topic Instead of harming myself I now........(list three of four dot points) in Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

Instead of harming myself I now........(list three of four dot points)

Aaronsis — Fri, 20 Mar 2020 05:48:10 GMT

Hi lovely people

I just wanted to start this thread as "self harm" seems to be an increasing topic that I have noticed lately.

Firstly there is some wonderful information at this link:

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/suicide-prevention/feeling-suicidal/self-harm-and-self-injury

Some of the discussion I have been involved in I am hearing that the "techniques" that are suggested to people to do or use instead of hurting themselves is "silly", "don't work", "well if it was that easy I wouldn't be here". So I want to reach out to anyone and everyone to perhaps put down three or four or as many as you feel comfortable to, tips that DO WORK for you.

I have suggested smashing plates, in a controlled space of course and not your mum's best plates either! Do you think this would work?

I think knowledge is power and the more we share knowledge we can use it to help others and to make a difference, a real difference in someone else's healing.

I also understand this is a sensitive topic but if you feel comfortable to share what works for you or what you need in that time that stops you from hurting yourself that would be so helpful.

Please be mindful this is a sensitive topic so just dot point the things you do instead of hurting yourself.

Huge hugs to you all.

Sarah xxx

Instead of harming myself I now........(list three of four dot points)

Doolhof — Fri, 20 Mar 2020 06:24:59 GMT

Hi Sarah,

Thanks for a sensitive look at what can be a very confusing time for people.

One of my issues when I don't understand what is going on in my mind is that the emotional pain becomes too much and I get angry. Instead of harming I have been able to reduce this by:

Vigorous activity like gardening, going for a fast walk, vacuuming with gusto!

If I can't get outside I may write out all I am experiencing, draw a picture, rip up paper, scream into a pillow.

Later I try to work out why I was so triggered so next time I don't escalate so quickly.

Cheers to you and all from Dools

Instead of harming myself I now........(list three of four dot points)

Guest_4643 — Fri, 20 Mar 2020 06:43:40 GMT

Hi Sarah, thank you for this thread, what a nice idea. You're right, I've been seeing a lot of posts about self harming and it breaks my heart, that and the fact that I'm really thinking of doing it myself too lately although I haven't and never have but it's quite hard for me to fight the urges.

Like Doolhof, I like walking, colouring in, going on the forums and colouring in. Not much I know but it's something I suppose.

My Psychiatrist suggested, which most people probably know and have tried, is to get a rubber band on your wrist and GENTLY snap it, or clap. You can also draw a butterfly or multiple butterflies where you want to harm yourself and the aim is to not hurt the butterfly, and of course yourself. Or you can put ice on you.

Take care everyone, please don't hurt yourself. I'm sorry you're all struggling. I'm always here for everyone.

Tayla

Instead of harming myself I now........(list three of four dot points)

Matchy69 — Fri, 20 Mar 2020 07:30:02 GMT

Hi Sarah thanks for the great new post.I know all about self harm i have done it my self and have known others that have.

Instead of harming myself I now........(list three of four dot points)

Guest_4643 — Fri, 20 Mar 2020 07:55:04 GMT

I'm so sorry to hear that Mark, how are you doing now?

Tayla

Instead of harming myself I now........(list three of four dot points)

Matchy69 — Fri, 20 Mar 2020 08:16:51 GMT

Hi Tayla thank you for caring.I am not real good at the moment.I havent told anyone on this site but i have step twins who are 25 that were my ex wifes that i loved like my own.One of my step twins has left me out of everything like not inviting me to her wedding and graduation and every bog occasion in her life.It has made me feel like total crap and i have told her how i just told her how i really feel and now i feel like crap as she is pregnant but i know i will be left out of my grandsons life.I shouldnt have said anything to her as she is pregnant and she is due on the 3rd May.

Instead of harming myself I now........(list three of four dot points)

Guest_4643 — Fri, 20 Mar 2020 09:03:18 GMT

Hi Mark. Wow I'm so sorry to hear that, that's awful. I'm always here as you know.

That's terrible, makes me sad and sympathetic for you. Some "people" are so toxic, huh?

Tayla

Instead of harming myself I now........(list three of four dot points)

Aaronsis — Fri, 20 Mar 2020 09:35:27 GMT

Thank you so much for your comments, it is really great to understand and to be able to share.

Thank you Dools: They are some really great tips and I think the ripping up paper would let off the same steam that the plate smashing would..do you think?

Great suggestions Tayla and thank you for sharing too, it is so great to hear that you have been able to keep the urges to harm at bay and I am hoping that some of the things we can raise here will be useful to people and maybe even to you, although I pray you dont need them x

I am grateful for your support Mark and I am so very sorry things are tough for you at the moment. Can you think of some of the things that you did to help you when you did feel so very low and like you needed to hurt yourself? Please only answer if you feel comfortable to.

I feel so privileged to be able to share such personal information with you all and it is for the greater good to be able to actually support others with some "distractions" that have not necessarily been suggested to them before.

Thank you xxxx

Instead of harming myself I now........(list three of four dot points)

Matchy69 — Fri, 20 Mar 2020 09:35:58 GMT

Hi Tayla thank you fot caring.I havent heard back from my step daughter after i told her how i really feel about being left out of everything.We were so close and she use to tell me everything including her first sexual experince when she was 13 but i wasnt good enough to be invited to her wedding and things.It really hurts me.

Instead of harming myself I now........(list three of four dot points)

OceanWhispers — Mon, 23 Mar 2020 11:03:01 GMT

Hi Sarah and everyone,

Thank you for this post as so far I haven't been very good at stopping myself so will try some of the ideas mentioned.

The main thing that has worked for me is sleep. When I've been at that point it's usually night time and I'm usually mentally and physically exhausted. I just have to tell myself if I can fall asleep then it will be a new day. Doesn't always work but worth a try.

Take care everyone x

Instead of harming myself I now........(list three of four dot points)

Aaronsis — Mon, 23 Mar 2020 21:51:03 GMT

Good Morning OW

Thank you so much for sharing that even when you do try so hard it is not always achievable. That is a really brave thing to be able to admit. I really do hope some of the suggestions do work for you, that is my hope with this thread that there will be some "things" that are outside the box that people come to share that others have never thought of but essentially turn out to be..well..life savers.

Stay strong my friends xx

Sarah xxx

Instead of harming myself I now........(list three of four dot points)

Guest_4643 — Tue, 24 Mar 2020 00:05:20 GMT

Hi all, sorry that you're all struggling. Thanks to Sarah for this thread, it's interesting. Thanks for the kind words too, I'm still struggling day by day. Take care all

Instead of harming myself I now........(list three of four dot points)

OceanWhispers — Tue, 24 Mar 2020 12:42:57 GMT

This evening I used the text Lifeline service. Whilst I wasn't thinking of self harm then it did help me to talk through what was on my mind and would've been a distraction so that's always an option too.
Now that I'm in bed and very depressed self harm is on my mind and seeing sleep won't help tonight I'm going to try a few other things like playing some games on my phone first

Instead of harming myself I now........(list three of four dot points)

alasdayr — Tue, 24 Mar 2020 13:42:09 GMT

Diversion/delaying tactics:
- Walking / exercise
- Mindfulness exercises (focus on activities that take all your attention)
- In depth research on topics of interest
- Finding some I trust to talk to

I find my urge to self harm comes in waves. If I can ride out the current wave I can usually get back to a safe mindset.

While in the grip of an urge it's hard to be nice to yourself. This is why I focus on diversion / delay instead of self kindness to come out the other side. It takes more than what I have during a wave to be kind. At those time, self-kindness is what I feel LEAST like doing (or deserving).

Alasdayr.

Instead of harming myself I now........(list three of four dot points)

Aaronsis — Tue, 24 Mar 2020 21:21:53 GMT

Hey OW

I know how hard things are for you at the moment and I am so inspired by your strength, even if it is just to get through the next hour, you do it and you are so very strong, even though strength I am sure is nothing what you are feeling now.

Thanks you for sharing what is such a personal thing but I am hoping together we can find some new ways to really help others.

Well done for reaching out to LifeLine, your life matters xx

Instead of harming myself I now........(list three of four dot points)

Aaronsis — Tue, 24 Mar 2020 21:24:31 GMT

Hi Alasdayr

Thank you so much for sharing, I absolutely love the idea of researching a topic that you are very interested in, that is a brilliant idea and will certainly create a good distraction for some time.

I really appreciate your post and once again, thanks for sharing what is a really personal and painful topic.

Huge hugs

Sarah xx

Instead of harming myself I now........(list three of four dot points)

Guest_4643 — Tue, 24 Mar 2020 23:19:30 GMT

Hi all, I have a question. I'm not saying I will harm myself but the thoughts are so strong.

Anyway, if I did harm myself and have a plan and told my Psychiatrist this, I'm worried he'd admit me, or do they just do that with your consent and by law? I don't feel like a risk to others, maybe myself. I haven't done anything. I'm scared and I don't want to be admitted. He's adamant I should go the triage although they were all extremely rude and refused to help me, to me it feels like he's pushing me away and it's hurtful.

Instead of harming myself I now........(list three of four dot points)

Aaronsis — Wed, 25 Mar 2020 00:11:59 GMT

Hey Tayla

I hear that you are really struggling, I think you are so very strong and you have so much support here, please don't give in to the urges. Please try and listen hard to the advice you give to others in asking them to stay strong, to not hurt themselves, take this for you too sweet girl.

Alasdayr had a great suggestion of researching something that you are really interested in..perhaps that might work for you??? You could try researching how to move out of home and what things and support you might need, look at some of the share house options...just and idea.

Please stay safe, we care so much about you.

HUgs

Sarah xx

Instead of harming myself I now........(list three of four dot points)

Guest_4643 — Wed, 25 Mar 2020 00:41:11 GMT

Thanks Sarah but I can't fight the urges. My Psych probably hates me, keeps trying to send me to triage and to me thats hurtful and like he's pushing me away. I'll speak to him about this when I see him on Monday

Instead of harming myself I now........(list three of four dot points)

alasdayr — Wed, 25 Mar 2020 02:36:54 GMT

Tayla,

I really feel for how strong harmful thoughts can be. I too have experienced them first hand. Sometimes I can resist, some times I am not as strong as I would like to be. The challenge at those times is to put as much distance (physical or mental) between you and action for as long as possible.

On the topic of psych triage, I have found the whole admittance process quite confronting. Having someone trusted and in a calm state to try assist you at those times helps enormously. I have had to go through it with my daughter (she was mentally in a really bad way). She has been admitted to juvenile care for just over a week in the past. We are currently seeking a second admission to more adult care to help her out.

Mental triage can be confronting. Especially when you are in an agitated or fragile state (this is why have help if possible). The primary goal of triage is to determine a level of urgency so the most dire get attention from limited resources first. Your evaluation of urgency of your own situation, when in a heightened state, can quite often not match the opinion of the triage personnel. At those times triage may genuinely seem rude and unwilling to help.

You are unlikely to be admitted for self harm that is not thought to be precursor to a real attempt to take your own life. This is mainly because facilities and capacity are in such short supply.

Your psychiatrist is the best person to make a judgement on any "involuntary" admission. This is usually only in circumstances that there is a genuine fear for your, or others, imminent safety. This sort of decision is never taken lightly.

Most facilities are geared towards helping as much as possible in a safe environment. The purpose is primarily to help those who are in there care develop the ability to lead a life that is as happy, normal and productive as possible (and as fast a possible). That ability for life may be medication, mental skills/strategies or a combination of both.

Stay safe Tayla.

Alasdayr.