topic No help for the desperate in Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

No help for the desperate

Marymag — Thu, 16 Jun 2022 09:53:15 GMT

Hi, i realise this wont be posted straight away, im on hold to beyong blue trying to talk to somone, its been over 26 mins now, no time at all in other matters, i tried the mental health line and and lifeline first but couldnt wait past the 20 minute mark. Im still on hold to BB because i dont know what else to do. I know it will most lijely be too late to get help here but i have to try, as a last resort. My mood is extremely agistated. Over the top.
10/10 extreme.
Things ive tried to calm down.
ice water bath, really hot bath, bare feet outside in shorts and singlet, lavender oil, cups of chamomile tea, valarian, pacing and insividual muscle relaxation.
thai chi and breathing techniqyes got a look in too but just made me more aggitated.
this is sooo aweful.
Does anyone have the faintest clue how to relax when this agitated?
please

No help for the desperate

Sophie_M — Thu, 16 Jun 2022 10:15:43 GMT

Hi there, Shazza,

First of all, our sincere apologies about the wait time tonight, I checked in with the other teams and it has been a hard night for all, sadly. Please hang in there - we will be with you ASAP.

In the meantime, watch for the cycle - it is a cruel twist of human neurology, but trying to force calm breaks calm - or another way of saying it - the harder we try to force ourselves out of agitation, the more exhausted and agitated we can become.

Never under estimate the power of visualization - it might sound really silly, but if you can imagine your heart rate slowing, your muscles unlocking, your breath slowing.... it can start to happen. Rather than demanding your body to slow down, imagine yourself already there. Try not to fight the distress, try to know it’s there and choose not to participate in it.

Remember the calmest you have ever felt and feel yourself drifting back there. harmonised sounds and music tracks can help while you are visualizing, if you have them - but in the meantime, please stay on the line Shazza - the team will be with you ASAP!

Regards,

Sophie M.

No help for the desperate

Marymag — Thu, 16 Jun 2022 10:42:03 GMT

Thanks Sophie, i didnt put visualisation but as with the gentler techniques of deep breathing, thai chi, and gradual muscle tense and release it was one of my first attempts, im trying to do a mixture of different things now, ice bath has stopped me from self harming so i might have to do that again now ive warmed up.
I hung up after 45 min wait. Im trying the inline chat option.
are you aware of any real time chats that are safe? Ive never felt this agitated in my life and ive been winning at beating poor mental haelth since i was 12yrs old.
thanks, nice just to feel heard and acknowledged.

No help for the desperate

yggdrasil — Thu, 16 Jun 2022 10:52:25 GMT

1) Try naming some things around the room out loud.

2) Try repeating a phrase that is meaningful to you out loud over and over again. E.g. a mantra from a religion, a line from a song, a quote from a movie: anything that is repetitive, sounds nice, and is meaningul for you. I'm not religious, but I say the "Hail Mary full of grace..." thing a few times, and that usually helps calm me down. I suspect the act of saying something repetitive out loud slows down your mind and regulates your breathing. If I'm in public and embarassed I just whisper it, barely moving my lips.

3) Count backwards from 1000. If that's two easy, and your mind is still racing, try counting backwards from 1000 by twos or threes, e.g. "1000, 997, 994, 991, 898" etc. I find anything repetitive, but with a small to moderate cognitive demand, an effective way to draw mental energy away from intense, self-destructive thoughts and feelings.

4) Play a simple online computer game, e.g. try Google searching for "online solitaire" or "online Pong".

5) If you have some adult colouring books work on one of those.

I understand the feeling of being below rock bottom, out of control, and unable to get through to anyone on the phone. Just know there are people out there who do desperately want to help. Hold on and keep trying until you get through to someone. Please feel free to keep posting here as well to let us know how you are doing. Thinking of you, and wishing you the best.

No help for the desperate

smallwolf — Thu, 16 Jun 2022 11:01:18 GMT

Something else you could try ...

While I use an app called virtual hope you, it includes a section called relax me. It has short guided meditations, games you can play as well.

When mind is struggling such as yours might be I know it can take a long while to be able to distract myself.

At the same time I also know that playing a word search puzzle over and over to be helpful for me.

No help for the desperate

Marymag — Thu, 16 Jun 2022 11:10:06 GMT

Thanks, very helpful, im trying to play hard saduko and say the alphabet backwards.
Not at the same time.
I was not expecting to get feedback like this.
its great thanks

No help for the desperate

Marymag — Thu, 16 Jun 2022 11:11:29 GMT

Thanks, ive just started playing saduko. I love word games.

No help for the desperate

Petal22 — Thu, 16 Jun 2022 11:28:52 GMT

Hi Shazza71,

Im sorry you are feeling this way.

Put your attention on your breath, follow your breath when your mind wonders put your attention back on your breath.

Your breathe is always there use it as a grounding tool.

I hope things improve for you.

No help for the desperate

Marymag — Thu, 16 Jun 2022 11:37:28 GMT

Wow, nothing is working for very long at all. Ive been battling mental health since 12yrs of age and have used just about every tool in the box and im still super agitated.
The lovely gentle stuff that i practice daily, ie meditation, breat work, gentle groundinf techniques, are if possible making things worse.
Im in the cold shivering, think its time for another ice bath. I have one bag of ice left, and although there is a service station close by. I think its almost time for an ambulance.
will keep trying the harder brain stuff,

ps tried to add a profile picture but that just made me madder. Lol still have a sense of humour in there but not for too much longer. Eeeeeew this is extremely uncomfortable.

No help for the desperate

Sophie_M — Thu, 16 Jun 2022 11:53:54 GMT

Hi again, Shazza!

Thank you for keeping us all in the loop.

Please know that we would never put pressure on you in terms of any particular decisions, but in general, if you feel like it is time for the ambulance - then it's time for the ambulance.
At the very least, there will be others around you, and the thought that you can hold in the back of your mind is that you are safe!

In the meantime, perhaps a new tool you could look at is e-couch (or mood gym) so that there are some virtual tools in the background to play with.

Please give them a try and see what happens - but when it doubt, call for help, and get to safety.

Hang in there!

Sophie M.

No help for the desperate

yggdrasil — Thu, 16 Jun 2022 11:57:19 GMT

I hope you get through to someone on the phone soon. Don't force the brain games if they're not working. Like Sophie_M says, trying too hard to force yourself out of certain state rarely works, it will take some time for it to pass. Just try to distract yourself a little bit until the cavalry arrives.

Another distraction trick you could try - see how long you can balance on one leg. After 60 seconds or so you'll really start to feel it and will have to concentrate to stay balanced. See how long you can go for. You can switch legs when you get too wobbly. Hope that helps a little. Hang in there!

No help for the desperate

Marymag — Thu, 16 Jun 2022 12:02:25 GMT

Thanks.

No help for the desperate

Marymag — Thu, 16 Jun 2022 12:06:42 GMT

So glad i reached out here, i did not expect to get to communicate to others. Really grateful

Have called the calvary.
Thanks

No help for the desperate

Marymag — Mon, 20 Jun 2022 09:17:06 GMT

Im not sure what to do? Ive been hanging on by a thread for days, waiting for the mental health acute care team to come to the rescue. I dont know what i exoected. But i certainly did not expect distain, and to be treated like a bad person and to be told, “ oh just call a gp tomorrow” no wonder many dont make it.
im scared and don't know how much longer i can handle this heightened state.

No help for the desperate

smallwolf — Mon, 20 Jun 2022 11:14:51 GMT

sad to hear that your experiences do not seem to be getting any better and that you feel as though you are a bad person.

with the word puzzles in virtual hope box ... there was a time (about a year or 2 ago now) when I sat outside a library, underneath a statue for about 2 hours just doing puzzles because my mind was doing mental gymnastics with negative thoughts.

And... i also am a collector of quotes. One that I had founds ended with "getting through the day is enough".

Can I ask what it is that is eating at you? You don't have to answer this if you do not want to. I would find here that talking about what is going on in my life was helpful.

Listening to you.

No help for the desperate

Marymag — Mon, 20 Jun 2022 12:18:29 GMT

Thanks for reaching out.
long story short.
Ive mental health issues since very young, diagnosis of ptsd, i get extremely depressed, have had a fair few hospital admits in the past and a few close calls with suicide attempts in the past.
But, for the last 16ish yrs ive been on top of it, ive gotten help as soon as my mental health started to slip, tonnes of trauma therapy off all types and generally keeping in top of it.
4 yrs ago i had an episode where i thought i was in the past ( stuck in a trauma ) and ive never come quiet right since, the hospital messed me up big time. But was still managing until a few mobths ago my mood started to drop and then 3 weeks ago i started having really over the top anxiety attacks, like nothing ive experienced before, i thought id been drugged the first couple of times, ive been in either a really low mood or extremely agitated and scared, i have little control over my responses and am very very reactive, about a 4yr olds control. It scares me. And it scares me at the lack of professional help available .
not sure what to do about it really.
the usual grounding techniques have little to no effect.

No help for the desperate

Centaured — Mon, 20 Jun 2022 21:01:37 GMT

Hey marymag.

Sorry to hear about everything you're going through. You're really brave to reach out here.

Trauma can be such a debilitating thing to go through and it leaves an injury on our brain. Our responses and systems are never the same. Reliving trauma again van give us responses like children again and leave us with all sorts emotions.

If you had the perfect response from someone what would it look like?

Often we are let by by the responses of professionals because they don't live up to our expectations of what help is supposed to look like, despite them doing they're job. We might want them to fix everything and take away what we are feeling though they cannot. And that leaves us in a worse off position because we feel like we can't be helped.

What do you think would make you feel safe right now and is there any thing can to do to help achieve that.

No help for the desperate

Marymag — Tue, 21 Jun 2022 05:13:26 GMT

Hmm, i dont know what the perfect approach would be, but a helpful one would consist of someone trained in acute mental health. Someone kind with compassion that knows their job and is empathetic but detached. The police linked me up with their mental health worker last night, she was clearly trained, she was calming and soothing not at all condescending, she knew i was in an extreme state and knew how to take me down very very slowly. She recognised that the acute care team who came and saw me were very obviously either un trained in psych nursing or very burnt out, and either way should NOT be handling people in very early and acute stages. She could see that the instructions they gave me were very obviously for someone who's well down the track of recovery. It was a real relief to talk to someone qualified. She is putting forward a note to the on call psychiatrist at the hospital what my immediate safety needs are and is calling me back later tonight to follow up.
what a clear difference it made to speak to a professional with skills. I am so devastated at the state of our current mental health situation in nsw and am no longer surprised at a few horrid things ive seen in recent months due to the lack of professional help available.

No help for the desperate

Spl spl — Tue, 21 Jun 2022 05:36:40 GMT

Hi Marymag,

I'm really sorry to hear you had that experience, but thank you so much for reaching out here despite that whole mess. It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders and are just doing your best to deal with a lot. Sharing your story has helped me to understand things a bit clearer.

Extreme agitation and fear, with little control over your own responses is a a valid reason to feel scared. I've been in a similar situation myself, where fight or flight completely takes over, and yeah it's terrifying. Not feeling in control of yourself, and other people not seeming to give your situation the time of day- its understandable that things feel unpredictable for you at the moment. It's okay to feel scared.

As for what you can do about it- you say the usual grounding techniques have little to no effect. That can happen when the fight or flight response is still being triggered. Instead of taking on more things to do, it might be more helpful to move away from whatever is triggering you, in my opinion.

So, as for what the trigger is- seems it began three weeks ago. It could be something that you yourself have been doing, or it could be something happening outside of you. Three weeks ago was the beginning of June- it could even be a date or time. It may feel like a bit of a wild goose chase at first, but when this happens to me, figuring out what's the cause helps me get out of it. So I think it may help you. This is just in my opinion, you don't have to listen to it or take that choice if it doesn't work for you- I'm not a professional. I'm telling you what helped me because it seems like you haven't been able to reach professional help. If there's anyone that used to help you with your trauma in the past, I imagine they might be of help now, if possible.

No help for the desperate

Petal22 — Tue, 21 Jun 2022 06:15:10 GMT

Hi Marymag,

Im so sorry that you experienced this.

I understand it would feel very scary.

Have you ever practiced meditation?

The good thing I found with meditation is the more we practice it the more calmer our inner world becomes and we can tap into that calm place whenever need it.

We are here to support you.