasting her time, my family’s resources, and for not doing better.

Im trying to help myself but I feel like I’m digging down deeper rather than up.

Why would my psychologist ask me if I am depressed?

LostCyclist — Tue, 21 Jul 2020 05:34:27 GMT

I'm sure your therapist knows, but is perhaps wanting to see if you are aware of it...understand you have depression...and generally get a sense for how you perceive your own situation and headspace.

Some answers are worth exploring together but answering yourself. Saying that you are can be a big step in moving forward?

Don't feel you are being judged. They are there to help you and support you exploring your own head. Don't feel scared to explore. It might be damn hard to accept that you are depressed. Perhaps you associate things with depression that stop you acknowledging you are?

I was almost debilitated with depression, thinking it was a physical issue post accident. 3 years on...and I now have to unravel the damage I've done to myself in my own head. The first step, even though I thought I 'got depressed' sometimes, was acknowledging I 'have depression'. Two very different things.

It might seem like a prison to be labelled with that. But it also might be freeing. To the extent that you aren't focussing on something else being the issue/cause. And working to understand why you are this way.

Stick it out. I'd say if you are being challenged in your sessions you aren't wasting your time with the therapist.

Why would my psychologist ask me if I am depressed?

LostCyclist — Tue, 21 Jul 2020 05:53:10 GMT

Hey...just read more of the thread.

I feel you.

The days/weeks you go backwards when you are in therapy and you feel you shouldn't and should be progressing are TOUGH!!! Really tough. It's like...if even therapy can't help what's the point right?

Don't feel that way. Don't feel that you NEED to be progressing yet. Or soon. Don't feel you need to be better or something you think others expect you to be. Be how you are and need to be. There is nothing wrong with feeling crap. With wanting to hide from the world. There are days I stay in bed almost all day. Where I want to just sleep and sleep and not get up to deal with the world and the expected torment of not being 'better'.

My therapist says I need to do things even when i feel horrible, but also accept that I do feel horrible. I'm still trying to wrap my head around that. It's a really weird fine line. Accept you aren't where you want to be, but that you are still capable of achieving something today. And whatever you manage to do, that's good. That's ok.

At least that is my struggle. My story. My journey.

Your recovery and path might be different. But I feel you. I don't have the answer that you want. The golden ticket. The magic pill. Just hang in there. I'm a heck of a lot better than I was, but a million miles from where I want to be. That's ok for now. That I don't spend the days feeling like its better to leave this world and researching ways to do that are good. I have the odd moment, but it's short. I've come a long way. And I'm 3 years down the track (not of therapy but of dealing with my injury/accident). I imagine unpacking and healing mentally from three years of beating myself up is going to take time. Some days I'm not hopeful. Other days I am. Some days I feel like I'm letting down my mother who is so supportive. Even on a good day I don't feel like I am doing as much as she expects or that I want to do. I still beat myself up over that. But I am proud when I can get throgh something, part of soemthing.

Why would my psychologist ask me if I am depressed?

LostCyclist — Tue, 21 Jul 2020 05:53:26 GMT

As to wasting resources and time. Don't be. Those people that love you are likely to sell all they own if it helped get you back to good health. You'll know when you are a burden when they stop offering support!! But if that is there and they are telling you they are thre for you and not to worry about the money, then don't. Trust in them and what they say. And it might be that they deal with some of your pain on your journey....but my mother who spent 15 years of almost horror trying to help a drug addicted son (my brother), doesn't regret it now that he is on the right path.

Just don't give up.You never know what tomorrow brrings. And even if you can't enjoy life presently...even if you don't feel confidentabout recovering, you can only try. Because tomorrow could be the day. Maybe not the day you'll feel perfect, but the day that you can build on. The day things start clicking.

Physical pain and mental pain are both horrible things in their own right. Together, yes. Tough. so tough. We don't always heal as soon as we want. Sometimes we don't heal at all. But from those I've spoken with, they seem to find peace along the way. I'm not saying you will....I'm hoping I might yet.

Be as positive as you can. Try. And trust the support you are being offered. It wouldn't be there if it wasn't genuine.

Why would my psychologist ask me if I am depressed?

Guest_1211 — Tue, 21 Jul 2020 07:33:45 GMT

Wow, thanks for the huge detailed reply. I feel guilty that you’ve even taken so much time to type all of that out.

I’m just so tired. And it all feels too hard.

Why would my psychologist ask me if I am depressed?

monkey_magic — Tue, 21 Jul 2020 11:36:44 GMT

Hi fernwehr,

I can empathize with life feeling too hard. It really is sometimes.

I haven't read all replys but wanted to add my bit if that's ok.

I'm also a fraud and imposter. I think we all are to some extent. " How are you feeling? "Good" is most people's response even though they're not truely feeling that way.

The truth will set you free. I think it's crucial to be real and honest with others. That way they can support you. Those you trust of course.

Sounds like you're going through a difficult time. U don't have to do it alone. Never be ashamed of asking loved ones for help.

Wishing you lots of rest and recuperation. Your healing/ health must come first now.

💜

Why would my psychologist ask me if I am depressed?

Guest_1211 — Tue, 21 Jul 2020 13:07:06 GMT

I just don’t know how else to help myself. It’s all feeling beyond me. I just feel like I fail at every turn.

I can’t even succeed in therapy.

i feel out of options

Why would my psychologist ask me if I am depressed?

Sophie_M — Tue, 21 Jul 2020 13:20:52 GMT

Hey fernwehr, we're glad you've reached out to the forums tonight. We think it's great that you're so proactive in seeking help and that you are willing to examine your own feelings and behaviour.

We recognise how overwhelmed you feel right now, so we just wanted to let you know that if you find yourself feeling particularly overwhelmed before receiving further mental health support, please know that there is help available to you.

The Beyond Blue Support Service on 1300 22 4636 or our friends at Lifeline on 13 11 14 are available to provide support and advice 24/7. Please do feel free to use these services to talk through what's on your mind when it's feeling like too much to cope with.

Thank you for keeping us updated fernwehr.

Why would my psychologist ask me if I am depressed?

TheBigBlue — Tue, 21 Jul 2020 13:28:13 GMT

Hi fernwehr & welcome.

Perhaps the psychologist has an idea you may have depression but is trying to prompt you to think about it & possibly recognise it yourself? Just a thought, so don’t read too much into it.

i experienced that caused trauma when I was young & to this day it still affects my life severely. I had many appointments with the psychologist before I was brave enough to open up & tell someone. It was around 35 years after the event & I had kept it secret inside all that time. It was a a relief to get it out. But then it’s like I relived the experience again & had a massive struggle with depression, nightmares, physical feelings of anxiety when in certain locations that triggered my memory of the event ie fear, racing heart, shortness of breath, sweaty palms, nausea.

Anyway, I started writing stuff down about how I was feeling & would email it to the psychologist a few days ahead of our appointment so I was able to describe what I was going through without having to actually speak it aloud. And then we could discuss it in the appointment. Would something like that be of any help to you? Just something to consider.

Take care

Why would my psychologist ask me if I am depressed?

smallwolf — Tue, 21 Jul 2020 14:09:41 GMT

Hi again - I have been seeing my psychologist for over 2 years. When I feel good and I see here, I feel like a fraud. And then something happens that makes me realise why I do. Like you, I am on this journey of staying afloat. It also sounds like you are really hurting as well. Whether you want to tell your psych and unable to because of the emotional pain or not finding the right words **

** this was something my father has difficulties with. Very smart man but unable to express how he felt.

Perhaps if you were able to write down your thoughts on paper as a way of communcating with your psych? A way of opening doors you cannot verbalise. For myself, when I first spoke to my psych about suicide I froze and said nothing. It was a fear of weakness, not coping or whatever other word you want to use.

Just know we are here for you and will support you,

Peace, Tim

Why would my psychologist ask me if I am depressed?

Guest_1211 — Tue, 21 Jul 2020 14:20:22 GMT

I keep feeling like I’m making it up. That there is nothing wrong, that I’m just trying to illicit sympathy I don’t deserve. A drama queen who just wants attention.

I spend so much time helping others. Listening to them, giving advice. Who am I to do that, when I feel hollow inside.

What right do I have to complain when I have two amazing children, a loving husband, a beautiful house, financial security, a great job and plenty of friends.

How can I feel like this when I have every reason to be happy?

Why can’t I silence the past. Why does it have to keep intruding... how does it have the ability to invalidate every good thing I have around me and make me feel like I can’t do anything positive?

Why would my psychologist ask me if I am depressed?

geoff — Tue, 21 Jul 2020 17:47:28 GMT

Hello Fernwehr, you could be the richest person in the world, everything is done not only for you but for your family in the way that pleases you, but this will not stop depression of any type from looming and attaching itself on you and maybe for no apparent reason.

If you can't move at your normal pace, everything seems to go wrong, getting out of bed is much harder than usual, carrying on with a conversion seems to be impossible, impending doom, agitated and the list goes on, then write these down and give the list to your psychologist.

Ask the psych why they would they ask if you're depressed, put the ball back into their court, you are allowed to ask them questions.

Take care.

Geoff.

Why would my psychologist ask me if I am depressed?

Guest_1211 — Wed, 22 Jul 2020 15:17:29 GMT

I’ve seen my lovely psychologist tonight. I probably didn’t say how difficult I have found this past week.

I didn’t ask about her questions the last few weeks. I just feel so self conscious.

I tried so so hard to stay grounded tonight. I didn’t quite manage to. But she did say that I had done really well tonight, that I had communicated a lot more. I still feel like I’ve failed. I talked a fair bit about the intrusions, my sleep (or lack of) since I was very young. Hyper-vigilance. My constant sense of foreboding. Not that you would know any of this from the outside.

I find the first 24-48 hours after quite difficult. I just want to fade into oblivion, but I can’t because everything just keeps going, and I have to pull the game face back on.